Chapter 12 Austin #2
I grabbed the back of my T-shirt and peeled it up slowly, just to be a dick.
Sweat clung to my skin, catching the sunlight as I dragged the fabric over my head and tossed it aside.
Out of the corner of my eye, Selene’s jaw went slack.
I raked my hand across my chest, pretending not to notice.
It was a slightly unfair, yet coordinated, tactic, but I didn’t care.
If she was going to keep sneaking glances, the least I could do was give her a good show.
If she wanted a peek, I’d give her a memory she could blush over later.
“Showing off again, pretty boy?” Jackson muttered, giving me a backhand to the stomach and dragging my attention again to the crew.
“Fuck you. It’s hot,” I ribbed back.
“Oh, you know what? I think you’re right.
” Ben, a grizzled man who’d worked construction all his life, started pulling at the collar of his T-shirt, exaggerating how hot he was before he started gyrating his hips.
“It is hot.” He grabbed the bottom hem of his T-shirt and started rolling it up over his protruding beer belly.
“Oh man, I’m overheating.” He pulled his shirt completely off and started swinging it around. His belly jiggled as he twirled his shirt over his head like he was headlining the worst Chippendales act in history.
Another guy from our crew took the opportunity to empty a bottle of water over Ben’s head. Collectively, we laughed. Ribbing and a little ball busting was all a part of the job.
“Are you idiots done getting naked?” Cal’s irritated voice thundered through the open doorway as he leaned in.
“I don’t know, boss,” Jackson mocked as he slowly started to unbuckle his belt. “I’m feeling so . . .” He opened the buckle. “So steamy.”
When Cal threw his hands in the air and walked away, we all dissolved into a fit of giggles like a gaggle of hens.
I watched as he trailed after Elodie and Selene, who were heading toward the small cottage at the edge of the property.
I caught Selene turning, just a flick of her head over her shoulder—but it was enough.
Our eyes met for half a heartbeat, and I swore the world narrowed to that look.
I held it. Grinned like a bastard. Then dragged my shirt on—slow as hell—just to let her watch.
I didn’t know whether she could still see it clearly, but I shot a wide grin just for her.
Later that afternoon, my back ached and my muscles screamed at me from lifting lumber overhead for the better part of the day. I glanced at my watch and used the impact driver to place one last screw into a support beam.
“Gotta go, boys.” I hung the tool on my belt and turned toward the crew.
My shirt clung to my back, damp with sweat, and the sun had baked my neck a shade darker than I meant to.
I rolled my shoulders, trying to shake the ache from a long-ass day of lifting lumber like I didn’t still have to wrangle a five-year-old.
“Everyone say goodbye to the hottest manny in Michigan,” Jackson teased.
A chorus of goodbyes and chuckles floated over me.
I shot them a middle finger over my shoulder and didn’t bother hiding my grin.
They were assholes, but they weren’t wrong.
Without bothering to respond, I packed up my gear and walked along the edge of the pumpkin patch toward the Drifted Spirit Inn.
The pumpkin patch stretched out in crooked rows, green vines curling across the dry earth, dotted with young orange orbs just beginning to swell.
In October, it’d be chaos with kids and cider and hayrides, but now it was quiet—blooming with potential.
I liked it better like this—when the world was quiet and full of possibility.
It was easier to believe in things when you saw them the way Winnie did.
I bet Winnie would pick out a weird-looking one—something misshapen or full of those wartlike bumps just because it was funky and different. It was one of my favorite things about that kid. She liked things simply because she liked them, not because they were perfect.
In fact, I was pretty certain that perfect in the eyes of that particular five-year-old was entirely too boring. Maybe that was why she liked me at all. I wasn’t shiny. I was just . . . there.
The Drifted Spirit stood like it had been pulled out of a postcard—three stories of clapboard and freshly painted trim, with flower boxes spilling over in red and yellow blooms. A wide wraparound porch circled the front, like the building had always been waiting for someone to sit a while and stay.
When I had agreed to help out Selene, Cal had suggested I save time on going home to shower before picking Winnie up on days when I couldn’t get away from the job early. Today was definitely one of those days.
As I entered the inn, I wiped my boots on the mat and tried not to look like a man who’d spent the last several hours sweating his ass off in sawdust. I stepped up to the concierge desk and drummed my fingertips on the solid oak surface.
“Afternoon, Miss Helen. Any chance I could sneak in a shower?”
Her long bony fingers clacked on the keyboard of the computer behind the desk. “The Mariner’s Room is all yours,” she said. “Fresh towels, peppermint soap, the works.”
Since Star Harbor was such an active tourist destination, the Drifted Spirit Inn was unique in that, even after guests checked out in the morning, if they planned to explore or sightsee, they could come back to the inn to rest or shower or freshen up before their drive or flight out of town.
I often used it as an opportunity to not be so rank when picking up Winnie after school.
“Thanks, Helen. You spoil me,” I teased, flashing her a grin. “Pretty soon I’ll be impossible to live with.”
“No problem,” she answered with a smile. “Though it sounds like you might be off the hook before too long.”
I stopped, craning my neck in her direction. My hand froze mid-reach for the key. “What?”
“The way I heard it, Selene had a pretty amazing childcare candidate come through today. She’s new in town.
Sweet girl. Polished and smart. Did her degree in early childhood development.
Selene said she was perfect. Dale the mailman’s niece came up from Ann Arbor to ‘find herself,’ and she found Selene instead.
