22. I’ll be fine
22
I’LL BE FINE
HALLE
“Tell us everything!” Tessa squeals as she drops down next to me, sweeping her long strawberry hair into a low ponytail and taming it against the warm summer breeze.
Madi walks up to us, sinking down on my other side with three glasses of wine balanced in her hands. We take one each, and I waste no time, taking a long pull, hoping the wine will calm the fluttering nerves inside me.
Asher had warned me that the girls would pounce at the first chance they’d have, wanting to know all the dirty details. He even smirked and wished me good luck with a wink as we pulled back into Hunter’s driveway. Uncertainty ran through me, and like every other moment, Asher saw my spiral begin before I felt it. He was quick to reassure me, saying whatever I wanted to share was entirely up to me.
For the first time in my life, I feel like I have friends who genuinely care about me. I’ve never experienced this kind of friendship with girls before, where I actually want to tell them everything, right down to the details that make my skin tingle and my body burn .
“Ah… what do you want to know?” I ask hesitantly, glancing between them.
“Everything, girl,” Madi says with a sly smile, keeping her voice low for only us to hear. “We want to know how things went with your brother and we want to know what’s happening with you and that fine, broody asshole over there that can’t keep his eyes off you.”
Avoiding his gaze, I shift, crossing my legs and taking a smaller sip of wine this time, still trying to take the edge off my growing nerves. I can feel the weight of his attention on me. The pull inside of me, undeniable, screaming at me to stand and walk over to him, to wrap myself in the safety of his arms. But this feels so new, and I don’t know if that would be too much. My fingers tap against my glass as the butterflies begin to take flight, sensing his presence near.
“Hunter and I…” I start, but my eyes betray me glancing toward him.
Asher catches my gaze and winks, his tongue darting out to spin his lip ring. It’s a silent gesture of encouragement, one that only I can read. He knows that I’m sitting here, unsure how to do this, and with that one knowing look, he calms me.
“We worked things out. I’m not sure how much you know about his life before he came here or about my life,” I say softly, looking at the girls and finding their attention solely locked on me.
Tessa reaches over, grabbing my hand while Madi wraps an arm around my back, resting her head on my shoulder. Their love, patience, and unconditional support surround me and encourage me to keep going.
“We don’t know a lot,” Madi says gently. “Just that when Hunter moved here, he had plans to get you here, too, and what your mom did. ”
“But as for the details, what happened in the midst of it all, why you didn’t move here sooner, or how life was for you after Hunter left, we don’t know anything, Halle,” Tessa adds, her eyes full of questions, ones she won’t ask out of respect.
Taking a deep breath, I let go and open myself up to these girls, who have become my family in every way that matters now. I hold on to their acceptance tightly as I begin to share the pieces of my shattered heart.
“Ray, our stepdad, he isn’t a good person. He was controlling, lazy, and mean. I’m not sure exactly what he did to Hunter—that’s something he hasn’t shared with me—but I now know he was protecting me from him.” I pause, taking a sip of wine to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts.
Tessa tightens her grip around my hand, silently offering me her strength to keep going.
“When Hunter left, I was alone, and I had to learn, fast, how to look after myself. Ray would tear me down with his mean words, day after day, night after night, until I believed him. It was a way to keep me in line.” My voice trembles with the memories. “I’m worthless. A waste of space. No one will ever love me because my legs looked like hail damage. A burden. No good for anything but to clean and cook.” My voice cracks, but I push through. “And year after year, I grew to hate my brother for leaving me all alone.”
“Everything I did was controlled—what I wore out of the house, where I went. Things got worse after my Mom left, but I had nowhere else to go. I hated the town I lived in, but it was all I knew until the day I found a letter from Hunter.”
My chest tightens, and my palms grow clammy as the minutes pass us by. Birds chirp above us when the lights turn on, casting a glow across the yard as the sun starts to set .
“We’re here for you, Halle. Take your time,” Madi whispers to me.
“Turns out, all those years where I thought Hunter had abandoned me, he hadn’t. Ray kept him away. All the letters he sent me, I never saw, and the phone calls he made, I never knew about. How messed up is that?”
“Oh Halle…” Tessa murmurs as she wipes under her eyes. “We had no idea.”
“That’s fucked up,” Madi cuts in. “I want to kill him.”
