Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Faith stepped back and inspected her reflection. There was a beautiful full-length oval mirror in her room at the bed and breakfast, and she was using it to decide on an outfit to wear to dinner that night.
All afternoon she’d been feeling butterflies of excitement and nervousness. She kept imagining all of the Owens liking her a great deal—and then she would imagine them being bored with her or showing signs of dislike. She’d done her best to keep picturing positive outcomes, but she didn’t want to think about that too much either. She didn’t want to get her hopes up only to have them dashed.
She didn’t know how formally to dress. Was it the kind of dinner where people would just show up in sweatshirts and jeans, or was it more of a business-casual type of dinner? She didn’t know how rich the Owens were, or what their family culture was. She didn’t want to show up looking overdressed and come off as stuffy or arrogant, but she also didn’t want to show up looking too casual and come off as disrespectful.
She bit her lip, looking at the pale blue pantsuit she’d put on. It was one of her favorite outfits, and one that had always helped her to feel more confident, but it was decidedly more on the formal side. She didn’t want to wear the wrong thing, even if it was kind of a comfort outfit for her.
I could lose the pearls, she thought, biting her lip as she inspected her reflection. And I could switch from heels to flats.
Into her mind popped an image of herself wearing the pantsuit with a pair of black Converse, and the picture made her laugh out loud. She wondered if she would ever become that kind of person—someone so laid back she would feel free to defy people’s expectations without hesitation.
After staring at herself for another few minutes, she shook her head with a sigh. It just wasn’t right—she didn’t know the Owens all that well, but she hadn’t gotten the sense that they were the kind of family who got overly dressed up for dinner nights.
She had exchanged numbers with Alexis, and she knew that she could just text her cousin and ask her what sort of thing she should wear, but she felt shy about doing so. She didn’t want to come off as nervous or over-eager, and she felt sure that texting Alexis to ask that question would make it clear that she was extremely nervous and abundantly over-eager.
She took off the pantsuit regretfully and began to rummage in the closet, where she’d hung up all of the clothes that she’d brought with her to start her new life. Toward the far end of the closet, she came across a pale yellow sundress that she’d almost forgotten about. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn it, and she wondered if it still fit her.
I do love dresses, she thought, taking it out of the closet and spinning in a circle to watch the fabric of the skirt ripple. She smiled. I never liked to wear them while working on cases because I didn’t want to appear too soft.
She slipped the dress on over her head and tugged it into place. She couldn’t help grinning when she saw her reflection in the mirror. The dress was flattering and had a cheerful quality about it that she liked to see on herself.
She turned slowly back and forth in front of the mirror, liking what she was seeing. It was too cold out to wear the sundress by itself, but she decided it would look wonderful with a black leather jacket that she owned. The dress was knee-length, and she had a pair of black knee-high boots that would match the black leather jacket perfectly.
She put on the jacket and the boots, along with a gold necklace and a pair of gold hoop earrings.
“I look a little bit like a bumblebee,” she said out loud, and laughed. Even if she did, she loved what she was seeing. Even more than the cute outfit—which seemed to be a happy medium between getting dressed up and wearing something casual—she loved seeing how happy she looked. It made her feel as though she really was making progress in becoming a new woman, and she held her head up high as she gazed at her reflection.
She glanced at the clock over the mantelpiece and realized that it was time for her to leave. Her nerves returned in a rush, but she forced herself to squash them down and put her best foot forward.
She’d bought another bottle of wine to bring to dinner, and she grabbed the bag that it was in along with her purse and headed toward the door. As she was leaving, she glanced back at her bed, onto which she’d tossed at least seven discarded outfits. She wrinkled her nose and then laughed again. She would put them away later that night. She had a feeling she would want something to do with her hands while she thought about how dinner went. She hoped with all her might that it went well, and that her thoughts about it would be pleasant.
She left the bed and breakfast and got into her car. She had practically memorized the route to Vivian’s house from the inn earlier that day, but she still turned on her GPS and let it guide her through the cozy streets of Rosewood Beach.
