Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
REED
M y teeth clench when Hailey starts in on her dating story.
“The first EMT job I ever took was with the Public Health Department. I was assigned to a homeless outreach program, and one of the guys I was helping was a transplant from Texas. We’d conduct health assessments, treat infections, administer vaccines, but this guy didn’t need any of that. He needed a job.
“I hated seeing people struggling to get a start in life, so, on my own time, I helped him get a new suit and lined up an interview at a local restaurant we partnered with to support shelters. After a few paychecks, he offered to repay me by taking me out to dinner. He was nice to look at,” she says, and blushes slightly.
I force my jaw to relax, but the sensation transfers to a clenching in the pit of my stomach. It’s ironic to be out in the middle of the vast wilderness and feel stuck in such tight quarters.
“I thought, why not. If anything, I was new to Utah and could use a friend in the area. At first, it seemed sweet when he asked me a million questions about myself. But then he started dodging the ones I asked about him.” She takes a deep breath that lifts her whole chest and continues. “We were at this really popular Italian place in downtown Salt Lake. It took forever to get our food. So, when he finally had to tell me something, he said that he got laid off from his job in Georgia and moved to Utah for a change of scenery.”
“Georgia’s not Texas,” Marshall pipes up.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Evans chortles.
Where is this story going? Because now I don’t just feel possessive but protective too.
“His excuse was that he grew up in Texas but moved to Georgia for a year after graduation. That wasn’t the only part of his story that didn’t add up either, and a week later, he was arrested at work. The head chef recognized his face on America’s Most Wanted . It turns out, blond Jeremy Scott stole a famous piece of pottery and tried pawning it for money. It launched a full federal investigation against the guy who was now posing as Evan Banks with dark hair.”
“Wow.” Dean chuckles, but it either doesn’t get her attention or she’s still upset with him.
I breathe a sigh of relief. I was afraid that story was going to take a dark turn.
“Yeah, well, not everyone is as good at dating as I am.” She smirks at Marshall and then says, “What about you?”
“You mean, what’s it like to get turned down every time you ask someone on a date?” Murphy jokes.
Marshall pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. It makes his pupils twice as large when he does it.
“It’s okay, Marshall. Logan Murphy wouldn’t know what it’s like to put himself out there. He hasn’t been on a date in four years,” Ramirez says.
Here we go again with these two. Murphy frowns. I didn’t think it was possible for the burly guy to experience this emotion but… is that pain in his eyes?
“I’ll have you know, I went out with this girl one time,” Marshall starts, “and she was beautiful. Like, blond hair big boobs kind of hot. I took her to the state fair, and while we were waiting in line to ride the Ferris wheel, a few of her friends spotted us and stopped to say hi. They were giggling and whispering and squealing and nudging her. She was blushing, so at the time, I thought they had to be talking about me, right? How good looking I was?”
“Let me guess, she lost a bet,” Ramirez says, choking on his water.
“Yeah, to your grandma,” Marshall throws back, and everyone laughs—even Ramirez, who lives with the grandmother in question.
“Anyway, she blushed even harder and then reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She said, ‘Would you take our picture?’ so I wrapped my arm around her at the same moment she shoved her phone against my chest.”
This poor guy .
“But jokes on her.” Marshall reaches into his line pack and unearths a picture of four blond girls with the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen. He’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Now that we’ve established that Marshall is a stalker,” Murphy says. “Jackson.” He nods in his direction. “Your turn, man.”
“First white girl I ever dated asked my father if we were from Africa,” Jackson says. “He’s a fourth-generation Louisianan.”
“At least she didn’t ask if you had a speech impediment.” McCafferty covers his face with his sleeping bag.
“Madison asked you that?”
Dean tenses, his mouth slightly agape when Hailey acknowledges him.
“She made me nervous, and I stuttered in front of her,” he admits.
I’m liking this Madison girl less and less the more I learn about her.
“And you’re still going out with her?” I interject.
