Chapter 61 Rosalie
SIXTY-ONE
ROSALIE
Icouldn’t get myself under control. Colten offered to drug me, and I accepted, falling under the meds.
When I awoke, it was hours later.
I was still sick. Still heartbroken. I’d lost Fox. And now… the guys.
Truly, I was alone.
I had no one. Not even Anson.
I grabbed the bottle of liquor I’d taken from Enzo’s office and proceeded to drink greedily from it, slowly becoming drunk and disoriented.
I blinked through my tears after nearly finishing the bottle and stripped out of my clothes before pulling on my favorite shirt of Fox’s. In nothing but his t-shirt and my panties, I grabbed the book he wrote for me and went to his room.
I sat on the edge of his perfectly made bed, opened to a fresh blank page, and began to write everything that had happened since he’d stopped writing.
I cried during the entire thing, drunk and in such a mess of emotions.
When I got to the end, I wrote the paragraph that made everything make sense.
And so she reunited with the man she loved on that mountaintop he promised to meet her at. It just wasn’t the way it was meant to be. Sometimes the missing piece can’t be found in one lifetime, so we will wait together to get it right in the next.
I closed the book, wiped my tears, and lay back on Fox’s pillow, his ceiling spinning above me.
I could still smell his cologne. I cried softly, breathing him in, praying I’d never forget the way he smelled.
How his lips felt on mine. How strong his hands on my body were.
How no matter what, I always felt safe with him.
It took me a moment to realize the pillow felt lumpy. I reached beneath it to find one of Fox’s guns. Loaded.
With shaky hands, I fumbled with the safety, my heart pounding hard.
I could be with him again. It would only take a moment. I knew enough about the human body to know the best place to aim the gun to make it go fast.
“I-It’ll only hurt for a moment,” I whispered in a slur, lifting the gun. “F-Foxy. I’m scared.”
I closed my eyes, imagining his face. His smile. His words.
“It’ll be OK, Rosie. I’m with you. You’re my brave, strong girl.”
In my mind, he reached his hand out for me as he stood against a beautiful mountainous background.
Beautiful, lush, green trees were around him.
His old dirt bike was beside him. His blue eyes sparkled like he was on the verge of telling me the best joke.
Fox always loved the forest. The trees. The wilderness.
He said it brought him comfort. It was a quiet place where he could be alone with his thoughts, as he had many.
I exhaled, the cool metal barrel of the gun against my lips.
“Foxy,” I whispered.
It was likely that Colten and Jamie would hear the shot. I couldn’t avoid that. They knew I was hurting. My parents would break, but they’d understand. They knew what Fox meant to me.
But that was it.
I had no one else in this world.
I didn’t write any goodbye letters. No last phone calls. Nothing. Who would I even call now?
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I clutched The Missing Piece in my other hand as I parted my lips, ready to end it all.
“Rosalie,” Colten’s soft, urgent voice called out. “Fuck. Rosalie.”
I cracked my eyelids open to see him kneeling in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“Please,” he choked out. “Don’t.”
I didn’t move. I continued to hold the gun against my lips.
“It’s not worth it. I know you’re hurting, honey, but this isn’t how you make it stop. Give me the gun.”
“I’m going to see Foxy,” I whispered. “He’s waiting for me on the mountain. He said he was.”
Colten’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Please don’t do this. I care about you. You’re hurting. Let me help you.”
“I don’t need help,” I whispered. “I need Fox.”
“Honey, please. Please give me the gun. Fox wouldn’t want this.
He wants you to live a happy and fulfilling life.
I know you’re hurting and things look bleak, but it’s just the ending to one book.
You can start another book, Rosalie. Please.
I want you to start another book.” His voice cracked, and a tear worked its way down his cheek.
“You’re meant for so much more. Don’t. Please just fucking don’t. ”
“I’m alone,” I said, my voice trembling. “I miss Fox.”
“I know. I know you do. But Fox is still with you. He is. I promise you he is. He doesn’t want this. Please. Give me the gun. I’ll take you away from here. You can start a new book. That’s what Fox would want. Please. Give him his dying wish.”
My hand shook at his words. He did want me to keep going. I’d promised him I’d go.
“Come on,” Colten coaxed. “Please.”
I lowered the gun, and he was quick to take it from me. I watched him hastily unload it and toss it aside, pocketing the magazine and ensuring the bullet was free from the chamber. He placed that in his pocket as well.
He dragged me into his arms.
“Fuck, I was so scared. I thought we were going to lose you,” he choked out. “Don’t ever do that again, Rosalie. Fuck. It would kill us if we lost you.”
“Cole and the guys wouldn’t care. They left me,” I cried. “Everything is over.”
He pulled away and wiped my tears. “I promise you that it’s not over.
You’re too fucking strong to let my brother and his dipshit friends end you.
You rise. Do you hear me? You fucking get back on your feet and you take over this fucking world.
That’s what you were created to do, so do it.
Make them suffer. That’s the ultimate revenge—a good life.
Let them see you live, Rosalie. It’ll hurt more than your death. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, tears pouring down my cheeks.
“You fucking live,” he repeated. “You live loud. Scream your life so it’s in every fucking facet of their existence, and you don’t relent. Ever. I promise you that is your revenge if you’re looking for it.”
His words slammed into me, causing me to cry even harder.
“I’m taking you out of here. Grab what you want to take, and we’ll go. OK?”
I nodded, and he helped me to my feet and grabbed my book while I took a few pictures.
Fox had set up a display of us, one of his football awards, a few of his t-shirts and sweatpants, and his favorite books and laptop.
Colten put those things into one of Fox’s bags.
Once that was done, he walked with me to my bedroom, where I grabbed clothes.
He helped me quickly stuff everything into a suitcase.
I didn’t take anything Cole or the guys had ever bought me. I left it all for them to have. I wanted nothing. Not even our photos.
I stared down at my box of Blossom’s things, weeping softly.
I placed it on my bed, deciding to leave it here. Cole could keep it.
I removed all the jewelry they’d ever given me and placed it on my nightstand before unlocking my phone. All my photos and things were backed up, so I wouldn’t need my phone. It tracked me anyway, and that life was over. I’d get a new one.
I placed it next to the jewelry, leaving the background up of me and the guys I had on it.
“Ready?” Colten asked as I put Cotton inside his pet carrier. I looked around my room. I had everything I needed.
I nodded to him, and he grabbed my bags. I followed him downstairs, Cotton in one hand, and my guitar slung over my shoulder.
Colten opened the door to the outdoors, and I paused before looking back at my home one final time.
Colten was right.
It was time to start a new book.