Chapter 23 #2
My words keep getting cut off as more questions are fired at me about my sexuality, asking if I have a boyfriend, asking if I know someone called Kyle Griffin, asking if my teammates know…
“Everyone, please!” Mindy’s voice stands out amongst the reporters as she reaches my side.
“As Stephen has said, he’s here to talk about football and the incredible win our team just had.
Scoring three touchdowns during his first game is not something to be ignored, but I’m afraid our time is up today. ”
She leads me through the reporters, all still firing questions at me. I follow her blindly, my mind reeling from what just happened. I’m gently guided to a chair, and a bottle of water is given to me with instructions to drink.
“I need to go and deal with this,” she says, but it’s not directed at me, there’s someone else in the room. “Other players are being asked about it and it’s probably going to reach Marcus and Coach Matthews on the podium. Will you stay with him?”
Whoever she’s talking to must agree, because a door opens and closes as she leaves, but I can’t tear my eyes from the floor…
Blue fifty-four… vegas… wing right… green ninety-nine… trap… odd number… ace left… white thirty-six… dash… even number… right… dash right… pink ten… omaha double switch… blue fifty-four… vegas…
“Stephen, drink some water.” Ted’s calm voice fills the space.
I look up at him but he’s all blurry, only realizing then that my eyes are full of tears. They escape with a sob, the overwhelm finally hitting me, to go from such an extreme high to that… it’s too much. I let my head drop into my hands, and the tears fall. It’s over, it’s all over.
Ted sits with me, his hand resting on my shoulder while I cry quietly.
“Did you hear all that?” I ask, my voice is weak and trembling.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you anything. Your sexuality is none of my business, it’s nobody’s business but yours.”
“I guess everyone heard it.”
He sighs, “I’m not going to lie to you, that was a live broadcast, so yeah, a lot of people heard it. But for the record, the reporters are assholes, and they come across like assholes, ambushing you like that.”
“I don’t understand where it all came from, they said something about an article… Who would write that?” I shake my head, trying to figure out how the hell this happened.
“I don’t know. They mentioned a name, Kyle, does that mean anything to you?”
Red clouds my vision and anger builds in my stomach, it’s unlike anything I’ve felt before. Fucking Kyle.
“I know him,” I say, “he was an asshole to my friend, and I punched him, broke his nose.”
“So this is a revenge thing?” Ted asks. “You broke his nose and now he’s trying to sabotage you. Probably making this stuff up out of nowhere, trying to cause the most damage. Especially after what happened with that team last season and all the protests because of the players comments.”
“I guess… maybe.”
“You don’t think so?” he asks.
“Well…” I say, not quite believing I’m about to do this. “Hypothetically, if a player wasn’t straight, would they be off the team?”
He drops his head and sighs. “Honestly, that wouldn’t be up to me—”
“No, I know,” I interrupt, shaking my head. “Forget I even said anything.”
“Stephen…” He brings his hand back to my shoulder and shakes me lightly to look at him.
“It wouldn’t be up to me, but I would sure as hell fight in that players corner.
” He pauses and takes a breath. “My nephew’s gay, and he loves football.
He wants to play more than anything but thinks that he can’t.
I’d love for him to have a player to look up to. ”
“Really?” I ask in shock, tears welling in my eyes again.
“Yes,” he nods.
“I’m not straight, I’m pansexual. I have… I had… a boyfriend, Donovan. He ended it when I moved here because I told him our already secret relationship needed to be even more dialed back. He knows he deserves better than that, and I don’t blame him.”
“That’s a tough situation, but don’t you think you also deserve more than a secret relationship?”
“Logically, yeah,” I nod, tears rolling down my face. “But football is my life, I want to be able to play pro, but I also want him… I love him. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to have both?”
“Well,” Ted pauses, his hands clasping and unclasping in his lap.
“I can’t tell you what to do here, but let an old man give you some advice?
” he asks, and I nod. “This pro shit, it’s not forever, what’s forever is the people you surround yourself with.
I don’t know what Rick and the Coach will say about this, whether you’ll be off the team or not.
But if you want to be out, and you want to be with your man, I’ll back you all the way and push for you to stay.
But there are no guarantees, and ultimately, it’s your decision. ”
What’s forever is the people you surround yourself with…
Fuck. I love Donovan, and I lost him for a game.
Yes, it’s my career, one that I’ve worked my entire life for, but it’s still a game.
My life has felt empty without him, and it’s only been a month.
Even today, the greatest game of my life, the start of my career, I spent the time wishing he was here, wishing I could share this with him.
Fuck, I want him back, whatever the consequences.
“I know what I want to do,” I say, my voice full of a newfound determination.