Chapter 7
Seri
I swirled my pencil across the notebook page, adding tiny whiskers to Brumous’ sketched face. The library around me was quiet except for the occasional rustle of my wolf pup shifting positions on the plush rug beside my chair.
“You like my drawing, Brummy?”
I tilted the paper so he could see the sketch of him chasing a bunny. His tail wagged against the floor, eyes bright as he looked up at me. I smiled and reached down to scratch behind his ears.
“Thanks, my baby, but I should really be studying.”
My gaze drifted to the ancient, leather-bound tome resting on the desk. Celestine’s Theories on Lunar Magic beckoned with secrets I should be absorbing, especially since my ward against siphoning was still so incomplete, but the symbols swam before my eyes whenever I tried to focus.
All I could think about was how my three husbands had exchanged strange, serious looks at breakfast.
“We need to check something in the security room,” Casimir had said, his voice measured and calm as always. “Then we’d like to speak with you, Seri.”
Zane hadn’t even cracked a joke. That worried me most of all.
“What do you think they want to talk about, Brummy?” I added a fluffy cotton tail to the bunny, and he huffed in reply. “Are you suggesting they want to talk about treats?”
But my stomach twisted with worry. Had I done something wrong? Was I not fitting in at Evermere the way they’d hoped? Maybe they’d realized I was too damaged after everything with my stepfamily. Too empty after the siphoning. Too worthless…
The sound of footsteps in the hallway made me quickly flip my old notebook closed and straighten in my chair.
Casimir entered first, commanding the space as always. Koa followed, his dark eyes scanning the room before settling on me. Zane sauntered in last, hands in his pockets, but none of his usual mischief animated his features.
“Hi,” I said, my voice coming out higher than intended. “Did you fix whatever needed fixing?”
“For now.” Casimir nodded.
The three of them settled around me, Casimir taking the wingback chair opposite me, Koa perching on the couch to my left, and Zane hovering behind me.
“What’s this?” He plucked my notebook from my hands. “Secret diary?”
“Just some sketches,” I mumbled, heat rising to my cheeks.
He flipped it open, and his eyebrows shot up.
“Hey, these are pretty good. Look, she drew Brumous chasing a rabbit.”
When Koa held out his hand, Zane passed him the notebook.
“That’s charming, Seri.” He flipped to another page, showing Casimir, who studied it with sharp eyes.
“You have talent, little wife.”
“It’s just doodling.” I ducked my head. “I know I should have been working, but…”
“But it’s boring as sawdust,” Zane finished for me, grinning.
“I think I know something that might make it less boring, though.” I chewed the side of my mouth, wondering if I should ask. There were only three blank pages left in my notebook, but I wasn’t sure I should ask for a new one. It was just for doodling, nothing important.
“Name it, Seri,” Koa coaxed. “Don’t even ask. Just say what you want, and it’s yours.”
“You’ve been so generous already, and it isn’t like I really need—”
“Shut. Your. Beautiful. Mouth,” Casimir said through clenched teeth. “Never accuse us of being generous again. We are your husbands. You are our wife. We provide what you need just as you provide what we need.”
“And what do I provide, Casimir?” I tilted my head to the side, studying his flashing green eyes.
“Heart. Warmth. Love. Home—”
“Pussy,” Zane leaned down to breathe in my ear. “With a grip like—”
“Zoodle!” I hissed and pushed him away. “Behave!”
“Why?” He gave me a smirk that was more of a leer. “I’m much more fun when I don’t, as you very well know. Or do you want a reminder right here and now?”
As more heat flooded my face, Casimir cleared his throat, and just like that, my stomach dropped. The look on his and Koa’s faces made my heart stutter with anxiety.
“Seri,” Koa began, “there’s something we need to discuss with you.”
“You look so serious.” My throat went dry.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Casimir said, but his furrowed brow disagreed.
“Are you…” I twisted my hands in my lap. “Are you unhappy with me?”
“What? No!” Zane looked genuinely shocked as he parked his backside on the corner of my desk.
But I barely heard him over the blood rushing in my ears. The room around me blurred at the edges as my lungs strained, and suddenly I wasn’t in the library anymore. I was back on the driveway, the day I’d first arrived at Evermere.
“Poor little thing. You’ve been sucked drier than a desert.”
“You’re nothing but trash, worthless! Trash on his doorstep! Do you really think your husband will even keep you after seeing you like this? He’ll send you back by dawn!”
I felt a cold nose pressing against my hand and a worried whine.
Brummy?
