Lizzie
Chapter Eleven
Ishould be more aware of my surroundings. I know that. But lately, I’m distracted by a constant barrage of thoughts about Holden. If I had been paying attention, I would have seen Landon before I walked up to my porch, where he sits.
“Liz. Awfully late getting home from work, huh?”
A freezing chill runs through me. I don’t mean to, but I take a step backward. I hate to give him any indication that he gets to me.
His sinister chuckle tells me he noticed. “What’s the matter, baby? You know me.”
“Yeah, I know you. That’s why I know to be careful.” I keep my tone as neutral as I can manage, even though I’m shaking inside.
“I’m just here to talk. Though I’m not happy I had to wait so long.”
I make no effort to move closer. The last thing I want is for him to come into my little apartment. He’s already made a habit of showing up in places important to me and tarnishing them with his presence. I won’t allow him to do it to my home.
“Okay. So, talk. Is everything okay back home? Your family? My family?”
His fierce glare is unnerving, but he says nothing. The annoying click he makes with his tongue grates on my nerves, now as much as ever.
“Do you think I only come when there’s bad news from home? I could’ve texted for that.”
I shrug.
“Come on, Liz. Let’s go inside and talk.” Landon softens his expression, but I know it’s a trick. Once he’s inside, he’ll revert to his usual self.
I scramble to think of an excuse not to let him into my house, but I can’t come up with one, so I’m going to have to go with honesty.
“Listen, Landon, I’m not comfortable with that. I’m fine to sit out here and talk with you, or we could take a walk, but we’re not going into the house.”
His jaw clenches, a sure sign that he’s annoyed. However, I know him well enough to know he’s trying to keep his reaction under control. Honestly, that might make me more nervous than if he showed his outright anger.
When he doesn’t and tries to mask what he’s really feeling like this, I don’t know what to expect. He sucks air through his teeth while staring at me.
“Fine. I wanted to see what you were doing next weekend. There’s a fall-festivities fundraiser-type thing at the house, and I wanted to see if you’d come.”
I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.
“Listen, we’ve been apart for too long, Liz. We’re in our senior year, and you know that we’re both going back home and that it’s inevitable we’ll be together. That’s how it’s meant to be. Any other girl I’ve talked to—”
I let a sarcastic huff escape me, and he stops speaking for a moment to pin his eyes on me.
“—doesn't matter. It was always going to be you and me, and I think it’s time to start easing back into us now.”
I’m irked and feeling bold.
“By 'talked to,' do you mean fucked? Kissed? Allowed to give you a blow job in the fucking frat house pantry?”
His face reddens, and his features pinch together.
“Don’t be crass. You don’t speak like that. I’m going to assume you’re tired, and that’s why you’re talking like a common nobody.”
Screw him. He’s such a controlling jackass. Against everything I know to be the best way to handle him, I speak again.
“Okay, so none of those women matter. What about the men I’ve talked to?”
He takes a threatening step toward me, and I take another back.
“Don't.”
“You haven’t talked to anyone, Liz, so that won’t be a problem.”
His glare dares me to contradict him.
“That you know of. Why would you know what I do?”
“Why do you insist on pushing me and pissing me off? Do you know how hard I try to be the kind of man you want me to be? I’ll never be a pushover, but I did try to give you some space.
I know you don’t like it when I use my leverage.
But saying stupid shit to get a reaction out of me isn’t the way to get me to act how you want me to—”
“I don’t really care how you act, Landon, because we aren’t together. We won’t be together. Even if I go back home, it won’t change a thing. You have no control over what I say or what I fucking do.”
He says nothing and smirks at me. It drips with wickedness and arrogance.
A wave of unease hits me, as if he can see inside my head—see all the things I’ve held precious lately. See my thoughts. My feelings about Holden. Maybe I shouldn’t have egged him on.
“I’ll ask you one more time. Why are you so late tonight, Liz?”
Even his smile feels threatening.
“None of your business, Landon,” I say with saccharine sweetness.
“I’m going to assume it’s studying. Give you the benefit of the doubt because I love you.”
I groan obnoxiously. “For fuck’s sake, you don’t love me. Love doesn’t behave like this. Like you.”
His face reddens again, and I know it’s at least partially because I said fuck again. A few times. The funny thing is, I rarely swear, and when I do, it’s usually to annoy him.
“Whether you like it or not, everything you do is my business—whether it happens at home or here. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because we aren’t technically dating, you aren’t mine.”
His words feel like an omen—one he makes no effort to soften.
“What’s going on here?”
