Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Trevor came back from a walk along the beach. He was cold, damp, and frustrated. And somehow, he’d managed to push Elzy even further away.
As he entered the suite, he found Darby facing the mirror, slicking on her lip gloss. She looked like she was attending a premiere.
“We’re just going to tastings, right? Am I missing something?” The warmth in the room loosened his joints.
“Yes, but these are two of the fanciest restaurants in Reykjavik.” She eyed his sandy boots, jeans, and parka. “Hurry up and get into your kilt.” She popped the lid back on the tube.
Hell no. Dressing in costume would only remind Elzy of the reason he’d left her. “Not necessary. We’re eating in the kitchen.”
She lowered her arm. “That’s what you talked to her about? Business ?”
“No.” He lifted his phone. “Chris sent a group text.” He sat on a chair and untied his boots. “Our conversation lasted all of fifteen minutes. I brought up my son, but that was it. She didn’t want to talk about anything else.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m engaged. She thinks it’s shitty of me to be alone with her behind your back.” At least he’d gotten to tell her how Cole was conceived.
Fuck .
All this time, she thought I’d fallen for someone eighteen months after leaving her.
He couldn’t stand it.
I’ve never loved anyone but her.
“I love that she’s a girl’s girl, but yeah, it’s a problem. What should we do?”
Good question. After pulling off his socks, he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. “If I tell her the truth, I’ll have to leave, and I’m not willing to do that.” But he had to stop coming on so strong. “I need to back off. Just hang out with her and be friendly.”
“You don’t have much time.”
“Believe me, I know.” He remembered the heat, though—the longing—in Elzy’s eyes. The way sparks danced on his skin when he’d moved closer to her. “It’s there. The chemistry. Attraction. Whatever you want to call it. It’s still there. And if I can just hang out with her like a friend, I think, eventually, she’ll let down her guard. I think…” It’ll all come rushing back . “I don’t think there’s any other way to approach this.”
“Oh, I can think of another way.”
“Yeah?”
“Nothing works faster than jealousy. Say the word, and I’ll be the best fiancée you’ve ever seen.”
“Absolutely not.” He cast her a warning look. “Don’t stir the pot, Darby.”
She grinned. “Where’s the fun in that?”
He knew she was teasing, but he wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t think he could explain the urgency in him. He would not fuck up his chance to win her back.
Her phone buzzed, and she glanced down. “Oh.” Her eyes widened. “That’s Emil. He wants to have coffee with me.” Her fingers shook as she typed a response. “I can’t believe it.”
“You haven’t talked to him in all this time?”
“Not once. Every time I come home I find myself looking for him. I see a car drive by, and my heart jumps into my throat because I think, That’s him. That’s Emil . But it never is.” She dropped the lipstick into her black leather purse. “I thought I was ready to see him. It’s been long enough, and my life is so good that I convinced myself I didn’t care anymore.”
That was not the case for him. He’d never stopped loving Elzy. Wanting her. Missing her.
For years, he couldn’t understand the loneliness that plagued him. He was on a set with dozens of people, living in a friendly, welcoming town. He had his son, a daughter-in-law, and grandkids. What was wrong with him?
But now that he was back in the same room with her, it was clear the sense of emptiness came from missing the other half of his soul.
“Well, it’s not like I’ve spent the last twenty-six years and five months hoping we’d get back together.” She laughed, and he knew it was because she could recite the exact date they’d broken up.
But it wasn’t funny. Because he had spent the last thirty years and seven months missing Elzy so ferociously that vivid dreams about her regularly woke him at night.
Darby’s smile faded. “But having him appear out of the blue like that…being so totally unprepared…”
“You didn’t know he was a landscaper?”
“I did. But the wedding was the only thing on my mind. I was thinking caterers, contractors, painters… And most of that crew is my family. It never occurred to me that my brother would be interviewing landscapers when he only hired the designer a day ago.”
He pulled a dress shirt from the closet. “How long were you together?”
“Oh, you don’t want to hear the whole story.” She batted her hand. “It’s not a good one.”
“Up to you.” He chose a pair of black slacks. “But if you want to talk about it, I’m right here.” Anxiety had him fumbling, and the pants slid off the hanger.
