Chapter 7 Kaira
KAIRA
In our family, my mom was the one that loved weird situations.
The one that said everything happened for a reason even if we couldn't understand the reason just yet.
She was the one who provided guidance when everything seemed to be falling apart, while our dad was a silent force, just nodding at everything she said.
Me, on another hand—I hated thinking that everything happened for a reason, primarily because that meant I wasn't in charge of my own destiny. It meant there was something written somewhere about me and my life and I couldn't live it how I wanted to.
It also meant that some invisible force was pulling me in the direction I had to go, and every single one of my decisions was already written somewhere, just waiting to be revealed in time.
So, yeah, I hated this veil of weirdness and the fact that the moment we entered The Hollow Grind Cafe, the chatter inside seemed to die and everyone's eyes were on me.
I hated even thinking about the fact that someone wrote my family was supposed to die in an accident, so I could come to this weird place, searching for answers.
I couldn't help but notice a complete change in Christian's demeanor when he heard my last name, or the fact that he kept looking over my shoulder as if someone was waiting there in the fog, ready to snatch us both. I also didn't miss the way he kept glancing my way and frowning while he did it.
Christian ignored my question when I asked him if he had met another Vale before, and while I didn't use my father's last name when I introduced myself, I wondered if that would be an even bigger red flag for the massive man now standing in front of me, talking with someone behind the counter.
My foot kept tapping against the floor as minutes passed, dread coiling in my gut as I stood there, waiting for something to happen.
I wish my mom were here. I wish Thalia were here. I wish my dad were here, because if they were, they would've been able to calm my nerves.
"I wish you were here, Mom," I murmured, hugging myself as Christian stepped away from the counter, finally revealing the person he was talking to.
An elderly woman stepped in front of the counter and took a step toward me.
Her gray hair and kind eyes put me at ease almost immediately, showing a complete contrast to Christian's spooked behavior.
I had no idea why he dragged me toward her, but whatever the reason was, I had a feeling she was the one that could help me.
I felt it in my gut as she came closer, her hands clasped in front of her, completely ignoring Christian as he stood behind her, watching me warily. Now he reminded me of the other strangers I had seen on my walk earlier this morning, but it didn't matter. Not anymore.
"You must be Kaira," an elderly lady said, her lips pulling into a smile. "I'm Macy Wren," she added as she placed her hand on my shoulder. "Welcome to Ashbourne, Kaira."
"Uh, thank you?" I didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but with all the weirdness surrounding my arrival to town, I didn't know how to act anymore. She didn't seem to be too taken aback by my cold and confused demeanor and if anything, it only made her smile brighter.
"You're going to have to forgive my nephew." She turned toward Christian. "He was dropped one too many times on his head when he was a baby."
"Auntie Macy," the man exclaimed, making me laugh for the first time since I left the B&B this morning. "That's mean."
"Well," she shrugged, "it's the truth. Now, be a good boy and get us some coffee and two sandwiches. It is time for me to take my break."
Christian looked at her, then at me, then back at her, and with a shake of his head he seemed to have accepted his fate, and instead of arguing with an old woman, he walked behind the counter, took off his jacket, and got to work.
"Come now," Macy said, guiding me toward the same booth I had seen when we just entered. "You and I need to talk."
Silence enveloped us as soon as we sat down, with Macy looking at me as if she were just waiting for this day to happen.
I didn't know what to make out of this entire situation. First with Christian's reaction to me, then that weird fucking hallucination, and now with Macy looking at me as if I were her long-lost daughter.
"I don't really know what I'm doing here." I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind, because I actually had no idea what I was doing here.
A part of me wanted to go back to that B&B, pack up my bags, and go back home.
The other, much bigger, part of me wanted to talk to Macy and see if she knew anything about my mom and my parents.
She was definitely in her sixties, maybe even seventies, judging by the lines on her face and the wisdom that kept swirling in her green eyes.
The eyes that instantly reminded me of a dream I kept having and of a man that wouldn't leave me alone.
"I think you do know what you're doing here, but you're scared."
"I'm not scared." I was, but I didn't want to admit it out loud.
I was mostly scared I was chasing something just to feel anything other than the suffocating pain over the loss of those I loved the most. I was terrified that I was chasing ghosts just to feel closer to them in some weird way.
There was a high chance I wouldn't find anything at the end of this road and I was just going through my savings with no real plan on what to do afterwards.
What would I even do if I managed to find my biological father? I already had a dad and I loved him more than anything in this entire world, so what could this stranger provide me that Benjamin couldn't?
The fact that he was alive? Or the fact that I needed to know more about my mom's past.
"I think you are scared, darling," Macy said with a small smile, "and that's perfectly normal. I'm also pretty sure your mom doesn't know you're here."
"My mom is dead." I said it so matter-of-factly, shocking her instantly.
Macy's eyes went wide, her already pallid complexion paling further, and if I didn't know better, I could swear she was on the verge of crying.
"Sorry, I threw that out there just like that.
She died almost a year ago, together with my dad and my younger sister, Thalia. "
Her hand flew to her mouth as she whispered, "Oh, God."
"I was the only survivor of that accident," I added, touching the scar on my left eyebrow.
"And truth be told," I looked into her green eyes, "I don't even know how I survived.
I don't know how I got out of the car. I don't know anything anymore," I ranted.
"The only thing I do know is that my mom mentioned this place in her journals and the island. "
Macy sat still, barely moving as I mentioned the island.
"Nevermere Island," I mumbled, as if I too was afraid of anybody else hearing about it. Macy looked around us and just as she was about to open her mouth, Christian came by, bringing over the two coffees and sandwiches Macy had asked him to make.
