Chapter 20
Stephen
I’ve felt like a zombie this entire week, going through the motions, plastering on a fake smile every time someone congratulates me, which seems to happen a million times a day.
Being a player on the varsity team means that I’ve always been relatively popular, but this week everyone seems to think they’re my best friend, even if they’ve never spoken a single word to me before.
I’m beginning to get an understanding of what Mindy was saying, now that the news of me starting is out there, I have no privacy at all.
Other guys on the team have been contacted by reporters, and my social media has blown up; to the point where Mindy has taken control of it and I’m not allowed to post or interact with anything without her permission.
There’s no way in hell I’d have been able to shield my relationship with Donovan from any of this, and I’m not even living in Tynerston or been a part of my first press conference yet.
Between all the new attention, wrapping up my classes enough to be able to graduate, and all the research I’m doing for the move, I haven’t even seen Donovan.
I’d hoped to see him around campus, or run into him at the dorm, but when he said it was for the best that we don’t see each other, he clearly meant it.
Leaving without seeing him at all feels wrong, so when my parents arrive Saturday morning to help me move to Tynerston, I ask them to swing by Jamie’s place first. To the outside world, it will look like I’m saying goodbye to friends, but really, I’m desperate to see Donovan again. Fuck, I’ve missed him.
I buzz their building and Max answers, letting me in immediately once he knows who it is.
“Hey,” I say, when he greets me at their door.
“Hey, are you leaving for Tynerston today?” he asks, opening it wider to let me in.
“Yeah, my parents are downstairs, I just wanted to say bye to you both, and… I was hoping to see Donovan.”
“Ah,” he says, “Jamie!”
“Yeah?”
“Stephen’s here.”
Jamie appears, looking more casual than I’ve ever seen him, in sweats and what’s clearly one of Max’s T-shirts.
“Hey you,” he says, pulling me into a hug.
“Hey, I’m heading off and wanted to say goodbye, and I was hoping that maybe Donovan was here?”
I glance at the sofa and see a folded pillow and duvet, evidence of him sleeping there.
“Oh sweetie, you missed him, he just left for the weekend,” Jamie says.
“Left? To go where?”
“I think his brother called and wanted to talk to him; he’s gone to his mom’s place.”
“Fuck,” I whisper; I’ve missed my chance to see him.
“He didn’t tell us why he needed to stay here, but I’m guessing it had something to do with you?” Jamie asks.
I nod. Even though they know I’m pansexual, and understand the situation with football, I wouldn’t be surprised if they hate me for dragging Donovan into this, not when he’s so newly out, and had enough on his plate to deal with.
“Did he say anything about me?”
“No, but he’s been crying a lot,” Jamie says, “and I’m not saying that to hurt you, it’s just that something clearly upset him.”
“Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of crying myself,” I say. “We broke up… I mean, we were together, which you didn’t know, and then we broke up. Not because of anything bad, like an argument, it was just…”
“We get it,” Max says, “you’re under so much pressure with football.”
I nod, tears forming in my eyes. “He said he deserves better than being my secret, and logically I know he’s right. But fuck, I miss him.”
They both pull me into a hug, and I let myself cry against them.
“It sucks,” Jamie says, “I know that’s not helpful, or what you want to hear, but that’s what this is. It’s a shitty situation, and it sucks.”
“Yeah,” Max says, “I know it feels wrong, in every way, but it sounds like you both made the right decision.”
“Then why does it hurt so much?”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Jamie says, tears fill his eyes too as he joins me in crying.
“Do you want us to tell him you stopped by?” Max asks.
“Um… I don’t know, maybe see how he is after talking to his brother. I don’t want to make this harder for him than it already is.”
“Okay,” Jamie says.
“I know it’s hard,” Max says, “but if it hurts this much, you need to make it worth it. You need to go out there and give this shit your all. Don’t lose two things you love.”
I nod, knowing he’s right.
“Thanks guys.” I pull them in for another hug. “I’m guessing you’ll want tickets for the games?”
“Uh, duh!” Jamie grins. “I’m sick of watching college players, I wanna watch some real men!”
“For fuck’s sake,” Max grumbles, but the hint of a smile tells me he’s not in the slightest bit annoyed.
“Alright, I’m gonna go and make this worth it,” I say. “Look after Donovan for me?”
“Of course,” Jamie says, “we’ve got him.”
I head back to the car. They’re right, as much as this hurts, I need to make this count. Who knows what the future holds. Right now, I need to focus and get ready to play for the Warriors, make sure that all of my hard work and sacrifices pay off.
