Chapter 31
Thirty-one
They parked beside a white picket fence with a metal gate. On the other side were a number of headstones.
For a moment, they sat inside the quiet car, the tick of the hot engine as it cooled down louder for the stillness. Kenzie reached across to hold his hand. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah,’ he said, seeming to shake himself out of whatever mood it was that had descended upon him momentarily. ‘Sorry. It’s a bit morbid, I guess, bringing you up here.’
‘Not really,’ she said, looking out through the windscreen. ‘It seems like a really peaceful spot.’
‘Yeah,’ he said, nodding. She saw him swallow hard before giving her hand a gentle squeeze and pushing open his door.
Kenzie followed suit, walking across to the gate that gave a small squeak as he pushed it open. She counted fifteen headstones as they weaved their way across to the far side.
Ewan came to a stop. This grave stood out from the others around it—newer and a lot bigger. It was well maintained, as was the whole cemetery, looking as though it had only recently been mowed.
Arran Campbell was engraved on the large slab of dark grey granite.
A wide-brim, Akubra-like hat was etched in the top corner and there was a photo inside a glass dome frame of a handsome-looking man in his mid-twenties wearing a hat similar to the one engraved.
He looked like a younger version of his father—the same shaped face and serious expression.
‘I wish he was still here,’ Ewan said quietly after a few minutes.
Kenzie slipped her hand into his once more and offered what little comfort she could. She wasn’t sure what to say—she hadn’t known his brother, and it didn’t really feel right to talk about how young he was when he passed. It was just … sad. Such a waste of a life to have died so young.
‘I used to come up here all the time,’ he said, lifting his gaze to look off into the distance. ‘I always felt closer to him back then … which is probably stupid. But it’s strange, because now, I don’t feel him around here anymore,’ he said, then cleared his throat quickly.
‘It’s not stupid,’ Kenzie said softly. ‘I think that must have been very special to feel him around.’ She bit her lip, debating whether to continue. ‘Maybe he’s not around as much now because he knows you don’t need him like you did back then?’
He sent her a swift glance and his lips turned in the slightest curve, then he looked back down at the headstone once more before turning away. ‘We’d better get back to Poppy.’
‘Yeah. Although she probably hasn’t even realised we’ve been gone,’ Kenzie said.
As they walked back towards the car, Ewan took her hand in his and she glanced over at him. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah. It was just something I needed to do. Thanks for coming with me.’
‘Sure. You can stay longer if you like? Poppy’s fine with your mum.’
‘Nah. He’s not here anymore. That’s all I wanted to know.’
Kenzie couldn’t work out if that was a good thing or not—he was suddenly extremely hard to read—but she definitely got the feeling he wasn’t going to talk about it, so she left it alone.
They passed a few of the older headstones, and Kenzie noted the dates and names.
‘These are all McDonalds,’ she said, stopping beside two small graves and feeling her heart break at the ages on the headstones of the twins who’d died only three days after they’d been born.
She tried to imagine their little cradles, briefly set up in the nursery room, and swallowed hard.
It suddenly hit her that everyone in this cemetery would have, at one time, lived in the old house.
All these generations of the one family, here together.
‘Yeah, it was originally their family cemetery. Arran’s the only Campbell. We figured he loved this place so much, it only seemed right that he stayed here. Dad’ll probably do the same.’
‘It’s a nice gesture, being part of a place that’s so special forever. I can understand why people do it.’
‘Yeah. It means a lot to my parents.’
When they reached the car, Kenzie tipped her head back and searched his face briefly for a moment, seeing it soften, then leaned forward and kissed him.
It wasn’t a kiss to ignite the passion that seemed to always be simmering just below the surface, but a silent message that she was there for him in whatever capacity he needed her to be, and she hoped he could feel her strength pour into him. He didn’t have to feel alone anymore.
She didn’t know the complete story of what really went on when Ewan was growing up, but she’d seen enough of Callum to realise that Ewan would have shouldered a lot of the blame on those broad shoulders. And that was a lot to handle for anybody.
Kenzie and Floss sat outside under the shady golden elm in the backyard the next afternoon, after Floss had called the main house to invite her and Poppy over for a playdate with her boys.
Floss and Joe’s place was only a few hundred metres from the main house and, although notably smaller, Kenzie thought it had just as much character and charm.
Built from the same sandstone bricks, it had a front verandah with timber posts and beautiful ironwork.
Off to one side, it looked as though an addition had been made to the original square main house.
They sipped cold drinks as they watched the children play on the trampoline and climbing frame. The sound of carefree chatter and the occasional ‘Look at me’ called out over the gentle breeze in the treetops and birdsong that sounded around them.
‘It’s just so … peaceful here.’ Kenzie sighed.
‘It can be,’ Floss agreed. ‘But wait until there’s a muster. The dust and flies and cattle bellowing just out there in the stockyards are not terribly enjoyable.’
‘I thought all that would be done in the yards further down the road?’
‘That’s the feedlot. Mostly the cattle are trucked in from other places to finish off there, but we still have our own cattle and breeding programs here on Laire-Mor and they use the cattle yards here for all the usual things: drenching, branding, vaccinations.’
‘There’s just so much going on here. The feedlot, the trucks, the breeding program, the vineyard,’ Kenzie listed off.
‘Yeah, I know. Fingers in every pie, that’s what the locals usually say.’ She smiled tolerantly.
‘But the winery was your idea?’
‘Joe’s and mine. Joe worked in wineries for years and we decided we wanted to create our own vineyard.