Lights were on in the houses she passed, revealing warm and inviting homes. She saw people laughing through the windows, sitting on couches watching TV or eating dinner together. Her heart stirred, and she wished she had a place like that to come home to. She imagined that she would feel so safe if she had a family that she could go see when things were rough. Having four walls and a roof over her head were not the same as having an oasis for her heart and soul.
The closer she got to Vivian’s, the more nervous she became. She realized how much she wanted her long-lost family to become an actual family to her, and the thought of everything not working out made her heart ache sharply. She felt she wouldn’t be able to bear it if it turned out that they didn’t like her or didn’t want to spend time with her again.
She pulled up to Vivian’s house. It was a charming white house with blue shutters, bordered by orderly flower beds which were already beginning to show signs of growth. It had the look of a place that had been and was still well used, but also well cared for and well loved. She swallowed back a lump that was rising in her throat. It reminded her a little of her childhood home, which had been sold after her parents passed away.
She turned off the engine of her car and sat there, staring at the house. She almost didn’t want to get out of her car. She felt as if she was about to open a door to her future, and the idea made her heart skip a beat.
If they don’t like me all that much, I’ll go somewhere else, she thought. I could move anywhere. Maybe Paris.
She smiled to herself, but the knot in her stomach told her that it wasn’t that simple. She might be able to move anywhere else, but she didn’t have family anywhere else.
She wished she’d spent more time honing her social skills during the past decade, instead of working almost all the time. When she’d gone out with her lawyer friends, it had been easy. They talked about their cases and complained about terrible clients together. It was all they ever talked about. She found herself completely tongue-tied at the prospect of having to talk about anything else.
I feel completely unprepared for this, she thought, pressing her lips together.
Into her mind flashed the memory of Ryan teasing her about seeming like the kind of woman who always had a plan. She felt oddly comforted by the thought of him, and she smiled quietly to herself. He’d been right—she had always been the kind of person who had a plan. She’d planned out her career, her finances, and even her daily schedule down to ten-minute increments. Now, however, she was driftless. She’d been unsure of what to do ever since she’d arrived in Rosewood Beach. What had happened to her?
She took a deep breath, reminding herself that it was a good thing that she’d learned to take life more easily. It was part of her healing process to not feel as though she needed to meet a goal every second of every day. And the reality was that her decision about whether or not to stay in Rosewood Beach didn’t depend on her alone. She couldn’t know how to move forward until she had a better sense of how her family would feel about her staying there.
She found herself thinking about Ryan again. She hoped that things were going well for him, now that he was back at his job in Colorado. She hoped he was getting at least a little rest.
Her spirits lifted slightly at the thought of him, and she looked at the house. She could imagine Ryan sitting there beside her in the car, encouraging her to not over-think it and just go on inside. She found herself hoping that things worked out with the Owens not only because she wanted a family, but because she hoped that she would get to stay in Rosewood Beach and see Ryan again.
Doing her best to steady her nerves, she got out of her car and started up the driveway toward the house. The lights were on inside, glowing into the night. It was like the houses she’d passed, filled with warmth and laughter and a sense of home. She could see her cousins sitting on the couches in the living room, talking animatedly over a card game that they were playing on the coffee table.
She felt a sudden surge of eagerness that blended with her anxiety as she stepped up to the front door and knocked.
“Come in!”
“It’s Faith!”
“Don’t just shout at her, we should let her in.”
“I’ll do it!”
A moment later, a grinning pre-teen with long blonde hair opened the front door.
“Hi,” she said, extending her hand for a handshake. “I’m Sam. Nice to meet you, Cousin Faith.”
“Hi,” Faith said a little breathlessly, shaking Samantha’s hand. She hadn’t been expecting to be greeted by a kid, and the surprise was a bit of a relief. Samantha’s warm, cheerful energy helped make her feel at ease. “I’m happy to be here.”
“We’re glad you’re here,” Alexis said warmly, stepping forward and beaming at Faith. “Welcome to the Owens family homestead.”
A young man with messy dark brown hair and a crooked smile who she hadn’t met before—at least, she didn’t remember meeting him—snorted with laughter and offered Faith a handshake. “Hi, I’m Dean. I’ve been wanting to meet you ever since I heard legends of your arrival.”
