Chapter 10
“Thank you so much. You’ve been a wonderful host.”
Kasia smiled her most sincere smile. “It’s been great to have you. We hope to see you again soon.”
She closed the door firmly behind her guests and resisted the urge to slide down and collapse to the floor. Some guests were harder work than others. The Connolly family had been in a completely different league. Their family gathering to celebrate Mrs. Connolly’s seventy-fifth birthday had been much more work than Kasia was expecting. She’d been pleased to let out eight rooms midweek at this time of the year, but the extended family had barely left the hotel. They made it clear they had no interest in exploring the island. They had chosen it based on price as a venue to eat and drink, and catch up with their dispersed family members. Cooking breakfast and a full dinner, preparing a buffet lunch and staffing the small hotel bar until the early hours had brought in plenty of income for the hotel, but it wasn’t a job for one person. Kasia was exhausted to her bones. It hadn’t been helped by having the worst hangover she could remember on the first day.
Her thoughts returned to Tierney. She’d really messed up. That’s what happened when she let control get away from her.
But it was so good. She pushed away the thought. Tierney had turned up the morning after the Connolly family had arrived and shuffled around the kitchen, muttering, until Kasia had told her to leave her in peace. It had felt like she’d kicked a puppy when she caught the look in Tierney’s shining eyes. But she didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with what had gone on between them and manage the demands of the Connollys.
Eventually, she’d sent Joey a desperate text asking them to do a run for supplies. They’d turned up later in the day armed with everything she needed for the rest of the week. The hotel booking form clearly asked for lunch and dinner to be requested in advance, but what was she going to do?
“Thank you. I can never make this up to you.” She’d hugged Joey close. “But I will ensure you’re paid for your time and fuel. Just let me get this over with.” She’d nodded toward the raucous noise from the dining room.
“Are you okay? It seems like a lot.”
Joey’s concern wasn’t what she needed right now. She put on her best poker face and nodded.
“I’m gonna tell Tierney how much you’ve got on. She should come and help.”
She grasped Joey’s arm. “Do not tell Tierney anything. I need some space from her right now.”
Joey squeezed her hand. “I know what happened. It’s okay, Kasia. Tierney won’t make things difficult.”
“She’s sure as hell not doing anything to make them easier. Let me get on with it and I’ll speak with Tierney when this bunch have left.”
Joey shrugged. “Okay. Call me if it gets too much.” A peck on the cheek accompanied the hug this time. “I’m not far away, and I’ll help if you need it.”
“I know. And I love you for that.” That had been her last conversation with anyone not called Connolly for three whole days.
She rubbed her face and pushed herself off the door. She still had eight rooms to strip and laundry to get done. She was glad there were only two guests this coming weekend. So far, anyway. She dropped a quick text to Joey. They’re finally gone. I need a long sleep and then I should clear the air with Tierney. Have you seen her?
She left her phone while she attended to the housekeeping and set the washing machine going. The breakfast dishes could wait until later. She checked her phone on the way upstairs.
Sorry, Tierney left. I didn’t want to bother you. She was so pissed off with Anto and Des, she just wanted to get away.
Kasia groaned. Yes, she’d known about the bad blood between the brothers, but she’d hoped Tierney would be able to give her some answers about the future. Instead, she’d taken off when things got hard, leaving the hotel and Kasia as if they meant nothing. She rubbed her eyes to get rid of the prickle that threatened to turn to tears. Letting loose her emotions wouldn’t help.
Thanks, Joey. Shall we meet up later for food? I can’t cook another meal.
I’ll pick you up from the harbor at seven. Bring your swimsuit. We’ll go back to my house, and I’ll cook.
What would she do without Joey? But this was no life. Without any job security, she was killing herself for nothing.
When all the chores were done, she sat down at her laptop and checked bookings. At the moment, there was nothing after the weekend until the pre-Christmas build up in December.
She slammed shut the laptop and let out a long breath. What was she doing, busting a gut for no one except the ghost of Peggy? She made a decision and reopened her laptop with a purpose.
“Does anyone know yet?”
Kasia looked at Joey and shook her head. “No. I canceled all availability between now and March. There are bookings over Christmas, but I can’t do much about that. I need a break, and there’s no one to ask, so they can all go fuck themselves.”
She took a long slug from her beer bottle. She didn’t often drink beer, but it was Joey’s beverage of choice, and she still couldn’t face vodka.
“What about the Christmas bookings?”
“I’ll be back for them. Unless I get an offer I can’t refuse in the city.” She felt the bitterness in her laugh.
Joey picked at the paper label on their bottle. “This is your home, Kasia. If you leave, you might not come back.”
