Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
HARPER
I ’ve been to the Wolf Den before. Usually, whenever I came home for a couple of days to visit the family, Ava and I would end up here for a girls’ night.
We never really liked hanging out at the dive bars in Silver Springs.
This isn’t a dive bar. It’s a fun sports bar with pool tables and a jukebox, and the menu is great.
Therefore, when Blake pulled up here, I got excited.
We’ve already placed our orders, and Blake’s holding my hand from across the table. This man loves to touch. And I am not complaining. I love it when he touches me, too.
“So what’s the longer version of what you told me in the car?” Blake asks as he sips his iced tea. “If you don’t mind sharing, that is.”
Surprisingly, I don’t mind. I feel like I’ve been able to chat this man up from the moment I met him. It’s just easy. And I never feel like he’s judging me. He simply listens .
It’s refreshing.
“Well, let’s see. I was born on a warm July night?—”
Blake laughs, and I smile over at him.
“My parents were addicts,” I say, and his face clears. “So not good at the whole parent gig. My mom would try to get her act together about twice a year, but she loved my dad, and if your partner won’t get clean with you …”
“You’re less likely to succeed,” Blake finishes.
I nod and sip my water.
“Yeah. The thing is, when she tried to get sober, it was almost worse. She was withdrawing so badly that all she did was cry and couldn’t function at all. If she was using, she at least had lucid moments of remembering groceries and stuff.”
I shrug a shoulder, but Blake scowls, so I squeeze his hand.
“When I was in the seventh grade, I met Ava at school. I mean, I’d seen her around because we grew up in such a tiny town, but we became best friends that year, and I started spending most of my time with her family. Her dad didn’t even blink an eye to having me around. Greg’s the best.”
Blake’s eyes warm. “Where’s her mom?”
“Oh, she’s been gone since Ava was a toddler.
Took off and left everyone behind. Ava doesn’t remember her, and no one really talks about her.
Greg’s been a single dad for a long time.
About a year or so after I started hanging with the Hendrix clan, my parents were killed in a car accident.
They absolutely should not have been in the car because they were so freaking wasted, and it’s a miracle they didn’t kill someone else with them. ”
I lick my lips and drink my water.
“Greg took me in. As a kid, I didn’t know or understand everything that entailed for him. I just knew that I moved in with him and never left. Ava and I shared a room, her brothers became my brothers, and that was that.”
I bite my lower lip, thinking about it. “But man, that must have been hard for him.”
“I’m sure it was a lot of red tape to work through,” Blake agrees.
“He never voiced any concerns or frustrations or anything to me. He didn’t officially adopt me, so I guess I would have probably been considered in a foster situation.
But he sent me to college. I got some great scholarships and stuff, but he took care of the rest because he didn’t want me to be saddled with a bunch of debt after I graduated.
So yeah, if I need to move home to make sure he’s taking care of himself, I’m happy to do that.
He probably saved my life. He definitely gave me a family and made me feel safe and cared for.
And Ava and her brothers are mine, too.”
Blake pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
“I’m glad that’s how your story turned out,” he says.
“You and me both. So what about you? Tell me more about your family.”
“My parents are still married and recently moved back to Bitterroot Valley from Florida, where they were trying to retire. The warmer weather was better for my mom’s arthritis. But they missed home and had serious FOMO most of the time.”
“I get that.”
“I have three brothers and a sister. They’re all still here, too.”
“Montana seems to produce big families.”
He laughs at that. “Seems so. Why nursing?”
Our meals are delivered, and once the server is gone, I answer his question.
“Because I like it. It’s really that simple.
I knew that I’d always have a job. I’m not squeamish when it comes to …
fluids or needles or anything really. And when I did a rotation in a NICU, I knew that was it for me.
The babies are so freaking strong and amazing.
Most parents are good. There are always the few who aren’t very nice, but they’re scared, and I understand that.
Plus, I won’t have kids, so this way, I can cuddle someone else’s baby without being considered a creep. ”
His eyes narrow at that. I keep my face neutral, but I’m surprised I said that last part out loud. I don’t know that I’ve ever said those words before. Not even to Nathan, and I’d agreed to marry that asshole.
“What do you mean you won’t have kids?”
“I’m not infertile, I don’t think. I simply know that it’s not in the cards for me.”
He takes a bite of his burger, watching me as he chews.
“Why?”
I shove some fries in my mouth and decide to add more salt. “I don’t think I’d be great at it. I’m not terribly maternal. Sure, I like to take care of my patients, and I’ll dote on Greg, but I’m not warm and fuzzy.”
“You don’t have to be warm and fuzzy to be a good parent.”
I tip my head side to side as if I’m considering that. “Maybe not. I don’t know. It’s always been a gut feeling that I won't be a mom for as long as I can remember.”
He watches me for a minute, then nods slowly. “I understand. I love kids, but it’s never been in my plan to have a family, either. I’m very career-driven. I’m married to my job.”
“You know, I think that’s okay.” I take another bite of fries. They’re extra crispy tonight, just the way I like them. “Not everyone has to have a life goal of marriage and two-point-six kids. Or, around here, five kids.”
I shudder at that, and he laughs at me.
“Sometimes, it’s okay to want the career, the friends, the community. I’m not an island. I have people, and I like myself this way. It took a while to get there.”
“I like you, too,” he replies with a half smile. And before he can say more, his phone rings, making him scowl. “Shit, that’s the hospital.”
He sets his mostly eaten burger down and answers.
“This is Dr. Blackwell.” His jaw firms, and he pulls his hand down his face. “I’m not on call this evening.”
Sounds like our date is ending early.
“ETA is fifteen minutes.” His voice is hard, and it’s clear he’s not happy about this as he hangs up and stares at me. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. ”
“Married to the job, remember?”
“Harper, I?—”
“Hey, it’s okay. Go.”
“There was a big accident, and they?—”
“You’d better hurry,” I tell him. “Take that burger with you.”
“I’ll flag down the server and?—”
“I’ve got this.” I grab a few napkins, wrap up his burger and hand it to him, then stand with him.
“I have cash for the bill. And I’ll call someone to give you a ride?—”
“No. I will handle all of this. You go save some lives, Dr. Blackwell.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
He grabs my face in his hands and kisses me hard. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m honestly fine. No bullshit. Go.”
Blake’s eyes are full of torment, but he kisses me again, grabs the burger off the table, and then he’s off. I sit down once more and steal his fries.