Chapter 26 We Didn’t Cuddle
WREN
An alarm starts to ring, waking me up. I squint my eyes open and grab for my phone, but there’s no sound coming from it.
Gosh, is Tanner’s alarm really that loud?
I let out a groan and nuzzle deeper into the buttery soft comforter covering me.
I’m a little surprised by how good I slept last night.
I guess when you're tired enough, even an air mattress doesn’t suck.
I shoot up in the bed—I’m not on the air mattress.
Blinking, I try to take in my surroundings in the dark room. I’m not in my room. I’m not on the couch. I’m sitting in Tanner’s bed. My head flips to the other pillow, but I’m alone and the alarm starts ringing again.
Confused, I get out of his bed and follow the sound.
“Tanner, can you turn that off?” I yell toward my bedroom, still a little disoriented from waking up in his room.
“Morning,” he says from the couch, startling me.
“Oh, morning.” I flip around. “It sounded like it was coming from my room for a second. I think I’m still half-asleep.”
“How’d you sleep?” he asks, rolling his neck from side to side. He’s shirtless, and I try to redirect my gaze, but it’s no use. My eyes are drawn to him like moths to a very hot flame.
“Great, actually,” my eyes dip down to his abs, and I swear he flexes his muscles just for me. “Why are you on the couch?”
“We both fell asleep before the movie was over. I tried carrying you to your bed, but it was deflated.”
“Deflated?” I question.
“Yeah, Dolly jumped on it when I went in to make it, and it folded like a pancake.”
“She must have popped it yesterday when she was trying to catch the light. I thought I heard something weird, but I didn’t see a hole,” I say, yawning and rubbing my eyes. “Goodness, what time is it?”
“Four-thirty,” he says.
“Four-thirty?” I groan.
“Yeah, I gotta go to the gym before fighting the Atlanta traffic to get to work.”
“Sounds terrible.”
“You’re welcome to go back to sleep in my room,” he offers. “You really can’t catch a break with your bed.”
“That’s okay, I’m up now, so I might as well stay awake.”
“Well, if you want to take my bed until the new mattress arrives, you can,” he offers.
Now that I’ve slept in it, it’s tempting.
His mattress is the perfect firmness. It’s not too hot or too cold.
The comforter feels expensive, and last night was admittedly the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.
I can’t take his bed though. I have yet to repay him for letting me stay here, and stealing his room doesn’t exactly scream that I’m thankful for his kindness.
“No, I’ll figure out the air mattress. Thank you though. ”
He stands and begins to walk toward his room, invading my space. “You feeling better today?” he asks, stopping right in front of me.
“Much better,” I say, smiling up at him. “I think that soup really did the trick.”
There’s a pause, and tension ripples through the air.
“I’m gonna go get ready to leave,” he says, nodding his head in the direction of his door.
“Me too.” We start moving toward our rooms at the same time, both taking a step to my right. My body crashes against his bare chest, and I stumble trying to gain control of my footing.
“Shit, sorry,” I say, trying to switch directions, but this time we both go left, and our bodies tangle again.
“You trying to run into me, roomie?” He smirks.
“No, uh, I’m—” I try again to move around him, but this time he intentionally steps in my way, laughing.
“Tanner! Move!” I yell, and he lets out a loud chuckle as he picks me up and spins me around, placing me on the other side of him.
A spark ignites between us, and for a moment we both freeze.
His eyes lock on mine, and I swallow hard.
He takes a step towards me, causing my breath to catch.
My heart rate quickens because, for a split second, it feels like he might kiss me.
The alarm on his phone starts ringing again, interrupting whatever the hell this is.
Kiss me? He was about to kiss me and I wanted him to.
He clears his throat and then takes a couple steps backwards towards his room.
“I’m gonna be late,” he says.
“Yeah, me too.”
“No, you’re not.” He laughs. “It’s not even five yet, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, right. Thanks again for letting me sleep in your bed last night,” I say, awkwardly, trying to look anywhere but the cut lines of his perfectly sculpted abs and think about anything but the almost kiss.
“Any time,” he says. His voice is doing that gravely thing again.
“Any time?” I quirk my head. Blush creeps up his cheeks.
“I just meant, like, if you were uncomfortable, then I could sleep on the couch again. Or, like, if the air mattress doesn’t work out or whatever.”
I giggle.
“You know what? Ignore me. I'm gonna go get ready for the gym.” He stumbles over his words and then turns to go get ready, and I go to my room because I don’t know what else to do with myself.
What in the actual fuck is going on?
I begin to pace the minute my door shuts behind me. I thought I had gotten things under control, but it appears I have not. Two almost kisses in less than twenty-four hours.
Does that mean he likes me too?
No, that’s impossible. Maybe it’s just flirting or something else. I don’t know, but I do know that it’s hot.
Shit.
Need pulses through my body, and those fucking butterflies return between my legs, so I wait until the front door closes, grab my wand, and I repeat what I did a week and a half ago because, god dammit, how else is a girl supposed to pass the time or process her feelings?
____
On my drive to work, I replay yesterday and this morning, and I don’t know what to make of any of it. When I got into the kitchen, there was another post-it note and doodle stuck to the fridge. In the doodle, the animals were wearing crowns—no doubt a nod to the movies we watched yesterday.