We arrive at Marcus’s place late in the afternoon; he was helping me look at places to rent, but when I couldn’t find anything, he suggested I move in with him. The location is perfect, it means I don’t need to worry about getting a car of my own for a while, and it sure as hell beats living alone.
Jordan follows him out the front door and they both head over to greet us.
“Hey, brother!” Jordan says.
“Hey,” I give each of them a quick bro hug and introduce them to my parents. “I wasn’t expecting a welcome committee,” I chuckle.
“You think I’m gonna let my new teammate move all by himself? You’re crazy!” Jordan laughs.
“What am I exactly?” Marcus shoves him. “He’s not alone.”
“Yeah, but I figured you wouldn’t wanna do any of the heavy lifting, gotta protect your throwing arm and all.” Jordan dodges a punch and runs to the trailer to help my dad with some boxes.
“Dick,” Marcus chuckles. “You ready for this, rookie?”
“It still doesn’t feel real, ask me again after training tomorrow.”
“Yeah, no more classes means no more rest time. You’re here to work, boy.”
“Well I’m ready for that.”
“Good, come on, let’s get you moved in.”
With the five of us it doesn’t take long to get my stuff to the room.
Marcus’s house is huge, I can’t believe it’s only him that lives here, but I guess with the quarterback salary he can afford it.
Downstairs is an open plan space, a U-shape sofa surrounding a huge TV, a dining area with a table to seat ten, and a state-of-the-art kitchen with all the latest gadgets.
My room is twice the size of the dorm, and my stuff looks tiny in the space, barely filling a corner.
But I like it, the king-size bed is comfy, and I hope I’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep in it.
I haven’t had one since Donovan moved out; sleeping without him feels too strange, I miss his body curled up against mine.
Shaking off those thoughts of him, I return to the kitchen to find Marcus in conversation with my parents.
“Do you have plans tonight, Vanessa?”
“We’ve got a room booked at the Hamilton, which is very fancy for us,” she chuckles.
“Maybe a nice meal out somewhere,” my dad adds, kissing her on the cheek.
“You’re more than welcome to stay and eat with us,” Marcus says. “We were going to order pizza and have a movie night to settle Stephen in. Although I definitely won’t judge you if you choose the Hamilton and a fancy restaurant.”
“You’re very kind,” she says, “but we’ll leave you boys to it, we know you’ve got training tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say, moving to stand next to her and pulling her into a hug.
As much as I’d love them to hang out, it will be nice to just relax with Marcus and Jordan for a bit.
“Alright, we’ll leave you to it,” my dad says. “You’ve got a great place here, Marcus, thank you for letting Stephen live with you.”
“No thanks needed,” he says, “it will be nice to have the company.”
“Hey!” Jordan punches him lightly on the shoulder. “What am I?”
“You don’t live here,” Marcus chuckles, “even if you eat my food like you do.”
We make our way to the door, and when we reach it, Dad pulls me into a hug and whispers, “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I say, extending our hug that little bit longer than usual.
He understands better than anyone how hard I’ve worked to get here, and even though he does it all the time, having him say he’s proud of me is one of the best feelings in the world.
“I love you,” Mom says, pulling me into a hug of her own.
“I love you too, Mom.”
“Alright, sweetheart,” Dad chuckles, taking her hand. “You can still see him all the time.”
“I know, I’m just proud.”
I wave them off from the door before returning to the others in the kitchen.
“Sorry about that,” I chuckle, “I think they still see me as a kid.”
“Oh that doesn’t change,” Jordan laughs, “you’ll meet my mom at one of the games and see that she’s exactly the same.”
“Mine too,” Marcus says. “Anyway, pizza?”
“Sounds great.”
“I shouldn’t have eaten that last slice of pizza,” I groan, as Ted shouts for us to do another round of up-downs.
“No-one made you eat it,” Jordan laughs beside me.
“I know, I blame myself.”
“Faster, Choi, faster!” Ted shouts, causing Jordan to laugh even harder.
“I’m gonna die,” I mutter.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Jordan says, “this is the best cure for a pizza hangover.”
“I’ll remind you of that next time you moan the day after getting third helpings of Bri’s mac ‘n’ cheese.”
“Nah, mac ‘n’ cheese is a different type of hangover, this doesn’t work for that.”
“How convenient,” I chuckle.
“If you’re talking, you’re not working hard enough!” Ted shouts.
I go back to counting up-downs, praying that I don’t in fact throw up and make an absolute fool of myself.