30. Summer 19
“Tell me how your night went,” Dani says with a smirk before raising her camera to her eye.
I watch her carefully set up her subject, a shaded tree stump across the street from our house, and wait for the shutter of the camera before I respond. I know better than to interrupt her process. Dani is an amazing photographer, but she’s very particular about how she takes each photo. I have no clue what she sees in a tree stump, but I know when I see the final photo, with all of the right edits and angles, I’m going to feel some sort of connection to that inanimate object.
Her camera flickers, and I respond. “There’s not much to tell. He made me breakfast after our run this morning, blueberry pancakes. Normally he makes me scrambled eggs.”
She pulls her camera down and glowers at me. “You’re so full of shit, Emma! Tell me what happened. I know you didn’t go over there and go straight to sleep.”
I blush. Rebecca was always the one who did the talking when it came to our love lives. Rebecca saw everything that was going on in mine, and it was mostly nothing. It feels weird to talk about personal details of my relationship with Andrew, even if that’s what girls always seem to do.
“We didn’t have sex.” Dani’s eyebrows raise a bit. “I’m assuming that’s what you were implying,” I pin her with a questioning look, and she nods to confirm. “We came close, but I just wasn’t ready yet. Andrew is incredible and I really want to share that with him, but I don’t take something like that lightly. I think there’s a part of me that hesitates because I know we only have a couple more weeks together before our relationship will primarily exist over Facetime and texts.”
Dani nods along with me. There’s no judgment in her face, and I feel comforted. For a brief moment, I feel just like I’m talking with Rebecca. She was always a big talker, but at the end of the day, I know she had the same values as me, which was why we got along so well.
“You shouldn’t take it lightly. I’m proud of you for not rushing into things, and I hope Andrew was understanding about it.”
I immediately jump to his defense. “Oh, Andrew was beyond understanding. He didn’t pressure me at all. He told me we would take things one step at a time.” I can’t help the smile spreading across my face.
“You are so in love! I enjoy seeing you like this,” Dani says, bursting with support.
“Thank you. I am, and it’s terrifying. I don’t see Andrew ever hurting me, but the deeper we get into things, the scarier it gets because I realize more and more of me is invested. I already know how much it hurts to lose the people you love,” I trail off. “I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to lose someone who is still here. It’s one thing to not be able to see and talk to Grandpa and Rebecca now, but to love Andrew like this and then have to watch him live his life without getting to be a part of it anymore would be so hard.”
Dani gives me a half-hearted smile. “That’s how love works unfortunately, but you can’t have it without taking the risk, and it’s so worth the risk.”
Again, I find myself wondering how the heck does she know these things? I’ve never known Dani to be in a relationship. As far as I know, she hasn’t even had her first kiss. She’s always been immersed in her studies and her photography. But then again, she did buy that alcohol with her apparent fake ID for Rebecca two summers ago, so there’s probably a whole side to her that I don’t know.
“Is there something I should know? Since when were you the expert on love advice?”
She chuckles lightheartedly, brushing the question aside quickly. “All I’m saying is you took a risk to get Andrew in the first place, and love will continue to be a series of risks. You’ve already learned time is fleeting. Don’t keep waiting to talk with him.”
“You’re right. I’m taking another risk tonight just meeting up with Brendan and Andrew. Andrew still won’t tell me what we are doing.”
Dani’s eyes fill with hope. “Well, I hope they show you a really good time and get you to loosen up. Summer is almost over. Then it’s back to the grind.”
I whip my head around to glare at her. “I have loosened up! Andrew and I went skinny dipping this summer, and I’m about to do a mud run for crying out loud! You know what that kind of thing does to a neat freak? I’m starting to have nightmares about it already!”
The edges of her mouth quirk. “This is what I’m talking about. If you were truly loose, you wouldn’t be freaking out about getting dirty on a mud run that’s several days away.”
I purse my lips, unsure how to argue back.
“Hey, do me a favor and sit on the stump. I’m trying to do more photos with humans. Inanimate objects are great and easy for me to capture, but I think it’d be a good challenge to start trying to do photos with people.”
I arch an eyebrow. “How is it more difficult to take pictures of people than a tree a stump? You literally bring something dead back to life again when you take photos of a tree stump. Humans are already alive.”
She tilts her head. “You’re right, but with humans, there’s movement and emotions, and I have to figure out how to perfectly capture all of that to tell a story. I only get one second before the movement or the emotion is gone.”
She lifts her camera and snaps a photo of me quickly. I frown. “I wasn’t even ready! You’re horrible at taking pictures of people!” I tease.
“See, I told you. I need to work on it.” She winks. Then she holds the camera out for me to see. “I was capturing the understanding on your face. It’s kind of beautiful. Talk to me more about Andrew. Those photos could be great, a girl in love.” There’s a dreamy look in her eye.
I do as she says, and we sit there for at least half an hour while she snaps photos, and I talk about how much I’m in love with Andrew. Can you believe it? I’m in love!
“Emma! It’s been way too long. Andrew literally won’t shut up about you, but he hasn’t exactly wanted to share you, either,” Brendan teases.
