13. ~Caterina~
13
~Caterina~
I jolted awake to foreign surroundings as light filtered in through the gap in a pair of drawn, silky gold curtains.
Blinking rapidly, I fought to get my bearings as I took in the unknown space.
The walls were decorated with lacquered deep-red wallpaper with abstract paintings of gold foil spaced evenly throughout. There was a heart-shaped mirror above the bed, flashing neon-pink, and the light fixtures were made of black and gold feathers. I even spotted a massive tiger-print rug in front of the bed.
It was… a lot. Wow.
And there, beneath the leopard-print sheets of the luxurious high-end queen-size bed nestled against me as he slept, was Nico.
Shit.
He was pressed right up against me, effectively spooning me, one arm wrapped around my waist possessively.
Possessively? Oh, no.
Last night came back to me in a heady rush.
Shit again.
More like holy shit.
I’d gone there for two reasons last night.
The first had been to clear my head for the upcoming operation. My mind had been in a whirl because of him ever since he’d broken into my apartment that night and been right up in my space, all over me, touching me and consuming me.
The second reason had been to get him out of my system. I’d thought going there with him would have broken through the sexual tension between us, something that had been increasing to such an extent that it had been ridiculously difficult to think straight around him. I couldn’t have that either. Especially with the marriage directive. I needed to be at the top of my game and not controlled by my need for him. Ideally, it should just be business and an alliance between us.
I carefully extricated myself from him, then eased out of bed, wincing as my entire body burned and ached.
I started as I looked down at myself to see dried blood, bruises, and marks all over me.
I’d lost control last night. I’d given him what he’d wanted from me for so long. I’d surrendered to that fucked-up part of myself.
And the disturbing truth was that it had felt amazing.
I’d never felt so free in my life.
Never felt so satiated.
But he’d seen that monster in me.
Julian had, too.
And I knew Nico, especially, wouldn’t let me forget it, or deny it.
He’d want me to embrace it, and he’d want to embrace it too.
Maybe that was what I needed, though.
I mean, the way it had felt last night had been unbelievable.
So honest and open. So completely liberating. So fucking fulfilling in every way.
But what about all the rest?
What about the stakes? The complications? The three families? My cold war with my father? Nico and the boys’ war with Marco?
Could this… thing really have a place in our lives, in the world that we existed in? Or would it only serve to drive us to our downfall?
As I caught sight of the clock and the fact that it was nearly nine in the morning, it was already clear that last night had impacted my business. I was unbelievably and unacceptably late. I started work promptly at 7.a.m. each and every day.
I couldn’t allow it. I couldn’t allow anything to impact what I’d spent years building, and even more years than that dreaming of.
I looked down at myself, finding that I was covered in Nico’s tee. Where were my clothes? Wait, hadn’t he ripped my chemise? I still had my coat, though. That hadn’t been damaged. Had it? Where was it? Where the hell indeed?
As I spun around and scanned the room, I heard the bed shift, and I turned to see Nico now sitting up, rubbing his face.
Shit. He was in a bruised, bloodied, and marked state, just like me. He even had some nasty scratches down his cheeks.
“Rushing off so soon, Caterina?” he rumbled in a sleep-infused voice that was unfortunately so beyond sexy.
“I need to get to work. I’m late.”
“Right, your 7.a.m. starts. Insanity, if you ask me.”
“I’m not asking you.”
I saw him register all the stress—and panic, to be honest—coming off me, and he spoke calmly and so surely, telling me, “It’s all going to be okay.”
“It will once I make it to work. Where the hell even are we?”
“Julian’s penthouse.”
I started. “What?”
“You thought this was my place?” he gestured at the leopard-print sheets. “Not my style. I thought you knew that about me.”
“I wasn’t really thinking about the décor and how that related to you or whoever the shit.” I shoved my hand through my wild hair again. “I don’t… why are we here?”
“Logistically, it was the optimal decision.”
“How?”
