Chapter 80 Ethan
EIGHTY
ETHAN
Cole and Enzo were out all night. It was nearly five in the morning before they came back to the high-rise. Enzo collapsed on the couch and fell asleep, while Cole went to his bedroom.
I sat in the living room, staring out at the city, wondering where my sweetheart was.
I knew Cole and Enzo had gone to look for her after she’d lost it and slashed the tires on one of the SUVs Enzo had in place for her protection.
Enzo was livid and stormed through the place, swearing after she’d turned her phone off.
Which meant he had her new number.
I swallowed hard and carefully crept forward, noting Enzo’s phone peeking out of his pocket.
With my breath held, I gently wiggled it free, him grunting as I did so.
Once I had it in my hands, I quickly tried to unlock it, but he had a code on it. I decided to try my luck and put in Rosalie’s birthday.
It clicked open, and I breathed out before glancing to make sure he was still asleep.
He was, so I opened his contacts to find her number in recent calls.
I took a picture of it with my phone, then backed out of everything and placed his phone next to him. He’d likely think it just fell out of his pocket.
Eagerly, I returned to my bedroom and stared down at my prize.
I memorized the number before I saved it in my contacts.
I knew Enzo wouldn’t have given it to me had I asked, and it was unlikely Cole had it since Cole was nuts when it came to Rosalie.
He was even worse now than he’d been when we’d been with her.
Now, he constantly hounded the men who followed her for updates.
Was she seeing anyone? Did she look happy? Where was she Wednesday night?
Enzo told us she was working, but he wouldn’t say where, just that she was. That she seemed like she was doing OK.
Then she’d called, screaming at him.
Telling him she’d stab him next.
I really believed her, but I also saw she was with someone on the screen as Enzo yelled at her. Someone big was carrying her, and she didn’t seem to hate it.
It wasn’t Anson. I knew she’d moved out of his apartment, much to Cole’s delight. He’d opened a bottle of wine when he’d heard that news.
I stared down at her number for what felt like an eternity before I glanced at the time. It was just after noon.
Swallowing, I typed out a message to her, praying she’d answer me. Fuck what Enzo and Cole said. I just needed to talk to her.
Ethan: I hope this isn’t a bad time. I was wondering if we could talk. I promise I won’t take a lot of your time. I just want to hear your voice.
I stared at the sent message for nearly half an hour, each second that ticked by making my heart ache more. I wasn’t even sure what I’d say to her if she told me yes, but fuck, I just wanted anything I could get.
Feeling let down, I got up and smoked some sugar before showering and returning to my phone.
My heart jumped into my throat when I saw an unread message notification.
With shaking hands, I opened the message to see she’d replied to me.
I’d been stalking her social media for weeks now, but she hadn’t updated anything since the photo of her and Ryder, which I didn’t believe was real for a second.
Cole and Enzo did, though. Cole nearly destroyed the hotel room over it.
Rosalie: OK.
OK? OK, what? She had a minute? She wanted to maybe meet to talk?
I thumbed out a return message as fast as I could.
Ethan: Can I meet you somewhere?
Rosalie: Will you be alone?
Ethan: Yes.
Rosalie: No one will know? No security? No one following?
Ethan: Just me. Promise.
Her next message didn’t come right away. I wiped my palms down my jeans, my anxiety running high.
Rosalie: Meet me at Brewster’s Coffee Shop on Ninth. Thirty minutes.
I was on my feet in no time and quietly rushing from the high-rise.
“Do you need us, boss?” Dmitri asked as I stepped onto the curb outside. He’d been standing there drinking coffee.
“Uh, no. I’m going for a walk. I need some air.”
He eyed me for a moment. “Do Enzo and Cole know?”
I bristled at that. “I’m not a fucking child. I don’t need an escort or permission. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“My apologies.” Dmitri gave me a curt nod before moving to the waiting SUV. I wouldn’t put it past him to report my whereabouts to Enzo the moment I was around the damn corner.
Irritated, I hailed a cab and gave him the address, really fucking hoping my leaving the house wouldn’t be an issue. Everyone watched me like they thought I was going to fucking die.
If I wanted out bad enough, there wouldn’t be fuck all anyone could do to stop me.
I rode through the city for a few minutes, annoyed about traffic, before we pulled up at Brewsters. With my hands shaking and my heart pounding, I went inside and looked for Rosalie.
I spotted her in the back, her head down.
Nervously, I approached her and stopped next to her booth, where I saw her holding a coffee.
“Hey,” I greeted her softly.
She looked up at me, no emotion on her pretty face. “Hey.”
I slid into the seat across from her, mesmerized by her beauty. She was even prettier than I remembered. Her curls were vibrant again and hung around her in waves. Longer. So fucking beautiful.
“You look… beautiful,” I finally said, unable to look away from her.
“Thank you,” she murmured. “You look nice too. New shirt?”
I looked down at the blue designer shirt I was wearing. Cole bought it for me. Said I looked like a bum in all my hoodies and t-shirts.
“Uh, yeah. It’s… too rich for my taste, but Cole…” I let my words trail off before clearing my throat. “How have you been?”
She shrugged. “I’m OK.” She looked out the window, and that’s when I noticed the mark on her neck.
I bristled, knowing exactly what it was.
Bile burned my throat at what it meant.
“W-Who’s the guy? That you’re seeing?” I asked, the words tumbling out of my mouth as I nodded to her neck. “Is it Anson?”