I blush, and I watch as Andrew does too. “Oh, shut up!” He turns to me. “He’s such an exaggerator.”
“No, I’m not!” Brendan insists. “Dude, you already have the girl. It’s not even embarrassing to talk about her all the time. If anything, it’ll just make her like you even more.”
I laugh. I forgot how fun Brendan is.
I glance at the building in front of us. It’s literally called Yeehaw’s. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sillier name. “So, what is this? Why are we here?” I interrogate the boys, anxiety practically coming out of my pores.
Andrew turns to Brendan. “Do you want to do the honors?”
“Is this another one of your high school insider secrets or something?”
Brendan laughs. “No! Andrew hasn’t been here before, either, but I go to college half an hour away from here, and all my friends make the drive out here just to come to this place on the weekends.”
I glance at it again. It doesn’t look like anything special. It looks like an old-time saloon, complete with a front porch and wooden slat siding covering the whole front side. There are some windows on the front that are decorated with shutters, and there’s a tin roof keeping the elements out. It sort of looks like a cliché.
“What do you and your college buddies come here for?”
Brendan’s face splits into a huge grin. “Mostly to binge drink and then get thrown off Benji twenty million times.”
“What?” I look to Andrew with unease, hoping he will give me some guidance. This was his idea.
Brendan jumps to his aid. “Don’t worry, Emma! You’re going to love it! They have this drink called the trough that you share with multiple people. It’s pretty cheap and gets the job done fast, which is awesome! I don’t even know what’s in it, but it’s delicious, super easy to slurp down.”
“And who’s Benji?”
“Oh yeah, Benji is the mechanical bull out back. You’ll love him!”
My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I hear his words. I turn to Andrew again. “What are you getting me into? Is this a bar? None of us are twenty-one,” I point out as if that isn’t already common knowledge.
Andrew pulls his ID out of his wallet. “Yes, I am,” he says coolly, handing it to me.
I take a look at his Alaska driver’s license. “You have a fake?”
He nods. “Brendan does too.”
“I don’t,” I state, still confused. What is going on in his brain right now? I know we said we wanted to live, but I didn’t mean break the rules and all our bones!
“Don’t worry about it,” Brendan eases. “It’s super easy to get people in here. The guy probably won’t even ask for your ID. That’s why a lot of college kids come here.”
Again, my eyes are bugging out of my head. “You want me to sneak in?” I give Andrew pleading eyes, silently begging him not to make me do this. He knows me! He should know this isn’t my scene.
“It’s not sneaking in. You’ll walk right through the door,” Brendan shrugs.
“I don’t think I can do this. Can you just take me home?”
Andrew reaches for my arm, gently pulling me away from Brendan for a moment. His face softens. “I’m sorry, Em. I should’ve told you before, but I thought you might chicken out. I just thought this would be something fun we could try, a new experience. I’ve always been too afraid to come here and ride Benji when Brendan’s tried to bring me in the past, but I thought with you by my side, I might be able to overcome my fear today.” He pauses for a moment to inspect my face before jumping in again, “And you don’t have to drink! I already made Brendan promise he wouldn’t pressure you. I won’t be drinking because I’m going to drive us home. All you have to do is come inside and be my cheerleader.” He smiles hopefully.
I toe at the ground, kicking a loose piece of gravel. I pull my lower lip in and drag my teeth over it. “You promise I won’t get in trouble for coming in?”
He immediately turns to Brendan for his expertise, knowing his word is only so meaningful when he hasn’t been here before either.
Brendan nods. “Yeah, the bouncer, Jimmy, is super cool. Honestly, even if you showed him your real ID, he’d still probably let you in. I don’t know how this place is still in business, but it’s great!”
“Okay, let’s do it I guess,” I murmur with little confidence.
Andrew’s face breaks out into a huge grin, and he pulls me in for a kiss. Somehow that little piece of affection fills me with more confidence to walk into this bar and cheer for Andrew while he faces his fears.
“This is great! We will just go right up to the front. Jimmy’s a couple of years ahead of us, but he did track with Andrew and me in high school.” Brendan explains, excitement radiating off him, just like it is for Andrew.
“This is going to be so much fun, Em! I promise you’ll have fun tonight!” Andrew insists, kissing me again, this time just a quick peck, and he grabs my hand to lead us toward the front doors of Yeehaw’s.
At the door, a huge man, standing easily another two to three inches taller than Andrew, guards the door. My stomach does a little flip. I hate getting in trouble, and this guy looks like he means business.
When he sees our faces, his lights up. “Well look what the cat dragged in! Hey guys!” He gives each of the boys that weird universal bro handshake-hug thing and turns to me. “Who’d you bring with you?”
“This is my girlfriend, Emma,” Andrew introduces me with pride.
I give Jimmy a shy smile and reach my hand out to shake his hand. Instead, he goes in for a hug, giving me a surprisingly gentle pat on the back. When we pull apart, I reach in my pocket to grab my ID, but he just ushers us right on in, stamping our hands as we enter. “Have fun you three!” With a glance at the watch on his wrist, he adds, “The band should be coming on within the next half hour.”
