24. Holden
Chapter Twenty-Four
Holden
“Me again! Me again!” Layla chants as I settle Lena on the side of the pool to wait for her next go.
Layla bounces in the shallow end of Harrison’s pool while she awaits her turn. The game is simple: the big fish (me) chases the little fish (Layla), and if (when) I catch her, I toss her into the deep ocean. Also known as the other side of the pool.
With my best effort at giving off tough big fish vibes, I chase Layla around the shallow end. After about a minute of the frolicking, Layla, buzzing with excitement as she runs from me, and Lena, cheering from the side of the pool, I catch Layla.
I pick up my spunky niece, and after a few fake outs, I toss her several feet away from me into the water. She giggles gleefully and doggy paddles back to the shallow end to wait for her next turn.
“Me! Me!” Lena calls from the side of the pool. Hayden rises from his seat, where he’s sitting with Lester, to fulfill his role in our game. I notice Lester watching him closely, his facial expression not giving anything away about what he’s thinking.
Lester treats the girls like I’m sure my dad would have if he were still alive.
He may be on the quiet side, but each of my brothers and I know if we need some sage advice, we should head over to his hardware store—just a few shops down from Lizette’s place—and Lester will be there to talk through whatever dilemma we present.
Hayden picks Lena up from the side of the pool, and I back up until I’m about five feet away from him.
He grasps Lena’s toddler’s waist, and she’s grinning ear to ear while pinching her nose as Hayden swings her back and forth a few times before throwing her to me.
When I catch her, we do a controlled dunk, my hands never leaving her, then I get her back up out of the water quickly.
Her giggles are priceless.
After a few more minutes of playing, I’m holding Lena, and Layla suddenly starts paddling to the opposite side of the shallow water and calls out, “Simon! Come play with us. Uncle Holden is the big fish, and he’s chasing us!”
I follow Layla’s line of vision and see Lizette, looking gorgeous in a white sundress that ties around her neck. My breath catches at the sight of her.
Stunning.
It’s the word that keeps coming to mind as I watch her stroll across the stamped concrete pathway.
She’s visually scanning the area, and I can tell when she sees Georgie because her shoulders relax and relief spreads across her face as she beelines for her best friend. The child holding her hand draws my attention. He looks to be about Layla’s age.
He must be Lizette’s son, Simon.
With a head of messy blonde hair that is just slightly too long, he grips Lizette’s hand, and I feel for the kid. It can’t be easy walking into this. My entire family, those related by blood and those not, are here. Well, except Heath. He’s still in South Carolina for football.
Anyway, this crowd can be intimidating when you don’t know them.
Both Lizette and Simon look our way at the same time. His eyes home in on Layla as she’s calling for him. Within seconds, Layla climbs out of the pool and races over to them as Lizette sets her bag on the chaise Georgie saved for her.
Lizette turns her full attention to the kids, and it’s clear Layla is talking to her. I look like a creeper because I’m mesmerized watching Lizette, but I can’t turn away.
Simon peers up at Lizette, and she nods. He’s wearing a swim shirt, and I watch her apply sunscreen to his face, and then he comes over to the pool with Layla.
I approach them and smile.
“Uncle Holden, this is my best friend, Simon.”
Simon looks at her quizzically.
I hold in my laughter, knowing Layla is absolutely serious.
“Best friend? Isn’t that weird? You’re a girl,” Simon says.
“Yeah, so? Boys and girls can be best friends. Aunt Georgie’s best friend is a boy, my Uncle Heath. It doesn’t matter.”
Simon shrugs. “Okay.”
I clear my throat. Suddenly, trembling nerves fill me. I want this kid to like me, but I’m not sure why it matters so much to me. Okay. If I’m honest with myself, he’s Lizette’s son, and I’m hoping I’ll see them a lot.
“Hi Simon. Nice to meet you, buddy.” I extend my hand toward his. He hesitates but then takes it and gives me a hearty shake.
“Hi. Nice to meet you, too,” he responds. He’s quiet, but polite.
I feel eyes on me and glance in Lizette’s direction to find her standing, watching us. She’s biting at her lower lip, and I force myself to look away.
“Do you guys want to play Marco Polo?” Layla asks.
The girl has endless energy.
“How about I take a break first? I have to get some water to drink, and I’ve got to go to the bathroom. Harrison will get mad if I pee in the pool.”
“Ew, Uncle Holden. Don’t even think about peeing here! This water touches my face.” Layla tries to come off as chastising, but her cute smile betrays her.
Simon quietly watches our exchange.
“You better move then so I can get out, or I can’t be responsible for what happens,” I tease.
“Go!” Layla says, laughing. “Out of the water, I mean. Not pee. Don’t go pee.”
