Chapter 6
Six
Ewan sat almost motionless except for his Adam’s apple, which was slowly moving up and down. He appeared to be struggling to digest what she’d just told him.
For a moment, she wondered if he’d heard her, then he finally managed to speak. ‘A baby?’
‘A little girl,’ she said softly. ‘Her name’s Poppy.’
‘You were … pregnant?’ he asked, still sounding confused.
‘It was a bit of a shock to me too.’ Understatement.
‘And it was … mine?’
His question made her hackles rise slightly. ‘Of course it was yours.’
‘But how do you know for sure?’
‘How do I know?’ She stared at him feeling dumbfounded. ‘Because you were the only guy I’d slept with.’
‘You were a virgin?’ He sounded horrified.
‘Would you keep your voice down?’ she hissed, noticing an older couple at a table nearby had stopped talking and had their heads tilted their way. ‘No, I was not a virgin,’ she snapped, almost whispering. ‘You were the only man I’d slept with in months.’
‘Holy shit,’ he said, slumping back in his chair, staring at her.
‘Look, I’m not telling you this because I want anything from you. I’m only telling you because I have no other choice, now that I know who you are.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means that I couldn’t, in good faith, discover who you are and not tell you that you had a child. I’m not going to live with that kind of guilt for the rest of my life.’
‘Does she know about me, then?’
‘How could she know about you? I didn’t even know about you until the other day.’
‘I mean … does she know she has a father? What have you told her about me?’
‘She knows she has a daddy who doesn’t live here. She hasn’t really asked too many questions yet.’
‘I can’t believe it. It’s a lot to wrap my head around,’ he said after a few moments.
‘Yeah, I remember that feeling.’
He swore lightly, shaking his head. ‘I can’t even imagine how that must have been.’
His compassion threw her slightly. She’d been expecting angry denial, and maybe watching him storm out in a rage. She swallowed hard over a lump of emotion his softening expression had evoked.
Forcing a smile to her lips, she took a deep breath and regained her composure.
‘It all worked out. So, now you know why I didn’t want to keep you and Sasha as clients.
I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. You and Sasha came to me ready to start a new life and get married, and I didn’t want to be the one who messed that all up. ’
‘You could have just not said anything,’ he pointed out.
‘Is that what you wish I’d done?’
He paused, eyeing her silently. ‘In all honesty, my first thought is yes,’ he said, then sighed. ‘But I think that’s the shock talking. I don’t really know what to say.’
‘You need time to process it all. I get it.’ She bent down to pick up her bag.
‘No, stay. Please,’ he said, an edge of desperation to his voice. ‘I didn’t mean to chase you away.’
‘I really do have somewhere else I need to be,’ she said with a wry smile.
‘I’m sorry I’ve dumped all this on you and now have to run.
If you want to talk later, once it’s all sunk in,’ she said, ‘let me know.’ She reached into the front pocket of her bag to withdraw a business card, and wrote her mobile number on before sliding it across the table.
‘I completely understand if you’d rather not.
Like I said, I don’t want or expect anything from you. I just needed to let you know.’
She smiled sadly at the completely sideswiped expression he wore, and really did feel bad about it, but was also glad that her part was over.
She rose from the table, gave him a nod and walked away.
If he wanted to take things any further, though part of her sincerely hoped he wouldn’t, that was up to him.
For Poppy’s sake, she probably should have been hoping he wanted to be part of her life, but there was a part of her—the protective mother in her—that didn’t want him to intrude in their lives. She felt guilty for being selfish.
For a long while, Kenzie sat in her car and stared through the windscreen.
Relief was probably the most notable emotion, but there was also an undeniable dose of apprehension.
What if he tried to take Poppy away from her?
How was Poppy going to cope with getting to know a complete stranger?
What if Sasha didn’t like Poppy and made her life miserable whenever she stayed with them?
That was probably unfair. She didn’t really know Sasha—at least, not well enough to make her into an evil stepmother—but she had seen enough of her to realise she was spoiled and used to getting her own way.
It was none of her business, but she had a feeling things weren’t going to be particularly pleasant for Ewan once he broke the news to her.
She hoped Ewan managed to smooth things over, and her business wouldn’t become a casualty of this whole mess. With a quick glance at the dashboard clock, she shrugged off her troubled thoughts and started the car. She still had a business to run—while she still had a business to run.
Ewan felt as though his entire world had just turned upside down. Which was because his entire world had just turned upside down. He’d walked into this cafe thinking he was pretty much in control of his life, only to now be walking out of it feeling like he was a stranger.
I have a kid.
He’d had a kid for the last four years. It didn’t seem real. Truthfully, he didn’t feel any different, and yet, how was it possible not to? He had a child he hadn’t even known existed until literally ten minutes ago.
His first reaction had been to question if she was even his. It may have sounded like a dick move to Kenzie, but it was a legitimate question—how could he know? They’d been strangers. It’d been a one-night stand. It wasn’t supposed to have meant anything.
Anger soon followed. He hadn’t asked for this sudden responsibility to be dropped on him. He hadn’t been given a say in whether he wanted to be a father. Kenzie had obviously just decided to go ahead and keep her.
She’s been raising her alone without any help from you, a small voice pointed out reasonably, which then made him feel like shit. ‘I never expected to see you again,’ she’d said earlier. She’d got the impression he was backpacking, like the mates that he’d been with that night.
Did that mean she’d hoped he was out of the picture somehow?
What if she’d been planning on falling pregnant and she’d selected him as the father?
He dismissed the idea as soon as it came to him.
