30. Chapter 30
Chapter 30
I ’ve never danced this much in my life.
The relief I feel when I tug my shoes off as I walk inside my place is endless. It’s barely 1:00 a.m., but after Lexie and Finn disappeared from the dance floor—her on his shoulder, him running across the field of trees toward the little cottage they’d kept for themselves for their wedding night—I grabbed Carter’s hand and figured the party was over. I’d exerted myself enough anyway, dancing the night away with my friends and with the man who’d said he didn’t want to dance.
“I need to burn these,” I say as I let my shoes fall to the ground and stretch my feet against the carpeted floor.
“Should’ve removed them a long time ago if they hurt you,” Carter says, taking his jacket off. I almost pout. He looked so good in it.
“But they make my legs look really good,” I say over my shoulders with a wink.
He keeps a straight face. “They’d look good regardless.”
My next breath is difficult against the tension enveloping the room—or is it just the tension between the two of us? Ever since I saw him sitting in those garden chairs, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off him, and I think the feeling’s mutual. In fact, I’ve been attuned to him for far longer than that. Even before the shower, before the bed we shared, before the kiss. He feels right in a way I never thought I’d experience again, and as he loosens his tie and unbuttons the top of his shirt, I find myself wishing he were actually mine, that I had a right to walk over to him and help him undress. It’s unhealthy, but I can’t help it.
“Tired?” I ask. I know I am, even though being this close to him has my body on high alert.
He hums, not taking his eyes away from me.
“Time for bed, then,” I answer. “Thanks for tonight.”
“For what?” he asks.
“Dancing with me? Just coming down and being there?” I would’ve loved Finn and Lexie’s wedding regardless, but Carter made the night flawless.
“Course,” he says in that deep voice of his that sends a wave of heat down my spine.
I nod, then turn toward my room but stop midway when I remember how hard it was to get in that dress, however good it looks.
I walk back to Carter, offering him my back while I bring my hair over my shoulder. “Unzip me?”
An abnormally long pause ensues as if he’s hesitating or wondering how to do it. I feel exposed, my skin in full display to him with that back décolleté.
Finally, the shift of fabric rustles as he leans closer, then his fingertips graze against the skin of my shoulder blades as he slowly pulls the zipper down. Only when it’s just above my panty line does he let go and step back.
“Thanks.” I turn to him, stomach hollowing at the fire burning in his eyes as they continue roaming my body. I should take a step back, protect my fragile heart, but I remain in place, letting my gaze drop to the fine bristles of hair at the top of his chest, then to the tight fists at his sides, and finally to the strong muscles in his clenched jaw.
“Lilianne,” he says, voice tight as a drawstring.
“What?”
“You gotta stop looking at me like that.”
Even with the heat scalding my cheeks, I ask, “Like what?”
“Like you want me.” His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been checking me out?” A deep breath puffs out of his chest. “My self-restraint’s at its end.”
I need to replay his words a few times to make sure I’ve actually understood what he meant. I knew a part of him wanted this, but this is more than casual wanting. This is pure craving.
He meant it as a threat, a reason to walk away, but I only take a step closer. His nostrils flare as he looks down, where the straps of my gown are dangerously close to falling down my arms.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” he says, but his body tells me the opposite. It looks as if he’s trying his hardest to hold himself back, and I want him unleashed. I want him to tell me what I do to him, to do what was playing out in his head while he jerked off. I don’t care that he’s right and this is a terrible idea that could make the next year and a half of our lives a living hell, or that I’ll probably only end up hurt. I can’t handle this anymore. Not when I know he feels the same. A part of me also tells me this isn’t just physical to him. He wouldn’t have come here from tour because he missed me if he just wanted sex. He could get that anywhere.
This is more.
I take another step closer, my chest now brushing his, breasts sensitive against the silk fabric of my dress.
“Lilianne—”
“Goddammit, will you just kiss me?”
And kiss me, he does.
My words seem to be his undoing because one moment we’re standing in the middle of the living room, and the next my back is forced against the wall, Carter’s hand wrapped lightly around my throat in a possessive embrace as he kisses me breathless. His head bent, mine extended back, we’re perfectly crooked to allow the most contact.
My hands immediately climb to his hair, pulling as he nips at my lips in teasing bites, then tangles my tongue with his in a way that makes my toes curl against the carpet.
He kisses me like a starved man, like someone who’s waited years to finally get to this moment. And I eat it all up, meeting him blow for blow, bite for bite. He smells like pine trees and the musky scent of what I now know is his aftershave, the combination making me want to scream. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, more than I need my next breath.
The way his fingers caress my neck sends chills all over my skin, and when I jump to wrap my legs around his hips, he catches me with his other hand before rolling his hips against mine, pushing me harder against the wall while also showing me how hard he is already.
“You look so goddamn gorgeous like this,” he whispers against my lips before kissing me once more, his lips soft but claiming. “With my hands on you and my ring on your finger.”