He glowers at me. Whether fitting or not, Done Me Dirty is not the time you break the news about a cheating girlfriend in front the entire crew.
“How many times have you been an idiot here,” Dean fires back, “and Hailey seems to still be interested in you?”
“Dean!” she squeaks.
But a playful smile bends McCafferty’s lips, and he slaps me on the upper back. “I was kidding. All right, Morgan. Let’s hear what you got.”
Looking back on my dating history, it’s fairly platonic. What you’d expect from a typical high school and one year of college experience. I don’t talk about this part of my life, so I’ll keep it vague. With everyone’s eyes on me, this is the only thing I can think of to say.
“I spent an entire summer trying to get a girl to fall in love with me.”
“You’re joking,” McCafferty says first.
Everyone’s eyes narrow when they realize I’m serious.
“I wish I was.”
He asks the second question too. “And how did that work out for you?”
“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I shrug at him.
“But did you take off your shirt for her because… damn ,” Ramirez says, smirking.
“Keep it in your pants.” Murphy grunts at him .
“What! You can’t tell me the guy doesn’t look good with an eight-rung ladder for abs.”
“And that will be the end of our game,” Hart interrupts.
A few more jokes get thrown around before everyone crawls in their own bivies. Even after my ant debacle, I still don’t understand how they can stand sleeping in a mummy bag with a net over their faces. But I got luckier than the rest this time; mine happens to have enough room for two.
In the dark, my sense of sound heightens tenfold. Everything feels closer: the crack of limbs buckling, the steady whistle of insects, and the whoosh of the wind circling us. I should be passing out. Rendered unconscious after what I put my body through today. But it’s my mind I can’t turn off.
There aren’t pieces of Teddy and Miles everywhere here like there would have been had I stayed in Bear Lake. But sometimes, like when I make the stupid decision to bring them up, they squat in my mind rent free.
“Reed?” I hear Hailey whisper into the dark. I helped construct her own bivy close enough to mine that they’re practically touching. I assumed she was asleep, but who am I to say when I can’t make out her outline.
“Yeah,” I respond, staring up into the night sky. Not even the brightest stars stand a chance against the smoke that drapes in the air.
“You want to tell me about her?” she asks.
I dip my head to the side she’s lying on as if we’re in the same bed together and I can see her face.
We still haven’t talked about Teddy. We haven’t defined what we are to each other, and I’m afraid she’ll see herself as the rebound girl if I’m really honest with how I once felt about Teddy. So, I make the choice to pretend like she meant less to me than she did.
“About who? ”
“Your summer girl.”
“There’s not much to tell. I spent six summers with her, and she fell in love with my best friend.”
“Did she know how you felt?” she asks.
My cheek rubs against my sleeping bag with my nod. “Yeah. She knew.”
“How?” She sounds flabbergasted.
I sigh, realizing I can’t downplay the truth anymore. “She got in an accident last summer and lost her memory. All the moments we shared together, they were gone just like that. I guess some stupid part of me hoped I could help her get them back. So I spent the summer recreating those moments. But it only led her to remembering him.”
She slips silently from her sleeping bag. I only know she’s done it when I hear the zip of my own. It’s barely wide enough for my body, but I draw back to the edge, and she tucks her hips in so she’s flush against my skin. I help her close the net, distracted by the heat of her breath warming my lips.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “It was always meant to be him; I just didn’t want to see it at first.”
“Reed.” She breathes my name.
I love when she says my name.
“You deserve to be someone’s first choice. Someone’s everything.”
I sweep her bangs out of her eyes and brush my knuckles against her cheek.
But I can’t be your first choice, Hailey , my heart says. Somebody’s already taken that place in your life, and I’m not sure you have enough room for anyone else . Especially if she knew that person chose to spend time with me over her.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be first choice material,” I admit.
The fingers of her left hand clutch the back of my neck as she kisses me softly on the mouth.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Then she melts against my chest and whispers, “You already are.”