Thank God. Sylvia. My best friend. I turn to look at her, and I’m even more relieved when I see her boyfriend, Tyler, with her.
“Nothing.” I turn and pin my eyes on Landon. “He’s just leaving. He forgot we weren’t together, so he came over to see me.”
“I didn’t forget anything. But I do need to leave. Someone’s waiting for me.”
I should just let him walk away. I know better. But sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble.
“Oh? Is it someone you need to talk to?” Sarcasm drips from my voice.
He’s already taken a few steps to leave, his shoulders now in line with mine as we face opposite directions.
“Yeah. There's going to be a lot of talking. Probably for hours.”
He starts walking again, and I climb up to my porch, where Sylvia and Tyler are waiting.
It takes me forever to find the keys in my bag, but Sylvia already has hers out. Since she’s my best friend and emergency contact, she’s got a key and has opened the door and walked in when Landon calls out to me.
“Liz?”
I sigh and turn my head enough to see him. “What?”
“I know you were fucking with me when you mentioned talking with other guys. But just in case you get any stupid ideas and forget that you’re mine, just know that I’ll be very displeased. I don’t tend to forgive easily and definitely not without making sure everyone involved learns their place.”
I cross my arms over my chest and shake my head.
“I’m not yours, Landon, and I’m free to see anyone I want. There’s nothing you can do about it, so shove your threats up your—”
“The Carter Family Foundation College of Engineering Scholarship. Have you heard of it, Liz?”
I freeze.
My heart pounds in my chest. I’m nearly positive that’s the scholarship Holden has. I never asked him about the details because I didn’t want to talk about how Landon’s dad funds it.
“Cat got your smart tongue now? In case you haven’t heard of it, it’s a full scholarship renewable for up to five years.
But there are conditions. Grades must be excellent, and conduct must be above reproach.
In fact, there are lots of things people can do—or appear to do—that jeopardize the scholarship. ”
“Why are you telling me this?” I practically whisper.
He says nothing for a few seconds, but his gaze pierces mine, the look in his eyes malevolent.
“You're not stupid, Liz. You know exactly what I’m telling you and why. I’d recommend you think long and hard about what happens next, because my patience is wearing extremely thin. You’ve had enough time to come to your senses about us on your own.”
Then he turns and walks the rest of the way to his car, parked several houses away, and I rush into the house, locking the door behind me.
I stay in the tiny foyer for a minute to calm myself. My hands shake. After a few deep breaths, I head into the kitchen and find Sylvia and Tyler sitting at the table.
“Tyler, I’m sorry. I know he’s your friend, but he’s such—”
“You can stop right there. He used to be my friend, and even then, it was mostly because our dads worked together. I stopped considering him a friend when he became... whatever version of himself that was out there. So yeah, I know he’s an asshole.
I have to be civil because my dad still works for his, but beyond that, he’s no friend of mine. ”
“I’m surprised he has any friends,” Sylvia says.
I toss my backpack down and head toward the kitchenette.
“Do you guys want anything to drink? I don’t have much, but after seeing him, I’m thinking a glass of cheap-ass wine might be exactly what I need.”
“Yes, please,” Sylvia answers. “And I’m guessing a beer for you, babe, right?” she asks Tyler.
“Sure, that would be great if you have one.”
I grab a beer for him and pour wine for Sylvia and me. Then I do what we call a Lizzie pour because it’s generous.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to change.”
I grab clothes, head to the bathroom, and switch into sweats and a T-shirt, then return to the main living area.
“So, what was he doing here?” Sylvia asks. “Things seemed pretty intense when we walked up.”
“Yeah, they were. I was really happy to see you. Not that I’m not always thrilled to see you, but especially today.”
“Some of the guys at the frat house said he’s been acting a little more... unrestrained lately,” Tyler adds.
Sylvia glances at him. “That’s a nice way to put it.”
Tyler laughs and kisses the top of her head.
They’ve been together since their freshman year of high school.
As much of a failure as my relationship with Landon was, theirs is the complete opposite: a high school sweetheart’s success story.
There’s no doubt in my mind they’ll end up married with a bunch of little Sylvias and Tylers running around.
I don’t want to worry my best friend, so there’s no way I’m telling her everything Landon said.
“I really don’t know why he was here. Trying to stake his claim or something. It’s ridiculous since he’s been with a million other girls since we’ve been apart.”
“Yeah, well, he’s a Carter,” Tyler says. “And Carters think they can have whatever they want, whenever they want it, regardless of who they hurt.”
Tyler's words echo my fears. Because if Landon truly is becoming unrestrained, it’s Holden who will pay for it.