Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HAILEY
14 years old
“ W ho’s this girl you were hanging out with?” I nudge Dean in the shoulder as he bites into a slice of meat lovers pizza. On our stomachs, sprawled across my bedspread, we’re watching Arrow on a twenty-four-inch flat-screen TV.
“Just some girl.”
I don’t buy it. Other than the guys on our high school football team, I’m the only other person he’s ever hung out with.
“Sure.” I consider giving him a break and letting it go, but… Why doesn’t he want to tell me about her?
I tip on my right side, nudging him with my heel this time. “Come on; it’s me. You can tell me anything.”
He sighs like he knows he’s not getting out of this. “It’s the new girl,” he mumbles under his breath.
“Madison Walter?!” My eyes bug out of my head.
“Why are you saying it like that?”
I press my shoulders back. “Like what?”
“With whatever weird gasp that was. As if it would be absurd for me to get a girl like her. ”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…”
Madison Walter is beautiful. Long blond hair that skims the waist of her jeans. Crop tops that show off her perfectly milky skin. Eyelashes that fan her cheekbones when she bats them. It’s not hard to see why Dean likes her. But she’s kind of…
“What?” Dean presses, irritation creeping into his tone.
“I mean, she’s kind of entitled. I just pictured her with one of the Johnson brothers or something, that’s all.”
Nate and Noah Johnson, identical twin seniors with a track record for trolling younger classmen, seem like the perfect fit.
“She’s different than you think.” He rolls his eyes.
“Different how ? She wears a pound of makeup and every time she talks, it comes out all breathy and squealy.” I giggle, and he glares at me. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
He sighs, scrubbing his face with his hands. “No, I get it. It’s not like I’ve ever had a girlfriend before. What makes me think I can keep her?”
I push on his bicep so he’ll stop hiding behind the pizza box. He tips backward on his forearms.
“Come on, Dean. You deserve any girl you’re interested in.”
And I can confidently say that because he’s a twelve out of ten in the chivalry department. I can also attest to how good-looking the guy is, even if I’ve never been interested in him like that.
“Okay, tell me about the version of her you’ve gotten to know,” I say. Maybe that will help me see her the way he sees her.
“Well… she likes horses and listens to country music.” He’s forgotten about the pizza box and is now staring off toward my closet with heart eyes. It makes me feel like a jerk for not catching how into this girl he already is. “She moved here with her grandparents, and she’s really sweet with dogs.” He blushes and I chuckle .
“You have always been a sucker for an animal lover.”
“So, what is it then?” he asks.
“If you like being around girls like her, sometimes I worry you don’t know me very well,” I answer.
“Try me.”
“Do you know why I called you tonight?” I ask.
He paws his slice of pizza around his plate as he thinks on it. “Because your dad didn’t come home again?”
“Close. He came home for ten minutes, packed his camping supplies, and took off for the weekend.”
He frowns at me. The genuine kind that makes me regret ever questioning if he knew me. “I’m sorry, Hayes.”
I shake my head, willing the waterworks back where they belong.
“It’s fine. He has to go back to his stupid job on Monday anyway.”
Dean’s eyebrows crinkle.
“What?” I pry.
He bites his cheek. “I mean, I wouldn’t call it stupid.”
I huff. “He has a teenager without a mother, Dean, and a job that takes him away from me for weeks at a time.”
“Maybe he really loves it,” he says with a shrug.
“Exactly! More than me. Are you really defending him?”
Dean’s always the first one to comfort me when it comes to my dad. But then sometimes he’ll say things like that, and it makes me feel like an overreacting brat.
He squeezes my knee. “No, I’m sorry. I think he should be around more on his time off. There’s no excuse for that. But I also think his job is pretty great, ya know?”
I don’t love the look in Dean’s eyes as he says it. Like he’s daydreaming about what it would be like to be him.
I know he’s not wrong. I’m proud that his job is fighting forest fires—he’s a hero in a lot of people’s eyes. I can’t dispute that fact no matter how hard I try.
“Just promise me we’ll always have each other,” I beg him. “That nothing will come between our friendship?”
He rolls onto his side so he can look at me. Then he sticks out his pinky for me to latch on to. I twist them together and squeeze tight.
“I promise,” he says.
Present Day
I toss and turn alone in my empty room. I don’t know if it’s the reality of being back here sinking in or the fact that it’s below freezing in this ice box. I found an extra quilt in the storage cabinet I’m supposed to call a closet, but between the cement floors and the massive air vent beneath the bed, I couldn’t get warm.
I pull on a pair of workout shorts and a sports bra, hoping a sunrise hike will help. A little blood flow to warm these numb extremities and clear my head.
