Chapter 52
Chapter Fifty-Two
Delaney
I’m a coward. It’s been ten days since the Cassandra catastrophe—as I’m now calling it—happened, and I’ve been avoiding Lydia. I know I did nothing wrong, but I’m still afraid to see her in case her opinion of me has changed. That would break me, and my heart is already fragile.
So, I have been coming in at odd hours to see Mom.
She’s currently getting her weekly whirlpool bath, and I didn’t want her to miss that since it seems to relax her so much.
That means idle time for me, which is dangerous.
Unoccupied time means my mind thinks about him, and that’s never good.
To pass the time, I walk around the unit and stop when I reach the windows with a superior view of the construction site.
The project should reach completion in a week or two, and it’s coming together stunningly fast now. Rumor has it, though it’s been so hush-hush, that everything is complete except for the final touches on the wing added to the project a while back.
“It’s coming along beautifully, isn’t it?” I glance to my left, and Lydia stands there, a sad smile on her face.
“Yes, I’d say so. Have you heard any info about the mystery building?”
“Uh-huh, and it’s going to be amazing.”
I whip my head in her direction until I see her eyes. “How do you know?”
“Remember, Harrison and I sit on the board, so all plans had to be approved through the usual process. Plus, Harrison is heavily involved in that part of the endeavor.”
It hurts to hear his name, but I force myself to speak. “He is? Since when?”
“Oh, honey, he’s the reason the building is going up. He insisted on its addition and...”
“And what?” I prod.
“And he’s financing most of it either through his own funds or through a capital campaign he put into place.”
I turn my gaze back to the construction and wonder what that’s all about. I don’t ask, though, because it hurts to think about him.
“Delaney, can we sit and talk for a few minutes?” When I turn to look at her, she’s already taken a seat in the chair next to her, and the sadness in her eyes, accompanied by a slight downturn at the corners of her mouth, tells me this won’t be a conversation about construction.
A small sigh escapes me, but I sit in the chair a few feet away from her.
“I know that you and Harrison aren’t together anymore, but it feels like I’m not seeing you much compared to, well, to the whole time I’ve known you. Do... do you not want me to visit your mom anymore?” She speaks the last words with a hint of shakiness in her voice.
“God, I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way. Of course, I still want you to visit Mom. But yes, I’ve been trying not to run into each other in case you were mad at me.”
Lydia’s eyes widen. “Honey, why would I be mad at you? You and my son broke up. You did nothing hurtful to him or to my family, and I value the friendship that we’ve built.”
I stare at her, speechless for an uncomfortable amount of time, but to her credit, she waits patiently for me to speak.
“You know what happened then?”
“I know most of it. Harrison has said little, but Holden has filled me in on the details. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I promise you I wasn’t doing anything to take advantage of you or—”
“You can stop right there. There isn’t now—nor has there ever been—a doubt in my mind about whether you did anything wrong. My whole family holds the same opinion.”
I divert my eyes to look at my folded hands in front of me.
“Well, not everyone...”
“If you’re talking about Harrison, he knows the truth, too.”
I pivot my head to look at her again. “Well, if he does it’s because he saw what was in that catalog envelope, and I’m sure whatever kind of accounting he has Leah doing proved my innocence.”
“Honey,” she shakes her head and frowns, “he never opened that envelope. Eventually, Ruthie did—to file it. She’s been helping around the office here and there, mostly because Harrison’s table is stacking up with files again.
Anyway, he tells me he realized within a matter of minutes that he didn’t truly believe you could ever do that, and he has deep regret over the things he said to you. ”
“He also dated, seriously, it sounds like, my ex-stepsister. Cassandra’s a pretty horrible person.
The thought that Harrison had a serious relationship with her makes me want to throw up.
I can’t picture Harrison with someone like her.
But maybe the Harrison who acted out that day is who he was with her.
I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but. ..”
“I think seeing you with Cassandra was a tremendous shock to him. Harrison holds a lot of guilt and a lack of trust in himself because of what happened with her in the past.”
“I was only with her because she was insistent on getting me to release any ownership or interest in a small piece of property her dad has about an hour from here. How and why Mom’s name was still on it, I have no idea.
I had no interest in dealing with her any longer than necessary.
So, I signed it over as Mom’s financial power of attorney.
That was the first time I had seen her in years, and since our parents were only married for about three years, we never grew close. Plus, she was hateful to me.”
“Harrison’s history with her is pretty ugly.”
Lydia spends the next several minutes outlining all the things that Cassandra did when she stole money from the company. It fits into the profile of who I know Cassandra to be.
“Thank you for sharing that information with me. It makes this just a tiny bit less painful to go through. But it doesn’t change anything between Harrison and me.”
“That’s all right, Delaney. I wasn’t trying to get you to change your mind; I just wanted you to have a little bit of background. I think, unless you choose to, we should just not talk about Harrison for a while.”
“Okay, that sounds good to me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having you in Mom’s life, and in mine. I hope we can continue seeing each other here once in a while as you continue working with Mom.”
“Of course we can, sweetheart.”
We’re interrupted when the nurse’s aide comes to let us know Mom is out of the bath and tucked into bed. Lydia and I walk to her room together, and I decide to give them some time, so I kiss Mom and tell her I love her. I say goodbye to Lydia, and without warning, she pulls me into a hug.
Neither of us speaks until we pull apart, and I give her the best smile I’m able to muster before walking away. My heart might feel less heavy knowing some of the backstory about what triggered Harrison. Only a very minute bit, though.
When I’m in my car, I pull out my phone and open my texts.
I have several texts from Harrison that I haven’t been able to bring myself to erase.
He asked several times if we could talk.
He apologized over and over. He told me how much he missed me and loved me. Those are the texts that hurt the most.
I couldn’t cope with the daily reminders of him. So, three days ago, I texted him.
I'm asking you to please stop sending me messages. We aren't together, and I need time to heal from this, which is difficult when you text me.
Harrison
I'm sorry. I never meant to add more stress to your life. I'll stop. I'm so sorry.
And that’s it. That’s the last I have heard from him. It’s what I want, or at least what I need, but it nevertheless devastates me when I wake up every day, and there are no new messages from him.
The saving grace is that I’m being wrapped in so much support by my “found family,” as Ruthie calls them all.
The night Ruthie picked me up from the B&B, I didn’t know where she was taking me.
So, when she directed me to Lester’s house, it surprised me to find him sitting on the patio, waiting for us.
They all but forced me to agree to stay in the efficiency that Lester has for as long as I need.
I am paying a little bit of rent, but not as much as I think I should.
It's been very hard to accept, but I have to admit that the extra help and kindness this group of people shows me has made a tremendous difference in my life.
I was without work except for the bartending gig, and it was Ruthie's boyfriend, Mr. Whittaker, who hired me on to help with some administrative assistant tasks at his place. He’s lovely, and I learned a lot about high-end media rooms and built in technology in buildings, but I still miss everyone back at my old workplace.
I was stupid and selfish to think that I could have something like I thought Harrison and I had while Mom still needs me.
Loving him and thinking he loved me in return, only to find out it could never work, has affected my heart in a way that I cannot hide, and I can’t afford to be down and depressed. Not with all I have going on.