After college she’s spending the summer in Star Harbor.
She was looking for work and was pointed in Selene’s direction.
” Helen shrugged as though she hadn’t just delivered a swift punch to my gut.
“If it works out, she can start shadowing next week. Seems like it works out for the both of you.”
An experienced childcare worker with a degree. Polished.
I looked down at calloused hands streaked with grime and rubbed them together. I was all rough edges and second choices. A guy you picked when your first plan fell through.
“Yeah,” I said, “that’s great news.” My voice sounded like a stranger’s.
“That’s . . . just great.” The words burned like a scraped knuckle.
I turned away before she could see how much it had hit me.
I walked back to the Mariner’s Room with the painful reminder that I was never supposed to be permanent stinging in my veins.
From my perspective, we had settled into a comfortable routine. I had hoped I was making progress with Winnie and Selene, but of course she would pick the one who makes sense.
Hell, I wouldn’t pick me either.
My afternoon with Winnie was a sad case of me going through the motions. I tried to act completely unbothered by the fact Selene was still interviewing other caretakers, but I couldn’t shake the clawing sense of dread.
Winnie had been her usual hurricane of weirdness and wonder, but I was off my game.
My jokes landed flat. My heart wasn’t in it.
I was stuck in my own damn head, and the view from there wasn’t great.
The minute Selene walked out of the carriage house to relieve me of my duties, I practically ran to my side of the duplex without a backward glance.
Selene barely looked at me when she came out the door. I got a smile and a quick “Thanks.”
I didn’t know what I expected. A thank-you parade? A promise she wasn’t replacing me? I needed to get a grip.
I was sullen and pouty, and I sure as hell didn’t like it.
I considered calling Brody to see whether he wanted to hang out or maybe even go to the Lantern for a few beers or to find some tourists to spin around the dance floor, but I couldn’t muster the energy.
Usually the thought of a cold beer and a warm body was enough to shake off a shitty mood. Tonight it all sounded hollow.
Plus, I didn’t want to have my mood shitting all over Brody’s evening either. So instead I sulked in silence perfectly in line with the gigantic baby I was acting like.
A knock at the front door caught my attention, and I glanced at the clock. I hadn’t made that many new friends since moving to Star Harbor, and anyone I did know had my cell phone number.
So who the hell would be knocking at this time of night?
I yanked open the front door with an irritated scowl. I almost barked out “What?” before I even opened it. But then I saw her—standing there in cutoffs and confidence—and every ounce of irritation drained out through my boots.
My gaze dropped before I could stop it—those shorts should’ve been illegal. My hands twitched at my sides. Selene blinked and took a tiny step backward from the force with which I’d opened the front door.
I stopped short. “Oh, hey.” I glanced toward her place. “Everything okay with Winnie?”
Selene’s slim shoulders were set straight.
She swallowed and gently cleared her throat.
“Yes, perfect.” Selene’s palms swiped down the front of her denim cutoff jeans.
“Things felt just a little awkward this afternoon, I guess.” She chuckled a little at herself.
“I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
I set my jaw. I had no intention of trauma-dumping my insecurities on Selene. “I’m fine.”
Her lips twisted and she hesitated. “Okay, so the rumor mill in Star Harbor is a strange and horrendous thing. I got wind that Helen may have told you about an interview I did today. I thought maybe because you heard about that through the grapevine and not from me, that maybe you were mad. I don’t know, it’s silly.
” She bit her lip, laughed a little too loud, then winced like she wished she could take the whole speech back.
My stance widened as I strengthened my defenses and lifted my chin. “I heard about it, but figured you’re just doing what you think is best for your kid. I told you I would help out as long as you needed me.”
Selene pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and I hated myself for imagining what those lips tasted like.
“So here’s the thing,” she continued. “I did agree to the interview, but only because Dale is an old family friend of my parents and I wanted to give his niece a fair shake. But I’ve made my decision.
Winnie needs somebody who can be there for her when I can’t be.
I need someone that wrangles in the chaos of our lives and is a partner, someone I can count on.
” As Selene rambled, she shook her head in disbelief.
Her eyes shifted to mine. “I need to have faith in the person that I let into our lives. Do you understand that?”
I nodded, and my molars ground together. I wanted to be cool. Chill. Shrug it off like it didn’t matter, but her words felt like rubbing salt in a wound I didn’t realize was still bleeding. “I understand.”
“And the thing is . . .” She blew out a huff. “That person is . . .”
Here it is. Prepare for the blow.
“You.”
The word landed like a fist to my sternum. One syllable. One second. And everything shifted. My throat tightened, and I prayed she couldn’t see it. Her voice sounded just as surprised as I felt. It took a few seconds for her words to register as I stared at her.
Selene exhaled sharply. “So now that’s cleared up, I don’t have to walk around feeling guilty all night. As long as you’re in—”
“I’m in.” I didn’t even hesitate.
“Great.” Selene’s smile bloomed and my chest ached.
She turned toward her side of the duplex before pausing and looking over her shoulder, one hand cocked on her hip. “Oh, and Austin.” Her voice was like honey poured over a blade. Her long lashes swept down, then up again. “When I decide I need help touching myself, I’ll let you know.”
Stunned, I simply stared after her.
I didn’t even get to respond. Instead, I just watched her walk away and tried not to follow her, like a dog on a leash. The door clicked shut behind her and I just stood there, shell-shocked, shirtless, and hard as hell.
Jesus Christ. I am so screwed.