"Two coffees," he placed them on the table, "and two club sandwiches," he added, avoiding looking at me. I had no idea what I had said to make him so standoffish with me, and I probably wasn't going to find out.
"Thank you," I murmured, taking a slow sip of the black coffee he had placed in front of me. Macy did the same, looking at me over the rim of the cup, letting the silence stretch between us as Christian left the table.
I was usually okay with silence. Some of my favorite memories were the ones where I sat with the people I loved as silence enveloped us, because we didn't need to talk to understand each other.
We didn't need to fill the space with unnecessary blabbering just because the silence felt a little bit uncomfortable.
Right now I did feel uncomfortable. Maybe because Macy kept looking at me as if she were trying to get a read on me, or maybe because my entire body still kept buzzing from all the weird encounters I've had so far, but whatever it was, I didn't like it. Not one bit.
"I knew your mother," Macy finally said, breaking through the thick layer of silence wrapped around us.
"I didn't know her well, but I did know her.
" Hearing that was just another proof that this was right where I was supposed to be.
"But I'm not sure if she would've wanted you to be here, looking for the ghosts of the past, my child.
There's a reason why your mother left the island. "
My heart skipped a beat as she mentioned her leaving the island. Hell, it was the first time anyone other than me had mentioned the island, and it felt like the reassurance I needed to stop me from thinking I was going insane.
"Do you know the reason?" I asked, instead of asking about the island immediately.
She wasn't as wary of me as her nephew was, but there was still something behind her eyes telling her to tread carefully.
Ever since the accident, reading other people came naturally to me, seeing behind the masks they wore, which eventually helped to solidify my decision to leave my previous job.
When people don't really care about you and your well-being, you have nothing else left to do but to leave.
So, I did.
But Macy didn't look at me as if she didn't care.
She didn't sit like a woman that was afraid of me or the truth only she knew.
She looked at me as if she was scared for me.
She looked at me as if this was the last thing she ever expected to do and whatever it was that made my mom run from the island, was obviously something big enough to make an old lady like Macy Wren afraid for me.
"I need to know," I added after a minute too long when no answer came from her.
"I know it's insane. I know it makes no sense going back to a place she obviously left for a reason, but I need to know, Mrs. Wren.
I need to know more than I need to breathe.
" My voice wobbled. "I need to know they didn't die in vain.
I need to fucking know what happened and why she never spoke of her past. Why was she so scared?
Why did she run away from my biological father?
" Macy took a deep breath, leaning on the table as the words erupted from me.
"I need to know," I whispered, and for the first time since I started on this journey, I was admitting out loud what this was all about.
My curiosity and my need to run away from the darkness swallowing all the good things I still had in my life.
"So, please." I took a hold of her hands clasped in front of her and begged. "Please tell me. At least tell me I'm not insane and that the island truly exists. Tell me I didn't come all this way for nothing."
Macy smiled softly, squeezing my hands. "I'll tell you what I told your mother almost thirty years ago.
" She took a moment, dragging her thumb over the top of my hand.
"You can't run away from destiny, no matter how hard you might try to.
You can't run from who you're supposed to be, no matter what, which is why I knew one day you'd be back here. "
My brow furrowed, but I didn't dare to open my mouth for fear of somehow stopping her from talking.
"I do not know why she ran away, Kaira," Macy added.
"She never spoke of her reasons, but I know she was afraid and she was heartbroken.
I have never seen another person so heartbroken.
" My heart clenched painfully, just imagining what my mom was going through all those years ago.
"So yes, I know she wouldn't want you to be back here where her journey with Nevermere Island ended, but as I've said, I also knew you would be back.
" She leaned back, letting go of my hands.
"Destiny cannot be escaped. It can be played with, maybe even taunted and sometimes molded to fit our own needs, but never escaped.
You can't run away from what you are, from who you are. "
"What do you mean?"
Her head tilted, examining me, her eyes scanning every part of my face. "I mean—"
"Auntie Macy," Christian interrupted, "I truly am sorry to bother you, but a new delivery came and they're asking to speak with you."
I looked at him, annoyed by the fact that he was interrupting just when she was about to tell me something important. But Macy just looked at him, smiled, and nodded.
"I'll be there in just a moment, darling.
Give me five minutes." Christian simply nodded and looked at me with an apologetic expression on his face, but the moment was broken.
Whatever it was that Macy was about to tell me was lost, and when she looked back at me, gone was the expression she wore earlier.
"There's a ferry leaving from the pier at six in the morning tomorrow," she said instead. "It'll take you where you need to go."
Macy stood up, as if she had completely forgotten about our conversation mere seconds ago.
"Wait." I stood up with her, stopping her in her tracks. "You didn't tell me. You were about to tell me what you meant with those words."
She rounded the table and placed her hand on my shoulder, the top of her head barely reaching my chin.
"All will be revealed when it's supposed to, Kaira.
But ask yourself—is the truth you're seeking something that you want or something you need?
Because some ghosts are meant to stay just that, ghosts, and some stories are better left unfinished.
" She nodded to herself, before letting her hand drop, and stepped back. "Think about it, okay?"
Her words made me stop, but every single thought led to an outcome I was already familiar with.
The truth existing somewhere out there was calling to me.
I could sense it deep inside my voice, calling my name.
And just like in my dreams, there was something here beyond my understanding.
Something that made my mom run and never go back to her home.
Something that stopped her from ever telling me the truth.
Perhaps the truth wouldn't be what I wanted, but it was better than living inside this purgatory, even if it broke my heart. Macy didn't tell me all the answers, but she did confirm the island exists. She confirmed there is a ferry, and that's at least a start, if nothing else.