“You and I weren’t in the best state after what happened in the viewing room. Julian’s place was the closest. He’s also not being watched in the intense and overbearing way that I am. Or you, for that matter, with your father. Carrying you into your apartment building would have been like firing off a flare gun. So, I had Milo create a distraction while we brought you here. You were conscious at the time, but not lucid enough to do much else other than rest.”
I sighed heavily at his report. I couldn’t believe I’d allowed myself to reach that kind of state. The reason I didn’t drink was so that I avoided ever being in a situation like that, so I was always in my right mind, on alert, and thinking clearly.
When I winced as I shifted my weight, he gestured to the bedside table. “Those will take the edge off.”
I looked to see a couple of pain pills beside a bottle of water, along with a note. And most importantly, my phone.
That was another way in which I’d fucked up, not knowing where my phone was the moment I’d woken up. Being separated from it at all. At least it was locked and protected with several intense layers of security.
I walked to the table, intending to pick it up, when the note caught my eye.
Kitty Cat,
You’ve certainly got claws. Witnessing that last night, the pleasure was all mine. Thank you for one hell of a show. I saw to you afterward, not sure you remember. Either way, you’ll be okay, just might need a little assist to start the day.
Affection and appreciation,
Julian.
“Wow,” I uttered, putting the note back down. “He’s certainly… something.”
Nico chuckled, and the sound rolled through me.
I looked out at him, and he caught my eye, cocking an eyebrow. “What?”
You should do that more often. “Nothing.”
“He performed aftercare last night. On both of us. Your cuts and scrapes have been treated. He even gave you one of what he calls his Healing Hugs.”
“I… okay. Good. I mean, I’ll give him my thanks.”
“I think you allowing him to stuff you full with that dildo is all the thanks he needs.”
My core clenched at his words.
Exactly what I didn’t need right now. I had to get a handle on my day, get to work, fucking focus. I held up my hand. “Can we not?”
He threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. God. His muscles—those biceps, his chiseled abs—rippled with his movements. He was only wearing a pair of black boxers and they really didn’t do much to hide the hard-on beneath. His gorgeous cock that I’d gotten very well acquainted with last night. That I’d devoured and ravaged so completely.
Stop it.
“We’re not doing that, Caterina.”
“Doing what?” I asked, trying to block the lick of desire trying to take me over.
“Pretending it didn’t happen. Sweeping it under the rug.” He had me squealing in surprise in the next second as he ripped me off my feet and carried me back to the bed. He settled me under the covers with him, then wrapped his arms around me, tucking me against him.
As I shifted in his hold, he stroked my hair. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”
“I can’t just… I need to get to work.”
“Caterina,” he growled.
I growled right back.
It had him bursting out with a hearty laugh.
I shifted to face him and he loosened his hold enough so that we were lying side-by-side facing one another. “Stop it,” I said, unable to prevent a grin.
“Stop what?” he asked, amusement dancing in his sapphire eyes.
“Being cute.”
“Cute?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Wow, I’ve never been called that before.”
“Then I guess you haven’t shown this side of yourself before.”
“You’re right, I haven’t. Just to you.”
I took the pointedness of his comment. Sighing, I spoke, “Yeah, just like I showed you that secret part of me last night.”
He stroked my arm up and down in a soft and reassuring way that had a definite soothing effect. I could feel it calming me a little at a time. “I understand that things are different in the harsh light of day. That’s how it always feels for me the following day, after I’ve unleashed my feral side for Marchetti Syndicate business.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’ve shoved it back down afterward?”
“I did, because there was no other outlet for it. Until the next order for that level of brutality came in from the Family.” His hand lifted to my cheek. “But that’s not true anymore. Now that last night happened. Now that there’s you.” His eyes shone with reverence. “I knew it, I knew it three years ago. And finally, I have my confirmation.”
“Nico, I can’t simply—”
“There’s no simply about it. I know.”
