22. Summer 19
Rushing to step out of the shower, I nearly slip. I can’t be bothered with the time it takes to towel off as I drip down the hallway. I grab my phone from my nightstand. Still wrapped in a towel, water droplets slithering down my arms and back, I type out my message.
Me
Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!
While I wait, I slip on my daily summer wardrobe, which, in a nutshell, is shorts and a tank top.
Andrew
What? What? What?
I have an idea
And what is that?
It’s a surprise. Come over in 15 mins. I’m driving
Ooooh a surprise for me? Do I get any hints?
Just that I’m holding us both to living our lives to the fullest
Dani knocks on my door as I pull out my makeup bag to begin applying my usual coat of mascara.
“Come in!” I cheer.
“Someone is in a good mood,” she remarks. “Oh, and is that a new tank top I see? Who are you trying to impress?”
I glower at her. “Yeah, it’s new. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering what you were up to. I swore I just saw you run down the hallway in your towel.”
I snort. “That’s because I did. I’m taking Andrew to the water tower.”
“Really? The big ugly yellow one right by here?” She scrunches her nose and narrows her brows. “Why? Is that your idea of a romantic date, hanging out around the water tower?” She not-so-subtly tries to choke back a laugh.
“This isn’t exactly a date. It’s just us creating memories and life experiences. We’re not going to just hang out around it. We’re going to climb it. I’ve always wondered what the view from the top looks like.”
She blinks. “Since when were you adventurous?”
“Hey! I’m adventurous.”
“You must really be into Andrew. I’m guessing this is something he’s always wanted to do?”
I shrug. “No. It’s something I’ve always been too scared to do, and I think Andrew will be the perfect person to support me while I do it.”
“Okay then,” she says, her words dripping in doubt.
“Don’t talk me out of this. Rebecca asked me to do it a few summers ago, and I said no. That’s one more experience I could’ve had with her, but I was too afraid. I’m trying not to be afraid anymore.”
Realization crosses her face, and she just nods, looking down at her feet. “I think it could be fun. Send me a picture from the top, will you?”
I give her a soft smile. “The view is going to be amazing. I know it.”
I finish getting ready and give Dani a quick hug as I hear the doorbell. “Andrew’s here.”
“Good luck! You better hope this doesn’t scare him off. You guys only went on your first date five days ago. It’s not too late for him to change his mind.”
“Shut up before I change my mind about you!” I yell back.
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know!” I chuckle as I close the door behind me.
Before I can even turn around fully, I’m swept up into Andrew’s arms, and the excitement I had when I first got out of the shower is instantly back. Something about being around Andrew just makes me want to do all kinds of crazy things. This boy could probably get me to jump out of a moving train with him if he set his mind to it, but I’ll settle for climbing a water tower today.
Setting me down, he asks, “So where are we going?”
“I was thinking we could take a little drive to the ugly duckling,” I say, using our given nickname for the hideous yellow water tower.
“For what?”
“To climb it. Duh.”
He arches a brow. “That doesn’t sound like something you’d be into.”
“Well, today I’m not letting my fears hold me back.”
“I like this new side of you.”
I purse my lips. “Don’t get used to it. I can already feel the panic welling up inside of me with each step I take toward getting there.”
He swirls me in his arms. “Don’t panic! I’ll be right by your side the whole time. This will be fun!”
As he releases me from his embrace, I find my keys, twirling them in my hands, stalling. “Maybe we can do it tomorrow instead. The clouds might ruin the view.”
Andrew glances at the clear blue sky above us and laughs. “It’s too late, Em! You’ve already convinced me to go.”
Standing at the base of the water tower, I’m beginning to realize just how crazy this idea was. I understand now why I had avoided this experience in the past. This is nuts. It must be at least a few stories high. I know the second I get on that ladder, the ground is going to feel a million miles away.
Andrew nonchalantly asks, “Do you want to go first, or do you want me to?”
