Chapter 18 Kaira #2
"As expected," he rasped, as his finger descended lower, reaching the edge of my lips. "The rain stopped."
His words felt like a cold bucket of water splashing me, waking me up from the insanity I was slowly descending into.
The finger he kept on my skin disappeared, leaving me cold, bare, and I hated him just a little bit more for making me feel this way.
My feet were rooted to the ground, yet for a couple of seconds, minutes, however long had passed, it felt as if I were floating.
As if that simple touch was everything I ever needed.
There was no pain, no regrets, no fear while he touched me, and I wanted it again.
I wanted the weightless feeling to come back.
I craved it more than my next breath, just like an addict craving their next fix.
He was dangerous, powerful, but as I stood there, looking up at him, I felt safer than I ever did before.
My eyes flickered over the tan skin, dark eyebrows, and the frown etched between them.
I inspected him more than I managed to do yesterday, locating the scar I somehow knew he had even before I saw it, and then I saw the tattoo, the rune that flashed brightly yesterday, illuminating that entire room.
"This doesn't mean anything," I said, clearing my throat. "It was just the morning rain."
"Was it?" He chuckled darkly. "I think you're lying to yourself, darling. I think you're pretending, ignoring what's right in front of you, because you would rather live in a lie than accept the truth."
I hated those words and the turmoil they created within me, because I knew he was right.
Ever since I stepped on this island, I could feel it.
The energy, the power, living just underneath my feet, waiting to be released.
But more than that, I could feel it within me. I could feel the call of this island.
Just like I could feel his energy. Just like I could see the shadows reaching for me, crying, begging for just one more touch.
"You all are saying I am powerful, but my only power my entire life was the power of deduction."
"Yes," he murmured. "Until the accident that took your parents away from you." My face paled. "Tell me, Kaira." He leaned closer, our lips mere inches from each other's. "When was the first time you dreamed of me?"
When was the first time you dreamed of me? kept echoing in my head as I stared at him, unable to find the words.
Did the accident somehow awaken my powers?
Not that I knew what those were, but ever since that day I could feel things.
Sense them in the way I couldn't before.
I could see shadows playing in the dark corners of a room, thinking it was my mind playing tricks on me.
I could see the way animals reacted to me.
The way people avoided me on the street, and not just in Ashbourne.
Those expectant eyes kept searching my face, looking for answers even I didn't have.
"The first night," I croaked. "But I didn't see you.
I couldn't even feel you," I whispered, hating how weak my voice sounded.
"I couldn't feel anything but the pain spreading from my stomach through the rest of my body. "
I straightened, bringing our faces closer. "I couldn't see you, but I could see your eyes. I could feel your…" I stopped myself, unable to voice it.
"You could feel what?" He tilted his head.
"Your pain," I blurted out, unable to lie to him.
"I could feel your grief. I could feel your devastation as if it were my own.
" He frowned, those lips parting as I kept going.
"I could sense you, and I thought you were a figment of my imagination, somehow created by my mind, because I didn't want to live. "
"No," he thundered, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck, pulling me into him. His entire body shook, wrapped around me like a shield, protecting me from the outside world. The shadows enveloping him welcomed me in their embrace, and just like at the meadow, I could hear them.
The calls.
The cries.
The screams.
And instead of fear and the need to run away, I wrapped my fingers around his wrists, letting him suffocate me in his darkness. I would drown a happy woman in the eternal sea of shadows if it meant staying here just like this, far away from the rest of the world.
"You don't get to die on me again," he mumbled, barely loud enough for me to hear. But I heard it.
I heard the implication that he had let me die before. I felt the grief, the fear lacing every single word. I was as familiar with his pain as I was with my own. It was already wrapped around my bones, tightening viciously the longer he held me. "You don't get to even think about that."
I had a million questions, but I knew he wouldn't give me straight answers.
His fingers wrapped around my braid, fisting it as he pushed my head father into his chest. I could barely breathe, yet I didn't care.
Since my entire world collapsed. Since everything changed, this was the first time I had allowed myself to relax. This was the first time I didn't blame myself for what happened.
"I don't even know how I survived that night," I rasped, my voice muffled by his shirt. "I don't know how I got out of the car, but I did. I was out and they weren't. And the only injury, the only gift I was left with, was the scar on my eyebrow. How's that fair!"
"It's not," he answered, the rumble of his voice vibrating under my ear, just through his chest. "But it was meant to be."
Yet I couldn't accept it. I refused to accept it, but maybe that is how it's meant to be. Unable to accept the destiny of those I had lost.
"You're making it rain again," he said, breaking through the momentary silence between us. His hand dropped down on my shoulder, slowly pushing me back and away from him. "I'm sorry for suffocating you," he added, looking anywhere but at me. "That won't happen again."
"Why?"
His eyes found mine before looking to the side, allowing me a glimpse into the depths of hell he was living in. "You need to stop the rain, Kaira," he simply said, ignoring my question. Ignoring the need wreaking havoc on my insides.
He was so close, yet so far away, distancing himself from me with each passing second.
Frowning, I refused to look away from him even when he looked away from me. Even as he ignored me standing in front of him. Even as the skies darkened further, he refused to look at me.
And I refused to back down.
"Who are you to me?" I asked boldly, too tired of these games, of all these questions and the lack of answers. "Who are you, truly?"
I thought he wouldn't answer. I thought he wouldn't say a thing. But as he looked down, I could see his defeat staring back at me. I could see the longing mirroring my own.
Closing his eyes, he took a step closer and pressed his forehead to mine, and whispered against my lips, "A stranger in this life." Those green orbs were visible once more, swallowing me in the shadows living within them. "But once upon a time, I was everything."
My heart roared as I shuddered, feeling the conviction in those words. Feeling everything he felt.
Warm lips pressed against my forehead. "I'm sorry, love. I can't stay. I…" He took a step back. "I can't."
And as if he was never there, the shadows swirling around him swallowed him whole, removing any evidence of the man who shook my world and left me with a gaping hole in the center of my being.