Chapter 12 #2
“I know that our schedules are tough,” he continues as if his words aren’t devastating. “But we can figure it out. There are no other women. I promise you that. Jesus, you’re all I think about, Harper. You’re all I see.”
And just like that, every tiny shred of doubt or jealousy is wiped away. Because how could any woman have a man say those words to her and still think that he’d fuck around on her?
Not me. And I was once with a man who did fuck around on me. But he never said words like that. He never made me feel like I was worthy of every bit of his energy until nothing was left over for anyone else.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. My brothers used to give me a lot of shit for, well, before. But I have no interest in that. It’s not even a thought. I want you , here in my home and my bed, with me. This is exclusive, sugar.”
I nod and reach up to drag my fingertip over his bottom lip.
“I prefer exclusive.”
“Good. Me too because if another man puts his hands on you, I won’t be happy. Now, let’s get cleaned up so I can mess you up again.”
“Where the fuck are you going?”
I wince at the rough, growly question and look back at Blake, who’s just sat up in bed. I thought I was quiet enough not to wake him. I wanted him to sleep longer.
“Nowhere without you.” I snort, then crawl onto the bed with him and snuggle him. His arms wrap around me as he holds me close. I push my nose against his neck and breathe him in, remembering every blissful moment from last night.
It was perfect.
He made me feel amazing. Like I was the only woman in the world. Like I’m his only focus, and let me just say, having Blake’s undivided attention is the best.
I’ve never really been a snuggler until this man. He held me all night as if he was terrified I’d sneak out on him again. His arms were banded around me, holding me against his chest, and I have to admit that it felt amazing. I didn’t feel the need to roll away from him even once.
“I have to go home,” I tell him softly and nuzzle his neck as he rolls me to the side, hugging me close. He’s still under the covers, and I’m on top, but he doesn’t care.
“Not happening. ”
I smile and cup his cheek. “I do, unfortunately. I have to work in two hours, Blake. I don’t have anything here.”
He sighs and brushes my hair back from my face. I freaking love it when he does that.
“One day, I’ll get to have breakfast with you. It’s on my bucket list.”
I blink at him in the darkness. “Breakfast with me is on your bucket list?”
“Definitely.” He kisses my nose. “I’ll take you home.”
“Thanks. It would be a really long walk.” I grin at him and kiss his lips before I climb off the bed and pad into the kitchen, where I turn my phone on and wait for it to wake up.
“Do you want coffee?” Blake asks as he joins me in the kitchen. He’s in the same jeans and T-shirt from last night, and he’s freaking delicious in the morning with that disheveled dark hair and sleepy eyes that rake over me from head to toe. “Or an orgasm or three?”
I chuckle and lean over to kiss his biceps, and he pushes my hair behind my ear, sending tingles through me.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ll make some coffee at the house and take a rain check on the orgasms.” My phone starts to light up, and I scowl.
I have missed calls and texts, and when I check them, I simply sit on the floor.
My legs no longer work as my heart starts to pound and the world spins. “No. No, no, no, no.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Blake squats in front of me, also looking down at my phone.
Greg: Hey sweetie, I don’t feel great tonight. Probably should have just stuck with those treats you brought me. Gonna check my sugar.
Greg: Pretty high. 321. Damn.
Greg: Should I go to the hospital? Not sure.
Tucker: Don’t panic, okay? I have Dad, and we’re at the ER. His levels are too high.
Xander: Baby sis, need you to answer your phone.
I’m shaking so hard now that I can’t hold the phone still, so Blake takes it from me and reads the rest of the messages to me.
“Basically, they admitted him, and he’s stable now. Christ, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“Please take me to the hospital. Right now.”
“You got it.” He pulls me to my feet and kisses my forehead. He grabs his own phone, my purse, and we’re off.
“I shouldn’t have turned my phone off,” I mutter and drag my hands down my face as Blake hurries the short distance to the hospital. “But dammit, I took him all kinds of things to snack on yesterday. What in the hell did he eat?”
“We’ll find out, but he didn’t have to eat anything specific, baby. Sometimes sugar levels get wacky for no reason at all,” Blake says, taking my hand in his and kissing the back of it. “No more turning our phones off. We’ve learned that lesson.”
I take a deep breath and look over at him. God, he’s amazing. So calm and sure, and steady. Rock solid. I wish I could climb in his lap and cling to him like a freaking sloth on a tree.
And part of me feels so damn guilty because while I was having one of the best nights of my life, the man who raised me was headed for a diabetic coma, scared, and trying to reach me.
“Stop.” Blake shakes his head. “You didn’t do this, you didn’t know it would happen, and you can’t go back and change it now.”
“I know, but he was scared and trying to find me, and?—”
“You didn’t know , Harper. I won’t let you beat yourself up over this. No way.”
“I came home to take care of him, not fall into bed with you. I can’t just be selfish and fuck the hot doctor and forget that my father is sick and I’m the only one he listens to. I have to be there when he needs me. What am I even doing?”
Tears run unchecked down my face, and suddenly, Blake pulls into the hospital parking lot, but when he parks the car and walks to my side to open the door, he pushes his face to mine before I can get out.
“You’re a human fucking being, Harper. A woman with her own needs and feelings. You’re allowed to have a personal life outside of your family. No one expects you to be at their beck and call.”
“Yes, they do,” I reply, my voice even and hollow, even to my own ears. “And they should , Blake. After all they’ve done for me?—”
“Loved you?” he demands, his eyes full of angry fire, his hands tight on my shoulders. “They love you. They expect love in return, not absolute fucking devotion, Harper.”
“But they have absolute devotion from me, Blake. Not out of some sort of misplaced debt or gratitude but because I know what it is not to be loved by the people who are supposed to love you. And the thought of losing Greg, or any of them, is something I can’t even entertain.
I’m supposed to be here with them. They’re mine , and I don’t have anyone in my life as precious to me as they are. This is important.”
I push my hands through my hair and lift my chin.
“I need to see him now .” My voice is cold. I don’t want to fight with Blake or try to justify why I feel the way I do.
“Fine.” He backs up so I can get out of the car, but then he grabs my hand and turns me to him. “But you won’t refer to us as fucking the hot doctor ever again, do you hear me?”
“That’s what I’m doing. That’s what this is.”
He pushes his nose to mine. “ The fuck it is . Let’s go.”
He practically drags me through the automatic doors and up the stairs to the second floor where the main admissions is. He asks the nurse where Mr. Hendrix is, and when she confirms that I’m family, she says he’s in room 228.
“I’ll take it from here. Thanks for the ride.”
I start to walk past Blake, but he won’t release my hand.
“You’re not ditching me.”
“Blake, this is a family situation, and you have to work?—”
“I will take you over my knee right here and now if you don’t stop talking to me like I’m a fucking inconvenience,” he growls into my ear so I’m the only one who can hear him. “I know you’re upset, but goddammit, Harper. I didn’t do this either.”
I can’t look at him as I blink at tears and swallow hard. I love having him by my side, my hand in his. Being able to lean on him. But I don’t know if it’s smart to love it or to depend on it. Because I do everything myself. I always have. It’s who I am.
“I don’t do well with asking someone for help, and my emotions are all over the place. I’m scared.”
“Clearly. Come on.”