CHAPTER 33
Jason
T oday is one of the rare days I get to be alone with Ethan, and it’s the first time I sit across from him as my spiritual leader rather than a friend. The kids are at a sports camp for the afternoon, and Ethan set this time aside for us at my request. Birds chirp in the shrubs beyond his porch, and mature trees shade his deck from the midmorning sun.
Our conversation meanders through the mundanities of daily life and the challenges of parenting. Ethan talks about his kids’ struggle to wake up for the sports camp. “Nap time should be easy this afternoon.”
“Mine woke up easily, but they didn’t want breakfast without Valentina.” As excited as I am for her interview, the change for us leaves me uneasy.
“About Valentina.” Ethan sets his water bottle on the table between us. “Now that you’re dating, it would be smart not to sleep under the same roof. Until you’re married, of course. Though I believe you said you’d never date again?”
As he reminds me of my words at the campfire when Valentina first watched all the kids, my cheeks heat, but I focus on the shared-space aspect. “If she gets the job, she’s moving back to Manhattan or Brooklyn with her family anyway.” She’ll get hired, and it’ll have nothing to do with my friendship with the producer but everything to do with Valentina’s credentials. The jobs she interviewed for before didn’t hire her because she was overqualified.
“And?”
I swallowed to mask the hollowness accompanying her departure. “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. If you know a babysitter you trust, I’ll be needing one soon.”
“I see.” Ethan nods. “Has Valentina said she wants to work for the big network, or is this what you thought she needed?”
“She has more to offer the world, and a big network will give her that platform.” I clear my throat. Still, the fear of her moving on without us lurks beneath my words. “I robbed her of that chance once, yet she’s given us so much.”
Ethan has likely noticed the changes in my family, including Eden’s newfound confidence.
“And finally, all the talk about faith, sin, and talking to God you’ve shared with us over the years is starting to resonate. Valentina helped bridge that understanding.” I face the wildflowers in Ethan’s backyard. Despite the grass to choke them out, they are vibrant. Firmly rooted. I need to remain rooted in God. “Which brings me to my next question. You talked about having a relationship with God. How do I know if I have that?”
Ethan’s brown eyes catch the midmorning light, reflecting a thoughtful spark. “You know how your relationship with Valentina started on edge? Then you became friends, recognizing the good and bad in each other?” At my nod, he continues. “But the good outweighed the bad, and eventually, you told each other ‘I love you.’” He pauses, ensuring I follow. “It’s similar with God. It starts by talking to Him, inviting Him into your daily life, then a relationship unfolds.”
Ethan elaborates on how God sent His son, Jesus, to die as a sacrifice so our sins could be forgiven. “We’ll dig deeper into it later, but all you need to know now is to open your heart and let Him guide you through life, step-by-step.”
Before I know it, he’s holding my hands, and I’m pouring my heart out in prayer, asking for forgiveness and for God to be the center of my life. Happiness and peace like none before fill my heart almost to bursting, and my eyes itch, my throat closing up. By the time my eyes meet his again, Ethan is beaming.
“I agree. You’ve changed since you embraced Valentina into your family,” he says. “I’ve been praying for this day, hoping it would come while I was still here to see it.” He then delves into God’s design for relationships. “He uses those connections to give us a taste of what it’s like to have a relationship with Him. If we don’t understand how to connect with those we see every day, how can we relate and connect to a God we’ve never seen?”
As he speaks, a breeze whips the trees and shrubs. The rustling fills the silence following his words, almost as if nature itself affirms his message.
“And to answer your question about a nanny, I’ll keep my eyes open, but I have a feeling that, whether Valentina gets this job or not, you and the kids have become the center of her world too.”
“I’m not sure what steps to take next with her. I don’t want to interfere with her career path by pushing our relationship to the next level.” Yet what’s the purpose of dating if we don’t plan to move things along?
“Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with Valentina?”
“Without a doubt.” My heart swells. “But with everything that went down with Daisy, rushing her into marriage—”
“I don’t know Daisy, but I do know Valentina. They are different people.” Ethan reaches for his bottle and waves it between us. “We know Valentina loves kids, her faith in God. Those are significant differences. Ask her what she wants out of this relationship.”
“She wants marriage and all.” Didn’t Carlos advise me not to start anything I wasn’t prepared to see through? He wouldn’t have said so if she hadn’t wanted a long-term commitment from Austin. His loss and my gain. I lean back, hands clasped between my knees. Ethan would be honest rather than tell me what I want to hear.
So here goes. “Do you think I have what it takes to be the husband she deserves?”