“Uhhh.” Sweat beads on my forehead.
“Do you want to see how easy it is for me to do it, or do you want me to go after you for support?”
“If you go first, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance I don’t follow you. I recommend you go behind me.” I grab one rung of the ladder and turn back to him. “My life is in your hands now, Andrew. If I fall, you have to catch me.”
“I didn’t realize we brought Rebecca along,” he teases, his smile quickly fading to a somber frown.
“We always bring her where we go.”
He nods, his lips pursed. Then he kisses me on the cheek. “You’ve got this, Em. This is for Rebecca, right?”
His last sentence gets me moving up the ladder quicker than a spider monkey. Okay, not really. Slow and steady did win the race after all, but at least I’m moving now.
As promised, Andrew carefully follows behind me. When we reach the halfway point, I do what every rookie does. I begin to look down. With that one look, the world immediately plummets another fifty feet lower. I suck in a breath and stop moving, paralyzed. There’s nothing for me to do. I can’t just give up now. I’m halfway. It’s not like I can just go back down easily. Andrew is in the way, and I’ve already come this far, but the prospect of going up any further makes me feel like I’ve inhaled thumbtacks.
My breath quickens, and my heart pounds furiously in my chest as if it’s trying to escape the prison of my rib cage. I meet Andrew’s gaze, pure panic in my eyes, but his own reflect nothing but peace. “We’re almost there. Just one more rung at a time. Think of the view from the top. Think of the thrill when you get to tell everyone what you did today.”
I nod, still frozen. He releases his grip on one of the rungs, reaching up toward me.
“Andrew, what’re you doing? No! Are you crazy?” I argue.
But when his hand meets my waist, I can feel the panic ease a little. The prickling in my lungs is gone, and my throat opens up enough to allow a sliver of air in.
“Another step, Em. For Rebecca.”
I slowly pull one hand from the safety of the ladder and then grab the next rung. My opposite foot follows, shakily, and when it touches the ladder again, the clanging sound makes me freeze again.
“No, keep going. Your steps are making music.”
“What?” I ask, hardly able to hear his words right now over the rapid pounding of my pulse in my ears.
“Take another step. The sound is like music.”
His words fill me with enough curiosity to allow me to make another movement. I hear the chime of the metal again.
“That’s my girl!” Andrew cheers. Then he proceeds to sing the lyrics to “My Girl.”
Laughter bubbles up unexpectedly inside of me, but my fear still keeps me plastered to the same spot. Andrew continues singing, pausing briefly between verses to insist, “Sing with me, Em!”
“I can’t believe you’re singing at a time like this!”
“Well, we can’t exactly skip rocks from here, now can we?” he challenges.
I press my lips together in defeat. He’s not wrong.
“Come on. You know the words.” He picks up exactly where he left off, this time singing louder. “I want the birds to hear us and be jealous!”
Again, the smallest hint of laughter slips from my lips. Seeing the traces of a smile on my face, he begins singing even more ridiculously, adding animations with his one free hand, and projecting his voice out into the trees. When he runs out of lyrics to sing, he begins creating his own to the same tune. “Emma! Emma! She’s going to crush the ugly duckling!”
He gives my butt a light encouraging tap. “Come on, Em! We have to finish what we started. Take one more deep breath and then take another step.”
Silently, I follow his orders. I fill my lungs with as much oxygen as they will hold, allowing it to sit for a couple of seconds before I finally exhale.
“There you go. Now just one movement at a time.”
I move my right hand again, then my left foot.
“Don’t forget to breathe!” Andrew reminds me as he follows closely.
When we reach the top, all the tension and tight squeezing feelings release. I feel like a sponge that’s finally allowed to soak up water again.
“Andrew! We did it! Thank God!” I’ve never smiled so big as I drag myself off the ladder onto the tiny ledge surrounding the water tank at the top.
