Chapter 27 To Go Awry #3
“Smart girl.” He reached across the counter to tuck a curl behind my ear. “They’ll both recover with time.”
“It’s just, I’ve never seen Simmy like this,” I whispered, fear threading through my words.
My stomach twisted at the memory of Casimir’s collapse, how he’d dropped to his knees after we’d secured Amabel, his face gray as cemetery dust, sweat beading on his brow despite his skin turning cold as river stones in winter.
His body had simply given up, shutting down system by system until Koa and Zane had carried him upstairs, tucking him into bed with the kind of gentle reverence they typically reserved for handling explosives.
“That’s why I called Angelo,” Koa said. “If anyone would know about magical trauma, it’s someone from a family with both witches and shifters.”
Angelo della Morte was my husbands’ friend, a skilled fighter who came from a family of witches and belonged to a wolf pack called Five Fangs.
Angelo was a monster hunter, too, despite not being a shifter himself, something he called a “glitch” in his genetics.
I’d met him when Zane called and invited him to Evermere to heal my injuries.
I’d watched Koa’s face during that call, how the fierce lines of worry had etched themselves deeper as he’d described Casimir’s symptoms. Remembered the tinny voice through the speaker, its heavy Italian accent somehow reassuring in its confidence.
“His body is responding correctly to something intense, to something that threatened his most precious. Let him sleep. Sleep is medicine.”
“And the fever?”
“Is his body fighting what his mind cannot,” Angelo had replied. “The fever burns away the fear. You know this, amico.”
Then had come the warning, the part that still lingered in my thoughts as I watched the baby monitor like it might suddenly sprout fangs.
“Be prepared when he wakes. He will panic, si? He will need to see all of you safe with his own eyes. The trauma, it stays with men like Cas. Men who take protection as their purpose.”
I’d hugged my arms around myself at those words, knowing them to be true. I’d seen it in the haunted look in Casimir’s eyes, the raw fear that he’d failed to keep us safe. That he’d lost us.
“You’re sure we shouldn’t take Simmy to a hospital?” The words tumbled out of me for the tenth time today.
“Positive.” Koa’s thumb traced small circles against my leg, a physical tether to keep me from spiraling into panic. “There’s nothing human doctors could do for him, Seri.”
My eyes filled with a familiar guilt bit at me. My poor Zoodle and Simmy, both collapsed in our bed because of me. Because of what my toxic stepfamily had done to us. To them.
“This is all because of me,” I sniffed, my voice cracking.
“Stop.” Koa’s hand covered mine, his touch firm but gentle. “Seri, look at me.”
Reluctantly, I lifted my gaze to meet his.
“None of this, none of it, is because of you.” His eyes blazed with conviction. “This is because Arabesque Harrow is a monster who raised monsters. You are not responsible for her actions or her daughters’ choices.”
“But if I hadn’t—”
“If you hadn’t what? Existed? Been born with magic she wanted to steal?
” His voice grew rough. “Been so damn lovable that three dhampir brothers claimed you at first sight?” His thumb brushed across my lower lip.
“None of this is on you, baby. And just to be clear, we’d do it all again.
In a heartbeat. Do you think Cas or Zane see it that way? That they’re suffering because of you?”
“No, but—”
“There is no ‘but.’ We’re not suffering because of you. We’re fighting for you. With you. There’s a difference.” His kiss against my temple was feather-light. “And not one of us would choose differently.”
I hadn’t realized I was crying until he brushed away a tear with his knuckle.
“I’m not a burden?” The question emerged smaller than I’d intended, and his laugh was gentle thunder.
“The opposite. You’re the reason we’re finally living instead of just surviving.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you. We all love you. Casimir would walk through hellfire for you without a second thought.”
“I’d rather he didn’t have to.”
“That’s what makes you worth it.” He kissed me properly then, a slow press of lips that tasted like promise and protection and the strange, wild fire that had bound the four of us together from the moment we’d met.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered. “Any of you.”
His hand captured mine, pressing my palm flat against the steady thunder of his heart.
“You’re our gravity, Seri. Without you… Without you, we’d still be Lucian’s attack dogs. Now hush and drink your tea.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. Despite weeks of their devotion, of their unwavering support, part of me still couldn’t believe I deserved their love. That I wasn’t somehow bringing disaster to their doorstep.
He pulled me into his arms, and I went willingly, burying my face against his chest, his heartbeat strong and steady.
“I just hate seeing them like this,” I mumbled against his shirt. “Especially Simmy. That must have been horrible to live through.”
“I know, beloved, but he’s strong. And we’re right here to help him through it.”
I nodded, allowing his confidence to bolster my own.
“Thank you, Koko.”
“For what, sweet girl?”
“For being you. For taking care of him. For taking care of me.” I lifted my head to look at him. “For taking care of all of us.” A smile curved his lips, and I caressed his cheek, my heart swelling with gratitude for this strong, steady man. “I love you, Koko.”
“I love you, too.” He leaned down to kiss my lips, but the baby monitor crackled to life, and he froze.
Looking at each other, we listened to Zane sleep-mumbling about using cheese balls for bullets, then burst into laughter. Even now, unconscious and drained, he remained our Zane.