Damnit . It sucked knowing Elzy was a few rooms down the hall, and he couldn’t be with her.
The fear he’d never get a chance to talk to her was suffocating.
“He grew up east of here in a place called Hofn. It’s a seaside town, and his parents owned a gift shop. They didn’t have much money, and Emil had a big appetite.”
“Are you saying they couldn’t pay for his food?” he asked.
She laughed. “No, I meant an appetite for learning, for experiencing things…” She caught his gaze. “For sex. And his little town wasn’t enough, so when he was sixteen, he spent the summer in Reykjavik. My mom’s retired now, but she used to own a little café where I worked every holiday. Emil got a job there too, and we started dating. The connection was…” She shivered. “So much passion.” Her eyes clouded, and her features pinched with pain. “So much love.”
“What happened?”
“Oh, you know. Teenage drama. We fought all the time. He went back to Hofn for the school year, and it was hard to communicate. Back then, we didn’t have cell phones, and the whole family shared a computer. One time, he’d grown distant, and I was convinced he was sleeping with another girl, so I stole my mom’s car and drove out there to surprise him.” She had a wistful expression. “Turns out, he was working extra jobs so he could buy a car to come see me more regularly.”
“What made you finally break up?”
“It’s so embarrassing.” She opened a travel jewelry box and pulled out earrings. “We’d come up with this idea of slow traveling the world. We’d live off whatever we could earn from odd jobs here and there. His parents didn’t think it was a great idea, but they knew he had to figure it out on his own. My parents wanted me on the college track. They made me apply to all the top schools in England, France, and America. I did it to keep them off my back, but I had no intention of going.”
He sat on the bed to put on his socks and black leather dress shoes.
“Anyhow, the summer after high school, when we were earning money for our trip, he told me he couldn’t go.” She tipped her head to put on a diamond stud. “Keep in mind, I’d turned down all the universities that had accepted me, so this was really upsetting news. But his dad had a heart attack, and he had to go back home. I figured he’d help out at the store, and then come back, and we’d be off on our adventure. But he didn’t come back.”
“Was his dad okay?” He tied the laces.
“Yeah, he was fine, but Emil decided, just in case something did happen, he couldn’t be thousands of miles away and leave his mom alone. And I guess… I don’t know. Something just felt fishy about the whole story.”
“Maybe there was more to his dad’s diagnosis. Some people are private about medical things.”
“Where were you twenty-six years ago?” She laughed. “Not that my teenage self would’ve listened. Oh, no. That girl had her mom drive her out to visit him. And I was about to go into the store when I saw him talking to the same ‘friend’ I thought he was sleeping with. She was pregnant.” Her fingers fisted in her sweater. “I stood there watching them—I mean, they didn’t touch or anything. He was just so…concerned about her. So invested . I don’t know. Anyhow, my mom dragged me back to the car, drove me home, and got me out of the country a few days later. Turns out, my parents had paid the deposit on three of the schools—one in New York, one in Los Angeles, and one in?—”
“North Carolina.”
She smiled. “Exactly. So, I left and never looked back.”
Finished dressing, he got up, grabbed his wallet and room key from the dresser, and slid them into his pocket. “Ready to go?”
She nodded, and they headed to the door.
“Neither of you reached out over the years?” he asked.
“He sent two letters. The first one said it wasn’t his story to tell, but that he wasn’t the father, and he’d never slept with anyone but me. The second basically told me to go fuck myself.”
He closed the door behind them. “That was harsh.” He couldn’t help checking the hallway for Elzy and went hyperalert for sounds as they passed her room. “Did he actually say that?”
“No. He said he was sorry for putting that girl’s secrets over our relationship, that he regretted it, and that if I gave him a chance, he’d make it up to me. But then, he ended it with, ‘And I’ll work on trying to forgive you for bailing on me without even a conversation.’”
“Ouch.” Though he had to respect the guy’s stance.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t respond?” he asked.
“No, because nothing had changed. He still couldn’t leave Hofn. What kind of life would that have been for me?”
A beautiful one. A perfect one.
