5. Waverly
CHAPTER 5
WAVERLY
Fortunate:I found an old photo of me and Patrick the night we met. We were so young. Happy.
Unfortunate: I spilled a can of ginger ale on the photo and now our faces are distorted.
As much fun it was to finally get out of my apartment, being back home, I feel my shoulders relax.
I’ve been a terrible friend to Victoria. She’s tried to get me out of the house, but I refused. For the first six months, she would come by and knock, but I never let her in. I either pretended like I wasn’t home, or asleep. She knew better, because eventually, she stopped coming around.
The knawing pain in my stomach reminds me I haven’t eaten the two most important part of the food groups in a long time—fruits and veggies. That, or maybe I’ve socialized enough for one day and my body is screaming for rest. Except when I finally walk into the living room, a foul smell punches me in the face. Glancing behind me, I hope Roman didn’t follow me in, but it’s too late. His face is distorted. There’s nothing I can do but moan in embarrassment, slapping my hands to my cheeks.
“I can’t believe I let it get this bad. I let myself spiral.” I place my hand over my chest. “I don’t spiral! I have my shit together usually. I need to clean this up.” Roman grabs my shoulders and shushes me. Respectfully.
“You dealt with everything the best way you knew how. I mean, you’re still dealing with it, but you’ve reached the next stage of grief. It’s usually anger, though. So if you could kindly avoid taking it out on me, I’d appreciate it,” he jokes, winking at me. “I’m going to help you clean.”
I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I did this and it smells like a men’s locker room in here. So gross.”
“You’re in luck. I’m very familiar with the pungent aroma of men’s locker rooms.” Roman smirks with shining eyes. “The high school soccer team,” he confirms. “I’m here to stay until everything is tidy.” He starts toward the small closet that harbors all of our— my —cleaning supplies. It’s not much. Just a vacuum and a Swiffer sweeper.
I’ve never really had help cleaning the apartment. Patrick was always away, and when he was home, he was catching up with family, or relaxing on the couch, or catching up with football. Not really one to clean. I can’t complain too much. He was pretty tidy—for the most part.
Roman pulls out the vacuum and holds it up like it’s Simba in the Lion King. “Is this a Dyson V11 Cordless Stick Vacuum, size large in nickel and blue?”
I laugh. Hard. A sound that’s foreign to me. “That’s oddly specific. How do you know that?”
He gently places it on the floor. “I’ll have you know that once you own one of these, you’ve won at adulthood. I’ve been wanting one, but just haven’t gotten around to buying it.”
Still laughing, I start gathering the blankets on the couch for the laundry. “That was Patrick’s Christmas present for me.” His laugh faded into a grin, and he turned it on, drowning out any more talking we could have done.
Always a mood killer, Waverly.
Dearest Waverly,
It delights me that you are finding consolation in Roman. He seems like someone you need to have next to you at this juncture of your life. Pay no mind to him being the brother of your lost one. We seek comfort in those whom our soul seeks, not in our brain.
It’s important to not fight the ebbs and flows of life but to move with them. I know it may be hard considering how Patrick passed away, but think of yourself as water. Tao and water are synonymous. We take this magical energy for granted. Like water, if we stay still, we become stagnant; if we allow ourselves to flow, we stay pure. Water makes no plans to become rain, to freeze, to be used for hydration, but instead, it benefits by being what it is and doing what it does.
When you drink water, remind yourself to be. It will benefit you and those around you by just being who you truly are.
Take care,
Tom