28. Cole
TWENTY-EIGHT
COLE
T wo weeks.
Two fucking weeks since I’d said words I hadn’t meant.
It was killing me, and I was too embarrassed by my actions and sick to my stomach to do anything to fix it.
Fox was home, but he avoided me. I avoided him.
E was back in the basement. The only bright patch was that Rosalie was talking to us again, and she and Enzo had been awfully cozy since she’d kicked his ass.
In fact, they’d left earlier in the day to go out together to do wedding stuff, leaving me alone with the guys. Like always, E was in the basement.
Deciding I should try to eat something, I wandered into the kitchen to find Fox sitting at the island, eating a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
He glanced over at me as I walked to the fridge and pulled it open to find it was nearly empty.
I hated grocery shopping and always avoided doing it.
I guess I’d been avoiding it for too long at this point.
Grocery shopping seemed like a good idea if it meant I could get the fuck out of the kitchen and away from Fox and my regrets.
Sighing, I closed the doors to the fridge and glanced at the pan of leftover macaroni and cheese still on the stove.
“Eat,” Fox muttered. “I made extra.”
I hesitated for a moment before going to the watery mess. Fox wasn’t a good cook, but I was so hungry I’d eat the asshole out of a dead deer if it meant I could get something in my gut.
Carefully, I scooped some of the soupy macaroni and cheese into a bowl, then sat across from him and ate.
Neither of us said a word. I couldn’t stand it. It was eating at me.
We both finished, and Fox got up. He went to the sink and washed his bowl before putting it into the drainboard. I watched him make to leave before I decided I had to do something.
“Hey, Fox,” I blurted out.
He stopped and turned to me, his blue eyes rimmed in red. He was completely exhausted. That much was certain. So was I. Enough was enough. I needed to make this right.
I stumbled to my feet and went around the island to him.
“About the other day?—”
He held his hand up to silence me.
“Cole, it’s over. It doesn’t matter, OK?”
“It does matter. I was out of line. I-I…” My voice trailed off.
“You were right.”
“What?” I widened my eyes at him. “I wasn’t right. I was so fucking wrong, it’s disgusting.”
Fox sighed, then returned to the island and sat down. I took the stool beside him and waited for him to explain himself.
“It is my fault. I wasn’t a great leader.
I made bad decisions, which ended up with things fucked up.
Had I not given in to Juliet initially, Rosalie wouldn’t have gotten involved with Ian.
Maybe he wouldn’t have snapped the way he did.
E and Rosie wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Blossom wouldn’t have been hurt.
” He looked down at his hands. “You just said everything I’ve been thinking for the past year.
There isn’t a day that’s gone by where I haven’t thought about it and blamed myself.
And it’s not only Blossom.” He twirled the ring on his thumb.
I swallowed hard and twirled my ring, too. Blossom.
“It’s E, also. He’s fucked up more now. Nightmares.
More trauma. Rosalie has that trauma, too.
Hell, we all do. It all stems from my bad fucking decision.
I just… I loved her so much that I was willing to do anything as a means to save her.
And look what happened. I took more lives than I saved.
I owe you an apology, Cole. I’m sorry, brother.
So fucking sorry.” He wiped quickly at his eyes.
Fucking hell.
I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He sobbed softly and clung to me. That was it. I was done. I cried with him, both of us blubbering about how sorry we were.
“It’s not your fault, man. It’s not. I was out of line. I didn’t mean any of it. It was just shit and bad luck. You didn’t know any of it would happen,” I sobbed.
“It doesn’t matter.” Fox wept back. “I blame myself.”
“I don’t blame you, Foxy. I don’t, man. I just fucking hate Anson.
I’m trying hard to deal with it. I know my hatred has ruined Rosebud’s friendship with him.
He’s gone because I was being an asshole.
Everything is on me. I let my anger come through because I was scared I was also losing you to that prick.
I’m sorry, man. I’m so fucking sorry.” We clung to one another harder.
Warm arms circled us.
“Why are we crying?” E asked, sniffling with us as he held tight.
“Because we’re fucking idiots,” Fox answered.
