Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Harrison
“You promised you wouldn’t get mad,” I say.
Delaney and I have been standing in silence near her driver’s door for a solid minute. Until you’re waiting for someone to speak, sixty seconds doesn’t sound that long. But… it is.
Finally, she moves. She doesn’t speak, but at least she’s walking—actually more like stalking—around the car.
I watch her eyes land on each tire as she makes a full trip around the vehicle.
I can’t read her expression—it’s impassive.
However, when she makes it back to where I’m standing, I notice her nostrils flare, and her hands shake.
“Delaney–”
“I need a minute. Please.” The words come out just above a whisper, and her tone tells me not to push.
I say nothing, but I nod at her, then I watch helplessly as she walks about 30 feet from where we’re standing and sits down on the curb in front of a parking spot.
She tilts her body away from me, and I can’t see her face.
I worry that she's angry. In fairness, I probably overstepped. But it was within my power to help her, and I’m certainly not going to stand by and watch her struggle if I can take some of the stress off her.
It takes nearly all my self-control to stand in the same spot she left me instead of following her, and I can’t tear my eyes from her.
When I think I see her shoulders heave and then she lifts her right hand up to her face and moves her arm in a way that looks suspiciously like she’s wiping tears, I can’t wait any longer.
I hurry over to her, and when I’m about six feet away, I stop.
“Delaney? Are you all right?” She doesn’t answer verbally, but she nods, so at least that’s something.
Being sure to give her a wide berth, I make my way around to the front of her and squat so that I’m almost at her eye level.
“Hey,” I squeak. I’m suddenly parched. “Is it okay if I sit next to you?” She peers up at me from under long, dark eyelashes, and her eyes speak of intense emotions, yet I’m not sure what exactly they’re saying. I don’t think she’s mad, but I wish I knew what she is feeling right now.
“Yeah. Sure,” she says. She’s so quiet, almost subdued, and that worries me more than if she were outright mad at me. I scoot over so that I’m sitting on the curb with my body angled toward hers.
I give her a few seconds without speaking in case she wants to say something first. Just when I think she won’t, she speaks.
“You can’t just go around buying people new tires.
” There’s no fire in her words, but she sounds tired, and it strikes me that it’s not the first time I’ve heard fatigue in her voice.
It never stays long; she always puts a sunshiny disposition back front and center quickly, but I recognize her worn-out voice, and I’m sad that it’s there at all.
I also wonder if maybe that happiness is really a mask to hide pain she doesn’t want to talk about.
She pivots her head and stares off toward the woods a few hundred yards in front of us.
“Tell me what you’re feeling, please.” I’ll beg her if I have to, but I really hope she wants to open up to me.
When she looks at me again, it strikes me that she’s beautiful even when she’s down. The urge to tell her is strong, but even I know it’s not the right time.
“I’m frustrated, but probably not for the reasons you think. And I’m so embarrassed.” She turns her gaze downward.
The center of my gut clenches when I hear her words.
The first emotion—frustration—I understand.
I didn’t expect the latter, and it pains me.
Without thinking about it, I reach out and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, then I place my thumb under her chin and am careful to be gentle as I lift her head until our eyes meet.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Help me understand where that’s coming from.”
She doesn’t speak right away but looks up into the sky as if the answers she seeks are there.
It draws my attention to the fact that the Ohio summer sun is already heating our surroundings despite the early hour.
On these midsummer days, it’s often almost unbearably hot even before the clock strikes noon.
“How can you say I have nothing to be embarrassed about? You’re one of my bosses, Harrison, and I had sex with you last night. Then this morning you gave me a place to live, and you’ve had all four of my tires replaced.”
My annoyance level skyrockets. Does she really assume I did this because we slept together?
“I need to make one thing very clear to you. This,”—I use my hands to gesture back and forth between us—“was there well before I was your boss, and if you feel for me even the tiniest amount of what I do for you, there’s little we could do to fight it.
Our having sex has nothing to do with my asking you to stay at the cabin or helping with the tire situation.
In fact, I arranged the tires while you were still in the guest room last night.
The cabin is a fortunate coincidence—a win-win.
You’re helping us, and it allows you more time to find a place where you want to live.
And really, the tires are no big deal; it’s just something I could—”
“No big deal? Do you even know how much that costs, Harrison? Add in that you somehow got them done on a Friday night while the rest of the world was sleeping, and I’m sure you paid a premium for that.
It is a big deal. So you know, I’ve looked into replacing the tires.
I wasn’t being irresponsible. I knew they weren’t in great shape, but I also have to—” She abruptly closes her eyes and mouth.
When she opens them again, she doesn’t meet my gaze.
