Chapter Twelve
Marigold
S ix days after Donner gave me the truck, I drove to his house at lunchtime, a plastic bag filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches resting on the passenger seat. The canopy of trees provided a welcome shade in the driveway as I parked. Stepping out, a stifling breeze greeted me. Sweat beaded above my lip and on my brow within seconds. This southern humidity was like living in a sauna.
Squirrels and chipmunks scurried along branches above my head as I walked toward the porch.
“Who’s there?” Donner called out after I knocked.
“Marigold.”
“Who?”
“Marigold. I’m here to buy your groceries.”
The bolt slid back and the door creaked open, revealing Donner. He stood barefoot but dressed oddly formal, as though preparing for a wedding. In his hand, he held a rifle, but then he noticed my ogling and tucked the gun inside the doorframe. “I wasn’t sure ya’d come.”
I wouldn’t tell him this was the only event on my calendar. “I keep my word,” I said, holding out the bag of sandwiches. “And I brought lunch.”
A yellowed grin spread across his face, coaxing a smile from me as well.
“Well, ain’t you somethin’ sweet. Let me fetch us some drinks and we’ll sit on the porch a spell.”
Sweat dripped down my temple. “Wouldn’t it be cooler inside?”
“You kiddin’? I don’t have no AC. The breeze on the porch’ll be nice.”
No AC in the sizzling South? I used the end of my tank top to dab at my glistening face. Donner ambled over to the Pepsi machine and returned with two drinks. He set an orange soda on the wide arm of my chair while I handed him a sandwich.
“This tastes like the jam I used to can,” he said.
I couldn’t imagine grizzled Donner canning anything. “Really? It’s from Beth Shaw, Levi’s mother.”
He nodded. “She and Duncan are— were —good people. May Duncan rest in peace.”
“Beth will be at the football game tonight. Are you coming?”
“Me? Naw. I don’t bother with sports.”
We settled into comfortable conversation. Donner asked me questions about living at the cabin, and I listened to his stories.
When we were done eating and drinking our sodas, he gave me a list and two hundred dollars. “Whatever you don’t spend is for you to keep.”
I read the list. “But this won’t cost two hundred dollars.”
“I know. Now go on now. I’ll be waitin’.”
An hour later, while I was loading the truck with Donner’s things with a giant wad of cash bulging from my pocket, I spotted a thrift store a few doors down. Locking the truck, I went inside.
The fiasco with Lillian’s dress still troubled me. I didn’t like that the things I wore reminded Levi of her. I wanted clothes of my own—clothes that reflected my own style.
The prices were generous. I filled two bags with items before checking out the shoe section. After peeking inside a box set on top of the rack, I hugged it to my chest. These would make a perfect gift for Beth Shaw.
I was hoping to sit with Ezra at the football game again, but he’d admitted via text that he wouldn’t be attending tonight’s game. Levi said that Beth had asked about me and suggested I sit with her. That was fine by me. She’d been nothing but kind the few times I’d met her.
After purchasing the items, I packed my bags into the truck and drove back to Donner’s. He was relaxing on the porch like it wasn’t a hundred degrees outside with thick humidity.
“Did you find everything?”
“Yes.” I reached into my pocket. “Are you sure you don’t want—”
“Naw, you keep it.”
There were still over fifty dollars left. Enough to help Levi buy groceries.
Donner stiffened as I embraced him. “Shuck’s, girlie, you’ll make me blush. Git on now or you’ll be late for that football game.”
It was only three-thirty in the afternoon, but I didn’t argue. I helped him unload the groceries, and then I left to wash and fold my new clothes.
The high school football stadium hummed with the buzz of a carnival, complete with the scent of popcorn and sweat. Since it was my second time attending a game, I knew where the Sutton High fans sat, where the snack stand was located, and the spot where Levi would be coaching.
Although the teams had yet to arrive on the field, his presence sent a thrill of anticipation through me. Our friendship was growing over shared pancake breakfasts and quiet sunset-gazing on the porch. I adored the thought of seeing him, spending time with him, and the idea of cheering for him at one of his hometown games.
The clatter of footsteps on metal bleachers snapped my attention to the present. The marching band was warming up in the farthest section, their lively tunes reverberating through the stands.
Scanning the crowd, I spotted Beth amidst the sea of faces. She saw me approach and stood. “Marigold, I’m delighted to see you. How has Levi been treating you? Are you well fed?”
“Your cooking is far superior, but we’re managing.”
“Bless him,” she said, and then she perked up. “I have something for you.”
The rough edges of the shoe box pressed into my arm as I clutched it close. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and motioned for her to sit. “I have a gift for you, too.”