“You do? Because bringing it out, engaging with that part of myself on a regular basis… it’s beyond dangerous. I might lose control completely, might lose myself.”
“You won’t.”
“You don’t know that and—”
“I won’t let you.”
I grasped his hand on my cheek and eased it down, but I still held it between us, finding myself not wanting to break contact, not wanting to pull from his warmth this time.
I spent so much time in the cold, cut off from everything and everyone. Even my mom, really. I kept her at a distance. Because of her obvious tie to my father, it was a protective measure. And beyond her, I hadn’t come close to being in a position to allow myself to trust anyone else.
The truth was, I hadn’t really tried.
I’d always thought it had been safer that way.
Not to ever trust.
To always stand at a distance.
To remain cut off and shutdown.
To focus just on business, to move from task to task and deal to deal.
But being around the camaraderie of Nico, Julian, and Emilio, it had shown me something different. That opening up could lead to something positive. The way they supported one another, the way they cared for one another—even when they were arguing—it was striking. Remarkable, really, considering the world they operated in.
That didn’t mean it could apply to me, though.
“I can’t risk it.”
“Caterina—”
“If last night doesn’t just stay as last night, it could threaten everything, complicate things further than they already are.”
“It could also make things better. Easier. Especially when we’re married. It could actually be pleasant.”
I jerked away. “It’s a business deal. An arranged marriage. But you want to make it real, don’t you?”
“I wanted you long before this order came down from on high.”
“Wanting me is one thing. Marriage is another. It’s skipping tons of steps along the way from being attracted to someone, to binding yourself to them in this way.”
“Our world is different. You’re getting caught up in notions of what you think things should be instead of what they are, or what they could be.” He shook his head. “You’re not open at all.”
“Nico—”
“Except for last night.”
I sank back against the pillow. “You can talk yourself into, out of, and through anything, can’t you?”
He smiled out at me. “It’s a well-developed skill.”
“I can see that.”
He sidled closer and started playing with my hair, curling some strands around his finger. “Did you want me?”
“What?”
“You heard me perfectly well.”
“You piqued my interest.”
“That’s all I get?”
“Your ego is too big to handle anything else.”
“Just my ego?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
The bastard had me laughing. These carefree moments of his were few and far between, but every time one of them happened, it seemed like a glimpse into the small sliver of innocence and boyishness remaining in him.
“No, not just your ego,” I admitted. “Actually, definitely not.”
He grinned. “That might be the first compliment you’ve actually given me.”
“I don’t think—”
“Not to worry,” he said, grasping my jaw. “We’ll start with my dick and work up from there.”
“You’re impossible,” I said, jerking out of his grip. “And as if you need compliments with that massive ego of yours.”
“I do. From you , I do.”
Our eyes locked.
There seemed to actually be some… vulnerability from him. Some naked honesty and need that wasn’t just rooted in darkness and sex.
It had me smiling and telling him, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He stared at me then, not saying a word, but a whole lot of intensity from him mounting.
“What’s wrong?”
“I know how you wanted it from me last night and we fed amazingly well off each other, but… did I… are you okay? Julian said you were and you seem—”
“I’m fine.” I lifted a shoulder. “Sore, but that’s all.” I reached out and grimaced as I ran my fingers over a particularly nasty bite mark on his shoulder. “I got off easier than you.”
He closed his fingers over mine and stroked softly. “Stay here today. Work remotely if you really can’t take a single day.”
“Why?”
“For one, you need to rest and recover after last night. With our upcoming operation, you need to be in good physical condition. Plus, you’re not my whore, so I don’t like the idea of you taking off right after we fucked.”
“It’s not right after. It’s the next day.”
“You know what I mean.”
I pulled my hand from his and sat up. “I do know what you mean. What you really mean. You want to prevent me from backsliding into denial when it comes to this thing between us. So you intend to keep me around you, so I don’t have time to think or over-evaluate everything, to regret it, or see the dangers in it.”