“Legends?” Faith echoed nervously. She wondered if Vivian, Alexis, and Julia had been so surprised to see her that they’d made her sound like some kind of strange person arriving in Rosewood Beach. But she convinced herself a moment later that wasn’t true, considering the friendly way Dean was grinning at her.
“I’m Hazel.” A woman with wavy dark blonde hair and blue-green eyes gave Faith a hug. “I’m Samantha’s mom. Welcome.”
Faith felt her heart skip a beat. So far, they were all being incredibly welcoming, but she hardly knew what to do with herself. She felt overwhelmed by being surrounded by so many unfamiliar faces at once, and she was at a loss for words. She thought to herself that it was crazy that she could feel in full command of the space in a courtroom or even at an office party, surrounded by high-profile professionals, but feel so lost in a cozy home surrounded by family members.
There were even more people sitting on the couches in the living room, who were looking at her and smiling. There were three other men and another woman, all of whom looked friendly, and Julia, who was sitting in an armchair and frowning slightly at the floor. Faith’s heart sank a little when she saw her cousin’s expression, and she wondered if Julia’s frown had anything to do with her. Had she made Julia uncomfortable in some way?
One of the men was holding an adorable toddler, and he handed her to Julia with a smile.
“Hang onto Macey for a second, would you?” he asked Julia.
Julia brightened when the toddler settled down on her lap for a snuggle, and she looked up at Faith and grinned at her. Faith let out an internal sigh of relief, realizing that Julia’s expression must have been about something else.
“Hi, I’m Cooper,” the man said, walking up to shake Faith’s hand. “I’ve been really excited to meet you. I’m Julia’s fiancé, and that little bundle of joy over there is my daughter Macey.”
“She’s darling,” Faith said, finally feeling as though she knew what to say.
Vivian came into the living room, wearing a pink and white striped apron and smiling broadly. “Dinner’s just about—oh, hi, Faith!” She hurried across the living room and gave Faith a hug. “Have they all introduced themselves yet?”
“Almost.” One of the other men, who had a beard and kind gray eyes, waved to her. “I’m Jacob, Hazel’s boyfriend.”
“I’m Noelle, Dean’s girlfriend,” said a lovely woman with light brown hair and a bright smile. “We’re so excited you’re here!”
“And I’m Grayson, Alexis’s husband,” said a polished-looking man with ash brown hair. He seemed to still have a bit of a city air about him, and he was wearing a gray blazer with his dark jeans. Faith noticed in that moment that everyone’s wardrobe choices seemed to be all over the place. Dean was wearing jeans and a hoodie, Noelle was wearing an oversized sweater with leggings, Alexis was wearing a comfortable maternity dress, and Julia was wearing dark slacks and a royal blue blouse. She felt a ripple of relief as she realized that her fashion choices definitely fit right in.
“Hi, everyone,” Faith said, smiling and managing to sound less breathless. “I’m glad… well, thanks for inviting me.”
“Of course.” Vivian grinned at her. “Just give me two more minutes, and dinner will be all ready. Grayson and Hazel, would you help me carry the dishes out to the dining room in a second here?”
“You got it!” Hazel scampered over to her mother and Grayson stood up with a smile.
Faith glanced curiously at the card game they’d all been playing. She felt a little bad about interrupting them at it, but they all seemed perfectly content to put it on pause for a while. She was struck by what an affectionate, close-knit circle they seemed to be.
Could I ever fit in here? she wondered. In the same way the rest of them do? Is there room for me?
“Come on, let’s go into the dining room right away,” Samantha said, as if the house was her own personal creation and she wanted to show it off. “I helped set the table. We used these antique blue glass dishes Grandma has. It looks really nice.”
“Sure. I’d love to see it.”
Samantha led Faith into the dining room, and everyone else followed. Faith gazed around her with interest as they passed through the house. Just like the outside, it gave off an aura of having been well used and well loved, and she noticed how clean and tidy it was.
“It’s a beautiful home,” she said to Alexis, who was walking beside her.