Her cheeks darkened. “Um, just a guy. Not Anson.”
My heart plummeted. She didn’t even try to deny it.
“A-Are you happy? With him?” I ventured, wanting to scream and tell her to come home with me. That I could change. That I could be better than any man she’s seen since we split. That I didn’t even want to break up. That I only needed time… fuck. FUCK.
“Um, yeah. He makes me laugh. I, he’s older, so it’s different.”
“Older?” I asked.
“Yeah, a few years. He works in finance.”
“It’s fast, isn’t it?” The words slipped out, and I knew the moment they were out that they were a bad idea.
She scoffed. “Fast? Not as fast as getting married and having a woman knocked up. I suppose if we’re measuring in comparison to what you and the other two assholes are up to, I’m going at a snail’s pace.”
“Rosalie, I-I’m not with Enzo and his-his wife,” I spat the words out. “I hate that fucking cunt. I would never… fuck. NEVER. I hate her. If they told me she died today, I’d go piss on her corpse before setting it on fire.”
She surveyed me for a moment before looking down at her coffee. “What did you want to talk to me about? Fox’s Jeep? I-I don’t have the heart to move it from his parking spot—”
“No,” I said thickly. “I-I wanted to see you. To hear your voice. I-I miss you so damn much. Do you… even miss me?”
She sighed. “I-I do. I did. It’s different now. I’m… free. I’m not constantly worried anymore. I can leave and be alone whenever I want. No one is lurking around a corner to kill me. It’s nice. I went dancing and danced with people. No one tried to fight.”
I nodded and swallowed. “I get it.”
“But I do think about you. Every day,” she continued softly. “But you’re gone. It’s like a fever dream when I think back to all of it.”
“Do you-Do you still love me?”
“Ethan, I will always love you,” she said, her voice shaking. “I will. I was hurt when everything happened. I’m still hurting, but I’ve lived a little since then. I’m finding my way. I hope you start to as well.”
“I want you back,” I choked out. “I-I love you. I didn’t want any of this.
I-I needed s-some time, you know? I was, I am, fucked up from everything, but I want you.
What do I need to do, baby? Tell me. I’ll do it.
” I tried to reach for her, but jerked my hands away when I was near, ugly memories of touching Celeste, of fucking her, screaming through my head.
She breathed out. “Ethan, you can’t even touch me.”
“I know.” A tear slid down my cheek. “But I will soon. I’m getting better.”
“I’m not a houseplant, you know? I’m not something pretty you sit in the window and stare at.
I’m a girl. I have feelings. I want to be loved and touched.
I-I hate being selfish, but I’ve always given things up for those I love.
I realize I need to love myself, too. That means sometimes I have to say no. ”
I nodded, her words hurting, but I understood exactly what she was saying to me. She wanted more, and I wasn’t able to give it to her.
“Do you think if I get my shit sorted that we could try again someday?”
She looked away from me and to the outside world, a sad look on her face. She’d been caged for so long with us and now had a taste of freedom. I wouldn’t lose her to another man. Not really. I’d lose her to freedom.
“Sweetheart?” I whispered, my voice shaking.
She looked back at me. “Call me when you do. We’ll talk then.”
I wiped at my fallen tears and nodded. “You’ll answer?”
“I will always answer you, Ethan.”
“Would you leave whoever you’re with for me? I-If I became ready?”
“Do you remember when we were in high school and I tried to lure you away from the guys?”
I nodded.
“Do you think you’d leave what’s left? Because I can’t go back to Enzo and Cole. Not when they’re with some other woman after Enzo cheated.”
“What if he didn’t cheat? What if…”
“She’s pregnant,” she cut in. “If it’s not Enzo’s kid, then whose? And everything adds up. He did have alone time with her. He promised to cut her off when I asked him to, but never did. Then he pulled away. All of it adds up to the truth.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I couldn’t tell her the truth because even thinking it made me freak out internally. She’d hate me like she hated Enzo and Cole. Fuck, I couldn’t let her hate me.
That was selfish of me to throw the guys under the bus, but fuck…
FUCK.
“I would leave for you,” I said. “I-I would.”
Her eyes glistened. “Ethan. I wouldn’t ask you to. That’s the point. I’m not that girl, and you’re not that guy.”
I understood what she was saying. It hit like a ton of bricks. If she knew I was happy and functioning in life, she would never ask me to leave it behind.
Like I shouldn’t ask her to leave the life she was happy in.
“Is this it?” I rasped. “Is it really the end?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I think it is for right now. Do you believe in fate?”
“I believe we make our own fate,” I replied. “If we’re strong enough.”
“Then be strong, and maybe I’ll see you again. And if I don’t…” She looked away before getting to her feet.
“Then what?” I asked, desperate to will my hand to reach for her and pull her back to me.
“Then know that I love you so much, and our time, and everything we did together, everything we went through… I will never forget. You deserve so much more in life, Ethan. Please. If you love me, then love yourself first. It’ll help you heal. Promise.”
“Rosalie,” my voice cracked. “I love you. I-I’ll prove it. I will. I’ll show you what kind of man I can be. The kind I was meant to be. And then I’ll come for you and bring you home to me. I fucking vow it.”
“Then I really do hope I see you again someday. Bye, Ethan.” She turned and walked away, leaving me to stare after her, my fucking soul dying inside.
“Please don’t be the last time I see you,” I whispered, watching her walk with her head down as she stepped onto the busy sidewalk. “Please, god. Fucking please.”