The bleachers clanked as she perched on the edge of the metal. “You do?”
“Yes.” I offered the box to her. “I found them at the thrift store, so they’re not new, but they don’t look used.”
She lifted the lid and froze, a moment of anticipation hanging in the air.
I held my breath. Did she hate them? After seeing her glass collection, I thought for sure she’d enjoy these.
“Dear, they’re beautiful.”
“Really?”
She pulled out a turquoise rain boot adorned with rooster print. “Yes. Perfect. But, Dear, you shouldn’t have. We’re the ones who should be taking care of you.”
I shrugged. “It was nothing.”
Beth snapped the cardboard lid back onto the box and then rummaged in her purse. “I thought you might enjoy wearing this,” she said, placing a piece of cloth into my hand.
Unfolding it, I found a green and gold jersey bearing the number forty-eight and the name Shaw embroidered on the back. “Was this Levi’s?”
“Yes. It’s his high school jersey. I think he’d like you to wear it.”
“You do?” This was personal. I wasn’t sure if Levi would appreciate me stepping into his private life. Yet we’d shared our most painful secrets. His losses and my memory. What could be more personal than that? But still . . .
“He’ll light up like the sun when he sees you wearing it.”
Not wanting to disappoint Beth, I shrugged the jersey over my T-shirt and spun in a circle. “What do you think?”
She clapped. “You look like the coach’s girlfriend.”
I stopped spinning.
Beth’s hand slipped over her lips. “I’m sorry, dear. I didn’t mean to imply.”
“It’s okay,” I said. Did people assume Levi and I were dating? It might appear that way to the casual observer. Had he mentioned something to his mom?
Beth pointed at the field and said, “Here comes the team.”
I searched for Levi as the fans applauded. He strolled onto the field, a ball cap hugging his ears and a clipboard tucked beneath his arm. He talked to another coach and then turned to the boys. His team.
As the announcer presented the starting lineup, the melody of “The Star-Spangled Banner” filled the air, accompanied by a teenage girl’s powerful rendition that seemed to silence the world. Chills crept over my arms when she held the notes to the word free . The stadium went quiet before bursting into raucous applause.
This was small-town American football in all its glory. The community ties, the family, the patriotism, and the young men competing felt like a long-lost memory. A part of my past I wanted to capture like a lightning bug and keep in a jar.
An hour and a half later, the buzzer sounded, and the bleachers erupted in fanfare.
The team won.
I watched Levi from across the field, his demeanor composed yet radiating unmistakable excitement, even from yards away. The boys galloped toward him with triumphant fist pumps and beaming smiles. He reined them in and then lined them up for the handshakes.
“Are you going out there?” Beth cradled the box under her arm as she motioned toward the revelry on the other side of the fence.
“Am I allowed?”
As I spoke, someone pushed the gates open, and friends and family streamed onto the field.
She shooed me forward. “Go see how the coach likes his jersey.”
I wasn’t certain Levi would react the way Beth hoped. “Thanks for letting me sit with you.”
“Don’t be a stranger.” She held up the box. “And thank you for the gift. I will cherish these.”
She disappeared as the crowd dragged me beneath the stadium lights like a fish carried downstream. The track felt squishy under my sandals, teasing my toes as they touched the grass.
Sweaty players beamed. Parents congratulated their boys. High school sweethearts clung to each other, their eyes filled with adoration and their limbs awkwardly entwined.
The throng was so thick that I couldn’t find him. Swirling, I scanned the people, searching through faces, heights, and clothing colors until a surge of teenagers parted near the exit, revealing him. His Sutton High T-shirt hugged his torso. A day’s worth of stubble scuffed his jaw, and his lips widened as he shook a parent’s hand.
I maneuvered around the teenagers and waved, trying to get his attention. He froze when he saw me. Uncertain, I stopped. Beth must be wrong. He hated seeing me in his jersey. With my luck, Lillian wore this scrap of cloth too.
He closed the distance between us, his hand hovering over my shoulder. “Where did you—” He stopped. “Momma.”
Fingering the fringe, I said, “I hope you’re not upset that she gave it to me.”
He rested a hand on my back, tracing the lines of his number, causing goosebumps to skitter across my body. His touch was gentle. Loving.
“Upset? No. I think you should keep it. Wear it to every game. It looks better on you than it ever did on me.”
The airy cloth suddenly felt like a weighty promise. Of what? I wasn’t sure.
“Coach! Coach! Coach!” A chant rose around us. I stepped back, and Levi ducked his head. If he’d kept his gaze upward, he would have seen the teenager running toward him with a green water bottle. Instead, he was surprised when the clear liquid splashed over him, causing everyone in sight to cheer.