“All right, maybe we’ll play more when my break is over.”
I move to the side of the pool and am about to set Lena on the edge so I can get out, but she’s rubbing her eyes and then lays her head on my chest. It’s apparently nap time.
Since she’s so sleepy, I hold onto her and use my other hand to lift us out of the pool.
I grab my towel and wrap her up in it so she doesn’t get cold.
Tillie is over with Georgie and Lizette, and it pleases me since that means I get to be near Lizette for a minute while I talk with Tillie.
When I get over to where the women are, Tillie reaches for Lena, and I hesitate to hand her off.
“Do you want me to lay her down for her nap? Then you can stay here and hang out.”
Tillie smiles. “Have I ever told you you’re my favorite brother-in-law?”
“Not today, you haven’t. I’m always open to hearing it.
” Lena yawns, and my heart melts. I kiss the top of her sweet little head.
“Speaking of favorites, I’m pretty sure this one”—I pause and point to Lena with my free hand—”has chosen me as her favorite.
Harrison’s gonna be peeved that he didn’t get both of your girls to come to his dark side. ”
I notice Lizette’s brow furrow, and Georgie must see it, too. She turns to Lizette and smiles. “Remember from the park? Harrison is Layla's favorite uncle. She makes no apologies for it. I think he truly enjoys rubbing it in, especially with Holden.”
“It just doesn’t make sense,” I complain. “I’m much more charming, definitely better looking.”
Harrison is passing by, a few cans of soda in his hands.
“Let me guess. Is he whining again about how I’m Ladybug’s favorite?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, continuing on his way over to where Delaney is sitting with my mom and Mom’s boyfriend.
“Whatever,” I mutter. “It’s gonna remain one of life’s great mysteries, I guess. Tills, just a pull-up and a T-shirt okay for nap attire?”
“Yep, you got it,” Tillie answers. “The diaper bag is in the girls’ room.”
“All right.” I glance over at Lizette and Georgie and nod. “Ladies.”
“See ya in a bit, H,” Georgie says. “Don’t fall asleep with her this time.”
I chuckle as I’m walking away. “I can’t make any promises.”
Forty-five minutes later, when I make it back outside to the patio, I find everyone is either eating lunch already or preparing a plate.
I’m still a little sleepy from just waking up, so I grab a water from one of the coolers and find a seat away from everyone on the opposite side of the pool. I lean back and take it all in.
I know I shouldn’t, but I let my eyes wander over to where Lizette sits. She’s perched cross-legged near the middle of the chaise and smiling down at Layla and Simon, who are seated on the ground and using the end of the chaise as a table.
Lizette was gorgeous when we were young, but there’s something different about her now, more than a decade later, that makes her hauntingly beautiful. I can’t help but feel as if she’s seen stuff, been through things that have changed her in powerful ways.
“How’re you holding up?” Hayden’s words make me jolt from my daydream and jump.
“Jesus, give a guy a warning, would ya?”
He tosses his hands up. “Hey, I said your name twice, but you were… distracted.” We sit in silence for several seconds. “Seriously, though, how are you doing?”
I twist my body to face him, and Hayden’s frown tells me he’s worried.
“I’m fine, Hayden. It was a stupid college crush that didn’t mean any—”
“Stop. Don’t do this, not with me. You know it was more than that. I don’t know why things blew up with you two, but I know before that you were really happy with the direction things were going with her.”
He fixes his gaze on me, refusing to look away and let me off the hook.
“Okay, sure. I was happy for a while. But Lizette made her choice all those years ago, and it wasn’t me.”
He stares at me, then shakes his head and turns his attention back to the bustling activity across the patio.
“Whatever you say. I just know that you changed after that all happened. At least in how you approached your relationships with women.”
“I don’t do relationships, so I’m not sure that’s really a fair statement.”
“That’s exactly my point. You went from being so sure you wanted a family like we grew up in—domesticity—to wanting nothing to do with anything that could lead to more. To commitment. And no matter what you say, it had something to do with Lizzie, who you can’t seem to stop staring at.”
I don’t respond right away. He’s not wrong about that last part. Losing Lizette, especially how it happened, broke something in me, and it hurt like hell.
Hayden clears his throat. “I guess what I’m saying is that I watched you playing with the kids earlier, and you would’ve been a great dad. You’re a natural. It’s a shame you won’t let yourself have that one day.” With that, he stands and pats me firmly on the back. “I love you, baby brother.”
“Love you too, Hayden.”
I close my eyes and zone out for a while, thinking about his words. When I open them again, my mouth goes dry, and I nearly die on the spot when I see Lizette.
She’s got her dress off and sits at the side of the pool in a green bikini that I’m sure matches her eyes.
And damn, she looks amazing.