Chapter 19 #3
She stood, gripping the porch rail as though it were her last anchor to composure.
“You work well with the guys and with him; I’ll give you that.
And this expansion is going to work. He’s going to do it, and I guess I have you to thank for that, in part.
But I have a favor to ask of you. Woman to woman. ”
“What’s that?”
“I need you to leave. Now.”
“What?”
“You said you were leaving in the summer. If you’re going, please go now. Before there’s no chance for me.”
“You’re asking me to leave so you can be with him? Do you think he’s just going to come running back to you?”
“Do you love him?” Her voice was soft, but her question struck like a bolt of lightning.
When I hesitated, she continued, “You do. Of course you do. He’s that guy, one of a kind.
That perfect guy who only exists in fairy tales and on flower farms in beautiful Alabama.
But if you truly love him, you will leave now before you hurt him.
Trust me, I made that mistake. I hurt him, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right. But I can’t do that if you’re here.”
“Are you kidding me? You have some nerve asking me something like that.”
“I know we got off on the wrong foot,” Carly said, her voice trembling with regret. “I could have been nicer to you, been a friend to you. I regret that. I’m sorry about that. We could have been one big happy family.”
“Don’t be like this. If you truly love him, then you would want him to be happy. Whoever that’s with.”
“My family’s farm and Benny—and Jackson—are all I have. Jack is my future. I have nothing without him.”
Her desperation was intense, and it only hardened my resolve. I wouldn’t be swayed by her jealousy and allow it once again to ruin my life. I loved Jackson. And what I felt for him was real. No amount of envy could erase that truth.
And yet, as I looked at her, my heart softened.
In her tear-streaked face, I saw in her a reflection of my own pain, a glimpse of a woman who had been consumed by the same emotions that had once eaten away at Mama, leaving her unrecognizable.
I couldn’t change Carly’s situation, but perhaps I could offer her something she desperately needed—a sliver of understanding.
“There’s someone out there for you.”
“I won’t find another man like Jackson.”
“I love him, Carly,” I said. It felt strange to utter those words to her before Jackson himself had heard them.
The fact that she was the first to know seemed a cruel twist of fate.
“I don’t know what the future holds or how long I’m going to stay.
But that’s a question for me to answer. For Jack and me to answer. ”
Carly’s eyes, brimming with desperate hope, fixed on me again. “Are you going to tell Jack about this?”
“No,” I said without hesitation. “I’m not.”
“Why not?”
“Because it will change the way he sees you forever, and that…you can’t get back.
This expansion means so much to him, and he’s going to need your support.
Your friendship means something to him still.
Just not what you want. Because you don’t mean any of this.
And you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re going to regret this.
But you’ll regret it less if he doesn’t know and it stays between us. ”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because whether you believe it or not, I understand you. You love him, even if you know you two shouldn’t be together.
That love means you would do anything for him.
But love doesn’t mean tearing down the walls of someone else’s world.
This is not the way to show it. Trust me, I know. Go home, Carly.”
The words I had kept locked inside spilled out, filling the quiet space where Mama’s absence had once echoed. Goosebumps rose on my skin as the heaviness in my chest melted away. Tibb was right: I felt lighter, like something that had been suffocating me was finally able to breathe.
I had finally made peace with Mama.
In another world, Mama never became a mother.
I was not born. Lila either. We didn’t exist. She had a whole life before us, before Daddy, her own dreams. In that other world, she pursued becoming a model.
Her beauty didn’t go to waste. She was invited to walk the runways and grace the covers of all the top fashion magazines.
She traveled the world and spoke several languages.
Maybe, in Paris, by chance, in a café, she met and fell in love with a man who became her husband.
A man who could see and appreciate her for the woman she was.
He supported her, never raising his hand to hit her, never banishing her to live in a trailer in the woods with two daughters she wasn’t sure she wanted.
She never had to worry about the what-ifs in life.
Never a survivor—in another world, she lived and was loved.
Carly rose from her seat and walked down the steps.
She stopped for a moment, her eyes drifting over the farm.
With a resolute breath, she continued her descent, her determination evident in the careful placement of each footstep.
What I know now that I didn’t know back then was that a month later, I would find myself at her doorstep.
This time, it would be me who sought a favor.
And Carly would grant it. Because in the end, love is defined not just by what we say but in the acts of sacrifice we offer willingly for those we hold dear.