My sweet, loyal Brumous, trying to shield me, just like that terrible day.
I blinked, my chest still heaving, my body feeling like it had been wrung out and left to dry.
The library ceiling slowly came into focus above me, and I found I was lying on the couch, not seated at the desk where I’d been doodling.
Three worried faces hovered over me, and my fingers were tangled tightly in Brumous’ soft fur as he sat vigilantly near my head.
“You’re safe.” Koa’s eyes never left mine. “It’s okay to be afraid, but you’re safe here. Focus on your breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
I tried to follow his instructions, but it felt like someone had wrapped iron bands around my ribs. The room seemed too bright, too loud, even though it was perfectly quiet except for Koa’s gentle voice.
“That’s good,” he encouraged. “Just like that. You’re doing so well.”
“What happened?” My voice sounded small and distant even to my own ears.
Casimir reached out and ran his fingertips down my cheek, his touch feather-light.
“You had a panic attack. It’s when your body reacts to fear as if you’re in physical danger, even though you’re safe.”
My stepmother had always said I was just being dramatic when I couldn’t breathe after one of their “lessons.” My cheeks burned with shame, and I looked down, focusing on the way my fingers twined in Brumous’ fur.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t!” Zane cut in, an unusual snap in his voice. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for. Not a single thing. Got it?”
I nodded, but felt small, fragile, like a bird with broken wings. The weight of their gazes pressed down on me, and I wanted to disappear. I’d ruined whatever they’d wanted to talk about by having some sort of fit. How embarrassing.
Koa helped me up, keeping his arm around my shoulders as he sat beside me.
“Can you tell us what triggered it? What were you thinking about before it happened?”
I looked down at my hands, my fingers picking at the hem of my shirt.
“I was worried about what you all wanted to talk to me about. You looked preoccupied and stern at breakfast, even Zane, and I thought… I thought maybe… ” The words stuck in my throat.
“You thought what, sweet girl?” Koa prompted.
“That maybe you were going to tell me something really bad.”
They looked at each other, another silent conversation passing between them. This time, though, I realized what they were deciding whether to tell me now or wait until I was strong again. I squared my shoulders, trying to summon every scrap of courage I possessed.
“Please just tell me what’s wrong. I’d rather know than keep imagining the worst.”
And that was all it took for Zane to blurt, “That hawk yesterday wasn’t actually a hawk. It was a magical construct sent by your stepsisters with a curse meant for you.”
Casimir’s hand connected with the back of Zane’s head with a smack.
“Ow! What?” Zane protested, rubbing the spot. “She said she wanted to know!”
“You’re frightening her!”
“No, I’m fine.” Instead of fear, I felt a flutter of curiosity. “A construct? Like a golem?”
“Something like that,” Koa said, watching me for signs of another panic attack. “But it was designed to look and move like a real hawk, but with malicious intent.”
“Oh! Was it supposed to claw me like it did Simmy?” I glanced at his arm, remembering how the hawk had slashed him.
“The hawk was carrying a curse called The Withering Veil.” Koa searched my face as he asked, “Do you know what that is?”
I shook my head with a little shrug.
“You seem remarkably calm about all this.”
“Should I not be?”
I was confused. The curse hadn’t hit me; it had hit Casimir. And my husbands were clearly capable of handling such things. They said they needed to do something in the security room, and I was smart enough to know they were investigating it already.
“You’re taking this news very well.” Zane’s mouth quirked up at one corner. “Most people would be freaking out about magical assassination attempts.”
“I told you she was stronger than you thought.” Casimir’s voice was steady and held a hint of pride I wasn’t sure I deserved. His green eyes softened as they met mine, and I ducked my head, feeling my cheeks warm at the unexpected compliment.
“It’s not that I’m strong. It’s just—” I tried to find the right words. “I thought that you were tired of me. Of my baggage. Of all the trouble I bring you. That you were regretting me. I’m more afraid of that than I ever was of Amabel and Eluned.”
“That will never happen, Serafina,” Casimir rumbled. “Never.”
“Beloved.” Koa took my hand, and his thumb traced gentle circles on my skin. “We’re not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
“Yeah, you’re stuck with us now.” Zane grinned. “We’re like… What’re those things called? Barnacles? Super clingy sea creatures?”
“Barnacles are parasites, Zoodle.” A small laugh escaped me.
“Perfect comparison, then,” Koa muttered, making Zane stick his tongue out at him.
“The point is,” Casimir continued, “the beloved bond combined with the mate bond won’t permit us to separate even if we wanted to.”