Chapter 13
Stephen
I’m playing and training better than I have in my entire career; the coaches say it’s because of the extra conditioning I’m doing, but I think it’s because of Donovan.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this happy, it’s keeping me relaxed.
Even being away in Tynerston this weekend, I’m missing him like crazy, but knowing I’m going home to him tomorrow makes it easier.
“Yes, boy!” Marcus shouts as I catch another pass from him.
The more time we spend together, the more we’re on the same wavelength.
We’ve started anticipating each other’s moves, so even when plays don’t go to plan, we’re still succeeding, and people are starting to notice.
The coaches have requested that I live stream into meetings around my classes during the week, whereas before they were happy for me to take more of a backseat.
As good as it feels to be noticed, and I’m proud of the fact that they see potential in me, it’s also caused more of a rift between me and Joel.
He hates that Marcus and I are getting along so well, and that Ted and the quarterback coach keep pairing us together, even though he has all week to practice with him.
The locker rooms are usually full of friendly banter, but now Joel stomps around like he’s pissed off at the world, and the others are picking up on his vibes too.
I’d hate for them to start resenting me being here because of the bad mood he gets in when I’m around.
I’m hoping we can clear the air a bit at Ted’s house tonight, all of the receivers and quarterbacks will be there so hopefully he won’t be a complete asshole.
“Alright, gather round,” Ted calls, and we quickly huddle around him. “Good work today, I’m seeing some great plays and you’re working together well. Anything to add, Dom?” he asks the quarterback coach.
“Same from me, you’re working well, keep it up and we’re gonna give defense squads a tough time for sure.”
“Alright, hit the showers. Be at mine for seven-thirty sharp; Bri will kick my ass if you’re late, and then I’ll have to kick your asses tomorrow.”
We laugh but also know that he’s serious, so we have no plans to be late.
“Stephen, I’ll pick you up from your hotel at seven-fifteen,” Marcus says, as we make our way to the locker rooms.
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Joel scoffs up ahead.
“You gotta problem, Moreau?” Marcus always uses Joel’s last name when he’s pissed off with him.
“You’re offering to babysit the rookie, but you don’t offer anyone else a lift, do you?”
“He doesn’t fucking live here, you do, so you can make your own way there,” Marcus says. “Man, you need to stop with this jealous shit, it’s not a good look for you.”
“Jealous?” Joel stops walking and faces both of us. “You think I’m jealous of a fucking rookie?”
“Just calling it as I see it,” Marcus says.
“Hey, come on guys,” Isaac says, “we don’t need to be fighting amongst ourselves.”
Joel shoves passed Isaac, knocking his shoulder as he does. “I don’t need your fucking help either.”
“That guy’s a fucking dick,” Jordan says, “you have to just ignore him, all of you, he’s not worth it.”
“It’s hard to ignore him when he keeps getting in my face,” Marcus mutters.
“Come on, let’s go and get ready for Ted’s place. Bri’s mac ‘n’ cheese is calling my name,” Jordan laughs, slapping his stomach.
Once again, the food at Ted’s place doesn’t disappoint; I have to force myself to stop so I avoid the food coma I’d get if I ate how much I really wanted.
Everyone is in good spirits, well, except Joel, but if Bri’s food can’t even cheer him up, I don’t know what will.
I figure I just need to take Jordan’s advice and ignore him, if he’s got a problem with me, he can take it up with Ted.
My phone rings and I glance down, happy to see that it’s Donovan. I make my excuses and head out into the garden to take it.
“Hey, baby,” I say.
“Hey.” I can practically hear his smile down the phone, and it makes my heart melt a little bit. “Sorry to interrupt your dinner, I just wanted to call before I go out.”
“You don’t have to apologize; I like that you called. Where are you heading?” I ask.
“Jamie and Max invited me out, I hope that’s okay?”
“Of course it is, I want them to be your friends too. You going to Prism?”
“I’m not sure, they didn’t say, just that they’d come here to pick me up.”
“Well wherever you end up, take photos or it didn’t happen,” I say, remembering how many photos I got from him the last time I said that.
“I’ll send you so much proof you won’t know what to do with it all,” he chuckles.
“Oh I can think of some things, if the photos are of you. I need something to look forward to in my hotel room later.”
“Oh yeah? Then you might be interested to know that I just got out of the shower and I’m only in my towel… I’m on your bed too.”
“Photos or it didn’t happen,” I smirk.