“I told you you could do it.” He holds up an imaginary mic. “I’m here with Emma O’Dougherty, the first girl to ever climb the ugly duckling. Emma, tell me, how does it feel?”
“It feels pretty freaking great!” I beam, taking in the view around us. The lake shimmers like it”s laced with a million diamonds as the sun reflects off the water. The evergreen trees have never looked so full and vibrant… or small.
“We sure are high up, and this ledge is pretty narrow,” I note as my smile turns into a grimace.
Andrew doesn’t miss a beat, wrapping his arms around me. “I guess that just means I’ll have to stay extra close to you since there isn’t much room up here and all.”
I kiss his forehead, which is currently pressed right up against my cheek as he smushes himself into me the best he can. The kiss draws his attention up to me, and he straightens up, eagerly reaching to meet my lips. When our mouths touch, I immediately recognize how much trouble I’m in. I’ve been so far gone for this boy for much longer than just the last several days since we went on a date. With his charm, those eyes, and that dimpled smile, he’s impossible to resist, but then you throw in the way he cares for me and patiently helps me do things I’d never do on my own. There’s no way I would’ve come up here alone today. If I had started this journey with anyone else, the fire department would’ve had to come and get me down from the ladder, but instead, Andrew managed to not only get me the rest of the way up the ladder, but he had me laughing a little while I did it. Andrew is amazing, and he can get me to do just about anything. That’s terrifying.
Ignoring that profound moment of vulnerability, I whip out my phone. “I promised Dani a picture.”
Andrew snags my phone from my hand and holds it out in front of him. “Smile.”
He hands it back, and I take in the photo of the two of us with the whispering pines and the sparkling lake as our backdrop. It’s amazing.
I send it to Dani.
Me
The view from the top
Dani
No freaking way! You did it! I’m so proud!
You sound surprised
I had my doubts
Well I wasn’t even scared
I’m sure Andrew will confirm that ;)
He will
Only because he’s your bf and he has to
It’s beautiful up there. I hope you’re taking a moment to enjoy the beauty
I put my phone back in my pocket and allow myself to treasure the moment. I’m with Andrew, and I just climbed a freaking water tower. If you told me a year ago that I’d be here, I would’ve laughed hysterically. But here I am.
“I bet you’ve never had a date like this.”
Andrew shakes his head. “The only other person I’ve been on a date with before you is Angie. I can assure you we never went on any dates like this.”
“Did she ever take her nose out of her phone long enough to enjoy dates with you?” I ask, wincing as I process the amount of cringey jealousy I managed to pack into that question.
“You didn’t like her much, did you? Were you jealous?”
“What? No!”
Andrew looks like he just heard the juiciest gossip. “Now this is refreshing to see.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve seen my jealous side, so it’s nice to know you have one too,” he says, sidling up to me.
“When have I seen you jealous?”
“Last summer.”
“I did?”
“Yeah, when Brendan came and hung out with us that night. He was looking at you like you were some kind of dessert.”
I scoff. “No, he wasn’t. Besides, he wouldn’t do that to you. You’re his best friend. Wouldn’t that be breaking some kind of bro code?”
He presses his lips together before responding. “Well, he didn’t exactly know how I felt about you.”
“Why not? I thought he was your best friend?”
“He is.”
“Why would you keep that from him?” I press.
“It just didn’t feel important to tell him.”
As the silence settles over us like a damp blanket, he quickly amends, “I mean you’re of course very important to me. You always have been. It’s just that I’m not the greatest at telling people how I feel all the time. I cut a lot of people out last year when I was grieving Rebecca’s loss because it was easier than talking about it. It’s not about you, Em. I promise. This is a me thing.”
I nod thoughtfully. “I guess that’s something you’ll need to work on.”
He smirks. “Yeah, I guess so.” He presses a kiss to my lips, assuring me in the best way he knows how.
“So, how the heck do we get down from here?”
“I’d recommend the ladder.”
“Smart-ass.”
He chuckles. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”