“We really are.” E tightened his hold on us. “We keep falling into the same old rut, don’t we? Same mistakes. Different days. When will we learn?”
I chuckled sadly. He was right.
Fox released me, and E backed away and wiped at his eyes.
“Let’s make this right,” I said, looking from E to Fox. “For our Rosalie. Let’s give her a good night and hope it sticks. Eventually, one of them has to.”
Fox nodded, giving me a genuine smile. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll take some pictures,” E said, brightening.
I grinned at him. I hadn’t seen him with his camera in ages.
“I’ll make a cake.” I stood before wrinkling my nose. “Wait. We need groceries.”
E groaned. “Well, I guess we can pick up a few gifts for her if we go out. That would make the grocery run easier.”
“I’m in.” Fox stood. “Let’s hurry, though. Send a message to Enzo and tell him to stall.”
“I have a better idea.” I pulled my phone out and shot off a message to Enzo.
Cole: Stay away. We’re busy here. Trust me.
Enzo: Should I be concerned?
Cole: Never.
Enzo: Fine. Just don’t burn down the house. We’re going to look at cats. Talk to Fox. I’m sick of seeing you both moping around. It’s bothering Rosalie.
What the fuck? Cats? I shook my head at that but let it go.
Cole: We’re good. We talked.
Enzo: Thank fuck.
“OK. We’re good here,” I said, stuffing my phone back into my pocket.
Shit had been so bad lately that I hadn’t even tried to get laid.
In addition to barely eating, I’d not been fucking either.
I was grateful Rosalie understood my torment.
Based on E’s recent withdrawal and Fox being mopey with me, I knew Enzo was the only one getting any. At least frequently.
“We should call Anson,” E said as we walked to the front door. “Invite him over. He’s not talking to Rosalie. I think we should get that smoothed over for her and apologize if we fucked it up.”
I ground my teeth while forcing myself not to argue and spit out an insulting remark about Anson the Ass Hat.
“Cole?” Fox looked at me as I slid onto the passenger seat of his Jeep while E got into the back.
I forced a smile onto my face, knowing it was the right thing to do even if I hated that motherfucker.
“Sure. I, uh, don’t want to be the one to call. It should be you,” I said, looking at Fox.
Fox called me a wuss under his breath before pulling Anson’s name up on his phone and sending the call.
The phone rang for what seemed like forever before it must have gone to voicemail.
“Uh, hey. It’s Fox. We’re having a little celebration of sorts for Rosalie tonight.
Dinner. Movies. Maybe some karaoke. Wanted to reach out and invite you.
Say… around eight tonight? Come over if you’re not busy.
All is good here. It won’t be a problem,” Fox lowered his voice.
“I know you’ve been gone. It’s been a topic of conversation with Rosalie.
She misses you, man. We’re all sorry for the shit that happened that morning.
Let’s just put it behind us. Talk to you soon.
” He disconnected the call and started the engine.
“I think it’s shitty he’s ghosted her,” I muttered as we drove down the driveway to the road. Fox hung a right onto the street. We waved to the security personnel at the gates as we passed. “Typical Ass Hat behavior.”
“He probably thinks he’s doing what will help her. You and him don’t get along,” E said. “He took a step back. I’d say that’s pretty noble of him.”
I scoffed but didn’t push it. We’d only just gotten shit sorted with all of us. Ruining it was off the table.
“He’ll be back,” I said. “Who could stay away from Rosalie?”
Fox and E both agreed, but I could see the worry on Fox’s face. I hated that shit. It made me even more upset with Ass Hat. Not only was he torturing my Rosebud, but his absence also affected Fox.
That’s what happens when you get too close to someone outside your circle. Shit gets fucked up. I wanted to say I told them so, but I didn’t, knowing I was partly to blame. For now, we’d focus on all of us, and Ass Hat could fuck off and miss out if he was going to be a bitch about everything.
At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
Deep down, I wanted Rosalie to be happy. If it meant that asshole had to be her friend, then I supposed I could deal with it.
Maybe.
It didn’t matter. I’d cross that bridge when I got there. Tonight, I just wanted my family to be happy and with one another.
Fuck Anson Beyers.