I hear movements through the phone, and the shutter on his camera before my phone chimes. Holding it away from my ear, a photo appears. It’s taken from his perspective, looking down his chest at the towel wrapped around his hips; he’s hard so the towel shows off his cock perfectly.
“Fuck, I’m with all my teammates and you’re sending me photos like that.”
“You asked for proof,” he chuckles.
“True, I’ll send you something in return later.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“Alright, have a good time with Jamie and Max, let me know you get home safe, baby.”
“I will.”
“Speak to you later.”
I hang up and take one last glance at his photo, before turning to head inside. Only to find myself standing face to face with Joel.
“That was a private conversation,” I say, before he has a chance to open his mouth.
“Sounded like it,” he says with a smile that’s neither friendly nor kind. “Exchanging thirst traps with baby?”
“Like I said, it was a private conversation.”
Knowing he witnessed that private moment has my fists clenching, my whole body tensed for a fight. The temptation to knock him on his ass is too high, but I have to stay in control.
“Come on, don’t I get to see? We’re teammates after all.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” I ask, not quite believing he’s asking to see the photo.
“My girlfriend stopped sending me nudes months ago, let me see yours.” He reaches for my phone, but I’m faster than him and pull it out of his way.
“Maybe your girlfriend would be into your relationship more if you paid her some attention, instead of trying to look at other people’s partners.”
A look crosses his face, like he’s calculating something. But he quickly replaces it with another smile and holds up his hands. “I was just messing with you, bro! Relax!”
I put my phone securely in my pocket but keep my hand there in case he tries anything.
“We’re good,” I say, stepping around him, wanting to end this conversation and get as far away from him as possible.
Donovan
“Alright, have a good time with Jamie and Max, let me know you get home safe, baby,” Stephen says.
“I will.”
“Speak to you later.”
I’ve never sent a sexy photo before, but he seemed to appreciate it, and I’m especially looking forward to getting my own later. I still look at the first photo he sent me all the time, the one of him without a shirt on, leaning back against the headboard.
I’d planned on a quiet night in, with Stephen being away at training, but when Jamie messaged, asking if I wanted to go out, I figured why not. He told me to dress to impress, which I’m sure means something very different to him, but to me, that means nice jeans and a smart shirt.
I’m ready to go when they message to say they’re outside.
I spot Jamie instantly, because he looks incredible, in platform shoes and a different dress to last time.
His face is made up with make-up, highlighting his delicate features.
Max is dressed like me, jeans and a smart shirt, the only differences are that he’s taller and bulkier than me, and his outfit is adorned with a pink feather boa.
“Before you ask,” Max says, “the boa was Jamie’s idea, and if I have to wear one, so do you.”
Jamie produces another boa from a bag, this one’s purple, and he drapes it around my neck and shoulders.
“Much better,” he grins.
I snap a quick selfie to send to Stephen later, the feathers tickling my face make me laugh so my expression is ridiculous, but I hope it makes him chuckle. We head into town, and I soon realize we’re making our way to Prism.
“We’re going dancing again?” I ask, a bit worried I’ll be a third wheel on the dance floor.
“Not exactly,” Max chuckles. “Saturday nights at Prism are special. Just wait, you’ll see.”
We pay for our entry and make our way in, but unlike last time, the dance floor is full of chairs and tables, all surrounding the stage. Jamie leads us to a table which is front and center with a reserved sign.
“Our usual spot,” he says with a wink, before handing me a wad of cash.
My first thought is strippers, that this is some sort of gay strip show, which I’m not against, I’m just not sure it’s my kind of thing.
And being this close to the front, we’re going to see everything, and I mean everything.
I still blush at the thought of seeing Stephen’s dick, so I’ve got no idea how I’ll react if I’m confronted with a load of strangers’ dicks right in my face.
“Tip your drag performers,” Max says, tapping the cash I’m gripping in my hand.
“Max!” Jamie shouts. “You’ve ruined the surprise!”
“The poor guy looked petrified,” Max chuckles, and I laugh with him, relief washing over me.
“This is a drag show?”
“Yes,” Jamie says, “you’re gonna love it, trust me.”
“Beth is going to be so jealous, she’s always wanted to go to a drag show, but we don’t have anywhere in Tynerston.”
“We’ll bring her if she ever comes to visit,” Jamie says, “now sit back, and enjoy the show.”
“That was the most amazing, incredible thing I’ve ever seen!” I shout at Jamie over the roar of the crowd; we’re all standing in applause while the performers do a final walk.