Dad wanted Joe to come and work for him, and we planned on saving up to buy our own place.
Only it’s like that old Eagles song, “Hotel California”, you know,’ she said dryly, looking over at Kenzie, ‘the bit about being able to check out whenever but never being able to leave? That’s kind of what it’s like when you come back to this place. ’
‘Why’s that?’ Kenzie asked, both curious and a little confused.
Floss looked over to where the kids were playing, her earlier amusement melting away slowly.
‘Dad has a way of—’ She paused, as though silently amending what she’d been going to say, ‘—convincing you to his way of thinking.’ She noticed that Floss’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes when she turned to look at Kenzie once more.
‘At least you ended up with your winery, I guess?’ Kenzie said, looking for the silver lining.
‘Sort of,’ Floss said with a sigh.
‘Ewan left, though. Before?’
Floss sent her a considering look. ‘Has he told you about that then?’
‘Not in great detail. He’s just mentioned it. I take it he and your dad had a falling-out over something.’
‘Yeah,’ she replied as she looked towards the kids again.
Her abrupt reply left Kenzie feeling slightly awkward. ‘I wasn’t fishing for gossip,’ she said, fearing she’d just made Floss angry.
‘Oh,’ she said, quickly glancing at her. ‘No, I didn’t think you were. That’s just not my story to tell.’
A squabble broke out between Angus and Cameron, and Floss’s attention was swiftly redirected to her children, getting up to play referee before it could escalate.
That evening, after Kenzie tucked Poppy into bed and said goodnight, Ewan asked if she’d like to go for a walk outside again.
All day, she’d caught herself thinking about him and reliving the night before last. She still had no idea what they were doing or where this was headed.
Surely it wasn’t a good idea? And yet, try as she might, she could not stop thinking about him.
Ewan took her hand in his and they followed the gravel path. Tonight the moon was full and the moonlight hit the small stones, making the path glow brighter than two nights before. His hand was enormous as it closed securely around hers, and a giddy feeling began to bubble up inside her.
‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day,’ he said as they stopped at a small bench beneath a weeping willow.
‘Me either,’ she admitted.
‘You don’t sound happy about it,’ he remarked.
‘It’s not that,’ she said, wondering how she was going to explain it. ‘I’m just … not sure what we’re doing.’
‘Has it been that long that you’ve forgotten?’ he joked.
‘I’m being serious. I told you before … that night, back then … that wasn’t usually me. It’s still not.’
‘I never thought it was,’ he said.
‘It’s just … you don’t know what you’re doing, where you’re going to be. How do we start something when there’s no assurance we’ll even be in the same state?’
‘It’s not as bad as it sounds. I mean, sure, I’m currently without a job and that isn’t ideal boyfriend material, but I can assure you I’m not destitute, and I don’t plan on being without a job for long.
And I don’t know where you got the interstate thing from.
It’s always been my plan to go back to the coast. I just needed a break. That’s why I was coming down here.’
‘So, you’re not thinking about moving down here?’
‘Here?’ he echoed, sounding surprised. ‘No. I guess I just needed to lick my wounds a bit, and then when I realised that Poppy could meet my family at the same time that just kind of sealed the deal. You wanted me to use this time to think about what I wanted,’ he said, softening his tone.
‘I want to be part of Poppy’s life. I want to be there to watch her grow up. I want to be her dad.’
‘Is that what this is about?’ she asked cautiously.
‘What, what’s about?’ he asked.
‘Us. This … thing that’s going on,’ she said. ‘You don’t need to be with me just to be part of Poppy’s life.’
‘I know that,’ he said, sounding slightly offended.
She felt something tight in her chest loosen. ‘It’s just all been such a whirlwind,’ she said. ‘You were engaged to someone else only a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve only just met again, and now Poppy knows you’re her father … it’s all just moving so fast.’
‘On paper, it sounds completely insane,’ he said, nodding as he examined their intertwined hands.
‘And maybe it’s just me, but how I’ve felt in just a handful of days with you, I know for certain I never felt that in the entire time I was with Sasha.
I felt it back then too. I remember feeling something unexplainable from the moment I first set eyes on you, an instant connection.
You have no idea how many times over the years I wished we’d met at any other time but that night. ’
‘I know what you mean. It wasn’t my finest moment,’ Kenzie muttered.
‘That’s how I know it was something special. Even when we should have been too drunk to even remember that night, I can replay it minute by minute.’
It was as though he’d been reading her mind. Everything he said, she’d always felt too. The regret that they hadn’t met and done things differently, taken their time to get to know each other …
Exchanged names, that little voice added drolly.
‘It’s like we’ve been given a second shot at it. I want to do things differently this time. We don’t have to rush into anything. That is, if you feel the same way.’
She felt exactly the same way. He was right—it was completely insane—and yet, it felt right. ‘I do. I’m just worried about Poppy. She’s had so many things thrown at her lately, it’s a lot to process for a little kid. Then adding in a new relationship.’
‘She’s taken everything in her stride so far. Mind you, discovering she had a dad wasn’t nearly as exciting as discovering she had two cousins,’ he said, sending her an off-centre grin. Kenzie chuckled. ‘She’s so stoked about that. They haven’t stopped playing.’
‘Let’s just take it one day at a time then. We don’t have to make it a big deal, we’ll just do what we’ve been doing and see where it goes?’
That sounded sensible. ‘Okay,’ she said, suddenly feeling shy.
Did they just decide to become boyfriend and girlfriend? She inwardly rolled her eyes at herself. What are you, twelve?