I take the long hallway past Reed’s room. The temptation to invite him worms its way from my subconscious. The place where I’ve fought to keep my thoughts of him until now.
The warmth of his skin as I took care of him, the heat in his eyes as he watched me. Reed Morgan ignited a fire within me that’s proving hard to put out.
No distractions , I scold myself.
When I make it to the gym, I exit through the side door of the building. Gravel crunches beneath my tennis shoes and I wince, rubbing a hand up and down my arm and shooting a glance over my shoulder. I’m the loudest sound out here and the biggest target.
Focus on something else, Hailey .
The trail. The woods. The pre-dawn air.
I take in the sky—a cloudless state of midnight blue. It glows from a smattering of stars stretching in all directions. I gawk at it, missing the figure cloaked in darkness as he crashes into my side and knocks the breath from my lungs.
“Hayes? What are you doing out here?” Dean squints.
I huff out a laugh as my blood pressure skyrockets. “Oh, y’know… just thought a good bulldozing would be the ideal way to wake up.”
The corner of his mouth quirks up in a half smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. Are you okay?”
Okay would be an understatement. More like shaken up and thankful for the dark. Neither of which has anything to do with almost getting plowed to the dirt.
“Yep. Fine.”
“Are you going for a hike?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “No, I’m going on a bear hunt.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Stupid question. Mind if I join you?”
There’s a very real possibility I could run into a whole host of wild animals out here. I don’t have the faintest clue what to do if one approached me. Regardless of the state of our friendship, having him along might not be such a bad thing. He used to be my safety blanket. Before he went and screwed it all up.
“Sure.” I hold out my arm, motioning him to go first. We don’t need another collision. The next one would end in a bed of sharp sticks.
“You aren’t wearing glasses,” he notices.
I concentrate on his face instead of the uneven terrain beneath my feet. Under the moonlight, a two-inch mark glows white near his forehead.
“And you have a scar through your eyebrow,” I retort.
His eyes drop to the ground .
Did he expect me to come back here the same person as when I left? I doubt he’s the same.
“I got Lasik two years ago,” I say. Not that I owe him an explanation.
He nods. “I stood too close to a branch my buddy was sawing. It gashed open my face when it fell, and the hair never grew back where it scarred.”
Four years. Over twice the amount of time it takes scars to fade. It looks about as light as the ones on my heart. And yet, I feel guilty. For the past but also for right now. I’m sure this is his morning routine, and I’m encroaching on it. Or is it him intruding on me? I let out a sigh. Having him here adds to my already confused thoughts.
My feet pick up their pace as I sort out what to say to him. They carry me. Faster and faster. Until I’m practically running, my heart drumming inside of my chest.
What do you say to the person you used to tell everything to? Someone who was an extension of your family and now feels more like a stranger.
“Do you always walk this fast?” Dean pants.
I’ve managed to weasel my way around him. He’s having to grind his hips back and forth to keep up with me.
“Didn’t know I’d be giving you the workout, did you, Denominator?” I tease him.
The old linebacker nickname slips out before I have the chance to register the intimacy of it. As though we’re not two people marching in a single-file line like distant soldiers readying for battle.
“No, but you’ve always surprised me, Hayes,” he says.
“By coming back here, you mean?” I spin around and splay my arms out wide. “Surprise!”
It’s light enough now to make out Dean’s frown. I think it’s safe to say he received my unplanned arrival as well as my dad did.
“It’s a happy surprise.”
“Tell that to Superintendent Hart.” I turn away from him. “Seems like the two of you are thick as thieves these days.”
He reaches out and snags my bare arm. “Wait.”
The sudden stop jolts me around. He bears his apology in his eyes.
“Tell me how to fix things between us. How can I make it up to you?”
He went back on his promise. I don’t know how he’s supposed to change that now.
“After all those years watching me miss him… you made it so I had to miss you too.”
He runs a palm along the back of his neck. “I didn’t…”
I wait for him to finish that sentence, but he’s searching the sky to pick the right words. It’s taking him way too long to put them together into an “I’m sorry.”
“You know what, I think this might have been a mistake,” I say.
“What part?”
“Me coming back here. Us taking this hike.” Because I’m a lot more winded than I should be for someone standing stalk still. “I’m gonna head back,” I add.
“Hayes, just talk to me. Please . I promise I’ll listen.”
Had he said anything else, I’d have probably stayed. Heard what more he has to say. But that word. Promise . It’s a bitter reminder. Why should I believe this time will be any different?
“That’s the funny thing about promises. You either keep them or you break them.”