Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
DANI
“ D ani?”
I’ve just walked past Birdie’s room, and her little voice calls out to me.
“Hey, pumpkin.” I push into her room and sit at the edge of the bed, smoothing her dark hair away from her sweet face. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
Pickles is purring at Birdie’s hip, and I reach over to scratch her behind the ears.
“I know.” Birdie yawns widely and holds my hand in hers. “Today was fun, taking Daddy and the others food.”
“I thought so, too.” Especially in Bridger’s office. Talk about hot. The only thing that left a sour taste in my mouth was seeing Angela en route to see Bridger, too. He hasn’t texted me about it, so I hope that means that nothing came of it. “Maybe that’ll be something we do more often. Maybe once a month. Would you like that? ”
“Yeah, it would be fun, and we can change the menu.”
I grin at her. Sometimes, this little peanut is five going on thirty. “That sounds fun. I’m definitely down for that. What else is on your mind tonight?”
Typically, Birdie has no problem going to sleep at bedtime, so I wonder if something is bothering her.
“You live here. With me and Daddy and Pickles.”
“Yes, I do. Are you sure that’s okay with you?”
“I like it.” She smiles at me, and I can’t resist leaning in to kiss her little cheek.
“Good. I do, too. I love spending time with you and your daddy, but I also love it when you and I get time alone, like we have recently. Even though I miss your dad when he works so much, I love it that I get to be with you, you know?”
Birdie nods and releases my hand so she can reach down to pet Pickles.
“Yeah, me, too. Now, I don’t have a bunch of different babysitters all the time, and I get to stay home with you when Daddy’s working.”
“Yeah, unless we decide to go somewhere. Do you still like being in my class? Because that’s a lot of time together.”
“I love school.” Her eyes are starting to get droopy. “Our class is so much fun, and Ariel is my best friend.”
The two little girls have become close, spending recess together and eating lunch together, as well. They’re adorable.
“I like Ariel, too. ”
Birdie nods. “Ariel has a mommy and a daddy.”
Ah, here we go.
“Yes, I’ve met them, and they’re very nice people. Has Ariel told you about them?”
She nods again. “Sometimes, a kid can live with both their mommy and daddy, but sometimes they only live with one of them.”
“Sometimes, yes.”
“But I live with my dad and you. Together.”
I press my lips together and nod, wanting to pull this sweet baby in for a big hug.
“So, does that make you my mommy?”
Oh, my heart.
“Well, I think that’s a good question, sweetie. I love you so much, my whole body is bursting with it. You are such an incredible person, a wonderful little girl, and I’m so grateful that you’re in my life. Do you know that I love you?”
“Of course.” She frowns up at me, the immediate acceptance of my feelings humbling me. “You tell us all the time that you love us.”
“Because I do, and I want to make sure you know it. That you never forget it. If we ever get to a place where you call me Mommy, it will make me the happiest person in the whole world. No one means more to me than you and your dad. I think we make a really great little family, don’t we?”
“We’re pretty much the best.” I love her confidence so much.
Birdie yawns again and settles into her pillow.
“I’m sleepy.”
“Go to sleep, sweetheart. You get to sleep in tomorrow. No school, remember?”
“Yeah. Good night.”
“’Night, pumpkin.”
I sit with her for a few moments longer, making sure that she’s out cold before I leave her room, pulling the door most of the way shut behind me.
Talk about an arrow to the heart.
That little girl has managed to work her way into my heart and soul, and I don’t think that I could love her any more if I’d given birth to her.
She’s important to me. She’s a part of me.
As I glance outside, I can see that the moon is out, and it’s been a while since I laid on the driveway to watch the stars and do my meditation. I bundle up in warm clothes, complete with a Bitterroot Valley Fire Department hoodie of Bridger’s, then wrap myself in a blanket and pad out to the driveway.
It’s chilly, but I don’t mind. The sky is clear, and there must be trillions of stars out this evening.
