23. Rosalie
TWENTY-THREE
ROSALIE
I spent three days in complete silence. I didn’t leave my room. I didn’t speak to the guys despite their efforts. I didn’t bother with classes. And Anson didn’t speak to me. Not knowing what had gone down in the kitchen made my fear grow with each unanswered text I sent him.
The guys left food outside my door for me, but I barely touched it. Instead, I dove into my music and wrote my heart out between fits of anger and tears.
On the third night, my door cracked open, my lock be damned, and soft footsteps sounded out as they approached my bed.
“Rosebud?” Cole’s voice trembled.
I opened my eyes to stare up at him with no shirt on and his pajama bottoms hanging low. He sounded so broken. So scared.
It made my heart hurt. Even though I was angry at him, I couldn’t help but want to haul him into my arms and hold him tightly while whispering to him that everything would be OK.
Maybe it was a lie because it didn’t feel OK.
“Can I lie with you?” Cole asked, his voice holding a note of worry in it.
I slid over for him, and he crawled into bed. He wrapped his arms around me before he buried his face in my neck and sobbed softly, his body shaking.
That was it. My heart shattered.
I hugged him back, making his tears come harder.
With my fingers in his soft blond hair, I raked them against his scalp tenderly, trying to comfort him.
“I don’t deserve you,” he choked out softly. “None of us do.”
“It’s OK,” I murmured. “We’re all making mistakes.”
“I made a huge one, baby. I said something I shouldn’t have said. Something I didn’t mean.” He wept softly. “I never want to hurt you, and I definitely don’t want to hurt the guys. You all are all I have for a family.” His hold on me tightened as he cried a little harder.
“Cole, maybe I’ve overreacted?—”
“Shh.” He looked at me through tear-soaked eyes and pressed a finger to my lips. “No. Don’t apologize for that. We deserved it. We’ve been making choices for you that we shouldn’t have. A-and I’ve said something which may have just finished tearing us apart.”
“What did you say?”
He sat up and wiped his eyes, then put his back to me. I watched as he stared down at his lap.
“We argued that day. I-I told Fox it’s his fault we lost our Blossom. His choices with Juliet led to everything that happened, and it’s why we lost the baby,” his voice cracked as my breath caught. “I blamed him for our Blossom’s death."
He turned to look at me. “Baby, I fucked up. I didn’t mean it. I was angry about Anson a-and everything?—”
“Cole,” I whispered, my heart breaking. I’d been locked in my room, ignoring them when they needed me to get through this mess.
“And now he’s gone. Fox. He left that day and hasn’t come back.
He’s not returning our calls and texts. At least not mine and Enzo’s.
He did message E and told him he’s OK. I don’t know what to do.
I’m losing everyone I love. I-I can’t do it.
I’m not strong enough for that. I thought maybe I was, but fuck, baby. Please. Help me . I need to fix this.”
I sat up and grabbed my phone before hitting Call on Fox’s name.
Glancing at my bedside clock, I saw it read just after one in the morning.
I hadn’t spoken to any of them to even know Fox had left, and he certainly hadn’t reached out to me, but he knew I wanted to be alone, so I supposed that made sense.
“Rosie,” Fox’s deep voice greeted me on the sixth ring. “Baby, is everything OK?”
“Where are you?” I asked thickly. “Cole said you’ve left.”
“I’m at a hotel near the campus.”
“Come home,” I whispered. “Please.”
He was quiet for a moment, the fear in my heart ramping up.
“Cole with you?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, OK? We’ll go out and spend some time together?—”
“Foxy, you’re scaring me. Aren’t you going to come home?”
Cole’s blue eyes widened before he got to his feet and paced the room, tugging at his hair and breathing hard.
“I-I… Rosie, baby, you know I love you so much. I think I need some time away right now. Things got a little heated, and I think it’s best if we cool off.”
“You can cool off here,” I said, my voice wavering.
“Come stay with me,” he murmured. “Just me and you for the week. We can talk. Can you do that? For-for us?”
I closed my eyes briefly before opening them. “OK. I will.”
“I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out. I thought it best if we all just relaxed for a bit. E told me you were upset, so I let you be. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I shouldn’t be so childish?—”
“It’s not childish to get angry and need space to think,” he broke in. “I’d rather you be quiet and have time to think than make a rash decision. OK?”
“OK,” I whispered.
“I love you so much, Rosie. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I’m not coming in, so just come outside and meet me.”
“Fox.” I licked my lips. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. Everything will be OK. I promise.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled.
“Believe me.”
“I believe you,” I said, hoping he could keep that promise.
“Sleep, my love. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He ended the call, and I sat staring at the phone in my hand, my chest tight.
“Is he coming home?” Cole demanded, stopping his pacing to come and stand in front of me.
I shook my head, the first tear falling.
Cole went to his knees in front of me and put his head in my lap, his body shaking as he cried softly.
“I’m sorry, Rosebud. I’m so sorry I did this. I-I?—”
I lifted his face and stared into his eyes. “It’s going to be OK. Fox said it would. He just needs some space.”
He nodded, the tears dampening his cheeks. “I didn’t mean it. None of it. I was upset?—”
“I know. I know you didn’t. It’ll be OK.”
“Promise?”
I nodded, really hoping it would be.
“I’m going to leave in the morning and stay with him.”
Cole’s eyes widened. “What? No! Y-you can’t leave, too. Fuck.” He fell onto his ass and twisted his fingers into his hair. “You can’t fucking go.”
“It’s just for a few days.”
“Why? Why do you need to go?” he pleaded, staring up at me from his spot on the floor.
“Because he asked me to,” I said gently. “He wants to talk.”
“Don’t let him leave us.” Cole was back up and clinging to my hands. “You make him stay. If he leaves us, our family is broken?—”
“He won’t leave us. He promised me,” I said fiercely. “He promised, Cole. Fox always keeps his promises. OK?”
He stared back at me with wavering eyes before he visibly swallowed and gave me a tight nod. “OK.”
I didn’t like to see my tough horsemen so sad and vulnerable. In fact, I hated it. All I knew was that everything was falling apart, and I was doing all I could to hold onto the pieces.
“Come to bed,” I said gently, tugging him forward.
He came without a fight and curled up against my body, his head on my chest and his hand low on my belly.
“You won’t leave, right?” he whispered. “You’ll come back?”
“I’ll come back.”
“Promise, Rosebud?”
“Promise.”
“We still need to make our garden. We will, right?”
“We will.” I raked my fingers through his hair, so much worry in my body that it made me sick.
“I’ll be better. I swear I will be. I know I haven’t proven that much to you, but I will.
I fucking swear I will.” He pushed my nightgown up before pressing his soft, warm lips to my abdomen.
“For our babies. Our family. Fuck. Please, Rosebud . I’m begging you.
” He wept softly, his big body shaking against me.
I knew how much having a family meant to Cole. He based a big portion of our relationship around his love for me and the prospect of creating his own family. I’d made a promise to him, which I intended to keep.
I just prayed it was something I could still do.
All I knew was that without Fox, we weren’t anything.
He needed to come home.