“Judging by all of that, you’re already heading down that path as it is. So I already have my work cut out for me.”
“Things are complicated and—”
“This is what you do, Caterina. You run and shut down. And, you know what? There’s always going to be a reason to. With anything. With this especially, because, as you even admitted to me, you’re afraid of losing control over that aspect of yourself.” He straddled me then, his hands coming down on either side of my head on the pillow. “You want true power, you want to ensure you’re never beholden to your father again? This is the way to do that. Partnering with me and mine. Working together. Embracing it, rather than closing yourself off to it. Your father resents your success. Worse, he sees it as a threat. Forcing you into this marriage, a marriage he believes will be hell for you and weaken you, is just the start. He’ll keep coming. He’ll try to break you. And fighting that off will leave you very little time to carry out your expansion plans. In fact, when the Leone Family fully targets somebody, they pull out all the stops, they run right over them. You know that as well as I do. With me and my boys at your side, we can prevent that from happening. We can bolster you. And you can do the same for us with your skills and know-how. Your position as puppet master , as Milo refers to it. You’ve been operating from the sidelines for years, undercutting this and that, moving pieces around the proverbial board. Very carefully. Together, we can do that on a grander scale, while also protecting your business assets and clearing the way for you to carry out your expansion.”
“Expansion?” a voice sounded. “Oops, getting some major déjà vu here.”
Nico grunted, then pushed off me, settling back on the other side of the bed, and enabling me to see Julian walking into the room.
“You can’t fuck her again right now. She’s too sore. I told you that last night,” Julian admonished Nico.
“I wasn’t intending to. We were just talking.”
“Ah, your heavy-handed kind of talking , bringing out the intimidation, got it.” He ignored Nico’s glare and gestured at the little white bag he was carrying, telling me, “I’ve got a special ointment for that soreness in here, along with something to soothe and promote healing of the scratches and marks all over your body.” He came to my side of the bed and put the bag down on the bedside table. “Your unequivocally delectable body, I might add.”
I grabbed the covers and slinked down into the bed, holding them over my face. “Oh God.”
“I also dropped one of those vibrators I used on you last night inside the bag. It packs one hell of a punch and you definitely enjoyed it, so pleasure away, darlin’.”
“J, take it down,” I heard Nico telling him.
He chuckled. “She’s cute when she’s all embarrassed. Although, if you can still hear me under there, Cat, you shouldn’t be. It was a hell of a thing, and I’m honored that you trusted me to be a part of it.”
I clutched the covers more tightly to me.
“Julian, enough.” I heard movement, then felt Nico climbing off the bed. “Get out so she can shower and dress. Did your people get her some clothes like I asked?”
“Yeah, it’s done. They’re already hanging in this room’s ensuite bathroom. All the toiletries you specified too. And the gift.”
“Good. I’m gonna take a shower in your room, let her have some space.”
“Sounds good. I’ll push breakfast back for another twenty minutes.”
“Does that work for you, Caterina?” Nico called to me, rubbing my arm over the covers to get my attention.
“Uh huh,” I murmured.
He chuckled. “Good girl. All right.”
“ Good? Hella dirty and wicked is more like it,” Julian said.
“Get the fuck out,” Nico admonished him, and then I heard a struggle, followed by heavy footsteps, and the door finally closing.
I waited a few moments when I didn’t hear any other sounds, and then I carefully lifted my head above the covers to see that the room was empty. Both of them had gone.
I breathed out a heavy sigh.
Twenty minutes.
I hoped that would be enough time to pull myself together.
And I needed to check in with Hazel and let her know I would be working remotely today. From home—my home—as far as she and everyone else would know.
Nico was right. I did need to take a beat.
And, honestly, I didn’t actually want to leave right now.
That sentiment was almost as worrying as everything else I was up against.
But it was also clear that walking away from it, or shutting down, really wouldn’t do me any favors.
I just had to make damn sure that I treaded carefully.