Chapter 12
Twelve
After dinner, Kenzie went through the bedtime routine with Poppy and thankfully, due to an extra-long before-dinner play with Jack and Ewan, she was worn out and fell asleep after only a small protest. She went back out to the lounge room and found her mother, Ewan and Jack in easy conversation about travelling.
Taking the only seat available, beside Ewan, she found herself extremely conscious of how close they were sitting. The lounge was spacious, but somehow, Ewan made it feel a lot smaller tonight.
He’d had a shower, judging by the fact he was in different clothes and his short hair was still damp, making it look even darker than usual. She caught the scent of something masculine—clean and crisp—and a little prickle of awareness raised its curious head.
Not a chance in hell, she told it firmly. Look what happened last time.
In retaliation, her mind threw up a few snapshots of a certain man naked in bed, just to make sure she realised exactly what she was saying no to. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
‘Kenzie?’ her mother said, making her head snap up.
‘Sorry?’
‘I was just saying Jack and I are heading to bed.’
‘Oh, okay. Night.’
‘Early start tomorrow,’ Jack said, already standing and waving goodnight.
‘Okay.’ Kenzie nodded, feeling slightly awkward as she realised she and Ewan would be left alone.
She wanted to say she was going to turn in as well, but it was still relatively early and she’d feel bad if it made Ewan feel he also had to go to bed.
‘Did you want a coffee … or a drink? I’m pretty sure Jack’s got port, if you’re into that kind of thing? ’
‘I could do a coffee,’ he said, and she was relieved she had something to keep her hands busy.
They moved out into the kitchen, and Kenzie took down two cups from the cupboard.
‘How did you get into event planning?’ he asked as she worked.
‘I studied it at uni, but I’ve always been pretty organised,’ she said, smiling briefly across at him. ‘It was something that ticked a lot of my boxes and it was something I could eventually do as my own business.’
‘Is that your work?’ he asked, pointing to a shelf of neatly labelled glass canisters.
She gave a small chuckle. ‘Actually, it is. Last Christmas, after searching for things in Mum’s pantry, I decided to give it a makeover.
’ She walked across and moved a stray jar on a lower shelf back up to join the others.
‘I was expecting it to be back to a shemozzle, but they’ve done a good job keeping it all tidy. ’
‘My cupboards would give you a bit of a nervous twitch,’ he said.
She smiled at the rumble of his low chuckle. She liked it. ‘It’s more of a hobby … or symptom of my undiagnosed OCD.’ She laughed. ‘My sister likes to joke about how cleaning and reorganising cupboards are how I relax, and I can’t deny it.’
She handed him his cup and he followed her back out to the lounge room.
‘So, has being a wedding planner turned you off weddings completely, or do you have a file somewhere on your computer where you’ve stashed all the ideas and things you want for your own big day?’
She tilted her head a little as she considered the question.
‘Actually, I do have a secret file,’ she admitted sheepishly.
‘Sometimes, when people write their own vows, certain ones just really stand out and hit you right in the heart,’ she said, then immediately felt stupid. ‘Anyway, I’ve got a file of vows.’
‘That’s pretty cool. You must hear all kinds.’
‘Some of them stay with you for all the wrong reasons too,’ she added, grateful he didn’t laugh at her.
‘And I guess I’ve always loved the idea of a big, beautiful wedding,’ she eventually said, ‘but I think, after seeing some of the over-the-top ones I’ve been asked to put together, I’d prefer something a lot smaller and more intimate.
I’m not sure I’d want to share such a special day with three hundred–plus people, even if I knew three hundred–plus people! ’
‘I agree with you there.’
‘I suspected most of the guests on your list were on the Delsantos’ side.’
‘Most of them were her father’s business acquaintances.’
‘Each to their own. If you’ve got the money and you want to flaunt it, there are plenty of ways the wedding industry will happily help you spend it,’ she said with a shrug.
‘The more distance I get from the situation I was in, the more I feel like I’m waking up from a really bizarre dream,’ he said. ‘It’s hard to have perspective when you’re in the middle of it.’
‘You both seemed happy enough,’ Kenzie said carefully, ‘though I only saw you together the once.’
‘We were,’ he said, sipping his coffee. ‘As long as everything went Sasha’s way.’
‘Yes, she did give that impression,’ Kenzie agreed. ‘But she seemed nice. I mean, I’ve dealt with way worse.’
‘I can only imagine.’ He grinned. ‘She was nice—is nice,’ he corrected.
‘She’s incredibly passionate about the things she loves.
At first, one of those things was me and it’s pretty intoxicating to have someone that full on, devoting all their time and energy to you.
But she was contradictory. If I didn’t live up to her father’s expectations, then life would get pretty uncomfortable, but Sasha didn’t like having a workaholic as a fiancé.
She wanted someone to tote around to her fancy dinner parties and nightclub openings and restaurants.
Whatever I did, it was the wrong thing. To be honest, things were beginning to fray around the edges even before all this happened. ’
‘I still feel partially responsible. Well, more than partially, I guess. If I hadn’t told you, everything wouldn’t have imploded the way it did.’
‘Like I said, things weren’t all roses and sunshine.’ He looked at her seriously. ‘None of this was your fault.’
Kenzie rested her head back against the lounge. ‘It’s been a crazy week.’
‘You can say that again,’ he said, sounding equally weary. ‘But this has been the silver lining.’
She turned her head to look over at him.
‘For all the chaos it caused, I’m glad you told me. I’m just sorry it took five years for me to get the chance to step up.’
His words gave Kenzie slight pause. ‘I meant it earlier. I don’t want you to rush into a decision about all this.
Poppy doesn’t need a casual dad. That would do more harm than good,’ she said, searching his face.
‘If you decide to step up, it has to be permanent. That’s a huge commitment.
She needs your time, not your money on birthdays or the occasional weekend.
Please think hard about it before you decide.
Her heart won’t be broken if she never knows about her father, but it would totally devastate her if she got rejected or discarded when things got too hard. ’
For a moment he didn’t reply, staring at her stone-faced, and she thought maybe she’d made him angry. Eventually, he nodded.
She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I think I’m going to head to bed. Do you need anything?’ she asked, easing upright in her seat.
‘I’m good, thanks. I’m turning in too.’
They put their cups in the kitchen sink before she switched off the lights, wishing him goodnight and leaving him at the guest room at the end of the hallway.
In her room, she stood quietly for a moment by the window that overlooked the back paddock.
Trees were silhouetted against the cloud-covered moonlight.
There was a mystical feel to the whole scene, despite the fact she knew that in daylight, it was just an everyday normal paddock with cattle grazing its green grass.
It was just a trick of the light, she reminded herself as she turned away from the window.
She wasn’t sure she’d done the right thing by letting Ewan come here. He had the power to either complete her daughter’s life … or destroy it, and for the first time since she became responsible for that tiny life-force, she didn’t feel in control.
And that scared the hell out of her.