Elzy had once told him the film wasn’t their only hope for making money. That they could create a business together. At the time, he didn’t have her vision, so he’d signed the contract without talking to her.
Once he’d figured it out, he’d have done anything to go back to that motel room and reject the offer. By that point, of course, he’d found out about Cole, and it was too late.
As they neared the meeting point, his pulse pounded. Was Elzy there? He quickened his pace. “But you thought about him over the years?” He rounded the corner to find the lobby empty.
Fuck.
All right. It’s fine.
It’s not like she left town.
You’re going to see her.
“Well, I have this neat party trick. When I have a negative feeling—anger, hurt, whatever—I immediately drown it with a justification. So, every time I thought about Emil, I’d tell myself our relationship was too dramatic, that we’d have been miserable together, or that it was impossible since neither of us could compromise.” She shrugged. “It’s my superpower.”
“And now?”
“And now… I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I’d answered his letter. If I hadn’t been so prideful.”
“So, you’ll go to coffee, and you’ll talk to him.”
“I’m never moving back here. And who knows if we’d even still get along. We were kids.”
“Darby. Talk to him.”
Her gaze wandered, unseeing, across the empty lobby, and then, she gave a nod. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”
“Where is everyone?” It was a two-hour drive into the city. He wanted to be sure he sat next to Elzy. His blood went hot just thinking about being near her.
She pulled her phone out of her clutch. “Let me check the group chat.”
One of the things he missed most—that he’d never had with anyone else—was the way the world disappeared when he was with Elzy. When their bodies were pressed together, when her scent filled his senses, and he was wholly consumed by her. By them . That was peace. That was when he felt his best self. Complete.
Happy.
And without it, he was just wandering the earth.
It sounded dramatic, but it was true. He didn’t feel connected to anything, didn’t have a passion for anything.
But Elzy.
“They left.” Darby sounded surprised.
“What do you mean? They said we’re leaving at noon.”
“Jessica wanted to hit some shops in town, so they went early.”
“And they didn’t tell us?” Of course not.
She wants to leave me behind.
She didn’t know what it did to him, how it drove him back to the worst time in his life. That first time he’d gone home, so sure he’d get to see her, talk to her, explain . But she’d hidden from him. It was like racing through a maze that had no exit. His frustration had blown up into a wild, panicked desperation as he looked for her everywhere but never once found her.
Well, fuck that. She’s not putting me through that shit again.
“How’re we going to get there?” he asked.
“How are you with driving a stick?”
“I’m a farm boy. I can drive anything. Let’s go.”
You want to play, Elz?
Game on.
She was not going to make this easy.
Trevor sat across from Elzy at a small table in the corner of a busy kitchen. She seemed determined to treat him like a stranger.
Fine. But her indifference didn’t match the fire in her eyes when they’d talked privately.
So, which is it, Elz? Is the love dead and gone, or is there hope for us?
A server approached the table with a white porcelain pitcher, leaning over Trevor to pour soup into a bowl. “This is a cold tomato consommé.”
Elzy’s hand shot out to stop him. “No. No tomato for him.” She went right back to her conversation with the chef as though she hadn’t just defended him from the dreaded fruit like she would’ve done when they were teenagers.
And that was his answer. Her instinct to protect him was all the confirmation he needed. The connection was still there. It wasn’t one-sided. All he had to do was calm down. Stop trying so hard. Give her the time and space to let down her guard.
“Are you allergic?” Darby asked.
The comment snagged Elzy’s attention.
“No, I just can’t stand them.” Even the smell made his stomach tighten and his throat close.
“What about tomato sauce?” Darby asked. “Wait a minute. When we had that pizza party in Marco’s trailer, I noticed you didn’t eat anything. What’s up with that?”
“Let’s just say I’ve had my fill of them.” When he cut Elzy a look, he saw a ghost of a smile crossing her face. “But please enjoy the consommé.”
“Cooked, raw?” Darby asked. “Or just tomatoes in general?”
“Oh, this smells so good.” Elzy watched a different server approach with a tray of small plates.
He appreciated her attempt to distract Darby, but it didn’t work. “Just tell me. What’s the deal with tomatoes?” she asked.