She looked across the deck to the fire pit where Joey had cooked the freshest fish she’d ever tasted. Beyond, the bright but waning moon glinted across the sea. “I don’t want to leave, Joey. I don’t know how I could say goodbye forever…to you and this little island that makes me feel so rooted.” She took another drink. “But living on Inishderry relies on me having a job. And it needs to be a job that makes sense.”
Joey nodded. “I know. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to keep it going if no one else cares. It’s just so unfair.”
“Life’s unfair sometimes. But where we have control, we should always take it. I’m taking it.”
“So your friend’s hotel has a job for you, if you want it?”
“Yes. It’s not at the level I was at in Dublin before I left, but hour for hour, I’ll definitely be better off.” She studied Joey’s downcast face, lit by the flickering flames. “I’ve not accepted anything yet. I’m just going for a break and to check things out.”
“Yeah, right.” Joey threw the bottle into a crate and stood. “Another one?”
Kasia nodded, pulled the rug tighter around her shoulders, and stared out at the sea. Was she doing the right thing? Leaving the island, Peggy’s legacy, and her best friend felt painful enough. The pace of Dublin would feel very different from her island life. But without security, her life would run out of control. She needed to make some decisions. When Joey returned, she said, “I need to check out my options. Even if I take the job, I’ll only be four hours away. I’ll come for weekends, I promise.”
Joey dropped to the seat. “I want you to be in the place that’s best for you. Won’t stop me missing you, though.” They smiled weakly.
“Tierney didn’t even bother to stay to tell me what they were going to do with the hotel.” That had hurt her more than she cared to admit. “For all I know, I may not even have a job anymore. And I woke up so exhausted this morning, I actually felt ill. But she wouldn’t know that because she’s gone.”
“She was as embarrassed as you were about the…incident.” Joey’s mouth twisted as they tried to repress a grin.
“It’s not funny, Joey. Of all the people.”
“It’s a little funny because it’s not your usual behavior. You’ve always been so discreet.” They picked at the new label. “We slept together once.”
Kasia looked up in disbelief. “Who? You and Tierney? When you were young?”
“Oh, no, I was a few years older than Tierney, so I never thought about her like that. Until a couple of years before you arrived. I was having a hard time trying to talk to my family about my identity, and my mental health wasn’t good. We had a long heart-to-heart, and it all got very emotional. She maybe…overcompensated in trying to support me.” They flicked a ball of paper into the fire. “It was a bad idea. We were sober, so we didn’t even have alcohol to blame. She ran away, and I didn’t see her or even hear from her, apart from the occasional postcard, until this trip.”
Kasia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Tierney had stayed out of Joey’s life for over six years to avoid an awkward conversation. “She’s spectacularly unreliable.”
“It wasn’t her fault, really. She was trying to help and then she thought she’d made things worse, so she took off. As she does. I knew where to find her too, and I guess I kept my distance.” They hunched closer to the fire. “But we’ve talked it through, and she deeply regrets not hanging around when I needed her. I think she’s growing up a little, Kasia. Trying to take more responsibility for her actions.”
Kasia let her laughter ring out, not caring how bitter it sounded. “As evidenced by her latest escape?”
“That’s a little unfair. She said she tried to talk to you, but you were up to your neck with work. I don’t know exactly what Anthony said to her, but I’ve never seen her so upset.”
“He likely took out all his bitterness on her for being overlooked for his share of the hotel.”
“Desmond didn’t even bother to speak to her.”
“I’m guessing she wasn’t at her best that day, either.” Kasia remembered the effort it had taken to greet her high-maintenance party that morning.
Joey chuckled. “I had to take her on the boat. She was so ill she fed the fishes on the way home.”
Poor Tierney. Joey had warned her that evening about being fit for the meeting. But Kasia could hardly judge her after her own behavior that night.
“I should’ve woken her that morning, but I was so mortified.” She rubbed her eyes. “I really do need a break. Get some rest and think things through while I find out about my options.”
“Why don’t you write Tierney an email explaining that you’re taking a break? You’re entitled to time off, and maybe seeing that the hotel can’t be open all the time with just one member of staff will make them act.”
That had been part of Kasia’s thinking too. “Will Kevin be pissed, do you think? If there’s a chance of me keeping my job long term, I don’t want to jeopardize that.” Her bout of bravery was waning, being replaced with doubts about making a move that could mess things up further.
Joey stood and took the empty bottle from her hand. “Kasia, you go above and beyond anything they should expect of you. Take some time off, recharge your batteries, and then think about what you want.” Joey pulled her to her feet. “Come on, a good night’s sleep will do you the world of good, and tomorrow you can write that email.”
She stood on the deck and looked out over the sea for a little longer. Joey was right; she needed some sleep. But did she also need a fresh start? Somewhere new, where she hadn’t slept with her employer’s daughter? She had to see what her choices were and get a taste of life back in the big city. As she followed Joey indoors, she hoped upon hope she wasn’t leaving the island for good.