Glad you got some rest. See you tonight.
– T.
I must be temporarily insane because I have no idea what we’re doing—or rather what I’m doing. He’s just being himself—his flirty, goofy self—and I can feel myself crushing harder by the minute. I try to shake the thought as I walk into Dogwood Manor, but it’s no use.
I quickly move to my office, shutting the door behind me. I need to talk to someone and process what the hell is going on.
The Tortured Therapists Department
SOS! Are any of you not working yet?
Poppy:
I’m just walking in. What’s up?
I need advice. Can you come to my office?
Poppy:
On my way!
Lacey:
Advice on what?
Gray:
Yeah, everything okay?
Tanner
Chloe:
Tanner?
Lacey:
Tanner?
Gray:
Tanner?
Y’all are hilarious.
There’s a small tap on my door, and Poppy appears holding an extra large cup of coffee. “What’s up, babe?” she asks, walking in.
“I don’t know.” I let my face fall into my hands.
“Did he do something?” she asks, hesitantly.
“Oh, no. I mean yes, but nothing bad. It’s all really sweet.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s see, yesterday I felt like actual garbage.”
“Right. You texted. He massaged your back. You moaned. Oh, my god, did you sleep with him?”
“No. He just hung out with me all afternoon watching The Princess Diaries. And then he bought me all of these period supplies, cooked me dinner, and then when I fell asleep in his lap, he carried me to his bed, and he slept on the couch.”
“Is that all?” she asks, giggling.
“Oh, and he danced with me. I forgot that one.”
She giggles again.
“It’s confusing right?”
“What’s confusing? It sounds like he’s being really sweet, and you like one another.”
“Because I’m all up in my feelings about it and he keeps not wearing his shirt and we almost kissed last night and then again this morning.”
“He almost kissed you?” She plops down into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “Twice?”
“Yes.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
Blush covers my cheeks as I think back to how I used by vibrator this morning.
“Why are you blushing?”
“If I tell you, it has to stay between us.”
“I’m listening.” She leans forward, propping her chin on her fist.
“I may have…” My voice drops to a barely whisper. “I may have used my vibrator after.”
Her coffee almost sprays from her mouth.
“Stop!” I whine. “I feel like I’m teetering on the edge and playing with fire. I said I wouldn’t fall for him, and here I am melting and thinking about him every time I make myself come.”
“Oh, fuck. You do like him.”
“He’s our friend. Of course I like him.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Like, you want to fuck him.”
“I do not.”
“I think your vibrator would have a different opinion.”
“I don’t know. Yes. No. Maybe. That’s absurd. We’re roommates, and I’m just falling for his playboy charm, right?” I sip my iced coffee.
She shrugs. “Sounds like it’s more than just playboy charm.
That’s what gets a girl into bed for a one night stand, and that is not what is happening here.
He’s buying you period supplies, cuddling you on the couch, and cooking you dinner.
It’s charming, but I don’t think that’s his playboy charm.
I think it’s really sweet, and he really likes you. ”
“We didn’t cuddle. He just let me lay on his lap because I couldn’t get comfortable.”
“Right, and Logan just lets me suck his dick because I like the way it feels on my tongue.” She giggles.
“Jesus, Poppy, we’re at work.”
“No one can hear me.” She sips her coffee and looks over her shoulder to see if anyone is nearby. “I’m just saying that men don’t usually let their friends lay in their lap, and I’m not grabbing my vibrator and thinking about any of our friends while I use it.”
My phone chimes again.
Lacey:
Hello?????
Gray:
Do not leave us hanging like this.
Chloe:
What’s going on with Tanner?
“Would it be so bad if something happened between you two?” she asks.
“I don’t know, but the last time I let myself fall for someone, it ended so badly. And I know he’s not Chad, but I don’t want to be hurt again. He’s being nice, and that’s what friends do. Maybe it’s just my hormones and the fact that I haven’t had sex in awhile.”
“Maybe, but he’s never done any of that nice stuff for any of us.”
“True, but y’all have never lived with him. Ugh. What am I going to do?”
“Do you want Logan to talk to him and see where his head is at?”
“No. I don’t need the boys knowing. I’ll figure it out. I’m sure I’m just overthinking it.”
“I personally think y’all would make a really cute couple.”
A cute couple?
My face heats and I divert my eyes away from my friend.
“You do like him,” she says. “You’re blushing again. It’s okay to admit it.”
“But is it crazy? I haven’t even been living with him for a month.”
She shrugs. “Things happened fast for Logan and me too. I think you had a certain image of him in your head, and he’s proving you wrong. Has he had a girl over since you moved in?”
“No.”
“I don’t know how he’s feeling, but you should stop freaking out. Just see where things go, and have fun.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I usually am,” she teases, standing. “I hope I helped. I think it’s all going to work out, and if you change your mind, I know Logan wouldn’t mind chatting with him.”
“Thanks, girl!” I say, as she turns and disappears into the hall.
Exhaling, I sip the last bit of my iced coffee. Maybe Poppy’s right. Maybe I’m not misreading things, and he likes me too.
My heart rate quickens at the thought, and I nervously suck on the straw making the little remaining liquid bubble around the ice at the bottom of the cup.
Now, if only I had the courage to tell him how I was feeling.