“Never mind, that’s neither here nor there. ”
I inch closer to her, take her hand that rests on the concrete, and hold it in mine.
“I promise you it wasn’t an exorbitant expense. Someone owed me a favor, and I called it in; that’s all.”
The expression she wears makes it clear she’ll need more information than I’ve given to accept the help. I sigh but offer her a small smile.
“I did some free legal work for a guy over in Meadow Creek—estate stuff—and since he’s gotten back on his feet, he’s been trying to pay me back. But I didn’t do it for money. I-I just wanted to help him.”
Talking about this makes me think about what compelled me to help Trevor. It was because I knew what it’s like to sort through estate legal issues. I did it for my mom when Dad died. It was hard, but it was the least I could do for the family. I push the memories to the back of my brain.
“Anyway, he owns an automotive repair service now and also sells tires. He’s offered to outfit my vehicle with a quality set of tires more than a few times.”
“And you’ve never taken him up on it before?”
“No, I’ve never needed to. But last night I wanted to help you, and I knew you would never let me if I suggested it.
So yeah, maybe it’s misogynistic that I had Trevor come put new tires on while we slept.
Well, we weren’t really sleeping, most likely.
” I smile at her, hoping she’ll find humor in my attempt at a joke and that it will lighten the mood.
She doesn’t acknowledge the reminder of our time together.
“I don’t like needing help from people. It’s best to handle things on my own.”
“Well, I enjoy watching out for people who are important to me when I can. I don’t have a lot to offer otherwise.”
Delaney jerks her head back, narrows her eyes at me, and her jaw drops.
“Harrison, that’s not true. You bring so much to the table. The woman you end up with will be lucky to have you.”
Now I’m the one who looks away, looking back at the cabin.
“I’m not trying to be self-deprecating, but I’m probably the least jovial and approachable of all my brothers. Well, Hayden’s giving me a run for my money lately, I guess. I’m saying, I’m probably not most people’s first choice between the five—”
“You’re my first choice.” My head spins to look at her, and her cheeks are bright red now. “Seriously, Harrison, I mean it. I’ve met all of you except Heath, and I like them, but you’re the one I want to spend time with.”
“Thanks, Bets. I’m glad because I really want to spend time with you, too.” I smile at her, and when the corners of her mouth lift upwards, my anxiety over her reaction eases a little.
Her gaze fixes on mine, and her face falls. “I need to pay you back for the tires, but is it okay if I do installments?” Her cheeks flame scarlet.
“There’s nothing to pay back. He didn’t charge me. I promise you.” I squeeze her hand.
“Still, you used up your favor. What if you need it?”
I say nothing but rise and then offer a hand to help her up. She allows it, and when we’re face to face, I place my hands on her hips so she’ll not hurry to walk away.
“If I need something, I’ll get it, Bets. It’s not an issue. I swear it. Please let me do this for you, and I promise I’ll talk to you about things before I do them in the future.”
She stares at me, her eyes unmoving as they peer into mine.
Then, without warning, she steps forward and wraps her arms around me.
When she rests her head on my chest, it melts my heart.
I immediately embrace her, pulling her closer with one arm circled across her mid-back, and the hand on my other side cradles the back of her head.
“This is really hard for me to be okay with, but I am grateful. Thank you, Harrison,” she whispers.
“You’re welcome.” I kiss the top of her head, and my lips linger there for several seconds as I breathe her in. The tension dissolves from my jaw, and I tighten my hold on her.
We stand like that for a minute, and I trace invisible lines up and down her back while I think. Her body relaxes against me, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt anything more wonderful.
Mine.
The word comes unbidden to the forefront of my mind, but it’s a perfect description of what this feels like.
My heart knows without a doubt that she is mine, and I’m already hers, whether she realizes it yet or not.
And I take care of mine—it’s what I do. Starting today, I’ll go at her pace, but I have plans for us.
I’m going to learn everything there is to know about this spectacular woman.
I want her to feel safe enough to let me take care of her sometimes.
To help her heal and face whatever causes the sadness she tries to keep hidden by burying it deep in her heart.
I love her. How I didn’t realize it before this very moment, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter—it just is. I love Delaney, and I’m going to give all I have to show her and make her believe it.
I know what I have to do now, but there’s a good chance it will kill me. Okay, maybe not kill me, but it’s going to be damn hard. I loosen my hold on her and pull back. She looks up at me, and I cup her gorgeous face in my hands.
No, don’t say it, you fool.
I shove the devil off my shoulder and take a deep breath, then release it and loosen my hold on Delaney so I can pull back and look at her. When she glances up at me, I know this is the right thing to do for us.
“Bets, it pains me to say this, but we can’t have sex anymore.”