38. Waverly
CHAPTER 38
WAVERLY
Fortunate:My new wardrobe has brought a new meaning to “look better, feel better.”
Unfortunate:TBD
When I was fifteen, my stepdad—a wonderful soul—gifted me a book called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Now, when he gifted books, which he often did, he would write notes in them. As I was cleaning out my bedroom last night, trying to free myself from the past, from Patrick, from the person I am no longer, I came across the book. It’s for teens, but I dove in headfirst anyway.
I found this chapter called “Be Careful That You’re Not Practicing Being Unhappy.” I didn’t even have to read the chapter for it to bury itself like an atomic bomb in the back of my brain. As humans, we are constantly having negative thoughts. And if we’re having negative thoughts, we’re allowing them to happen, which is us practicing unhappiness.
It’s time to practice happiness. It’s time to shift my focus. If I want to be with Roman, then be with Roman—if he still wants me—and I don’t have to worry about what anyone thinks, because chances are nobody gives a shit and I’m only making something out of nothing.
Not once in the past five months have I thought about continuing things with Patrick. I have thought about telling Roman it’s best we continue to go our separate ways, but I’d be lying to myself to think that’s what’s best.
I do need to talk to both of them, though.
“I’m impressed, Waverly.” Victoria swipes through all my new clothes hanging in my closet. “You managed to purge your librarian look in exchange for a Megan Fox look.” She dramatically spins around, clapping.
“Calling my new wardrobe Megan Fox-esque is a little extreme, but it’s definitely an upgrade.” I smile at the thought of the progress I’ve made. I’ve managed to eat better, workout when I can, and meditate in my free time. Single life both feels and looks good on me. Except to do those things, I don’t have to be single. With the right boyfriend or girlfriend, we should be able to do those types of things with them by our sides. Love knows no boundaries.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to Roman’s party with me?” Snagging a black dress from a hanger, I toss it on the bed. “I’m not sure why you told him you wouldn’t be there since you’re here with me now.”
“You’re about to have two very important conversations tonight. I’ll just be a distraction. I don’t want to be a distraction for you, and I don’t want to be a crutch for you.” Victoria sweeps my new lipstick across her lips and gives an approving smile in the mirror. “And I know I will be.”
I pull a dark pair of nylons up my legs before squeezing into my dress. The square neckline is accentuated by a matching Tiffany’s set I bought myself. The sterling silver bracelets all clasped together with a pearl one. I’m not all for consumerism, but I do feel it’s okay to treat yourself to nice things sometimes.
Victoria stands in front of me, her eyes raking down my body. “He’s going to eat you up.”
“I hope so.” A heat creeps over my face and down to my chest.
She steps in front of me and fixes my hair. “Waverly, promise me you’ll follow what your heart is telling you to do. Not your head.”
“You think I’d get back together with Patrick?” My eyebrows shoot to my forehead, giving her a dubious look.
Victoria releases a light laugh and shakes her head. “I think in your head, getting back together with Patick makes more sense. Technically, you still may be engaged.” Her smile falls. “You’re too kind of a person to be selfish and do what’s best for you. If that relationship taught you anything, it was to start focusing on yourself a little more.”
My face scrunches like something smells bad. “I don’t think that’s what my head’s telling me; besides, I gave him the ring back a long time ago.”
“Good. That’s a start.” Victoria starts hanging up all of the clothes on my bed. The clicking of the hangers in my closet ring in my head loudly like a clock. Like I’m running out of time.
I’m forty, not eighty.
Even if I was eighty, I need to live every day with purpose. Be present in all of those moments. Live life with the one person I can’t imagine my life without. And that person is Roman.