Lying on my back, I look up and watch a satellite make its way across the sky. The conversation with Birdie is still fresh in my mind. Am I her mommy? It feels like it, and not just because I take care of her so much, filling that physical role. I feel an attachment, a connection to Birdie that I never expected. I love her so fiercely; there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for her.
Staring up at the stars, I start my affirmations.
I am a good teacher.
I am a good person.
I am worthy of love.
I am a good partner to Bridger.
I take a long, deep breath, pulling in the crisp night air, and then exhale as I hear a vehicle turn onto the street.
The door shuts, and then there’s footsteps, and Bridger’s looking down at me.
“It’s too cold out here, kitten.”
“Nah, it’s not bad. Come on, get under my blanket with me.” I hold it open for him, and Bridger shakes his head.
“I won’t have you getting sick. I have the next best thing.” He reaches down and helps me onto my feet, and then he leads me through the house and out the back door, onto the deck, where he turns on a propane heater, sets it on the floor of the deck near the steps, and leads me to sit next to him. “You can look up if you want, but you’ll do it while warm.”
“I love the way you take care of me.” Bridger wraps us both in the blanket, and I snuggle against his side. “So, what happened after I left?”
I’m not going to qualify that question with an unless it’s none of my business.
It’s absolutely my business.
Bridger sighs and hugs me tighter.
“It was nothing that I didn’t expect. Actually, that’s not true. I should say that I didn’t expect any of it, but it didn’t surprise me. First, she tried to seduce me?—”
“She did what? ”
I’m going to rip her hair out by the roots.
“When that didn’t work, she tried to get me and Birdie back.”
Now she has to lose her eyes. And her kneecaps.
“And when that didn’t work, she asked me for one million dollars and a new car to keep her away.”
I feel my mouth hang open, and then I pull away from Bridger to look him in the face. “For what? She has no legal right to Birdie.”
“I reminded her of that. Hey.” He cups my cheek and brushes his thumb over my lips. “I need to make something clear here. I don’t want you to be uncertain or think that I could ever , in any way, want her?—”
“Stop.” I shake my head and move in to straddle his lap. Bridger plants his hands on my ass as I get settled, and then those glorious hands move up my back, making me want to purr. “I know that in the beginning of you and me, I was uncertain. I wasn’t confident in myself, and I questioned what was going on between us, but those doubts are long gone, love.”
“Thank Christ.” He exhales and tips his forehead to mine. “You’re all I see, Dani.”
“Same.” I kiss his nose softly. “I have a few things to say. First, you’re not Angela’s family. You’re mine. If she wanted you, really wanted you, I’d fight her off. I’m not afraid of her. She’s not my bully anymore, and as far as I’m concerned, she can fuck right off.”
“I fucking love it when you get worked up,” he growls.
“She isn’t a threat to my relationship, but she is a threat to the happiness of that sweet little girl in there, because if Angela really wanted to, she could make things pretty miserable and scary for her.”
“Over my dead fucking body.”
“We’re on the same page there. So, no, I’m not worried about her. She was a surrogate for Birdie and nothing more. Bridger, I love Birdie so much. She and I had a really interesting talk tonight.”
“Tell me, sweetheart.” His hands are rubbing up and down my back, and he lifts one so he can drag his fingertips down my cheek. “What did she say?”
“She and I spend a lot of time together these days.” I tell him about my talk with his daughter, about her questioning if I’m her mom, and the warmth in his eyes only grows with each word. “I don’t think I could love her more if I’d given birth to her. She’s my girl, and I love her so?—”
He grips my face and kisses me, so deeply, so urgently, that it makes my toes curl. My fingers dive into his hair, and I open to him, kissing him back just as feverishly, breathing in his spicy scent.
“God, I fucking love you,” he says against my lips. “You came into our lives, and you just fit so perfectly. Of course, Birdie wants to call you her mommy because you are in every way that counts, sweetheart.”
“I know.” I feel the first tear fall on my cheek. “I love it, and it scares me.”
