16. A Date for the Brokenhearted
M in Sangheon always saved everyone a spot.
When he first discovered his mother was impregnated by a man who wasn’t his own father, Sangheon still saved his soon-to-be baby brother a spot in his room, hoping one day they would get along regardless of their circumstances. Instead, their mother dropped Sangheon off at his father’s house and never came back to pick him up.
When he first spent his summer vacation at his father’s newly constructed rest house, Sangheon saved his mother a spot in the backseat of their car, only to end up alone again when she called to tell him she couldn’t come after all.
When he had his first pony ride at the park, he saved his mother a ticket so they could experience it together. In the end, his father showed up, informing him of his mother’s sudden departure from the country—away from him. That was when Sangheon realized she had given him up and that he would never see her again. Not when she had a new family, a new husband, and a new son.
At age fourteen, Sangheon had a crush for the first time. He carved out a special space in his heart and reserved it for a boy in his neighborhood, only to feel the brittle sting of rejection. Then, at the age of eighteen—Sangheon fell for a certain brunette in his class, yet another boy.
Jang Jihoon.
Just the day before, Sangheon had watched Wooju drag Yunho into the school’s greenhouse. He recognized Wooju; he’d once caught the boy drawing his friend on a piece of paper. He knew there was something going on between them, and he was ready to support them, if ever.
Sangheon was going to leave and go home, but then he spotted Jihoon with those bouncy brown curls and an injured ankle, limping toward the statue near the greenhouse. Sangheon’s eyes lit up with excitement. He waved and greeted the brunette with a big, warm smile.
He simply wanted to make a good impression. Perhaps he could help the boy carry his bag and books or accompany him on the way home. He could even offer the boy a cheesy piggyback ride.
Jihoon’s gaze shifted toward the commotion in the greenhouse, though, and Sangheon’s joy turned into concern. Was that a flicker of jealousy in Jihoon’s eyes?
Sangheon was going to keep Jihoon from following Wooju and Yunho, but his feet moved on their own, halting only when Jihoon did.
He, too, saw what happened in the greenhouse.
The argument. The kiss.
If Jihoon had not been there, Sangheon would’ve been more excited to witness his friend kissing a boy, but Jihoon was there. And he knew.
When you observe someone for too long, you end up knowing everything about them, even the things you don’t want to.
Jihoon likes Yunho.
When Jihoon spun around, Sangheon was already there, standing and waiting with his eyes filled with empathy.
Without warning, the rain began to fall.
And Sangheon’s heart shattered. Just a little.
Or maybe a lot.
He barely knew the boy, but for some reason, Sangheon felt like he knew Jihoon well enough to have him fracture his heart and force the knot in his stomach to radiate into his chest. Even with the heavy downpour, the tears streaming down Jihoon’s face stood out, and Sangheon wanted to ask why. Why was Jihoon still at school if he had a sprain? Why did he look sad? Why couldn’t he look at him with a smile? Why Ri Yunho?
Sangheon was never good with words of affirmation. He didn’t know what to say at that moment except, “Jihoon, do you want to go on a date with me tonight?”
Sangheon could’ve sworn Jihoon called him a weirdo first, but it didn’t matter. At least he was talking.
“Why would I go on a date with you?” Jihoon managed to croak out, his hands gripping the straps of his backpack.
“Because I can’t get you out of my mind.” Sangheon’s confession flowed effortlessly from his lips, as if unveiling one’s soul in a moment of vulnerability were the easiest thing to do. “I like you a lot, and I hate that you’re crying, which is why I want to take you on a date. I want to take you somewhere you’ll be happy.”
“You idiot, I’m not crying.” Jihoon looked away, gulping down the rest of his tears. “It’s raining.”
“Yes, you are,” Sangheon said, his tone firm. “Your glasses are a little foggy and wet, but your eyes are clearly red. You’re obviously stifling a sob like the genius you are, and I know why. I’m not blind. I know what hurt looks like.”
Jihoon shot Sangheon a glowering look, and he was going to keep at it to challenge the taller boy before him, but the weight of his emotions seemed too heavy to bear.
Jihoon let out a defeated sigh, his tears falling again. “Fine,” he relented. “Okay, I cried, but don’t tell anyone. Just... leave me alone, okay?”
Why do they never choose me? Sangheon wanted to ask. His mother, his first crush, and now Jihoon.
Sangheon held back, afraid this boy would push him away, too. He placed his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders and said wholeheartedly, “Let me take you to the bookstore. I’ll make you happy there. It’ll be the best date you’ve ever had. You won’t even remember what made you cry tonight.”
“But I don’t like you back,” Jihoon replied bluntly.
“I know,” said Sangheon, concealing his heartache with a small smile. He already sensed the rejection coming before it even reached him. Despite that, he remained calm. “That’s what I like about you. You’re unapologetically cold, but at least you always tell the truth.”
Jihoon was clearly taken aback, but he seemed to consider Sangheon’s words.
After a moment of silence, Jihoon found his words and said, seemingly amused, “You really are a weirdo.”
Sangheon grinned. “So, what do you think? A date at the bookstore sounds like fun, yeah?”
“I guess,” Jihoon said, his dimples showing as the corners of his lips lifted coyly. “Okay, let’s do it.”