37. Hudson
Chapter Thirty-Seven
HUDSON
A week later
Parker studied me, his gaze too perceptive for my comfort. I shifted my shoulders and drained the small bottle of water in my hand.
“What’s up?” I finally asked when I tossed the empty bottle into the recycle bin a few feet away. We were in the kitchen at the fire station.
“You dumped her, didn’t you?”
“What?” I knew my face gave me away because he caught me off guard. “We were never serious,” I added hurriedly.
All the while, my heart literally ached. It felt as if someone had punched it hard enough to leave it bruised and battered.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt her.” His eyes were narrowed and his tone low.
“She’s the one who called it off!” I knew I was defensive, but at least that detail was true. I wasn’t about to tell Parker the entire truth.
“Is that what she’s gonna tell me?” he asked with a skeptical brow raised.
Just then, Griffin came walking in. He fetched one of the electrolyte drinks out of the fridge, calling over, “Does anybody else need one?”
“I’ll take one,” Beck said as he approached and plunked down in a chair across from me. Next thing I knew, Jonah had joined us, along with Leo.
“What is this? A freaking meeting?” I muttered under my breath.
“Why is Parker glaring at you? I thought you guys were old friends,” Beck commented.
“We were, until he dumped Stella,” Parker replied.
“Oh, my God, she dumped me,” I countered.
“Well, now that’s fucking awkward. Aren’t you renting at that duplex together?” Griffin interjected.
I rested my elbows on the table, dropping my face into my hands with a sigh. When I lifted my head, Leo caught my eyes, his gaze sympathetic and amused. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he offered.
“Romance drama,” Cade commented as he sat down at the table and slid the bottles of juice to the center of the table.
Parker still didn’t look pleased, but at least he didn’t look like he wanted to beat my face in anymore.
Griffin looked between us. “You can’t let shit like this be a problem,” he pointed out.
“It won’t,” I said quickly. “You don’t need to worry about that on my end.”
I left the station that afternoon feeling disgruntled and dreading going home. The worst part of all of it was I missed Stella. I missed looking forward to seeing her, to laughing about the cats, I missed being tangled up in the darkness with her and waking up to her scent.
Her details were imprinted on my senses, the way she smelled a little tart, like the burst of flavor from a fresh berry, the way her skin was soft and warm, the way her big brown eyes widened right before she climaxed. The way her nose wrinkled a little bit when she was thinking. The sound of her fingers tapping on the table when she was studying.
When my phone rang and my dad announced he was passing through Willow Brook for the evening, I was relieved. My dad was a great distraction. I told him to meet me at Firehouse Café.
“Hey, hey!” My dad pulled me into a back-slapping hug. He felt a little frail, thinner than he used to be.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, smiling as I stepped back.
This version of my dad was someone I was still getting used to. Even though most of the reason I had made disastrous decisions when I was in high school stemmed from him, my dad had always been a loving guy, if more than a little misguided.
His smile was warm and his eyes were clear. His girlfriend, or the love of his life as he described her, was standing beside him. She smiled. They kind of matched. She had that whole peace and love vibe going, which my dad had always had, minus the drug dealing.
“Hudson!” She smiled warmly, leaning over and dusting a kiss on my cheek.
“Hey there, Laura. Good to see you.”
“I’m kind of hungry,” my dad said. “How’s the food here?” he asked as we approached the counter.
Casey was waiting and glanced up, a smile stretching across her face. “The food here is great.”
My dad grinned. “Excellent!”
“She speaks the truth, Dad,” I replied just as Janet came walking through the swinging door from the back.
“Are you Hudson’s father?” Janet's voice lilted up.
“I sure am. We’re just passing through. Well actually, we’re in Anchorage, but I came out here to see my boy.” My dad beamed. I could’ve sworn there were tears in his eyes when he looked my way. “He’s a firefighter, did you know that?”
Maybe Janet didn’t know our whole history, but I could tell she sussed out the overall picture, that my dad had been there and done that and was deeply proud of me now. She cocked her head to the side, her eyes twinkling. “He isn’t just a firefighter, he’s a wildlands hotshot firefighter, the toughest ones in the world. You should be proud of him.”
I thought my dad’s face might crack wide open with his smile. “I am.”
We got sandwiches and coffee, and Janet joined us for a little while. It was really good to see my dad. Despite the chaos of my childhood, he’d been making a clear effort to turn the ship around. I’d never doubted his love for me. To have him finally sort of stable was refreshing. He was sober and religiously attended Narcotics Anonymous meetings, even planning to attend a meeting when they got back to the hotel in Anchorage tonight.
A while later, I hugged him and Laura goodbye. On my way out, Janet was looping around the café with a tray as she collected dishes and tidied tables. She caught my eye and beckoned me over.
“What is it?” I asked when I stopped at her side.
“Your dad sure loves you.”
My throat felt thick and my eyes pricked with tears. “He does. I love him.”
She squeezed my elbow affectionately. “How are you and Stella?”
I opened my mouth to reply before snapping it shut. I realized I might be about to burst into tears if I tried to talk about my own idiocy.
Her smile faded. “What is it? Did you break that girl’s heart? I don’t believe you did.”
I cleared my throat up, dredging up some composure. “I hope I didn’t.” A sigh slipped out. “I don’t know how to explain it,” I finally added.
Janet tipped her head to the side and studied me for a few beats. “I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll say this. If it’s worth it, you’ll stumble through and come out on your feet with her.”
When I got home that night, the door up to Stella’s apartment was closed and the kitchen was dark. I tried to have faith in Janet’s words.