“Yes. You love her and she loves you. The rest will play out as it should.”
“God is in the transforming business?”
Ethan nods, his smile knowing. “Just remember, faith isn’t about having all the answers upfront. God will guide you through each step, even when the path isn’t clear.”
His words renew my hope and commitment as we depart. Anticipation rises, and my heart is loaded with possibilities as I pick up the kids from their sports camp.
Their excitement bubbles out on the drive home. Each speaks over the other as they share stories about more new friends, friends who will join them at school this fall.
“I’m so glad.” My smile mirrors their enthusiasm.
As we pull into the driveway, the vibrant blooms in our garden catch my eye, their colors a vivid reminder of the season’s joy. “It’s a warm day.” I suggest swimming to the kids. I’ll see if the rest of the guys want to join us.
“Is Val swimming with us?” Eden asks.
The boys start chattering about swimming with Val. I missed working out with Valentina this morning too and our usual breakfast where we share what we were grateful for.
“I don’t think she’ll be here today.” I step out of the car, the kids following.
Eden stops in front of me, and her nearly invisible blonde brows draw tight. “If she gets the job, will she still be with us?”
I place a comforting hand on her soft cheek. “She’ll probably move to Brooklyn, but I’m going to make sure you have a new caretaker.”
“She said she won’t leave us!” Eden stomps on the concrete, her voice sending birds in flight from the tree hovering by the driveway. She then folds her arms and juts up her chin. “She promised!”
“She didn’t break any promises.” I assure her. Though maybe she made some she might find hard to keep?
“Did Val leave without saying goodbye?” Atticus steps forward. Felix looks equally worried.
“She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.” That’s a promise I can keep.
“I told her not to throw a party for me.” Eden’s lower lip quivers. Oh no! The dear girl blames herself already.
“Hey.” I pull her close to comfort her, but she wiggles out of my arms and rushes up the path to the door, slamming it behind her.
Glad I had a light, free morning while it lasted. Isn’t life supposed to be perfect when you walk closer to God? Maybe day one is too early to expect changes.
To distract the boys, I suggest soccer tag and bring them to laughter as they team up to beat me. I’m breathless, unable to match their energy.
“I need a break.” I slide my phone from my shorts pockets and urge them to keep playing, my mind already rushing to Valentina. She hasn’t texted. Could she still be at her interview?
I’ve never used the location-sharing app she’d set up in case I couldn’t reach her by phone and needed to know where she and the kids were. I scroll my thumb in search of the app. What was it again? I didn’t realize how many inbuilt apps I have. Now, I click one unfamiliar app after another.
On the Axis. Finally. I click the pin location on the map just as my phone rings. It’s Mom.
“How did Val’s interview go?”
“She hasn’t called yet.” My shoes crunch in the grass as the boys scale a tree with ease. “I’ll update you as soon as I hear anything.”
“How did the kids’ camp go?”
“They had fun.” I press the phone to my ear, so I can hear over the boys’ loud shrills. “Edie isn’t taking Valentina’s interview well.” It’s gotta be best to let her have a moment in her room where she must’ve vanished.
Mom sighs. “Sweet baby.”
“She thinks Valentina is getting a job because she was burdened by putting on Eden’s birthday party.”
“Val is not like Daisy. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, the way she interacts with the kids.”
“I know.” Despite Mom extolling Valentina’s qualities, doubt clouds my hope. Would she want to move to a small town with us? She says she loves the serenity here, but does she want to live here long term?
“I can talk to Eden if you want me to.” Mom’s voice through the phone pulls me back.
“She’ll overcome the upset.” Like Valentina said, we all need a moment to process our thoughts. “Let’s give her some time.”
“Keep me posted on the interview,” Mom insists before we end our chat.
How long will it take all of us to adjust to Valentina’s absence if it becomes long-term? And what about Ethan’s advice to avoid the temptation of staying in rooms across from each other?
If everything changes, I’ll need to revert to my old normal—doing things solo. Ugh. I’ve come too far to go back to now. I can’t even remember what that looked like. If she gets the job and is willing to commute to Meadowbrook, she could move to the annex, and Mom and Phil could stay in her room when they visit. She’ll be farther from me, but not too far for us to have family dinners together and the kids to see her often.
There’s too much to navigate, and I don’t want to coerce Valentina into anything that might backfire.
But how else will she know I’m serious about us and taking our relationship to the next level? Maybe this can be the exception. The time I do what I’d sworn never to do again. Ask her to marry me. We’re both past our twenties and against time if we want our forever to start now. But is it too soon to ask for marriage?