I’m panting against him, my core clenching when he rubs his cock against me once more.
“Did you enjoy watching me touch myself?” he breathes, so low I barely catch it.
“You have no idea,” I say, riding his hips for any hint of friction I can get, then suck at the spot where his jaw meets his neck. “Now get my dress off.”
His hands never stop roaming my body. “We don’t have to.”
“I said take my dress off,” I repeat before kissing him, this time biting his lip.
He winces, but the hurt only seems to excite him more. His lips even curl against mine, eyes dark. “As you wish.”
He steps back just enough so there’s space for him to push the straps of my dress down my arms, exposing my naked breasts to him. My nipples harden against the cool air, but the sensation is immediately forgotten when Carter pushes me back against the wall and wraps his warm lips against one nipple, licking and sucking until I’m gasping out loud.
“You make me crazy, you know that?” he says before lightly biting the edge of my left breast. The back of my head rests against the wall as I push my chest against his mouth, feeling like my mind has left my body and I’m only chasing sensations. “With that tight dress showing that perfect ass, barely covering your tits.” He rubs a thumb over my nipple, looking at it like he’s mesmerized. “Fuck. I wanted to kill every single man who stared at you.” He punctuates his sentence by moving to my other breast and licking it from top to bottom, dragging a moan out of my throat.
“I didn’t care about any other man,” I say, rolling my pelvis against his hardness so I can get some friction where I need him the most.
“Better not.” He trails kisses down my sternum as his hands move up from my thighs higher, caressing all the sensitive skin there. “I don’t give back what’s mine.” Another long kiss. “I’ll give you everything you want.” His gaze looks lost as he stares at the wet spot he left on my skin. “Everything.”
His hands continue to climb my thighs, up until his thumbs brush my panties. Against my neck, he whispers, “Are you wet for me?”
I nod, mouth dry. There’s not enough air in this room, on this planet.
“Show me,” he says, rubbing his finger back and forth at the edge of my panties, so close to where I want him but never getting there.
Not wanting to waste another second, I push my panties to the side and grab his hand, bringing it to my drenched middle.
Carter hums, dragging one finger up from my entrance all the way to my clit, giving it one rub that has me shaking before he pulls it away. I almost cry as I watch him bring the finger to my lips, making me suck on it, taste myself. The groan he lets out reverberates all through my strung-out body.
“Not what I meant,” he says, then picks me up and brings me to the couch. He lays me down on my back. “Showed you mine, now show me yours.”
I stare at him, breaths erratic.
He runs a hand over my belly, once again looking lost, like he’s in a haze. He traces my transplant scar with a sort of reverence. Then he brings his gaze back to mine, glazed. “Touch yourself, honey.”
I have the reflex to be embarrassed and hide, but he’s right. He did show me his, planned or not. It’s only fair I return the favor.
It takes all the courage in my body to bring my trembling hand down to my core and spread my legs under Carter’s carnal stare. Then I start stroking myself gently, so gently, but even those light touches make me shudder. It feels so different from when I do it by myself, and I attribute it all to the way Carter watches me, like I’m all his daydreams turned into reality. His cock strains against his zipper, outlined in his trousers, the sight giving me another boost of bravery. He’s enjoying this as much as I am.
I roll my hips against my fingers, rubbing my clit faster and faster, feeling warmer than I’ve been all night. Carter’s eyes have gone completely dark as they’re fixed on my drenched middle, following each movement of my fingers with bated breath.
It’s too much. I’ve imagined him so many times while touching myself, but watching him as I do so, the part of his lips and the way he has to adjust himself in his pants as he continues watching, it’s too overwhelming. I push my head back against the cushions, closing my eyes as I circle faster, legs starting to quake.
He tsks, pulling my chin so my face is tilted back toward him. “Eyes open. I want to see you when you come.”
I gasp a breath, hips undulating to get more friction, more movement, more, more, more.
“You’re doing such a good job,” he says, then crawls closer onto the couch so he’s on his knees between my legs. “Want a finger inside?”
I nod, unable to speak.
He doesn’t waste time inserting a knuckle, then another, the feeling so delicious I almost come right there.
“Jesus fuck,” he mutters before he finally leans over me and kisses me once more. His finger never stops pumping inside me as his tongue plunges into my mouth once more, curling against mine, stealing the breath right out of my lungs. I’m not sure I’m even kissing him back, too focused on the way his finger curls inside me at just the right spot while I continue rubbing my clit, pressure building and building in my body until finally, I explode.
“Carter,” I moan as I pulse around his finger, gripping him between my legs while I pull his face closer to mine, his hair clenched between my fingers. It feels like my orgasm lasts forever, my lips parted against his like he’s inhaling every sound I make, looking at me with a hunger I’ve never seen on anyone before.
“That’s it, honey,” he coos, pumping until I can’t take it anymore. I push myself away, catching my breath as his hands knead my thighs .
“Jesus.” I sigh. “You really are the whole package, aren’t you?”
