Chapter 10
Donovan
We’ve shared a bed and fallen asleep together every night this week. For years I’ve been dreaming about what it would be like to have a boyfriend of my own to experience this, not that we’ve labeled it yet, and that’s okay. But he feels like a boyfriend, and that’s how I think of him in my mind.
When we’re in the privacy of our dorm, we hold hands and cuddle while we watch films. We kiss and make out, sometimes touch each other too, everything we do feels amazing. The voice in my head telling me I’m inexperienced is slowly fading, my confidence growing every day.
People are getting used to seeing us around campus together too, as friends though, I guess.
I’m assuming people think he’s taken me under his wing because I’m the new guy and I don’t know anyone else, but that’s okay, I know the truth, and when we’re alone, he never makes me feel like I’m just a friend.
“Morning, baby,” he murmurs, nuzzling my neck from behind.
Being little spoon is the best feeling in the world; I love falling asleep and waking up wrapped in his arms. It’s Saturday morning and we’ve both got a rare day off, no training for him, no classes for me.
I’ve been awake for a while, but having a lazy morning with my boyfriend was a bucket list item and now I can tick it off.
“Morning, I like waking up with you like this,” I say.
“Me too.” He grinds his hard dick into me, and I love the way it feels through my boxers.
“Someone’s definitely woken up in a good mood,” I chuckle.
“I’ve got a gorgeous man in my arms, and a completely free day to spend with him,” he says. “How could I not be in the best mood?”
I laugh, loving that we’re on the same page.
“You want to spend the whole day with me? Whatever will we do?” I ask, pushing my ass back into him.
My flirting skills have definitely been getting better as my confidence grows, much to Stephen’s annoyance.
He says I already turn him on too much and drive him crazy, without being flirtatious on top of it all; I’m not sorry.
He growls and buries his face in my neck again, gently biting the point where my neck meets my shoulder.
“What have I told you about flirting with me when you’re practically naked in my arms?”
“Not to do it,” I say, putting on an innocent voice and biting my lip so I don’t giggle.
He runs his hand down my chest and stomach to my boxers, toying with the waistband before reaching his hand in and grabbing my dick, which is most definitely hard and ready for his attention.
“Fuck, baby. Is this all for me?”
“You know it is.”
“I had so many plans for today, and now you’ve gone and distracted me,” he chuckles.
“Plans? What plans?”
He rolls me onto my back and climbs on top of me, nestling between my legs and kissing along my collar bones.
“Doesn’t matter anymore. Now I need to feel you.”
“Please, tell me,” I chuckle as he tickles my throat, knowing all the spots that make me laugh.
He lifts up onto his arms, the biggest grin on his face. “I was going to suggest taking you on a date.”
My heart flutters. “A date?”
“Mm-hmm,” he smirks.
“You mean, out in public?”
“Not completely public,” he says sadly, “you know I can’t give you that, but I was going to suggest leaving our dorm at least. There’s a place I want to take you, and I think we’ll be safe there. We can enjoy each other’s company away from campus, and we might even be able to kiss and hold hands.”
“Kiss… outside this room?” I ask, making sure I’m hearing this right.
“Maybe. I know we’ve been limited to here, and I can’t offer you much, but I want to do something.”
“I’d love that,” I say, “please can we go on the date?”
The thought of being with him outside of our dorm, being able to hold his hand and kiss him instead of pretending we’re friends, is the best news I’ve had in a long time.
“Of course, baby, but first…”
He dips his head and kisses me again, grinding his hips into me before running one of his hands down my body, back to my boxers.
“Not complaining,” I gasp, as he rubs his hand over my dick.
We get off the bus in a small town about an hour away from Winbrook.
Stephen told me comfy clothes and shoes are a must, but other than that I was given no clues.
There doesn’t seem to be anything special about the town at first glance, but as we walk down the main street, there are signs all pointing in the same direction, Rivermuse National Park.
“Is that where we’re going?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he chuckles, “I guess my secrets out. I used to come here a lot as a kid with my parents, it’s one of my favorite places. I can’t wait to show you.”
We follow the signs which lead to a wooden arch serving as the entrance to the national park. A forested area stretches ahead of us, and I pause to take a quick look at the map on the board.
