Chapter 28 There’s A Fine Line Between Love and Hate
CHAPTER 28: THERE’S A FINE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE
LACEY - PRESENT
C hris has barely spoken a word since we got in the Uber and left trivia. Poppy and Logan keep trying to make small talk about the Fourth of July weekend but he’s not biting. He’s sitting next to me silent like he’s pissed. It’s a little annoying. Actually, it’s a lot annoying and I don’t know what it all means.
The Uber comes to a stop in the parking lot of our apartment complex and the four of us climb out and head up the stairs. Poppy, Logan, and I make our way into the apartment, but Chris pauses outside the door.
“You’re coming in, right?”
“I’m not sure,” he says. He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slouched.
I step back outside and close the door behind me. I reach out and try to touch his arm, but he moves away from me to lean against the metal railing of our landing. Both hands remain firmly in the pockets of his pants.
“Did I do something?” I ask. My mind immediately revisits the hug with Jace after we won. Is that why he’s acting so mad? People hug. Friends hug. Fuck, strangers hug. Surely, he can see it was just a hug. Right?
It was just a hug. Right?
“That Jace guy likes you.”
His words stay suspended in the humid air surrounding us.
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Yes, he does, and I think you might like him too.”
I shake my head. “You’re wrong. Up until two weeks ago, I hated him.”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate, Lacey.”
A laugh spills out of me and I shake my head again. “No. Do we have a history? Yes. Are we friends? Maybe, but he’s just another guy in our friend group.” I move toward him, but he doesn’t move. He doesn’t try to invade my personal space at all and I hate it.
“He calls you by a nickname. He reads the books you like. You don’t think it means he sees you as more than a friend?”
“The nickname is something stupid he’s called me since I was seven. It’s not like he calls me baby or babe. It’s an inside joke from when we were kids.”
“And the book thing?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he likes romance books.” I shrug and try to laugh, but he continues to stand there stiff as a board with his mouth in a thin line.
“Look. You and I haven’t talked a lot about our past relationships, but I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Please let’s go inside. I’m tired and I was really looking forward to you staying over.”
The corner of his mouth tips up slightly.
“Does that mean you’re coming in?” I reach my hand out and to my surprise he takes it in his.
Disappointment fills me with how underwhelming the gesture feels. My skin doesn’t react to his touch at all. In fact both of our hands feel a little sweaty from the heat and my gut reaction is to let go, but I don’t. I will myself to push that idea as far out of my head as I can and lead him through the door instead.
My alarm blares, and I look over to find the other side of my bed empty. After Chris followed me inside, we fell asleep. We didn’t revisit the conversation that happened outside the apartment door. When I asked him if he would be coming with all of us to the cabin, he gave me some noncommittal response about having to check with work.
We brushed our teeth, changed into pajamas, and then fell asleep without even a foot graze under the covers. It’s now six thirty and I don’t know at what point he left because I might as well have been sleeping in my bed alone. I breathe out and rub my hands over my eyes. Scanning the screen of my phone, the green and white message app is topped with a little red five. I swipe up and I’m met with message after message from Jace.
Jace: Tonight was a blast!
Jace: I can’t believe the Bix was the winning answer!
Jace: How long have you known I found it?
Jace: The Bix I mean.
Jace: Shit, sorry. I know it’s late. I hope none of these woke you.
I let out a giggle. He was always cute when a little flustered.
Lacey: You didn’t wake me.
Jace: Good morning, pixie!
Lacey: Morning!
Lacey: I’ve known about the Bix since the day we went out on the boat. I’m really proud of you.
Jace: Why didn’t you say anything?
Lacey: Because I didn’t know if you wanted me to and us being friends again is still so new.
My phone rings and Jace’s name is displayed across the screen. I sit up in bed and smooth the comforter around my legs.
“Hello.” My voice sounds groggy, so I clear my throat and try again. “Hello.”
“Hi, pixie.”
My stomach does a flip at the sound of the nickname coming out of his mouth. My eyes find the clock on my bedside table.
“Everything okay, J? I’m about to start getting ready. My boss asked me to work today.”
“Oh yeah. Right. I wanted you to know that when our team found it, you were the person I wanted to call. More than anything I wish we could have shared that moment because it felt like it belonged to you and me.”
The line is silent for a few moments and I have to remind myself to start breathing again.
“Anyway, I, um, I’m glad you know about it now and yeah, I guess I wanted you to hear me say that versus reading it on a text.”
“Thanks for telling me. Are you really reading the entire Bridgerton series?”
“Sure am. Did you read the book I recommended?”
“I did. I finished it a couple nights ago. It was a beautiful book. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Did you know it’s also Jess’s favorite book in Gilmore Girls ?”
“Can’t say I did. Is that a good thing?”
“Definitely. I’m firmly in the Team Jess camp,” I laugh.
“I’m glad you read it. I’ll let you know when I get to book six.”
“Good. I gotta get ready for work. Talk to you later?”
“Bye, pixie.”
He hangs up and I drop my phone on the mattress. I sit there for a few minutes longer trying to wrap my head around the past twenty-four hours—the hug, the stolen glances, the erratic text messages, and then the phone call. I throw my legs out of bed and get through my morning routine and it’s not until I start my ignition that I realize I haven’t heard from or thought of Chris since I saw Jace’s texts.