“I knew you’d love it!” Jamie yells.
I can’t stop cheering and clapping; my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
This is the most fun I’ve had, maybe ever, and I realize that there’s no way I’ll ever be able to go back to hiding who I am.
I was a shell of myself back in Tynerston, wearing a carefully curated mask to never show my true self.
And now I’ve seen my life in color, brought to life in this vibrant rainbow venue.
Surrounded by people who are just like me, people who aren’t afraid to love who they love, dress how they want to dress, say ‘fuck you’ to a world which wants to make them smaller.
Tears build in my eyes as emotion wells up inside me.
Jamie must notice because he links arms with me and says, “Let’s go outside.”
They pull me into a hug once we’re in the courtyard, finding a corner away from the crowd.
“You okay, sweetie?” Jamie asks.
I nod. “They’re happy tears, I promise.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Max asks.
“I guess I just realized that I can’t go back to hiding myself. I want this, I want to be able to go to shows like this, I want to be able to love who I love… I can’t hide anymore. I think I need to tell my family.”
They immediately pull me into another hug, practically crushing me between them in the best possible way.
“We’re here for you, sweetie; however it goes with them, you’ve got us,” Jamie says.
“Aww, well isn’t this sweet,” Kyle’s voice invades the moment like a virus.
“Fuck off, Kyle,” Max says, leaving our huddle to square off to him.
“Ooh, got a different bodyguard this week, have you Donovan?” Kyle sneers.
He thinks I’m weak, the guy who got flustered and ran out on him, who got upset when he called me a frigid virgin.
But fuck him, I’m done with his shit. And there are some parts of me that are Tynerston through and through.
You don’t grow up with a father like Frank and spend all your time around a motorcycle club without learning how to handle yourself.
“I don’t need a bodyguard, Kyle. It’s not my fault you piss people off so much that they’re lining up to punch you.” I clench my fists, ready to defend myself if I need to.
“The fuck did you just say?” He steps into me, a look of fury crossing his face.
“You heard me.”
A hand gently grips my arm. “Leave him, Donovan,” Jamie says, “we’ve had the most amazing night, don’t let his pathetic ass ruin it.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say, looking Kyle dead in his eye. “He’s not worth it.”
We stare each other down for what seems like minutes, but it’s probably only a few seconds before he storms off. As much as I wanted to punch him, I’m glad it didn’t come to blows. I’ve never actually been in a fight, no matter how many I’ve seen, so it could have gone badly.
“You okay?” Max asks. “You handled yourself well.”
“Yeah, just so done with his bullshit, but you’re right, it’s not worth it.”
“Come on, we’ll walk you back to your dorm.”
We walk with our arms linked and it’s comforting, even though I haven’t known them for long, they accept me, and their relationship is what I aspire to. Friends first, then lovers, and they seem so happy.
“Apart from Kyle ruining the moment,” Jamie says, “I’m glad you had that epiphany tonight.”
“Yeah,” I say, “me too.”
“Keeping hold of secrets this big, it drains you,” Max says, “and you shouldn’t have to hide any part of yourself.”
“I don’t want to anymore. Any advice for coming out?”
“Give yourself plenty of time, make the effort to sit down with your mom and stepdad, and be ready to answer any questions they have,” Jamie says.
“And if you’re worried,” Max adds, “have an escape route ready. I know that sounds intense, but things didn’t go well for me, and I had no idea what to do.
In hindsight, I wish I’d had a plan in place, somewhere to go or people to go to.
It’s better to have the plan and not need it, than need it and not have it. ”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” I say.
“We’ll be your plan,” Jamie says, leaning his head against mine as we walk. “If things don’t go well, you get on a train and come straight to us.”
“Thanks.” Tears well up in my eyes again at them offering me so much support. “You’re amazing, both of you.”
“You too, sweetie,” Jamie says, as they sandwich me in a hug and squeeze, I’ve never felt so included before.
After we say our goodbyes, I head up to my room, and I’m pleased to find a picture message on my phone from Stephen. It mirrors the one I sent him earlier, his chest and abs still beaded with water from the shower and his towel tented, teasing me with what’s underneath.
Fuck me, my boyfriend is hot.
I crawl into his bed, wrapping myself in the covers and nuzzling into the pillow; wishing it was him, but enjoying his lingering scent. He’ll be back tomorrow, and I get this for real, and right now, that feels like all I need.