Tessa and I chuckle at her sudden outburst, making her grin at us with determination in her eyes. It’s a little scary, but the protectiveness she radiates reminds me of Hunter, and I’ll gladly soak it in.
“Anyways, that’s my story. Hunter and I talked, and we are moving forward now.”
Madi bumps my shoulder with a grin. “Right, well then… tell us about Asher now.”
Tessa waggles her brows at me, her smile mischievous as ever. I groan, burying my face in my hands, shaking my head. They’re not going to leave me alone until I spill everything.
“Aww, Tess, look at her. She’s turning red,” Madi teases
“ Fine! I like him, okay!?” I blurt out, feeling the heat in my cheeks intensify.
The girls squeal, kicking their feet in excitement. Their energy is hard to ignore, and a wide smile takes over my face. From across the yard, Ace notices the commotion and bounds over to us, jumping straight into my lap. A lightness seeps into my chest, washing away all the nerves I had. I tip my head back, laughing as I squish Ace to me, patting behind his ear.
“Did you guys hook up?” Tessa asks, leaning in eagerly.
“Define hook up. ”
“Oh my god. They so did!” Madi yells triumphantly as she points at me.
“Shh,” I hiss at her, smacking her hand down. “We’ve fooled around. I really like him, and he’s told me I’m his.”
“What?” I ask when I notice the girls staring at me wide-eyed.
Ace shifts to the grass, stretching out and resting his head on my legs. I finish the rest of my wine in one long sip, waiting for the girls to snap out of their stunned silence.
“Halle,” Madi says in awe. “He said you’re his ?”
Heat rises in my cheeks once again. “Yeah, he did,” I say cautiously.
“What she means to say is, we’ve never seen a day where Asher has called a girl his. Not even with Piper, and she hung around like a bad smell. None of us could get rid of her, but he never called her his,” Tessa says.
“This is huge, Halle!” Madi gasps. “Oh my god, I am so freaking happy for you two.”
My nose scrunches, a sinking feeling twisting in my stomach. Who the hell is Piper? Was I right? Does he have a line of girls waiting for him, ready for their turn? Once he has me, will he toss me out and move on to the next? The weight of those thoughts presses down on my chest, and I go to stand, the urge to get away from this all so strong.
Tessa’s hand lands on my leg, stopping me from getting up. “What happened inside your pretty little head just then?” she asks with concern.
Twisting my fingers together, I glance at the girls, feeling a little embarrassed when I ask, “Who’s Piper?”
“A hoe, that’s who,” Madi says bluntly.
“One would say, she’s the town…” Tessa’s voice trails off, hesitating on her next words.
“Slut,” Madi finishes for her .
I wasn’t expecting that, and as I sit here, stunned, trying to process that answer, music starts filtering through the speakers. The girls finish their wines and place the glasses down on the grass before standing.
“Don’t worry,” Tessa says, her voice reassuring. “She’s not been around in months. Not since she went crazy, wouldn’t leave Asher alone, and lied about being pregnant. It was a whole thing. Asher proved she was lying to get him to stick around, and after that, he kept his distance. Honestly, girl, he hasn’t been with anyone since, and now you’re here, and he’s claiming you. This is big but in the best way.”
Her words sink in, and I relax, trusting them. I have no reason not to. A slow smile tugs at my lips, the tension disappearing. I hope I never have to meet Piper. The thought of running into her sends a spark of possessiveness through me.
He’s mine.
“Okay, okay!” I yell, laughing as Tessa and Madi finally pull me to my feet.
For the last thirty minutes, they’ve been trying to get me to dance with them, and I’m finally caving, realizing they won’t take no for an answer.
The sky has darkened, and the music is louder, pounding in my ears. The steady beat pulls us away from our heavy conversation moments ago. The energy is intoxicating as I grab their hands, and we spin in a fast circle, the smile on my face impossible to stop. Ace barks excitedly in the middle, jumping in circles like he’s a part of our dance, and a burst of laughter leaves us all.
Feeling his eyes on me, I glance over and catch Asher staring at me in the doorway. The intensity of his attention makes me blush instantly. His smirk sends a jolt straight to my core, and when he follows it up with a wink, I completely melt as I watch him disappear inside. Taking note of how good his ass looks in those jeans.
“I think she’s drooling,” Tessa teases.
“Oh yeah,” Madi says, full of amusement, her finger dabbing the corner of my mouth. “That’s definitely some drool there.”