“Okay.” He nods, brushing away my tears. “Let’s talk about it. What scares you? ”
“You know what I come from.” The admission is a whisper. “Bridge, what if?—”
“You are not him.” He’s ferocious now, so adamant and strong. “Not one single, precious molecule of you is him. You would never hurt Birdie.”
“Of course not.” I scowl at him and shake my head. “What I mean is, I don’t know how to be a mom. Mine died when I was so young, and my dad…well. I worry that I wouldn’t be good enough for her.”
“You listen to me.” He frames my face once more, his dark eyes so intense, holding my own. “You’re more than enough, for both of us. I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been doing pretty much everything a parent does for that little girl since school started. And she fucking adores you. When you’re not here, she asks for you.”
“Just like she does you when you’re not here.”
He nods, and a smile spreads over his impossibly handsome face. “Besides, you had a mom. You had my mom, and I see so much of her in you when you’re with Birdie. I love our family, Dani. If Birdie wants to call you Mom, I have no issue with that at all because you’re ours, until the last star falls out of that sky.”
He points up, but I don’t look. Can’t look. Because his words … his words have slayed me.
“You’ve been doing pretty much everything a parent does for that little girl since school started. And she fucking adores you. I love our family, kitten. If Birdie wants to call you Mom, I have no issue with that at all because you’re ours, until the last star falls out of that sky.”
Our family. Nothing has ever sounded so wonderful .
I can’t look away from him at all.
“I love you so much, Bridger Blackwell.”
It’s been almost four months since the last time we were all at Ryan and Polly Wild’s house for the summer pool party. This time, the pool is closed for the year, and we’re all inside, in the biggest kitchen and dining room I’ve ever seen.
I needed just a minute to myself, so I walked over to the wall of glass that looks out to the mountains and the backyard, where the pool is.
So much has changed since I jumped into that godforsaken water that day. All the same people are here, but I don’t feel the same at all.
I’m bolder.
Stronger.
And so in love, I’m almost stupid with it. I knew coming home was the right thing, but I hadn’t expected to be this happy.
“Here you are,” Bee says as she links her arm with mine. “You okay, buddy?”
“Oh, yeah, I just needed a second to take a breath. Can you believe I jumped into that pool a few months ago?”
“No. It scared the shit out of all of us. Why, are you thinking of doing it again?”
“Absolutely not.” I shake my head with a laugh. “I think one swim a decade is good enough for me. I draw the line at bathtubs and showers.”
“Fair enough.” Bee sighs as she also looks outside. “The mountains are pretty today.”
“They’re pretty every day. Any sign of your mystery man?”
“Nah. He’s probably back in Scotland or England, or wherever he’s from. It’s fine. I’ve come to terms with it. I haven’t slut-shamed myself too badly over it.”
“There will be none of that.” I frown over at her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know.” She chuckles. “I’m just being funny. I wouldn’t say no to a repeat, though. A girl could get addicted to that.”
“I know.” My smile is smug, and Bee giggles.
“He’s watching you right now, you know.”
“Your brother?”
“Better be my brother, or he’ll kill someone. Of course, my brother.”
I look over my shoulder, and sure enough. My man is standing with my brother, and they’re talking about something serious, if the looks on their faces are any indication.
“I wonder what they’re talking about,” I ask Bee.
“Might be cows, might be fire, might be marriage.” She shrugs, and my eyes bulge out of my head.
“ Marriage ?”
“Sure. For all intents and purposes, Holden is your dad, babe. If Bridger wants to marry you, he needs to talk to your brother. ”
I hadn’t even thought about marriage. I mean, sure, someday, but it wasn’t really on my radar.
And we don’t know that that’s what they’re talking about now, so I need to cool my jets.
Just as we’re wrapping up, ready to head out, Bridger and Chase both get phone calls at the same time.
“We’ve gotta go, sweetheart,” Bridger says to me just as Chase looks up and nods to Summer. “I have to go to work.”
“What?” I frown up at him. “Why?”
“Because the goddamn ski resort is on fire.”