Chapter 23 #2
Pedro speaks first. “We’re happy to have you, we want this relationship to be beneficial to all of us, and I don’t plan on letting a stupid underground fight get in the way of that.” His eyes flicker to Alejandro and I get the sense that he received the same talk I did.
Time to take one for the team… or club…
“Pedro, Alejandro, I accept full responsibility for what’s happened,” I say.
An expression of shock crosses over Alejandro’s face but quickly returns to his stoic one.
“The truth is, I was in a relationship with Elizabeth, but it was a secret, I wasn’t publicly claiming her as mine.
Alejandro had no way of knowing she was spoken for; I can’t be angry with him for flirting with her.
” I take a moment to pause. “ Besides, we’re not together anymore, so I definitely had no right going that hard during the fight. ”
“Thank you for saying that,” Pedro says, “I hope Alejandro will also assume some responsibility, let’s just say that he’s not used to women saying no to him.”
Alejandro looks at me, and nods. “You’re right, I didn’t know she was spoken for, but I should have backed off when she asked me to.
If I had known she was with you, I wouldn’t have let it get as far as it did.
And I apologize for what I said to you during the fight, I didn’t mean it, and I was wrong to disrespect her like that.
It was my pride talking, no one has ever gone more than two rounds with me before, and you just weren’t staying down. ”
“Yeah,” El Jefe says looking over at me, “Diablo’s a stubborn piece of shit, that’s for sure.”
“Just like your old man from what I hear,” Pedro says.
“Yeah,” I say, “I guess I get that from him.”
Being compared to Frank makes me feel physically sick, but what’s the point of denying it anymore, turns out maybe I’m just like him after all.
There’s not much more to say, so we drink together for a bit, before Pedro invites us to mingle and chat to any of the girls we like, assuring us that none of them are spoken for.
Tank, Pretty Boy, and Tipo, are clearly having a great time; they’ve got six women around them, all looking interested, and it’s not long before they start filtering off to rooms in threes.
“They look like they’re going to have fun tonight,” El Jefe says.
“Slim’s gonna be gutted he missed out,” I say, feeling bad for asking him to stay behind. I tilt my head in the direction of a table of girls, all of them making eyes at us. “You could probably have more than a threesome if you wanted, El Jefe.”
“So could you,” he says.
Honestly, I’ve got no idea what fucking another girl would even look like right now; after the way it’s been with Elizabeth, I don’t want to do that with anyone else. But what, am I going to be celibate for the rest of my life?
“Want me to send any over your way?” I ask.
“No, I’m all good, brother. Just going to drink my beer and catch up with some old friends.”
When I think about it, I haven’t seen him with a girl for ages, no one at our club anyway. He’s been flirting with them less too, and they don’t sit on his lap anymore. I’m guessing he’s changing, trying to be faithful to his wife.
After I saw what it did to my mom, knowing my father was with different women all the time, explaining it away as part of the lifestyle no matter how upset it made her, I vowed to never be in a relationship, so I’d never hurt someone like that. But look how well that turned out.
I make my way over to the girls, pleased to see that they immediately make room for me. Even beaten to a pulp I can have my pick of them… so why is it that all I can think about is how none of them are as beautiful as Elizabeth.
After another few drinks, I’ve lost my wits enough to follow one of the girls upstairs.
She’s got gorgeous dark skin and jet-black hair, she’s slim and her ass is tiny, the complete opposite to Elizabeth, which is just what I need.
She leads me to a room and takes my drink, placing it on a table, before reaching her arms around my neck and leaning up to kiss me.
“No kissing,” I say.
She nods. “So, what do you want?”
Her voice is silky and smooth, but it does nothing for me, not like Elizabeth’s does.
I take a couple of breaths, before Elizabeth I’d have had no issue just telling this girl to suck my dick or turn around and bend over, but I don’t want her to do either of those things.
She runs her hands down my chest, touching the dog-tag, the one that still holds the photo of Elizabeth and I snuggled up in bed together, the one I haven’t been able to take off or stop looking at, even though it feels like a knife to the chest.
“Fuck… I’m sorry,” I say, “I… uh… I can’t do this. It’s not you, okay?”
I untangle myself from her arms and leave the room, rushing down the stairs before racing through the clubhouse and out into their courtyard, not even looking in El Jefe’s direction.
Leaning against the wall, I take some deep breaths.
Fuck. I can feel tears in my eyes, I haven’t fucking cried since I was a child and I do not want to start now, not here.
“Do you want one?” I hear Alejandro’s voice from the darkness.
I turn to the direction it came from, and his face is illuminated by the flame from his lighter, he’s sitting on a bench in a dark corner. After lighting his cigarette, he offers me the pack.
“I haven’t smoked in years… but yeah, please,” I say, walking over to him.
He flicks his wrist so a cigarette slides out of the pack and hands me his lighter.
“Thanks,” I say, after I’ve lit up and handed it back .
“Let me guess,” he says, “you and Beth might be over, but she’s still the only girl on your mind.”
Normally I’d be angry about him even mentioning her, but honestly, I’m too fucking tired, and feeling too upset to even care.
“Yeah,” I say, taking a long drag on the cigarette.
Fuck, maybe I should take up smoking again.
“She’s special,” he says.
I exhale and nod, watching as the smoke swirls and dissipates around me.
“You know,” he says, “when I was your age, I used to fuck anyone and everyone I wanted. I never wanted a relationship, the thought of just being with one woman was such an alien concept to me. Now I’m older, all I want is to meet someone special, settle down, I’d even want to have kids.
But I have this reputation now, all the girls in there, they only see me one way.
They want the biker boyfriend, they want danger…
they don’t want all the other stuff. But I can’t meet someone outside the club, they’ll never understand the lifestyle, the fact that I could end up in prison after just one mistake. ”
“Hmm…” I say, wondering why he’s telling me this.
“It sounds like you had the best of both worlds with Beth. Why did you let it go?”
“I didn’t have a choice.”
He sighs. “Everyone has a choice.”
We finish our cigarettes in silence, his words echoing in my mind… but I don’t have a choice…