“You’ve been here before,” Alexis said with a twinkle in her eyes. “Do you remember any of it?”
Faith looked around in surprise. She didn’t consciously remember the house at all, but she did feel unusually comfortable in it, which implied that part of her mind considered it to be a familiar place. “I don’t really, but… the smell! It smells like cloves and citrus in here. I’ve always loved this smell. Has it always smelled like this?”
“It has,” Julia said from behind them. “Mom’s got this essential oil blend she uses for cleaning. I know what you mean about the smell. One time in New York I found a candle that smelled similar to how it smells here, and I just about burst into tears, I missed home so much.”
Alexis shook her head. “I’m so glad we both moved back home. Rosewood Beach is the absolute best place on earth to live.”
She said it encouragingly, as if it had already been decided that Faith was going to stay there forever. Faith felt her heart skip a beat. She wondered if she would end up staying there permanently. The town had certainly charmed her, and so far, her family was acting incredibly friendly and welcoming.
“Just wait until you taste this food, Faith,” Noelle said as they stepped into the dining room. “I can guarantee you that you haven’t had spaghetti and meatballs like this ever in your life. It’s going to blow your mind.”
“You’re not a vegetarian, right?” Julia asked.
Faith blinked. “Uh, no. Did someone say that I was?”
“No, we just wanted to make sure. Mom realized she didn’t know if you had any dietary restrictions or not.”
“Oh.” Faith wished that she’d thought to tell them that she didn’t have any. “No, I don’t. I’m not allergic to anything or anything like that.”
“That’s what we figured,” Julia assured her, smiling.
They sat down at the table together, but Faith felt worried that Vivian had been stressed about not knowing if she had any special dietary needs or not. She spent a few moments wishing that she’d thought to say something to Alexis. Then she took a deep breath and reminded herself that if they’d really been worried, they could have asked her, since Alexis had her number.
She told herself determinedly to not overthink the evening and felt her spirits lift. She was beginning to feel more and more optimistic by the second, since all of the Owens and their significant others seemed genuinely happy to have her there.
“Here we go!” Vivian said cheerfully as she and Hazel and Grayson brought in the food. There were dinner rolls, spaghetti, a dish of meatballs that were letting off a mouthwatering aroma, and a Caesar salad already on the table. “The meatballs are on the side, since I wasn’t sure if Faith is a vegetarian or not.”
Faith felt herself blush, and her regrets came back in a rush. “I’m sorry, I should have told you. I’m not.”
“Don’t apologize!” Hazel assured her, and Vivian echoed the sentiment.
“I just wish I’d thought to ask you before tonight,” Vivian said with a smile. “Besides, I set out three different kinds of shredded cheese in case you were. So it worked out for everyone. I think extra cheese makes this situation a win-win.”
“Especially me,” Dean said with a huge grin. “I love cheese.”
Everyone laughed, and Faith felt her tension begin to evaporate. She felt grateful for how kind and uplifting her relatives were.
“So,” Vivian said once everyone had generous helpings of food piled onto their plates. “How was everyone’s week?”
Faith thought to herself that Vivian looked a little bit like a queen, looking over her table of advisors. The head of the Owens household carried herself with grace and dignity, and Faith found herself admiring her a great deal.
The Owens family began to share how their weeks had been going one by one. Samantha talked about how she’d gotten an A plus in a science project at school, and Hazel told a funny story about someone trying to bring a pet pig into the hospital to see a doctor about a toothache. Dean talked about the mechanic shop that he ran, and Julia updated everyone on how her wedding planning was going. Faith couldn’t help noticing that she seemed a little worried while she was talking about it. Grayson said that he had nothing interesting to report besides trying to keep Alexis’s manic nesting impulses at bay, and Alexis laughed and eagerly told them all about her plans for redecorating her home.
“What about you, Faith?” Hazel asked, turning to her cousin with a smile. “How has your week been?”
“Well, I haven’t done much,” Faith blurted, and then laughed. “I can’t believe I’m saying that. I couldn’t even tell you what I did this week, really. Lots of reading and journaling and sitting in coffee shops or going on walks.”
