Chapter 46 Rosalie #2
The song ended, and another didn’t play.
“Um, Levin… you lick dicks?” I asked. I had no idea he was into that.
Silence descended inside the car before Fallon and Vincent both let out peals of laughter. Dominic’s smile was visible through the mirror as he drove.
“We’re… open,” Vincent said. “In our relationship. We have fun with each other. Well, most of us.” He shot Fallon a look. “This one hasn’t caved in yet. I think I can convince him, though.”
Fallon chuckled and shook his head.
“You mean you and the horsemen never messed around? They didn’t even do it for you?” Vincent continued.
I shook my head. “No. Not really. Cole is very easygoing like that. Sometimes the guys kiss when we’re all together, but it’s never been past that.” My cheeks heated at my words.
Vincent nodded. “We were the same. Then B happened. Now I get dick whenever I want it. Right, Levin?”
Levin muttered something in German and shook his head.
“School starts soon,” Dominic called out, changing the subject. “Will you be going back to Mayfair?”
“I, um, no,” I said softly, my chest aching. “Not this semester. I need some time off. I-I heard you guys were headed to Mayfair. That’s cool. It’s a good school.”
“Shouldn’t need a college education to kill people,” Levin muttered.
“Your dad is proud that you’re going,” I said without missing a beat.
Tension blanketed the interior of the car at my words.
“How do you know that?” Vincent asked.
“Um, he told me,” I mumbled.
Levin scoffed. “He’s lying to you. That prick doesn’t give a shit what I do. In fact, he’s probably hoping I die before I start classes so he doesn’t have to pay the tuition.”
“I-I don’t think that’s true,” I murmured.
No one said anything as we pulled down the long drive to the cemetery where Fox had been buried.
Immediately, my body tensed and my breath quickened.
“Easy,” Vincent murmured, taking my hand in his. “We’re here with you, OK?”
I didn’t say anything as Dominic drove us to Fox’s gravesite. He put the car into park, and I stared out to see the garden of tombstones.
“Take your time,” Fallon said gently. “We go at your pace.”
I said nothing, opting to squeeze Vincent’s hand as I forced myself to steady my breathing. When I felt like it might be under control, Vincent opened the door for us. We got out, and they walked me slowly to the place where Fox would be forever.
They’d already put up his headstone.
His name was carved deeply into the granite, alongside his birth and death dates.
A football was etched into the stone, accompanied by some roses.
I collapsed on the freshly dug dirt and wept, his name falling from my lips.
“I love you. I love you so much, Foxy,” I choked out. “I miss you. I’m trying so hard…”
A soft sob broke free from my chest.
“We’ll give you some alone time,” Dominic said gently. “We’ll be nearby if you need us.”
I nodded and let them leave me.
I rested my forehead against the cold stone, crying softly, his name repeatedly falling from my lips.
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to live without you.
The guys are being weird. Enzo called off our wedding.
E-Ethan is struggling. He won’t let me near him.
All I want to do is hold him. Tell him how much I love him, but he just…
won’t. I’m so alone. I-I don’t think I can do this.
I want to be strong because you believe in me, but Foxy…
I don’t know how. I-I’m not strong like you were.
” I cried more. “I miss you. I love you so much.”
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there in silence, but the sun set, and a chill filled the air.
“Rosalie,” Levin called out gently.
I said nothing as he approached. A moment later, he placed his leather jacket around my shoulders and sat beside me.
“It’s hard to let go of what you love,” he murmured. “When we thought Bianca was gone, I wasn’t sure how I’d ever get through it.”
I looked over at him. “How did you?”
“Alcohol. Drugs.” He chuckled softly. “And Vinny.”
“Is that when you realized you were…”
“Yeah.” He smiled at me. “I know that maybe it’s too soon to even consider, but sometimes loving someone can make things easier. I know that everything is fucked for you right now. Enzo and Cole. Ethan. Dom told me the wedding was called off.”
I wiped at a tear.
“But hear me out. Don’t let this hold you back.
Don’t look at it as tragic. Look at it as a new path to a different life.
I didn’t know Fox well, but I’d like to think he’d tell me I’m right.
He’d want me to tell you that there is more to life than tears.
He will wait for you. But you…” He reached out and wiped my tears away gently.
“Still have an entire life to live. So do that for him. That way, when you get to see him again, you can tell him all the extraordinary things you’ve done. ”
My bottom lip trembled. “I-I don’t think I can.”
“What’s the alternative? Being miserable?”
I stared down at Fox’s stone for a moment before answering.
“I want to be with him. I-I could go with him. I could be with him.”
“Don’t,” Levin warned, taking my hand. “Don’t even think it, Rosalie.
I can tell you from firsthand experience, it doesn’t work out the way you think.
The people you hurt. The ones you leave behind.
It sucks to survive, but you have to. There’s a reason you’re here.
Don’t throw it away. I heard you sing in the car.
You’re meant for big things. Don’t let your tears drown you before you get a chance to swim. ”
I stared down at his big hand holding mine.
“You’re a lot like your dad,” I whispered.
He stiffened. “He’s a monster. I don’t know what he’s shown you, but it’s not real. Be careful, Rosalie. OK?”
I looked at him to see his handsome face blanketed in a serious expression.
“I will,” I whispered.
He wiped away another tear. “How about we get some food and take your mind off things? There’s an amazing bar I think you’d like. The food is otherworldly. Burgers. Fries. It’s good. Think you can eat for us?”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because we care,” he replied. “Our girl is gone. Getting married.” He scoffed. “It sucks. Good women change men. You’re one of the good ones. You deserve for someone to give a damn.”
“Ani is a good man. He’s going to be good for her.”
A muscle thrummed along his jaw. “It’s temporary. She’s coming home to us. She always comes home.”
“I hope she does.” I reached out and hugged him.
He seemed surprised by the move, but he wrapped his arms around me after a moment and held me tightly.
“You’re going to be OK. You’re strong. That’s one of the reasons why Fox loved you so much.”
I sobbed into his chest for a long time before my tears ran out, and he helped me to my feet. I looked past him to see Dominic, Vincent, and Fallon sitting atop tombstones, talking to one another.
“Come on,” Levin said, leading me to them.
“Hey,” Vincent greeted me. “You OK?”
“No.” I gave him a wobbly smile. “But I-I’m trying.”
“That’s all you can do,” Dominic said gently.
I exhaled.
“Let’s get some food. Unwind a bit.”
“OK.”
They led me to the car and helped me inside. We pulled out of the cemetery and rode in silence for a long time before Dominic’s phone rang and broke the silence.
Enzo’s name popped up on his display screen on the dashboard.
He handed his phone back to Vincent and said something to him in Italian that I couldn’t understand.
Vincent cleared his throat and answered the phone in Italian. I couldn’t hear what Enzo was saying, but Vincent replied in their language.
They went back and forth with one another for a few moments before Vincent hung up and spoke to Dominic in Italian. Dominic grunted but didn’t say anything else.
“It’s annoying, isn’t it?” Fallon asked. “When they do that other language shit.”
“You and Drake the dick nut do it all the time to us, you Russian ass cradle.” Levin looked over his shoulder at him.
“Bet you feel all lonely that no one speaks German, huh, fuck nose?” Fallon retorted.
“Sorry,” Vincent said. “They’re always dicks to one another.”
“They remind me of Cole and Anson, but without the violence,” I murmured.
“Don’t worry. They beat on each other enough,” Dominic said.
“Soon, they’ll be beating one another off, huh, buddy?” Vincent waggled his brows at Fallon, who sighed and rolled his eyes, a tiny smile on his lips.
I liked being with the kings. They made me forget for a moment.
I needed that.