36. The Turning Page
J ust as Yunho and Wooju are about to deepen their kiss, a vibration disrupts them.
Yunho plucks his phone from his pocket and stares at the screen. “Jihoon,” he reads.
“Oh.” Wooju flashes a wavering smile that fails to reach his eyes. “You can answer him.”
“Are you sure?” Yunho asks, his eyes filled with concern as he turns back to Wooju. The way his eyebrows crease and his fingers fidget makes Wooju wonder if he’s the reason for Yunho’s emotional turmoil or if Jihoon has somehow succeeded in winning Yunho’s heart. Yunho looks torn.
It must be today.
“Sure,” Wooju replies. “No problem.”
I think I’ve figured it out, Yunho.
Yunho rises from his seat and strolls over to the window before answering his phone, “Hey, what’s up?”
My purpose in this timeline, this life.
Lying back in his hospital bed, Wooju observes his best friend from across the room. Even though Yunho’s broad back faces him, Wooju feels at ease. Yunho’s alive, and his hair is as vibrant as the sun spilling through the window. The faint sound of his deep voice is proof.
Yunho’s alive, and he has to stay that way.
I should’ve died in my mother’s womb.
I should’ve died instead of her.
It’s been a few days since Wooju struck a deal with Jihoon: be a distraction, and Yunho will live.
I should’ve died in the river a long time ago.
I should’ve died instead of my father.
Yunho ends the call and swivels around to face Wooju. “Jihoon said he’s at the police station with his dad,” he says.
“His dad’s there, too?”
Yunho nods hesitantly.
“Go,” Wooju tells him.
Yunho is visibly taken aback. “What?”
I should’ve died in prison.
I should’ve died because you lived.
“He called you because he needs you, right?” Wooju presses.
If you must die for me to live, then maybe I have to die for you to live. We can’t exist at the same time without one of us losing the other one early. It’s okay. That’s life. And I choose you.
“You need me, too,” mutters Yunho, his voice tinged with pain as his glassy eyes mirror his angst.
Forgive me, Yunho.
“But I’m safe right here,” Wooju tries to convince him.
“I can ask Sangheon to go get him?—”
“ Yunho ,” Wooju interrupts. “Jihoon is alone and scared. His father, who abused him, must be sitting next to him right now. Can you imagine what he’s going through?”
I’m doing this for you. So, please.
Please take my love for you as your turning page.
Yunho averts his eyes and lets out a sigh. “You’re right.” His calm demeanor slips away as he runs his hands through his hair. Shifting his gaze back to Wooju, he declares, “I’ll go check on him, but I’ll be back.” He stalls for a second, doubt seeping in. “You’ll wait for me, right?”
Wooju takes a deep breath and lies.
“Of course.”
Move on. Forget about me. Be happier.