“Sounds incredible.” Alexis nodded in approval. “You’re here to rest, right?”
“Yes, for now. I—well, the doctors told me that I needed to change my lifestyle.”
Everyone around the table blinked.
“Doctors?” Samantha asked. “Are you okay?”
Faith found herself chuckling. “Yes, I am now. Before I left Boston, I had a terrible panic attack. My chest hurt and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d thought at the time that it might be a heart attack, so I went to the hospital to make sure. It wasn’t, but the doctors told me that I needed to stop keeping myself in a constant state of stress.”
“You were working too much?” Grayson guessed. From a comment Alexis had made during their conversation at The Salty Spoon, Faith had the sense that he’d been a bit of a workaholic himself until he’d quit his old job and followed his wife to Rosewood Beach to repair their marriage.
She nodded. “Almost all the time. And taking on a lot of high-profile cases with high stakes. I’d always told myself I wanted to be a lawyer, but the reality is that I’m too… I don’t know, emotionally sensitive for that kind of work? Some of the cases I was dealing with really weighed down on my sense of morality and my compassion.”
“Makes sense.” Hazel gave Faith a sympathetic expression. “I bet moving forward you could find work as a lawyer that didn’t make you so exhausted.”
“Maybe.” Faith shrugged, not wanting to contradict Hazel, but feeling as though she wouldn’t be able to go back to that kind of work without ending up just as stressed and overworked as she had been before.
“What made you decide to visit Rosewood Beach?” Cooper asked her as he cut up another one of the large meatballs for Macey.
“Well, I—I didn’t want to stay in Boston,” Faith said. She didn’t want to confess that she hoped to be included in their family. It felt like too forward of a thing to say, and she didn’t want them to feel pressured to accept her. “I realize after my panic attack that I didn’t have any strong connections there, just some moderately good work friends.”
“Rosewood Beach is a great place,” Jacob said. “I’ve lived here my whole life, and I have no complaints.” He laughed. “Where do you think you’ll go from here?”
Faith’s heart sank. If they were all expecting her to leave town after a while, maybe that’s what she would end up doing. She didn’t want to overstay her welcome, and being friendly and welcoming for an evening was not the same thing as wanting her to be a permanent addition to their lives.
“I’m not sure,” she confessed. “I’m usually a person with a detailed plan, so this whole starting over without a concrete agenda is really new to me. All I know for sure is that I needed a change from the way my life was in Boston.”
Vivian smiled at her reassuringly. “There’s no need to rush to try to figure it out. You’re here right now, and we’re thrilled you’re here. I’m so thankful that you’ve entered our lives again, even if it ends up being for only a little while. I’m grateful for whatever time you get to spend here in our small town.”
Faith had to blink back tears as she smiled back at Vivian. She felt overwhelmed by all the support and understanding she was experiencing. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. I’m really grateful I get to spend some time here and meet all of you.”
The meal continued, and most people had seconds of the delicious pasta. When dinner was over, everyone helped clear the plates and serving dishes and bring out what was needed for dessert. Vivian and Julia had prepared a treat of brownies a la mode, and even though Faith felt full from dinner, she realized she could definitely fit in some dessert as well.
“Smells incredible,” she said eagerly, inhaling the rich, chocolatey aroma of the gooey brownies.
“Thank you,” Julia sang out cheerfully. “There are peanut butter chips in this end of the pan, and walnuts in this end. Pick your poison. And we have caramel sauce, strawberry sauce, and chocolate sauce to go on top of the vanilla ice cream.”
“I recommend strawberry and caramel at the same time,” Samantha said. “But apparently I’m the only one who thinks that’s good.”
The group continued to talk and laugh while Julia and Dean dished out the brownies and ice cream. Faith blended all three sauces in a kind of Venn diagram across the top of her dessert, and she agreed with Samantha about the strawberry and caramel tasting great together.
“See?” Samantha said triumphantly when Faith told her so.
“I’m not opposed to it,” Dean said. “I’m just not willing to give up the taste of just caramel and chocolate sauce. It’s like, one of my favorite things in the whole world.”
