Chapter 27 #2
‘What do you mean?’ Kenzie asked.
‘For my wish to come true.’
Kenzie felt her throat tighten. ‘You wished for a daddy?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Poppy nodded. ‘When I blew out my birthday candles. You said make a wish, so I did. But it took forever.’
Kenzie blinked her eyes rapidly as she felt tears threaten.
‘I also wished for a baby brother. When is that going to turn up?’
Yeah. No. ‘Okay, time to go to sleep.’
After placing a gentle kiss on her daughter’s forehead, Kenzie eased away from the bed and headed for the open door, jumping slightly when she saw Ewan leaning casually against the doorframe, waiting. ‘Did you happen to hear any of that?’ she asked, wondering how long he’d been standing there.
‘Some. A baby brother, huh?’ He grinned, and Poppy gave a rueful smile. ‘And I’m more than okay with being called Daddy.’ His slightly husky tone melted her. She loved that a four-year-old could bring out this soft side in him.
‘Why didn’t you come in?’
‘I didn’t want to interrupt.’
‘You wouldn’t have,’ she said, pondering her next suggestion with only the slightest of hesitations. ‘If you want, maybe you could do bedtime tomorrow?’
‘You wouldn’t mind?’
She shook her head slightly. ‘Poppy would love it.’ Which was true.
‘I’d like that. Thank you.’ They stood quietly across from one another.
‘Would you come for a walk with me?’
‘Now?’ she asked surprised.
‘It’s a beautiful night, plus the house is too stuffy. I thought it might be nice to get some fresh air.’
Kenzie sent a quick glance out the window. ‘Okay,’ she agreed slowly.
She followed him downstairs and out into the early evening. It was getting dark, but it was still light enough to make out where they were walking. The white gravel beneath their feet was illuminated by the almost full moon above.
As they moved further into the garden, solar lights that had been strategically placed to highlight certain areas and plants made it easier to see, and Kenzie let out a long, appreciative sigh. ‘It’s so beautiful.’
‘It is,’ he agreed, and they slowed down to an amble. ‘You looked panicked tonight,’ he said after a few moments of silence. ‘What’s going on?’
For a moment, in the peaceful tranquillity of the garden at night, she’d almost forgotten about earlier. ‘I guess … everything just suddenly got real.’
‘Everything, how?’
Kenzie shrugged, letting her hand brush across some lavender and breathing in the heady aroma. ‘Christmas has always been spent with Mum and Jack at the farm. Everything’s going to change now.’
‘Everything always changes,’ he pointed out calmly.
‘Our parents always threw big Christmases, then everything changed once they didn’t have little kids to keep the Santa story going.
Then we all grew up and left home. I remember my mum really struggling with it at first, but eventually, grandkids came along and she was back in the thick of it again.
It isn’t the same as it used to be. It’s different, but it’s still good. ’
She took a moment to process his words. It was true that motherhood came with a lot of highs and lows, and even though she hadn’t experienced her child becoming an adult, which she could only imagine would be an enormous thing to have to accept, she had experienced a lot of little changes that she’d mourned—the moment she realised Poppy no longer had that new baby smell and would never be that tiny, perfect baby ever again, the moment when she’d first dropped her baby at daycare, the moments when Poppy had started doing things for herself.
And she remembered the pride and joy each new day brought as she watched her baby grow from a toddler to a little girl and the amazing person she was becoming.
‘Yeah, but Poppy’s only four. I never expected it to change like this.’
‘I can’t say I know what you’re going through, because I don’t, but I can imagine.
I want to experience Christmas with her, Kenzie.
I want to be there for her birthday parties and Easter and all the hundreds of other little moments that will become memories, just the way you have.
Can we at least try to work out a way to make that happen? ’
His words hit her unexpectedly. She wanted to feel defensive and angry, but instead, she was just sad—for Ewan.
He’d already missed all the things she’d been lucky enough to be there for.
She couldn’t imagine ever having not been part of the milestones—her first tooth, her first steps, first words.
Tears began to well. ‘I know I can’t be selfish,’ she said quietly, ‘and I want those things for you and her too … it’s just …
it’s going to take me a while to get used to sharing her.
But you have to also remember Poppy in all of this.
She’s just a little girl, and all this change is going to affect her too. ’
‘I understand that,’ he acknowledged, ‘but her and the boys seem to get on like a house on fire, and Mum and she have been almost inseparable. I honestly don’t think she’s going to be as affected as you’re worrying she’ll be.
But of course, none of us would ever do anything that wasn’t in Poppy’s best interests. ’
It was true that Poppy did seem at ease, but that was while Kenzie was always somewhere nearby.
It could be a different story if she were down here by herself, down the track.
‘We can try and work out a way to make those things happen. As long as it’s done gradually.
I don’t want to rush her.’ Or be rushed for that matter, she added to herself.
‘That’s fair,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘I know it may have felt like I pushed you into coming here,’ he said, then gave a rueful grin. ‘Okay I did push,’ he admitted, ‘but I promise, no one’s going to force you into anything.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, turning her head towards him.
‘Thank you,’ he said quietly, his face a mask of sincerity, ‘for giving me the chance to get to know her.’
For a long moment, they held each other’s gaze, neither in a hurry to see the fragile moment of unity end. Slowly, he leaned towards her and Kenzie welcomed the now familiar warmth he could create inside her with nothing more than a kiss.
It was different tonight, though. There wasn’t the urgency of the few times before, this was a slower, more curious kiss.
Their hands moved across each other, slowly tracing lines and skin.
They took their time, the kiss deepening before easing back and becoming playful, until the need to get closer, to have more, became an ache neither of them could ignore any longer and her hands began tugging at his shirt.
She stopped and frowned when he held her hands still and gave a low chuckle that bordered on a painful groan.
‘As much as everything’s telling me to get you naked right now, I can’t in good faith make love to you in my mother’s prize-winning garden …
at least not after taking you in the shower like some randy teenager. ’
‘I really don’t mind,’ she said, her body protesting its frustration at the withdrawal of his attention.
‘I want to do this right, in comfort. And without the threat of a rose bush thorn in my backside. Come on,’ he said, tugging her into the crook of his arm. ‘Let’s get out of here.’