Chapter 22 #2
“After they asked me to come and play full time, they gave me media training, and told me about relationships and stuff, told me to avoid anything that might be a scandal. I told Donovan and he ended it. I don’t blame him; he’d just come out to his family, he wanted to be free for the first time, and I was trapping him again. ”
“I’m so sorry,” he says.
“It was everything you warned me about after the Draft, about needing to hide myself even more. I should have listened to you, Dad.”
I let myself cry a few tears as he pulls me into his side for a hug.
“I know we talked about it,” he says, “but it doesn’t mean that you made the wrong choice at the Draft, you didn’t even know Donovan back then.
And you can’t stop yourself from developing feelings for someone; it just happens.
As for him ending it, there was no right or wrong answer, it was just a very difficult choice, for both of you. ”
“Hmm,” I murmur.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting, but remember, you never know what the future holds. If there’s something real between you and Donovan, who knows what might happen. Look at your friends, Max and Jamie, it took them years to get together.”
“Yeah,” I nod, “you’re right. They know all about me and Donovan ending, and told me to focus on football, make this all worth it.”
“That’s good advice, you’ve got yourself some great friends there.”
“Thanks Dad.”
“You don’t ever need to thank me, you know we’re always here for you.”
He hugs me a bit tighter, before releasing me just in time for Paul to return, wheeling in a clothing rail full of black suits, before leaving us again.
“There is another downside to this,” Dad murmurs.
“What’s that?”
“I’ve got to go home and admit to your mom that she was right; she predicted something would happen between you and Donovan from the start.”
I laugh, which after everything we’ve talked about was the last thing I expected, but it’s been good to get this off my chest.
“You don’t have to tell her.”
“But I do, you know we don’t keep secrets,” he chuckles. “Although, it also means I owe her a foot massage too, so maybe you can throw some of those Warrior dollars my way and I can book us into a spa instead.”
Paul returns, this time with a rolling table of shirts, ties, shoes, and jewelry boxes.
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to afford that after today,” I murmur.
“Yeah…” Dad says, “I forgot to factor in the cost of inflation from when I was last here, my bad.”
I let out another laugh and elbow him, before going to meet Paul by the rail of suits, which even if they look identical to me, probably aren’t, so I’m in for a very long day.
“Where do you want this veggie tray?” I ask, once I’ve finished arranging the snacks around some dip.
“Just on the table in front of the TV,” Marcus says.
“You got it. Are you sure it’s a good idea to host a video game night before a big game?”
“Trust me,” he says, “it’s the best way for everyone to relax. The guys who live alone might be by themselves, stressing or worrying, at least this way we can hang out together. It’s just healthy snacks, no alcohol, and a group of us trying not to over think tomorrow, it works, I promise.”
“I trust you,” I chuckle.
And he’s not wrong, about ten of the guys show up and it’s perfect. Relaxed and calm, no one is even talking about tomorrow, which is good for me, a chronic over-thinker. Even Joel seems to be in good spirits.
He’s kept his distance these last few weeks, which has been fine, I’d rather he does that than be an asshole the entire time.
But tonight there’s something off about him, he’s almost being too friendly.
I put it from my mind though; trying to work out what’s going on with him is definitely not the best use of my time.
Instead, I spend the evening with Jordan and Tyler, taking it in turns to battle Marcus and Austin on old-school Mario Kart.
My phone buzzes with a notification and I pass the controller to Tyler.
Jamie’s made a social media post, and I can’t resist opening it to check, wondering if there’ll be a photo of Donovan.
It’s a carousel of photos, him sitting on the laps of various men in dark shirts and leather vests, with the caption: Spending my Saturday night with some real leather daddies ;) #BikerFriends #TheyWillBeAtPride #Hot
I zoom in on a couple and see Donovan in the background with who I’m assuming is Beth, going by his description of her.
Jamie and Max must be in Tynerston tonight with Donovan, and the motorcycle club.
Knowing they’re all close by sends a pang of jealousy through my chest. Donovan’s in the same town as me, we’re not separated by distance anymore.
“Is that a dude in a dress?” Joel asks loudly, peering over my shoulder.
A few heads turn in my direction at his words. I can’t be fucked with this tonight.
“Yeah actually, that’s one of my best friends, Jamie. And he’s wearing a dress.” I stand and face Joel, knowing I’m taller than him. “You got a problem with that?”
“Woah, calm down, Choi.” He raises his hands. “No need to get defensive.”
“Really, because it sounded like you were judging my friend, so yeah, I’d get defensive about that.”
“No judgment here,” Joel smirks, “you do you!”
I don’t like the way he says it, the undertone in his voice is too smug, but the last thing I need the night before my first game is drama. I ignore him and sit back down, accepting the controller from Tyler and jumping back into Mario Kart.
“You okay?” Jordan asks, as Joel wanders off.
“Yeah, I just don’t like him saying shit about my friends.”
“Ignore him, the guy’s a prick,” Tyler says, reaching for more carrot sticks and hummus as though they’re chips. “Your friend really wears dresses though?”
“Uh… yeah, he likes dressing up I guess, especially when he goes out with his boyfriend,” I say nervously. “Looks like they’re on a night out at the moment.”
“Fair enough,” Tyler says, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I think it would be too breezy for me.”
Jordan and I both crack up at his comment. “I’ve never really thought about it,” I say, still chuckling.
“Someone has been though,” Jordan laughs, throwing a carrot stick at Tyler.
“Fuck off,” Tyler says. “I watched Braveheart the other night, they all wear kilts and I remember thinking it would be too breezy.”
“Yeah…” Jordan says, “easy access though!” They fist bump while I focus on the game.
“You’re both stupid,” I chuckle, grateful at least that the conversation has moved away from Jamie, and that fucking dick, Joel.
Later that night, after everyone has left and I’m lying in bed, I bring up Jamie’s social media again.
Finding the post and zooming in to find Donovan in every shot.
He’s happy, smiling, surrounded by his friends, clearly having fun.
I finally understand the whole FOMO thing people are always talking about…
fear of missing out… only I fear I’ve already missed out.
I wish I could have been there with them, meeting Beth and his brother, getting introduced to the club.
I open my photos app, it’s still full of pictures of Donovan, some taken with his permission, others taken while he was asleep, his face too beautiful not to capture.
It’s funny, Max and I have talked loads about how much he loves it when Jamie wears dresses, and even lingerie at times.
I never really got it, but now, I’d be lying if I said the thought of seeing Donovan in some lacy lingerie didn’t turn me the fuck on.
I remember the heated look in his eyes when I told him how pretty he looked on his knees for me, his thick lashes would definitely make any girl I know jealous.
Fuck, just the thought of him on his knees is making me hard, and imagining him in lingerie really isn’t helping.
Reaching into my drawer I get some lube; jerking off to him has practically become my nightly ritual.
It’s as though I can still feel his hand pulling my hair as I enter him, the way his body grips my cock, making me never want to leave.
The moans and whimpers that escape as I fill him, stretching him, teaching him to take all of me.
The thought of my name on his lips brings me closer to my orgasm, but it’s the image of him beneath me, covered in our cum that sends me over the edge.
“Fuck, baby,” I whisper to the empty room. “I miss you.”