He’d never told stories about his life because he didn’t want to shine a spotlight on his parents or anyone from his community. They were good people, and they didn’t need media and fans descending on him.
His parents might be gone now, but he’d still preserve their integrity. “My mom had a garden, and in lean times, we’d eat whatever she’d grown that season.”
“The infamous tomato season,” Elzy said.
Everyone smiled, and he nodded. They seemed appeased, and conversation resumed. He gave Elzy a subtle nod of thanks.
But his mind kept replaying the way her hand shot out to cover his bowl. Because she’d always looked out for him. And he’d needed it. His parents were good, hardworking people, but the farm took up all their time and energy. In bad times, when weather or disease got the crops, food was scarce.
One summer, they lived off two ingredients: tomatoes and bread. His mom tried hard to be inventive. Tomato soup, tomato pie, tomato salad…marinated, baked, broiled… Everything she could think of to make it palatable.
By July, he was so sick of it, he couldn’t even come to the table for dinner.
And what did Elzy do? She’d ride her bike over to his house with a sandwich. She’d pack a slice of pie into her lunch bag. Every time he’d come to visit, she’d have cookies for him, still warm from the oven.
She’d looked out for him—and what had he done with her love? Her devotion? He’d cast it aside for some ingrained sense of duty.
Only when Darby tapped his thigh and asked, “What’s yours?” did he realize how lost he’d gotten in memories.
He had no idea what they were talking about, so he was grateful when Elzy stepped in. “I’ll tell you mine. As a college graduation present, I took my sisters to Italy. We had the best time. All the pasta and gelato. Yummy. But then, we went to a little town called Siena, and we found a restaurant on this narrow, cobblestone street. It was the most perfect meal I’ve ever had.”
“Do you remember what it was?” Trevor asked because he wished he’d been with her. He wanted to merge their memories, experience hers as if they were his own.
He’d missed out on so much.
Fierce determination gripped him. Because while he couldn’t get that time back, he could make sure he didn’t miss one more second with her.
“You bet I do. I had the lightest, freshest gnudi with the most delicious sauce to ever get in my mouth. It was so good we splurged on dessert, and it was hands-down the best tiramisu I’ve ever had in my life. I remember every detail to this day.”
He wanted to share that taste memory with her. Wanted to stroll down the cobblestone street with her, hand in hand. “My best meal ever was when I was fifteen.”
Elzy tensed. Her gaze sharpened.
“Fifteen?” Darby laughed. “Let me guess. It was a burger at Hooters.”
“Nope. As we headed into the fall harvest, I had to miss a couple of football games, and my coach kicked me off the team.” And that right there—the way their smiles faltered—was why he didn’t share stories from his past. Because they made people uncomfortable.
What they didn’t understand was that his childhood had made him into the man he was today. It made him strong and relentless.
“But my best friend invited me over, and when I got to her house, she had a big family dinner for me.” Even as kids, they understood their differences. Where Elzy needed to be quiet when she got upset, Trevor, as an only child of parents who constantly worked, needed to be surrounded by people who supported him.
“Her?” Darby asked. “Your best friend at fifteen was a girl?”
He nodded. “She made mac and cheese, burgers, chips and dip, and ice cream sundaes for dessert.” He could still see the bright red maraschino cherry sitting on top of the pile of whipped cream. “Best dinner ever.”
Elzy watched him, giving no clue what she was thinking. But through a tiny crack in her facade, he saw a glimmer of softness.
Hope roared through him. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to contain it.
Because he saw it. The connection. It was still there.
It was just covered by a mound of hurt and anger that had hardened with every passing year.
That was on him.
So, he’d keep digging down to the heart of her. And he wouldn’t give up.
He’d die trying.
“That’s really nice.” Darby gave him a warm smile. She rubbed his thigh.
And just like that, Elzy stiffened. She turned her attention to the servers. “Ah. Great. The next course.”
Darby figured out her mistake and removed her hand, but it was too late.
The connection broke, and there was no restoring it.
Dammit.
Now, he had to wait for another opportunity. Preferably, time alone with her.
But the day after tomorrow, she’d leave for Snaefellsnes, and she didn’t need him or Darby to accompany her.
He was running out of time.