He swiped off his hat, searching for the boy. Laughing, he lurched and snatched the bottle away.
“Trevor, we won one game, not the championship.”
Trevor laughed and then disappeared into the crowd.
Levi shook his head like a dog after a bath. “Teenagers,” he muttered, but he said it with a grin. Some of his boys loped toward the locker room. “I should go. Meet you at home?”
The moment begged for a hug or a peck on the cheek, something to mark the goodbye. Instead, Levi gave me a short wave and then ran toward the school.
Confused, I fished my keys from my pocket and meandered to Donner’s truck, taking in the sights and sounds as I went.
The mountain seemed quiet until I noticed all the little details. Relaxing on the deck that overlooked the valley, I heard the slap of leaves against bark, the skittering of animal feet, and the hoot of an owl. The night played a song all its own, and I loved it.
The darkness wasn’t threatening anymore. I wasn’t afraid that a bear or a wolf might chase me.
An engine neared, grew closer, and stopped on the front side of the cabin. The door opened and closed before the twinkle lights above sparked on. I blinked against the sudden brightness.
We found the bulbs in the basement the day after discovering Finn. Levi strung them around the canopy for extra nighttime ambiance.
He slid the sliding glass door open and asked, “Why are you sitting in the dark?”
“I’m enjoying the night.”
The wicker furniture groaned as he sat beside me. His arm rested over my shoulders. Comfortable.
He ran his fingers over the jersey but stopped when his gaze landed on the item resting against the bench. My arm wrapped around its neck. “You brought my guitar outside?”
“I want to hear you play.”
Sensing a shift in our relationship, I was reminded of the missing lyrics and how I wanted to help him find his voice.
He untangled himself from me and accepted the instrument.
Closing my eyes, I settled against the cushion and breathed in the sound of his melody. Life was meant to be lived with a soundtrack. I wished this was mine. What did his voice sound like? Why wouldn’t he sing for me?
My thoughts were stuck in a loop.
Waking. No memories. Levi. Ezra.
The most haunting memory replayed in my mind.
Levi falling backward off a cliff. My heart pounding, realizing I couldn’t save him.
Why did I have this terror living inside my head?
Ever since the night I met Levi, I’d felt an invisible magnetic pull toward him, almost like we were connected in some way. I assumed it was because he was the first person I spoke to after my head injury. But what if there was more to it?
“Do you know something about me?” I asked.
The chords faltered before falling back into place. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
Why did he hesitate? “I can’t get the image of you dying out of my head. It feels like we’re connected. Do you feel it, too, or am I crazy?”
His fingers stopped moving. “I’m sure that wasn’t me. It was my dad.”
“But why would I have a memory of your father in my brain?”
“Coincidence. It was big news a few years ago.”
“But I’m not from around here. How would I have heard about it?”
He picked at the guitar strings. “Am I not enough?”
The question stunned me. “What do you mean?”
He set the guitar aside and faced me fully, taking my hands in his. “If your memories haven’t returned yet, maybe they won’t. Can I—or, can we . . . ” he gestured to Finn sleeping on a pillow in the glow of the strung lights. “Can we be enough for you? Can we be the start of a new life you build with new memories?”
I tugged my hands away from his. “It’s not that simple. I need to know who I am and where I’m from.” Jackson had to have the answers because Levi could be right. The hard truth was, I may never get my memories back.
The thought made me restless. I stood and walked to the railing, knees shaking.
Levi followed and then leaned his elbows against the weathered wood.
“I need to remember,” I whispered.
Silence stretched between us as lights twinkled in the valley below.
“Would you like to play?”
My face scrunched in confusion. “Play what?”
“The guitar.” He led me back to the bench. “I’ll teach you.”
“What?”
“Let’s think about the hard stuff another night, okay? The boys just won, and you look beautiful in my jersey. Let’s enjoy the evening. I’ll teach you to play the guitar.”
Thankful to have relief from my overworked mind, I accepted Levi’s invitation. We sat side by side as he hefted the instrument into my lap. His chest warmed my back as he stretched his arm behind me, showing me how to hold the guitar.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Was that my heart or his?
My skin felt like it was melting where he touched me.
“Now you try,” he said, but he didn’t move away. His breath warmed my shoulder as I went through the motions with my hands.
“Good. Now play around with it.”
Levi’s weight shifted as a gap of distance opened between us. He guided my left hand with his and used his other to trace the numbers on my back.
An hour later, I was no closer to being a guitarist, but I also wasn’t thinking about the pain of my memory loss anymore. Instead, all I could think about was Levi, his closeness, and how this moment was the perfect ending to the night.