He grins, a minuscule lift of his lips, making my heart go whoosh like it does whenever he smiles at me, except this time, it’s filled with anticipation and lust. I don’t think I could ever get enough of this man. He could touch me a million times and I’d ask him for just one more. And maybe this will end one day and I’ll have to grieve what it feels like to be handled by Andrew Carter, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I want to enjoy every beautiful inch of him for as long as I can.
I lift myself on my elbows so I can catch his lips between mine, then lift a hand to wrap it around his cock outside of his pants. He hisses in my mouth but doesn’t pull away, instead grinding himself against my hand.
“You need to stop touching me if you want to stop here.”
“I don’t.”
I continue rubbing him up and down as he says, “I could just touch you all night and I’d be fine with it.”
I know he means it, which makes me even more eager to take him into me and give him the same ecstasy he did.
“I think it’s time I take care of you.” I unzip him, keeping my eyes on his when I lower his trousers and boxers and grip his hard length, rubbing it up and down twice. Then I look down at it, all smooth skin and raised veins, and bend so I can tease the crown with my tongue.
“Fuck,” he grunts as I continue running my tongue around him, tasting the salty tanginess on his tip. Then I take him in as deep as I can, relaxing around his length. The muscles of his thighs bunch under my hands as he fights to keep control over himself. I don’t want him to remain in control, though. I want all of him, rough and rugged. I peer up, maintaining the eye contact as I suck him deeper.
“I don’t want to think about how you got this good at blow jobs,” he grunts, hips shifting lightly. “But I’m really fucking thankful for it.”
I grin, then twirl my tongue around him.
“Gotta stop, honey.” He pulls out of my mouth in one swift move, then shifts me so I’m on my hands and knees, his length prodding against me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I moan, pushing myself against him. It’s embarrassing how much I want him, need him still.
“Fuck. I don’t have a condom.”
I glance over my shoulder, his disheveled hair and wrinkled shirt making him look as desperate as I feel. “I’m on birth control, and I’m clear.”
“Got tested a year ago and haven’t been with anyone else since,” he says. I try not to show my surprise at that, only nodding before I push myself closer to him, this time letting a bit of his tip enter me.
Carter wraps my loose ponytail around his fist once, twice and pulls me back. “That hair. That fucking hair.” And then, he plunges into me.
My back arches at the sudden intrusion, my body suddenly lit with high voltage. Carter stills inside me as I try to relax and adjust to his size. He’s breathing hard but giving me the time I need, and eventually, I rotate my hips so he can hit the spot I need and clench around him.
Carter runs his other hand over my backside, rubbing soothing circles. “Do you know how long I’ve been dreaming of this?”
“Since we shared a bed?” I guess as I move so his cock pulls back.
“Way before then, honey. Since I saw you across the bar that first time.”
I shudder, then I sit back on him, making us both groan.
With this go ahead, Carter starts moving in and out, setting his pace to the sounds I make, to the way I shiver and falter under him. The way he pulls at my hair creates the perfect mixture of pleasure and pain, and when he brings his free hand to my clit and starts rubbing, I almost lose it.
“Do you know how beautiful you look around me?” he says against my ear once he pulls my hair enough that I’m standing on my knees, my ass stuck to his hips as he rolls them, hitting me inside at an angle that’s almost too much. “You’ve done something to me. I can’t get you out of my fucking head.” He continues rubbing me at the perfect speed and pressure, having learned from the way I did it before.
“I don’t think I can take it much longer,” I whisper, moving against him so I’m as much in control as he is. I’m not sure what gets me off the most between his words and the way he touches me.
“Good.” He pulls my head to one side so he can nip at my neck on the other. “Me neither.” Then he keeps the same speed but somehow finds a way to go even harder and deeper. “You’re gonna come for me again, aren’t you?”
I nod, reaching back so I can grip his hair, his back, anything as my orgasm builds and builds, and when he turns my head and kisses me with a tenderness he hasn’t shown before, I explode.
My nails scratch at the skin of his neck as I come again, this time contracting against his cock as his pace quickens, movements ragged and jerky until he lets out a groan and collapses against my back, emptying himself inside me.
It takes me a moment to come back to myself, both of us catching our breaths, our lower bodies tangled together. Once I do, I still don’t move, unsure where this evening is going to go. Carter could just as well get up and go to bed.
No, he wouldn’t , a small voice tells me.
And he proves it right when he wraps his arm around my waist, keeping me as close to him as physically possible, still inside me. We might have just had sex, but this is the most intimate moment I’ve ever experienced. A promise he’s not going anywhere.
Which makes me feel safe enough to turn my head and tease, “Who knew the stranger I married was so well endowed?”
Carter snickers, his lips twisting in a smile that feels like it could only be for me before he nips my collarbone, making me giggle. “You’re the most annoying, you know that?”
“I think you actually like me,” I say, pushing my ass back against him.
“Yeah. I think maybe I do.”