“The whole park follows the river.” Stephen points to the map, following it with his finger. “There are trails, and picnic spots, and it’s not huge but the park is usually empty. I figure there’s a good chance we’ll have the place to ourselves.”
He pulls me into a one-armed hug around my shoulder, to any onlooker it would appear friendly, casual, but I know it means more.
“Let’s go,” I say, escaping his hold and jogging slightly up the path. “Last one to the river loses!”
I take off at a run, knowing I stand zero chance in any kind of footrace against him. He’s taller than me, and according to the rumors on campus, the fastest runner on the football team.
His laugh echoes behind me and he calls from a distance, “Ready or not, here I come!”
Even with the massive head start, he catches up to me in no time, grabbing me around my waist and pulling me to him.
“What do I win?” he asks, his eyes glancing between mine and my lips.
“What do you want?”
He smirks and pulls me into a kiss, arms circling under my ass and lifting me, so my head is slightly higher than him and I’m pressed against his body. We’re kissing in public, okay, so we’re the only ones here, but still, we’re not in our dorm.
I pull back from the kiss and grin. “Feels like I’m the one who won.”
“We can call it a draw,” he chuckles, placing me back on the floor and taking my hand in his. “Come on, let’s explore.”
We wander hand in hand, following the river and enjoying the scenery.
The forest is green and lush, and we’re surrounded by the sound of water and birdsong.
It’s the perfect date, and the best way I can imagine spending time together.
Stealing kisses whenever we want, playfully flirting and talking, free to be ourselves.
“Can I ask you something?” I say, tugging lightly on his hand.
“Of course.”
“What was it like for you, coming out to your parents?”
He blows out a breath and runs a hand through his hair.
“Sorry,” I say, “you don’t have to tell me, I was just curious.”
“No,” he smiles, “it’s okay, it’s just something I haven’t talked about in a while. And it’s not a bad story, at all, they were great. Well, it took my dad a bit of time…”
“I did wonder, with the whole ‘pro-football player’ thing.”
“Yeah, I was worried it would be an issue. But I think me growing up so athletic and into sports, and the fact that I loved spending time with him and my uncles when they went camping and stuff made it easier.”
“How do you mean?”
“He had a lot of preconceived ideas about gay people, which no doubt came from his upbringing and from being in the industry he was in. So when I came out as pansexual, firstly I don’t think he even knew what that meant, and secondly, I went against everything he had in his mind when he thought about queer people, so it made him stop and think, rather than react. ”
“Because you didn’t fit those preconceived ideas, you think he was more open to it?”
“I guess,” he says, “and I’m not saying that’s right, but it gave my mom and I space to talk to him, educate him. And he didn’t shut down, or switch off, he listened to us.”
“That’s good. It sounds like your mom was okay with it all?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “She was a teacher before she retired, one of those teachers that kids see as a mom. She’s had a lot of young people come out to her over the years, sometimes even before their parents.
She took it upon herself to always stay up to date with what was going on, new terms, new language, always encouraging her kids to share pronouns at the start of term; something that didn’t always go down well with the other staff.
But she wasn’t doing it for them, she was doing it for her kids, you know? ”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I wish I’d had a teacher like that, maybe things would have been different for me. And I’m glad she was there to help with your dad.”
“Me too, I think it took him a while to get his head around the pansexual thing, seeing it as more of a choice, rather than who I am. But he was always open to us explaining it. And ever since, he’s made sure to keep my uncles in line, calling them out on any shit they say that’s offensive, and helping me tell them too. ”
“So your whole family knows?”
“Yeah, and we’re tight knit, so they’d never share it outside the family, my secret is safe with them.”
I nod, and we continue our walk in companionable quiet.
I wonder if my mom would have been more like Vanessa if she hadn’t been under my father’s influence for so long; he terrified her into thinking like him, believing all the lies and bullshit he spun.
If she’d left him right after I was born, would I have had to hide myself for so long?
I like to think she would have been an ally through and through, but maybe there’s still time…
“You hungry?” Stephen asks, after we’ve been walking for about forty-five minutes or so.
“Sure, not sure we’ll find much to eat around here though,” I chuckle.
“That’s why I came prepared.”
He leads me to a small clearing in the trees, taking off his backpack and unloading a blanket and cooler bag.