Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
A s the sun rose the next morning, Ava stared at the virtual button on her computer screen.
Her favorite New York cafés where she liked to grab coffee, the static bustle of the busy streets she jogged down, her go-to Chinese take-out restaurant where everyone knew her by name—they all flashed in her memory as her hand hovered over the center of the laptop.
She tapped the mouse pad, selecting the button, and a message popped onto the screen.
Congratulations! Your flight is booked. You’re going to New York!
Her flight itinerary, ticket number, and boarding information filled the screen. She’d bought her ticket home. She was leaving Nashville on Monday.
Prior to buying her ticket, Ava had emailed her doctor to see if she could finish her therapy at Columbia-Presbyterian.
She’d also emailed everyone at work to confirm she’d be in the following Wednesday to give her the motivation to actually buy her ticket.
Rachel was already asking to bring her coffee, and Scott said she should ease back in, coming to work for half days until she felt strong enough to manage an entire eight hours .
He was probably right. It was easy enough to take a slow stroll down a park path or lift herself up one tree, but the daily grind of New York City was another gauntlet entirely.
Ava had gotten her four accounts up to date, so her workload was still low, and she’d scheduled meetings with all of the account holders the week after she got back, so she’d be sitting much of the time.
Even though she was getting her mind around returning to her life in the city, a part of her was unquestionably melancholy about leaving.
She still had to help her mother make all those bags, somehow, from New York.
Maybe her mom would want to come stay with her and make them in her apartment.
But flying with her sewing machine and supplies might be difficult.
And there was Lucas.
He’d be okay. From what she’d seen, he’d rounded a corner.
Maybe he was certain about the presence of heaven now, and he definitely had a different outlook on the future.
Elise would take over from here on out. He’d buy his little farmhouse, drive his old truck, and enjoy the rest of his life.
While Ava selfishly wanted him back, maybe the current outcome was what God had meant for her.
By finding Lucas Phillips, she’d saved his life.
She hadn’t set out to and didn’t really take credit for it, but that was how God worked—through people.
In her time after the accident, Ava had come full circle. She’d found a sense of belonging and family that she’d lost. She’d also gotten a new perspective on work, and she promised herself she wouldn’t let it consume her the way it had previously.
A knock on the office door drew her attention away from the computer screen.
“I made my pumpkin pancakes. ”
Ava’s eyes widened. “As long as I’ve been alive, you’ve only made those on Christmas morning.”
“Well, like I said, with you home, every morning is like Christmas.” Her mother gave her awink. “Want some?”
Ava pushed away the regret she had over leaving. She couldn’t stay forever. She was supposed to live out the rest of her life, right?
She got up from the desk. “Silly question,” she teased, following Martha into the kitchen.
Her mother stacked two pancakes on a plate and drizzled them with maple syrup, then handed them to Ava over the counter before plating a couple for herself.
“I bought my ticket home,” Ava said, sitting at the kitchen table.
“Oh?” Martha set a cup of coffee in front of Ava and then brought her own dishes to the table.
“I’m flying out Monday.”
“Gosh, the time flew with you here.”
“Are you going to be okay on your own?” Ava asked.
“I’m used to it.” Her mother offered a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She looked out the window.
A light mist hung in the air, making the fallen leaves shimmer on the wooden deck outside.
“Would you like to come with me?” Ava asked.
“I’ll be busy here at the house. I’ve got all those bags to make.”
“Yeah, I figured you’d need to have your sewing machine. I’m still going to help you get them done, and I want you to show me how to sew them on the machine. If I’m good enough, maybe I could get my own machine and take a few home to work on them.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
Ava picked up her coffee, the rising steam sending a roasted caramel scent into the air. “ Why not?”
“The bags are my thing. You have your whole life going on in New York. You need to get back to it.”
“Yeah,” Ava agreed, but her answer didn’t sound as convincing as she’d have liked.
That afternoon, while her mother ran out to get groceries, Ava opted to stay back and sit by the lake.
She’d always imagined people who had near-death experiences came back with some renewed purpose, some extra sense of why we’re here, but she hadn’t.
She knew she’d completed her mission, but if anything, she’d come back more confused about her future.
The words she’d heard ran through her mind: Find Lucas Phillips and live out the rest of your life .
She searched for additional meaning within them, but came up empty.
Sure, she could see her purpose in coming back was to help Lucas and to build a stronger relationship with her mom.
That made total sense. Lucas’s life, and her mother’s, would be better than they were before.
But would hers? Until recently, finding Lucas was the part that had made sense.
But “live out the rest of your life” didn’t give her much guidance.
Before her near-death experience, Ava had been a force to be reckoned with.
Now, as she looked up at the towering trees and the expansive lake in front of her, she felt small.
Her reality had changed. Life was no longer this two-dimensional existence of wakefulness and sleep, seizing the day and planning for the future before rest. There was a third option: being outside that wakefulness and sleep, and existing in the moment.
Ava had to accept not knowing the plan. If she focused on the now, she’d simply exist by this lake—which was what she really wanted to do, but that couldn’t be her earthly existence.
There was no place for people who wanted to spend their lives in the moment, simply existing.
She had to go back to her old life, but her old work ethic didn’t resonate the way it had.
She still wanted to do her best, but her drive was based on a different reality, one that didn’t include success and money as the ultimate reward but, instead, happiness and fulfillment.
Her drive was becoming more about being with people and doing good things.
She enjoyed helping her mother quilt, something she’d never considered only a few months ago.
She wanted to attend church more often, and begin digging into her religious beliefs.
But she had to make a living. She had to afford her high-rent apartment, and even if she sold it, she’d still have to pay for something else. How could she live in this environment when money and status didn’t really motivate her anymore?
Ava pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her cold fingers when a breeze blew through the trees. As if floating on top of the wind, the words “ You’re not finished yet” sailed into her ears, stopping her thought in its tracks.
She sat up straight in the chair, scanning the water, the sky, the fallen leaves on the edge of the deck, looking for something—anything—to tell her more.
What? I’ve done everything you’ve asked.
What else could she possibly have to do? How would she know how to follow the second half of her command in a way that would fulfill whatever this heavenly promise had included?
But then, an overwhelming sense of the feeling she had before—the now —washed over her, and her anxiety relented.
She would heal her life the same way she’d healed herself: one small decision at a time. If she took things step by step, maybe the answers would fall into her lap.