“Hmm, noted,” Noelle said sweetly, and Faith had a feeling she was planning on making something for Dean involving chocolate and caramel.
Dean and Noelle exchanged an adoring glance. Faith felt happy for them, but she wondered if she would ever get to experience the kind of love they clearly shared. She’d spent so much of her adult life without a partner, so it was more than probable that a relationship just wasn’t in the cards for her.
When they were finished eating dessert, they cleared the table together. Alexis, Dean, and Noelle volunteered to stay in the kitchen for a while to put everything into the dishwasher or wash it, and the rest of them went into the living room to decide on a board game to play.
“How about that one where we all play against the board?” Hazel suggested. “You love that one, right, Sam?”
The pre-teen nodded. “That board plays dirty. It’s always a pleasure to beat it.”
“Faith will probably be good at that one,” Jacob teased. “She’s used to trying to outsmart people who play dirty. All lawyers have to be good at that, right?”
Faith laughed. “Yeah, sometimes.”
“Good, let’s play that then,” Grayson said. “I wouldn’t want to have to play cards against Faith. All the lawyers I used to play in L.A. were absolute killers at poker. I’m still scarred for life from it. I have nightmares.”
Faith grinned at him. “I am actually pretty good at poker.”
Grayson pretended to shudder, and everyone laughed. Faith liked that they were teasing her about being a lawyer. It made her feel accepted.
By the time they’d set up the board game on the coffee table—the card game that the Owens had been playing when Faith had first walked in had to be officially abandoned, but no one seemed to care—Dean, Noelle, and Alexis had finished cleaning up the kitchen. They all sat down around the coffee table with cups of decaf coffee or tea and began to play the game.
Faith soon agreed with Samantha’s statement that the board liked to play dirty. They were soon all talking over each other and making good-natured suggestions about how to win the game. Even when their opinions differed greatly, no one got irritated or condescending.
Faith was enjoying herself immensely. She had a quick mind, and it was thrilling for her to be able to use it for something fun and pressure-free. After an invigorating battle with the board, they won the game at the last moment. Everyone cheered.
“That was epic,” Samantha said, flopping back against the couch cushions. “I think we really outdid—” She didn’t finish her sentence because a massive yawn overtook her.
“Time for bed,” Hazel said with a smile. “You’ve got school tomorrow.”
Samantha wrinkled her nose but stood up. “Okay. I guess I am pretty sleepy.”
“We should go too,” Cooper said, glancing over at Macey, who was sound asleep in Julia’s lap. “Macey can sleep anywhere these days, but I want to get her settled in for the night sooner rather than later.”
“I can hardly believe the evening flew by so quickly,” Faith said, glancing at her watch. “That was amazingly fun.”
They all stood up slowly, all clearly a bit reluctant to leave. Faith thought wistfully that although the time had gone quickly, she felt rejuvenated and at peace. She was used to the sensation of time flying by, but she hadn’t realized it could pass quickly and still leave her feeling energized and relaxed. Her previous existence, filled with fast-paced work, had always left her feeling worn out and overstimulated.
She found herself wanting to stay in Rosewood Beach forever, with these people as her family. She wanted to keep having nights like that evening for the rest of her life.
I can’t stay here forever, though, can I? she wondered. I haven’t been invited for that. But at least I had tonight. I’ll never forget it.
“It was so great to get to talk with you, Faith,” Hazel said, giving her a hug on her way out.
The other Owens siblings expressed similar sentiments, and everyone hugged Faith or shook her hand. Vivian was the last one to say goodbye, and she squeezed Faith tightly the way only a mother could.
“Don’t be a stranger,” she said into Faith’s ear.
“I won’t,” Faith promised, and walked out into the night. Overhead, the stars were glittering and a cool wind rushed against her face. An owl hooted in the distance, and Faith found herself greatly looking forward to taking a bubble bath and drinking a mug of tea in bed. She always got up early in the morning, but she told herself that maybe the next day, she would sleep in longer. She had a feeling that she was going to be wide awake for a while, thinking over how magical the night had been.