Chapter 28
Kerrie felt someone standing beside her in her sleepy state. Or was it her pounding head that woke her? Cracking her eyes open, her headache increased with the addition of light. She saw a woman in green scrubs hanging a bag of clear liquid onto a pole. A pole? And a nurse? What—the hospital? It slowly came back to her. She was in the hospital. She jolted wide awake with panic. "Kenny?"
The nurse looked down, puzzled, but warm hands touched her arm on the other side. "Shh, Kenny is okay. He's home with Mabel. I talked to her about 30 minutes ago. He was up and watching Paw Patrol and having coffee."
It took a moment for the words to register, but then relief flowed through her tight chest. He was okay.
She closed her eyes and smacked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She was so thirsty. Her mouth was sticky, and her lips were dry.
"Here," Bette said gently, as Kerrie opened her eyes to find a cup of water before her.
The nurse and Bette helped her sit up enough to drink, her head swimming. Taking a moment to settle herself, she nodded, and Bette pressed the cup to her lips. It was the most refreshing drink of water that had ever passed her lips. The coolness hitting her sandpapery throat could be felt all the way down to her stomach. She drained the cup and was helped to lie back on the bed.
"When can I leave?"
Bette's mouth dropped open, and she shook her head. "You can't even sit up. You're not in any shape to leave."
Annoyance tugged at her. "I just need to get my bearings. "
"The doctor will be in to see you soon. Maybe she can explain more. Right now, we're pumping you full of fluids. Are you hurting anywhere?"
She nodded, but that only seemed to make the pain worse. "My head is killing me."
"It's probably the dehydration, but you could have bumped it when you fell. How about I get you some pain medicine?"
"Just Tylenol," she said quickly. "I'm in recovery and don't like to be in an altered state."
"Tylenol coming right up. I'll also note your preference in the chart."
The nurse left them, and she felt the side of the bed shift with Bette's weight as she sat next to Kerrie. She looked upset. "Should I have told them you were in recovery? It never crossed my mind that pain medicine would be a problem."
Kerrie moved her hand to Bette's thigh, finding comfort in the touch. "Don't worry about it. I want to thank you for last night. I love knowing you can take care of Kenny in moments like that."
"And you. I was so scared seeing you on the floor."
"I'm sorry for scaring you. I guess I didn't realize how hard I'd been pushing myself."
Bette smoothed her hand on Kerrie's stomach and adjusted the covers. "I think you do so much for others that you forget to take care of Kerrie."
Kerrie snorted, then winced at the action as a jolt of pain went through her head. "Yeah, I've heard that before. Shit, what time is it? I need to call in."
"I already texted Tyler and told him you were sick."
A little guilt nudged at her gut. She didn't know how she felt about someone doing things for her like that. Taking care of Kenny, helping her during an emergency, and calling into work for her. Even when she was chastising Kerrie about staying in the damn hospital. "Thank you again."
Kerrie dozed off and on for a few hours, and every time she woke, Bette was right beside her. The doctor had come by, a wispy, tall lady with a gruff but kind bedside manner. Kerrie insisted she be released despite Bette's pleas to rest, and after going round and round a bit, the doctor said she would only be comfortable releasing her if she peed twice.
The problem was she hadn't even peed once. Not even a little tingling of an urge. It was starting to piss her off. She didn't like feeling helpless. Feeling weak. The longer she lay there, the harder it became. She wanted to go home. She wanted to have some kind of control, but lying there in the hospital bed, she realized that she didn't have any control. And that terrified her. Control was all she had to make her feel secure. And now she felt anything but secure .
Around 2:00 in the afternoon, she was finally able to go to the bathroom. She had already had four bags of fluids, and she was drinking water and eating ice chips as often as she could between naps. But it still didn't feel like she was getting hydrated. Even her skin felt dry, like she had baked in the oven a little too long.
After helping Kerrie get back to the bed, Bette covered her up and made sure she could reach her table.
"If you're okay, I'm going to go to the house and take a shower and check on Kenny. I think it'll be a little bit more before you'll be able to pee again."
"Yeah, I know. That's fine. Go do what you need to do. I'm not going anywhere for at least a few more hours," she answered, bitterness in her voice.
"I'd say probably more like five or six," commented Trina, the day shift nurse, as she walked into the room. "I've got you another bag."
Kerrie groaned, running her hand through her hair. "My God, is it ever going to stop? Surely, at this point, my eyeballs should be floating."
The nurse snorted as she hung up the bag. "You were pretty severely dehydrated. It's going to take a while before you start feeling well again."
"Of course it is," Kerrie said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, if you need anything, just hit the buzzer, and one of us will come in."
They watched Trina leave, and Bette picked up her purse. "All right. I'll be back in a few hours. Call me if you need me. I wrote my number down here," she motioned at the little slip of paper on the table. "I'll bring your phone with me. Until then, just use the landline by your bed."