She didn’t strike him as the kind of woman who’d do something like that.
She was a businesswoman. What purpose would it serve to deliberately have a baby after the years she’d put in at uni?
Once those thoughts quietened down, he hovered between disbelief and wary acceptance.
It still didn’t seem real that he could possibly be a father.
Well, technically at this stage, he couldn’t really claim to be a father—he’d done nothing more than contribute to the making of said child—but did he want to be a father, now that he knew?
Kenzie had made it clear she didn’t care if he decided not to do anything about it, but could he go through life knowing he had a kid somewhere and hadn’t done anything about getting to know her?
Annoyance flared up briefly once more. If he’d never been told, then he wouldn’t now have to make this kind of decision.
But would he have preferred not to have known?
He wasn’t sure he had the answer for that.
He thought about his family. They’d be disappointed in him as a man if he chose to ignore a child he’d fathered. An image of his mother suddenly came to mind. He could imagine how she’d react if she found out she had a grandchild who she’d never been told about.
He gave a long sigh as he walked to his car and climbed in.
He was already having trouble trying to integrate Sasha into his family.
Well, maybe not his father, who was impressed by her family’s money.
His mother and sister accepted her—she was his future bride—but he knew they had reservations about the match.
He’d met her on a dinner cruise he’d gone on with one of his workmates, and had been completely entranced by her.
Sasha was like no one he’d ever met before; rich, confident and oozing sex appeal.
She’d sauntered up to him and held his gaze with those big, dark eyes and, for reasons he had no idea about, she’d chosen him over all the others who’d been on board that night—even the guy she’d come on the cruise with. He still winced at that. Poor bastard.
Sometimes he thought she’d chosen him because he wasn’t the type of yes-man all her other boyfriends had been. Her father was a wealthy man, and Sasha had been hurt in the past by men who’d pretended to want her, but had actually wanted a way into her father’s vast empire.
The Delsantos made no secret of the fact they were dubious of the match but, unlike his parents, they were more concerned that Ewan didn’t fit into their world.
It hurt, he could admit that, and when Sasha had come to him with an offer from her father to work for him, he’d been more than a little sceptical.
He hadn’t planned on a change of career and knew next to nothing about private equity and acquisitions, but once they were engaged, Leo had pulled him aside and told him in no uncertain terms that if Ewan wanted to marry his daughter, he’d better be willing to step up and be the kind of man who was worthy of being her husband.
He took that to mean he needed to earn an income to keep her in the manner to which she had become accustomed.
That was going to be a problem if he kept his current job as a logistics manager in a transport company, so the decision to accept was pretty much a no-brainer.
He was good at his job, and surprised by how much he liked corporate life.
However, he had concerns about working for a Delsantos’ company.
He knew his colleagues looked down on him because he’d been handed the job without earning it—which had been true—but he’d worked his arse off.
He already had a degree in business and finance, thanks to his father pushing him to study something useful, but he’d undertaken a Masters of Economics as part of his job transition and put in long hours to ensure he deserved his job.
It wasn’t enough. No matter how hard he tried, the others still considered him some kind of gold-digger, even now, two years later.
There were times when he’d considered throwing in the job and finding a new one—anything to distance himself from the rumours and try to earn the respect of his peers.
Sasha had been horrified. ‘You can’t throw Daddy’s offer back in his face like that! You owe him your loyalty. He made you what you are.’
That kind of shit really annoyed him. Yes, her father had given him a start, but Ewan had worked hard.
He didn’t like the future he was beginning to see unfolding before him if he stayed.
He could do this job for another company and feel a lot better about himself.
After the wedding, that’s what he planned on doing.
Lately, he’s caught himself becoming the yes-man he so detested just to keep the peace with his future wife and father-in-law. It didn’t sit well. Sooner or later, something was going to have to give.
He loved Sasha, but he was growing tired of her childish tantrums. They’d spent a lot of time apart over the past two years, between his work and her travelling, and he sometimes wondered if it was more than physical distance.
There was a different side to her when they were alone—generous, honest, playful—but when her father was involved, she morphed into a spoiled little rich girl.
It had recently started spreading into all things wedding-related too.
He’d just decided it was easier if he nodded and went along with whatever she and her mother chose.
He would have preferred a quiet backyard wedding at his parents’ farm.
Sasha had almost had a stroke when he mentioned that, so, elaborate, over-the-top society wedding it was.
Ewan swore loudly in the silence of his car.
How was he going to bring up the fact he had a daughter?
He gave a rueful chuckle. Kenzie had tried to warn him.
Maybe if he hadn’t been so busy trying to keep his bride-to-be happy by bullying their wedding planner, he’d have avoided all this shit.
Kenzie had been trying to quietly disentangle herself to avoid the very thing he now faced.
He drove aimlessly, feeling a need to not be anywhere in particular. He couldn’t go back to the office. They’d probably be looking for him as he hadn’t told anyone he was heading out, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with work right now.
Eventually, he found himself at a beach and parked the car, leaving his phone and getting out to sit on the bonnet. The crash of waves drowned out the endless loop of thoughts, and the salt air helped to calm his inner commotion. And then he really thought hard about what to do next.
When he got back in the car, he reached for his phone, which was on the passenger seat, and saw a number of missed calls, mostly from Sasha. Any minute, there’d be another one. Right on cue, the phone rang and he let out a resigned sigh. ‘Hey, babe—’
‘Where have you been? I called the office, and they said you’ve been out most of the day. Why haven’t you been returning my calls! Did you speak with Kenzie yet? Have you convinced her to reconsider?’
‘Babe. We need to talk.’