Walking inside, I see the place is actually kind of cute. There’s a neon blue sign over a stage at the front that says Yeehaw’s. On both sides of the stage, there are picnic tables and a bar beyond that. Off in the corner, there are pool tables and what looks like a jukebox.
“No way!” I exclaim. “Is that a jukebox? Does it work?” I practically buzz with excitement.
Brendan chuckles. “Yeah, it’s a jukebox. It’s great because it takes credit cards, and the list of songs on there is three million miles long!”
I grab Andrew’s hand and pull him over to the jukebox, eager to scroll through the songs and queue one up.
Brendan was right about the list of songs being extremely long. First, the songs are organized by genre, ranging from pop to classic to country. There’s even a genre called techno, which I quickly avoid.
I select the country genre and continue scrolling, but I’m quickly overwhelmed with all of the choices. “Andrew! I don’t know which song to play. There are too many to pick from.”
He sidles up next to me and begins scrolling. “Oh, here’s a classic,” he says, sliding his card into the machine and hitting the select button.
I look at the machine and see the name “Don’t Rock the Jukebox”by Alan Jackson. I crinkle my nose. “Way to be original.”
“At least I made a decision.” He winks then presses a kiss to my forehead and grabs both of my hands to swing me around to the upbeat melody. Brendan doesn’t miss a beat, whipping out his phone and yelling, “Gross!” as he takes a video of the two of us, a bright smile on his face.
I’m so relieved this evening hasn’t felt weird after the events of last summer. I think it helps that Brendan’s attraction was likely more physical than anything, and his friendship with Andrew is much more important than any girl.
Once the song ends, we head outside to check out the back patio. Since the live music hasn’t started inside yet, it seems like that’s where most of the people are currently gathered. There are string lights overhead, a cornhole in the back corner, a hot dog stand right next to the door, and in the very center of it all, Benji, the giant mechanical bull.
Andrew and I take a moment to absorb the scene while Brendan rushes over to two girls to say hi. I can only assume he knows them from college. They both greet him with excitement. I watch him gesture over to Andrew and me, beaming with pride.
My attention is pulled away from him and toward shouting coming from the direction of Benji the Bull as a short, stocky male clings on to the bull for dear life. A group of five or six people, who I can only assume are his friends, rowdily cheer him on. He actually looks like he knows what he’s doing! Until he doesn’t, and he’s thrown off Benji to the black mats below.
The guy leaps up to standing and gives a masculine cheer as he flexes his biceps and grabs his beer from one of his buddies.
I turn to Andrew with raised eyebrows, trying to hold back my laughter. “You want to do that?”
“Well, I might not do it with such a dramatic appearance,” he defends.
“Alright, I’ll believe you,” I say, turning to look for Brendan. “What happens now?”
Andrew points out Brendan at the bar. “Whatever you want. We can just hang out and play a game of pool first. You can get a drink if you’d like, or you can even go get in line for Benji if you’re feeling ready.”
“Uh-huh.” I pin him with a look, unamused. “I’ll be ready after I see you and Brendan up there.”
“Done!” Andrew says. “I’ll sign us up right now.”
“There’s a sign-up?”
“More or less,” Andrew squints his eyes and shakes his hand from side to side. “Brendan said they have one for when it gets crazy busy, but if there’s no one there, you can just hop right on sometimes.”
I fall into a daze as I watch a girl on Benji now. She’s getting thrown around like a rag doll, but she’s staying on. Good for her. Maybe she can teach me her ways.
Andrew interrupts my thoughts by waving a hand in front of my line of sight. “Earth to Emma. Are you still with me?”
“I need a drink,” I state firmly, heading toward Brendan at the bar.
He looks over at us with a smile. “Hey! Do either of you want a drink? We can just put it on my tab and settle later.”
“Tell me more about those trough drinks,” I respond.
He raises his eyebrows. “Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you! They usually recommend splitting it between two to three people. I think it’s about five shots. It used to be more, but they had to cut it down a year or two ago.”
“What’s in it?”
He squirms and offers, “Tasty alcohol?”
“Is it tequila?”
“Oh God no! I won’t touch that stuff.”
“Great. Want to split it then?”
He turns to Andrew. “Are you not going to join us?”
“No, I have to drive. Plus, it looks like I’ll be keeping an eye on this one,” he explains, patting my shoulder.
“You don’t need to watch me,” I tell him. “And we could always get an Uber home if we need to.”
He nods. “I know, but I’m trying to do what I should’ve done last time I was around when you drank.”
“Andrew, you took great care of me! What are you talking about? Besides, it wasn’t your responsibility.”
“Yes, it was. I may not have been your boyfriend, but I was still your friend, and I knew you’d never drunk before. I should’ve done a better job of paying attention to how much you had so you wouldn’t have had that bad experience.”
“It’s in the past,” I insist.
“You’re right, but this is the present, and I’m going to do things right now.”
I grab his hand to pull him in for a quick peck. “Well thank you, Prince Charming,” I say with a wink.
“Soooo are we splitting the trough or not?” Brendan interjects awkwardly.
All three of us begin laughing as I say, “Yeah, let’s do it.”