Nodding, she leaned up to give Bette a goodbye kiss. "Thank you. Could you bring me a change of clothes? I'm not trying to wear this lovely ensemble outside of this room."
"You got it. I wouldn't want all these nurses to try to take you from me when they get a view of your backside hanging out of that gown," teased Bette with a wink. "I'll be back."
For the next few hours, Kerrie drifted in and out of consciousness. It was like she couldn't get enough sleep, just like she couldn't get enough fluids, and she wasn't quite sure how she had gotten to this point. She knew she'd been tired in the last few days. She was perpetually tired; the feeling had become normal, but there had been something a little more exhausting in this kind of tiredness.
Work had been overwhelming. Grants were coming to a close, and they were releasing what funding was left so that it would be used up. That was the thing about having state funding. If they gave you money, you had to use it all. Otherwise, they would say you didn't need it, and they wouldn't give you as much the next year. Normally, as soon as parole officers heard that they had money to spend, the floodgates would open with clients coming in. She was at her max of 12, and Wilson was at 11. Not to mention, Tindle Street was down a counselor for a week while Thomas took vacation time. Someone had to help, and the people at The Main didn't know how to run a building on their own. The only thing they could do was help with notes, and even then, they really didn't volunteer to do that. So Kerrie went to rescue Clinton despite having her own full caseload.
Add taking care of Kenny and taking on a few extra evening meetings here or there from work. Otherwise, the clients wouldn't be able to attend an outside meeting, and Kerrie hated the idea of them not getting to experience a meeting while in treatment. It increased the likelihood that they would go on their own after leaving treatment. Of course, other people could have volunteered, but it never seemed to occur to them that someone other than Kerrie could help out. Or perhaps they just assumed Kerrie would do it, so why should they bother?
She wouldn't call her time with Bette a chore. Certainly wasn't tiring. But some nights had her going to bed later than she would have liked, and she couldn't really remember the last time she had a few hours to herself without anyone around. She absolutely loved spending time with Bette. She couldn't imagine her not being around now. She could feel herself falling for her, and she didn't want to stop, but her body was telling her she needed to slow down, and she wasn't quite sure how to do that. She just needed some good rest and fluids, and she should be okay again. Surely that was all that was needed?
Still, it was terrifying to think of how close Kenny came to being on his own. To Kerrie losing her life. What if she had hit her head and died? What if she had passed out behind the wheel of her truck? Fear tugged at her gut, gripping her throat and making it difficult to swallow. What if she had died?
A little while later, she was released from the medical jail. Twenty hours later, she wanted nothing more than to get back to her regular routine.
"I'm giving you a prescription for the nausea, and I want you to keep drinking liquids. Not just water. Something with electrolytes. Avoid dehydrating drinks like coffee or Coke. You need to rest as much as possible, nothing strenuous, and take a week off from work."
Kerrie shook her head, grimacing only slightly at the mild headache still plaguing her. It had eased up, but not much. "I can't take a week."
"You need rest. If you don't, you'll just end up here again or worse."
We'll see about that.
When the nurse insisted she be taken out in a wheelchair, Kerrie was overcome with humiliation and kept her head down, hoping no one would see her being treated like an invalid. It didn't help that the nurse and Bette fretted over her while transferring her to Bette's SUV. Her legs were still unsteady if she moved too fast, but pride prevented her from accepting that she needed the help.
Bette slid into the driver's seat and put her seatbelt on. She gave Kerrie a hard look. "Are you sure you're okay? I feel like you're leaving too soon."
"I'm fine. I'll drink my liquids and relax this weekend. I'll be good as new by Monday."
"You heard what the doctor said. You need at least a week to recover."
"I know what she said. I know my body better than anyone else. I'll be fine."
"But—"
"Bette, can we just go?" snapped Kerrie in a harsher tone than she meant to use.
Stone-faced, Bette put the car in drive, staring straight ahead. They rode in a tense silence all the way home.
"Kerrie!"
Relief like nothing Kerrie had ever felt burst from her chest at the sight of her twin on the porch. She stumbled to him. Bette grabbed onto her sweatpants-covered hips to steady her while Mabel held Kenny back from trying to trip his way down the steps. Once both were on the porch, arms wrapped around each other, Kenny's sobs carried out over the backyard.
"It's okay, Buddy, shh, it's okay," said Kerrie in a soothing voice, rubbing his back with one hand and bracing herself up on the railing with the other. She could feel Bette's hands still on her, making sure she didn't tip right over. Like her smaller girlfriend had any chance of catching her.
Kenny pulled back and cupped Kerrie's face, looking it over like he wasn't sure it was her. He stuttered over his words. "I missed, I missed you."
She kissed his forehead and squeezed him tighter with her arm. "I missed you too. I'm sorry I scared you. Can we go inside? I need to sit down."
Kerrie gave Mabel a short hug and then stumbled her way to the recliner. It felt like heaven to be back in her home.