Chapter 3
KAITLYN
DECISIONS AND LISTS ARE MADE
Our day was ordinary: dinner was cooking, filling the house with the aroma of brisket.
We planned to eat out on the deck but rain clouds swept in and James said, “Ya know, we’ve been living without any modern comforts for days, I kinda want to be barefoot in the house with the temperature controls flowing. ”
We set the big long dining room table and the kids were invited to join or not.
Archie and Ben wanted to hear all about the visit to the Second Continental Congress.
The girls figured they would probably want to hear stories too.
Everyone gathered in the dining room, all up and down the sides of the table, including Uncle Lochinvar back from having been three days away at Ash’s house.
Zoe said, “Unkie Lochie, I no seen you in fowever.”
The table was set with some of our best china and silver, which seemed fitting, a welcome home to the travelers after their adventure.
And then we served buffet-style and there was total chaos while we filled plates for the kids, called for things from the refrigerator, filled water glasses, and passed out adult beverages. Finally we sat.
Zach unfurled his napkin on his lap and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Magnus. “Finally, good food. Let’s eat, and boy, do we have a lot to tell—!”
We could all tell he knew Magnus would clear his throat. “Yet first we must be thankful.”
Zach said, “I know, I know, just checking.”
Zoe and Isla folded their hands to pray, they were both really into this part.
Fraoch said, “Og Maggy, I ken ye are goin’ tae want tae make this one of yer longer speeches, but might I suggest as yer humble brother and yer elder, though I daena want tae make a fuss of it, ye ken, that ye will keep it short so we can eat.”
Magnus laughed and breathed in deep as if he were going to really launch into a long one. “Our father, thank ye for the bountiful table. We are grateful for the return of our travelers, and this time of peace ye hae given us. Amen.”
We unfolded our hands and Magnus reached for his fork. Then we noticed Fraoch’s hands were still folded. He opened one eye. “That is it? Tis all ye are goin’ tae say?”
“Aye, now ye want one that is longer?”
“I was thinkin’ ye might mention many other things, ye dinna ask for the rain tae clear in the morn for m’fishing trip.”
We all laughed.
Isla said, “Uncle Frookie, your hands are still folded so you just asked for it.”
He grinned. “Och aye, tis true, Isla, I dinna need anyone else tae say it, just my lips tae God’s ears. Amen.” With the corner of his mouth up, about to laugh, he added, “Everyone eat, Og Maggy is done goin’ on and on with his prayer!”
And then the table descended into chaos again as we were reaching for butter and salt, passing things around, and jumping up for more ketchup.
Then, finally, the stories began.
James said, “Okay, so we told you all about Ben Franklin and the—”
Lochinvar said, “Wait, who is Ben Franklin?”
James sighed. “You don’t know who…?”
Fraoch said, “This is a verra good question, Og Lochie, who is this man, is he important?”
James feigned being exasperated. “Important? Jeez, how do I…? Where do I start…? He was a Founding Father—”
Lochinvar leaned forward, his mouth full of brisket. “Of America?”
Ash nodded and patted his arm. “Yes, Lochie, of America.”
James said, “He helped write the Declaration, the Constitution, invented a bunch of cool stuff, one of the most famous men in America, and his face is on the hundred dollar bill!”
Magnus dug in his pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, peeling off a couple until he got to a 100 dollar bill. He held it up to the light to look at it, then passed it to Fraoch. “This is the fellow.”
Fraoch nodded and passed it to Lochinvar. “He must be verra important tae hae his picture on the bill.”
James said, “True, and anyway, back to the story, I told you about how he was naked—”
Zoe and Isla giggled and whispered, “Naked!”
Archie screwed up his face. “I didn’t hear that story!”
Zach leaned forward, “To begin at the beginning, we met Ben Franklin.”
Archie and Ben reverently said, “Cool.”
“We had a beer with him. He’s old as the hills, big, he called himself portly, he got carried into the bar, and then just drank and told stories. It was amazing.”
Hayley said, “I bet it was, that’s crazy.”
They nodded. James said, “Hell yeah, and he told us he would sit in front of open windows taking in the morning air.”
James and Quentin laughed, reliving it.
Zach said, “Keep in mind, boys, he was very portly.”
James raised a fist. “Clothing be damned!”
The boys thought that was hilarious.
Zach said, “We were at the next table over, we heard him tell stories. He would raise his tankard and just start talking, the whole pub would hush and listen.”
Hayley said, “Hey, wait a second, is that what you call having a beer with Ben? You were at the next table over!”
James got up and paced it off. “I was only like this far away from Ben mo-fo Franklin, I was having a beer with him, it can’t be disputed, and then guess what?”