Her touch snaps me back to reality, and they both burst into giggles as I smack her hand away, glaring at them while my blush deepens.
We settle back down on the grass, a slight breeze cooling my hot skin from all the dancing. Tessa starts filling us in on her day at Sunlit Espresso. Apparently, the local coffee shop here is a prime location for all the town gossip, making Tessa more in the know than anyone else here. I snicker at her animated hands as she tells us about the latest drama between an old couple who show up there every morning at seven a.m.
Just as she goes to launch into another story, all three of our phones ping at the same time. Exchanging confused looks, we reach for our phones. Madi pulls hers from her bra, which makes me laugh, raising a brow at her.
“What, where else am I supposed to put it when I’m wearing a dress?” she says unfazed.
Glancing down at my screen, I find a new text in our group chat.
WHISKEY CREW
Connor: Please don’t hate me but someone overheard me in town and… well everyone’s here now to party.
Tessa groans beside me as I reread the text once more. Everyone’s here. More people. People I don’t know. I look up at the girls with my heart pounding in my chest, hoping to find that this is just one big joke, but they’re already looking across the yard, and that’s when the noise breaks through the bubble we created. A group of strangers sit around playing cards as they drink at the table. The backdoors are wide open with more people spilling outside, their loud voices competing with the music. My gaze darts back to the girls who exchange a wary glance when our phones ping again.
Connor: I can see you girls are about to lose your minds but I’d just like to remind you that this could have been controlled if Halle let me put on a proper party
“Oh, he did not,” Tessa gasps with disbelief.
“What a fucking idiot,” Madi snaps.
My brows furrow, and I grit my teeth, standing abruptly when another text comes in. I said yes to tonight, knowing it would be just us. I’ve only just started to feel a part of this family, to feel comfortable with these guys.
Connor: SHIT. SORRY, I’M SORRY I didn’t mean that, please don’t be mad
“Halle, are you okay?” Tessa asks, full of concern.
I force a smile through my building anxiety. “I’ll be fine. Enjoy the party. I’ll come find you guys later.”
I don’t give them a chance to talk me out of escaping. I beeline for the doors. They should enjoy the party. I know Hunter hasn’t thrown one since the night I arrived, and they deserve to hang out with all their friends. But me? I’m just not there yet.
Connor’s words sting more than I care to admit. Out of everyone here, he was the first to truly welcome me in, always being kind and understanding to me. Or so I thought. Does a party mean that much to him?
Feeling unease creep through me, I push through the crowd, trying to get to my room. The sickly-sweet scented perfumes fused with whiskey and beer fill the air, overwhelming me as I bump into people moving forward. My ears ring with the noise that’s growing louder, and my hands begin to tremble, the familiar grip of anxiety squeezing tighter.
I slam my door closed just as I hear Connor shout, “Halle, I’m sorry!”
I know he won’t come barging in here. He’ll wait, give me time to calm down. I’ll go out and talk to him when I’m ready, but right now, I need space.
Leaning against the door, I press my palms to my flushed cheeks, forcing myself to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. Calm, calm down , I tell myself, trying to steady the rhythm of my heartbeat. White dots flicker at the edges of my vision, and a cold numbness begins to move down my arms to my trembling hands. I shake them out and stumble across to my bed, taking in my sketchpad and charcoals I left sprawled out this morning. I grab the little orange bottle I’ve hidden in the nightstand and pop the cap, tipping two pills into my palm.
I need… I need the quiet, the stillness.
You ruined the night.
No one cares about you .
Why are you even here?
The whispers start, snaking their way into my mind. I stare down at the pills, but all I see are shades of green, like the forest trees with specks of gold.
Asher’s eyes.
A shuddering breath escapes me, and a single tear slips down my cheek. Exhaustion creeps its way in, and a heavy sense of regret sinks into me. With fumbling fingers, I tip the pills back into the bottle, closing the cap and placing it down on the nightstand.
I don’t need them anymore. I can do this on my own.
I crawl to the middle of my bed and sit cross-legged, reaching for my sketch pad and tracing my finger over the page. The lingering scent of paper and charcoal hangs in the air, and I inhale deeply, allowing the familiar scent to comfort me in the chaos of the storm.
A soft knock breaks through the quiet of my room, and my heart begins to race once again, but this time for a whole other reason because I know who’s behind the door before he even speaks.