Quentin said, “A bunch of other men came to join him.”
“We had to move over, but we didn’t mind.
I swear to God, Hayley, it was freaking Thomas Jefferson, sitting down right there!
” He pointed at a space about ten feet away.
“Now everyone gets a beer, then Franklin launches into a story. He’s holding court, his gouty foot propped up, and some delegate—”
Zach said, “That was Adams, John Adams.”
James said, “He was complaining about catching a chill from the drafty room. Ben leaned in and said, ‘Gentlemen, I discovered how to keep from getting a snirl!’ That, boys and girls, according to Franklin, is a head cold.”
Fraoch said, “Aye, everyone kens.”
James continued, “Franklin launches into this whole theory: nobody ever caught cold from fresh air, he said. It’s the bad air inside, the ‘miasma’ from closed rooms and sweaty bodies, that does it.
Adams gets irritated, he says, ‘Are you going to tell this story again?’ But Franklin ignores him, just leans back and starts telling it. ”
Fraoch raised his brow. “Sounds like someone I ken. Right Og Maggy?”
Magnus chuckled. “Ye meanin’ me, Fraoch?”
Fraoch said, “I would never insult ye, just want tae remind ye tae keep the stories shorter or ye will get a reputation.”
Magnus chuckled. “A reputation as a good storyteller, perhaps. One where young and old gather round the tavern tae listen tae m’stories.
Ye ken, Fraoch, then I will get m’image upon the bill…
oh wait!” He reached in his pocket and pulled out some coins.
He sifted through them in his palm and held out a gold coin about the size of a quarter and placed it in front of Fraoch.
“My image is already upon a coin because my stories are so grand.”
The boys giggled.
Fraoch grunted. “Tis not for yer stories, tis because ye are a king.”
Magnus grinned. “Let us agree tae disagree and hear more of the gentleman Franklin’s tale.”
James said, “Actually listening to you to bicker is a little like Franklin and Adams.”
Fraoch said, “Yer point is made, Master Cook.”
James continued, “Franklin told us that he and Adams were on a trip and sharing a tiny inn room.”
Magnus and Fraoch nodded in agreement.
“And Adams shuts the window at night because he’s afraid of the evening air.
But Franklin throws it open. Adams complains, but Franklin insists, he says, ‘The air in our chamber is worse than without! Open it, ye bothersome man, or we’ll suffocate in our own fumes!
’ Adams shivered through the night, but Franklin wouldn’t hear a complaint, he lectured about respiration, perspiration, and how nature’s breeze is the best medicine.
Adams said that he fell asleep at the beginning of the lecture and woke up in the morning and Franklin was still going. ”
Quentin added, “Franklin said it wasn’t the first night he spent talking to the wall, that if you can’t sleep you can just start talking and sleep soon comes.”
Zach pretended to talk like Ben Franklin, “You awaken refreshed with a strong constitution. Even if you spoke all the night through!”
Lochinvar said, “He is right about the snirl, tis far more likely tae get it from breathin’ in yer bunkmate’s flatulence than a cold breeze from the highland moors.”
Magnus said, “Franklin needs guard duties, ye ken, if he has trouble sleeping he could go tae the walls and stare up at the skies, if ye can talk tae the breeze, twill tire ye out.”
Fraoch raised his glass. “Ye are right, Og Maggy, the night breeze on the high walls is good for yer constitution.”
James chuckled. “To Franklin and his strong constitution! He was ahead of his time and completely nuts.”
All of us raised our glasses. “Hear hear!”
Archie said, “Da, could Franklin do guard duty naked if he wanted? Sounds like he loves being naked.”
Magnus shrugged. “Nae one would mind much, Archibald. The other guards would likely move tae the other end of the walls.”
We ate for a moment then James cleaned off his hands with his napkin. “The next day we went back to watch the assembly.”
Emma said, “You really stood outside the windows and listened in?”
Zach kissed her on the cheek. “Yep, the birth of our country, right there. I watched it!”
Ben said, “Daddy did you name me after Ben Franklin?”
Zach said, “Not really, but kinda — it’s a good name.”
James said, “We heard so many stories.”
Zach said, “Basically we just acted casual and eavesdropped.”
Emma laughed, “It’s hard to imagine that you were able to blend in.”
“I was not the gangliest one there. A lot of Ichabod Crane-looking fellas.”
James said, “These guys would go to the Hall until early afternoon, then head to the taverns to eat and drink until all hours. One night, after a big meal, kind of drunk, one of the guys said, ‘Hey, would you like to see the whole city?’”
Zach said, “I said, ‘Hell yeah.’”